I've told Angel everything, of course. Her advice was- no surprise here- to f.u.c.k him again and see how I feel. I tried telling her I don't need to f.u.c.k him again; I already know how I feel, but she refuses to accept that as a valid response.

Maybe I should take her advice for once...

"We're here." Kimber's voice pulls me back to the present, and I immediately shake off the lingering thought.

I look out the window just in time to see the cab pull up in front of Ramshacks, a hopping bar and grill not ten minutes from campus. I've been here several times before and it's a location I am extremely comfortable with. At least I have that much and not in some strange place two hours from home. This place offers me an easy escape should I need it. Not to mention, I know at least a handful of the waitresses from school.

I follow Kimber out of the car and into the restaurant, taking a deep breath before pushing my way inside. It takes a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the dim overhead lighting and I blink rapidly several times before the interior finally comes into view.

It's busy but not too bad considering it's a Friday night. Most of the booths that circle the far walls of the room are full, but there are several high-top tables around the bar that are still empty. Kimber grabs my hand and pulls me in that direction.

Before I even have a chance to react, she leads me to one of the already occupied high tops, this one a long rectangle that seats eight. I recognize Paxton first. He throws Kimber a wide smile and nods in our direction, prompting Decklan, whose back is to us, to turn.

"Hey." He gives her a jaw-dropping smile and pulls her against him. Her body disappears into his embrace, his muscular arms caging her in.

She pushes up and lays a kiss to his scruffy jaw before stepping back and giving the other two people at the table a little wave.

"Paxton you've met Harlee, yes?" She addresses the too hot for his own good musician, who hits me with a panty-melting smile.

Holy h.e.l.l what is with these guys? All three of them are unbelievably good looking; Paxton, even better than I remembered. Don't even get me started on Decklan. And then Gavin... Well, I think I've made it pretty clear how irresistible that one is. Even on a good day, with a clear mind, I have trouble thinking straight in his presence.

"We have." Paxton interrupts my thoughts. "Good to see you again, Harlee." He nods.

"You too." I smile, turning to the next person Kimber starts to introduce.

"This is Gavin's cousin, Tracy." She gestures to the young brunette sitting directly across from Decklan. "Tracy, this is my roommate, Harlee."

"Nice to meet you, Tracy," I say, giving the girl a smile.

If I had to guess, I'd say she's at least a couple years younger than I am. There's an innocence to her big chocolate eyes. Something that tells me she hasn't quite seen the world for the way it is just yet.

"There you are." Kimber's head snaps to the side, and I follow her sight.

The moment his face comes into view, I suck in a ragged breath. Not only because Gavin looks incredible in his dark jeans and fitted black shirt, but also because he has a gorgeous slender brunette on his arm. One that hits me with dark eyes the moment she steps up in front of me.

At first, I think she's going to hit me or something, the way she studies me for a long moment. Instead, she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me into a tight hug.

"You must be Harlee. It's so nice to meet you," she sings, finally releasing me after a long moment.

"I... Um..." I stutter, not sure who the h.e.l.l this person is.

"Charlie, leave her alone and go sit down." Gavin shoves at her playfully.

Charlie... His sister.

Relief immediately floods through me. For a moment I thought I was going to have to endure him hanging all over some beautiful brunette all night. I hate that the thought even bothers me, but it does. Knowing she's his sister brings a whole new level of panic to the surface.

How does she know about me? Has he talked to her about us? About me? What has he said? Certainly, given the fact that she hugged me, he must have told her something. Why would he tell his sister about me?

The questions flood my mind as I watch Charlie cross around the table and slide into the stool next to Paxton. Now that I really look at her, it's clear she's related to Gavin. They have the same dark hair, the same big eyes-despite the fact that they're different colors, and the same wide, mischievous smile.

"I'm glad you changed your mind." Gavin pulls my attention back to him just as Kimber slides into the seat next to Decklan, leaving the two seats directly across from them empty.

As much as I don't want to, I know that I am going to be stuck sitting directly next to Gavin. I'm already getting lightheaded by the incredible smell radiating off of him. It's hard saying how I will feel having to endure being so close to him for the duration of dinner.

"Well, Kimber asked," I say, avoiding his gaze as I cross around the backside of the table and take the seat across from Kimber.

As I predicted, Gavin wastes no time sliding in next to me, giving me a knowing smile as he does. I hate that he thinks this is all about him. Is it that far out of the realm of possibility that I would come here for Kimber and not him?

I look down the table at the row of people across from me. Kimber, Decklan, and Tracy all line the front side, where Charlie, Paxton, Gavin, and I occupy the other.

"Is anyone else coming?" Kimber asks the exact question I was thinking.

"No, I think this is it," Gavin answers. "We invited Mia too, but she's busy with her kids." He seems almost relieved by this fact.

I get the feeling him and his older sibling are not all that close. Though I'm sure the difference in age has something to do with it. From what Kimber has told me, which isn't all that much, Mia, who is six years older than Gavin, is not quite as laid back as the rest of the Porter family.

I turn my attention to the menu in front of me, eager to have something to focus on other than the man sitting next to me. I swear I feel his eyes on the side of my face, but I choose to ignore him as I continue to read over the menu, despite the fact that I know exactly what I want.

I order the same thing every time I come here: a club sandwich and sweet potato fries. And while usually it's one of my favorites, right now the thought of stomaching any food makes me feel half ill.

Gavin squeezes the top of my thigh causing me to jump slightly in my stool. Finally looking in his direction, I pin wide eyes on him. He laughs and then nods his head to the side. Only then do I realize the waitress standing at the edge of our table, clearly waiting for me to order my drink. How did I not even notice she was there?

"Sorry." I give her a weak smile, grateful that I have no idea who she is. "I'll take a water with lemon please," I say, feeling the goose b.u.mps spread down my back as Gavin's hand once again settles on my leg, this time sliding upward slowly instead of grabbing me playfully.

My whole body tenses and I turn my gaze back to his face, tempted to smack off the smug smile I see there.

"Stop," I mouth, pushing his hand away.

He lets out a small chuckle, clearly not the least bit concerned about what anyone else at the table is doing.

"No," he mouths back, his gaze holding firmly to mine.

Before I can even react, I feel his hand come to a rest just above my knee. The thin material of my leggings offers no protection from the heat of his touch as it slides slowly upward once again. Every painfully slow inch it climbs, the tighter my lower belly clenches, a need forming deep inside of me. A need I know only one thing will satisfy.

When he stops just inches from my upper thigh, I relax a little. I ignore the nagging sense of disappointment I feel as I try to focus on the conversation currently taking place around the table. Something about Charlie enrolling at the University of Oregon for her last year, but I've already missed too much of what was said to really follow.

I turn my attention to Kimber, who instead of listening to Charlie, seems to be focused solely on me. She looks between Gavin and me for a long moment before a knowing smile begins to creep across her face.

She throws me a wink and then turns away, leaving me staring across the table at her in complete confusion. What is it that she saw that prompted her reaction? Am I that transparent that without any action she can read me so easily?

I'm still trying to sort through all of this when I feel Gavin's grip tighten on my thigh. I flick my eyes toward him, my frustration starting to mount. I expect to see him staring at me with teasing eyes and a c.o.c.ky smile; what I find instead is so much worse.

Blue, l.u.s.t-filled eyes settle on mine just moments before I feel his warm hand cup my s.e.x, causing me to let out a slow, shaky breath. I want to turn away, break the contact, but I can't seem to muster it.

At this moment, all I want is him. I want to feel his hand bare against my most sensitive flesh and not against the barrier of my pants. I want to feel his lips hot against my neck, my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, lighting up my entire body.

I want all of these things and yet none of them at all. Because I know that succ.u.mbing to such wants will only make things that much worse. With every touch, I want another. With every kiss, I crave more. I am stuck in this endless battle of head versus heart, and I can feel both teetering beneath the undeniable spark this man lights inside of me.

Chapter Nine.

Harlee "Will you excuse me for a moment?" I say to no one in particular, sliding out of my stool in an effort to get away from Gavin's consuming touch.

"Ladies," I mouth to Kimber who nods and turns her attention back to Decklan, who is currently having a conversation with Paxton that I have not been able to concentrate on long enough to follow.

I ignore the heat that burns across my back where I'm sure Gavin's eyes are watching me as I cross around the bar and disappear down the long hallway that houses the bathrooms.

Stepping inside the ladies room, I immediately cross to the sink. Resting my palms on either side, I take a deep breath, finally peering up at my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed and a small layer of perspiration has formed along my hair line. My G.o.d, what is this man doing to me?

Grabbing a paper towel, I quickly turn on the cold water, dampening the cloth. Flipping the water off, I ring out the excess liquid from the towel before blotting it across my forehead, trying to cool myself down despite the fact that it's not even the least bit warm in the restaurant. If anything it's cooler than I normally would prefer.

"Get yourself together," I say to my reflection, taking several deep breaths before tossing the towel in the trash can.

I spin toward the door and exit. The moment I emerge on the other side, a hand closes down around my forearm, pulling me to the side.

"What the..." I don't get the rest of my sentence out. Warm lips settle over mine, silencing my voice. My entire body erupts in a chaos of p.r.i.c.kles and b.u.t.terflies.

"I've wanted to do that all night," Gavin breathes against my mouth before deepening the kiss.

It's like my body is operating on auto-pilot, my mind too clouded to consciously take any ownership of my actions. I don't stop him when his tongue slides into my mouth. I don't stop him when his hands settle on my hips, forcing his arousal to press firmly against my stomach. I don't stop him even though I know that is exactly what I should do.

It isn't until I hear a throat clear that the real world seems to return, and I remember where the h.e.l.l I am and what I'm doing. Gavin immediately breaks away from my mouth, our heads turning toward the noise in unison.

My heart leaps into my throat when I see a very amused Kimber standing just feet from us, her arms crossed in front of her chest, a large smile lighting up her entire face.

"Food's here," she says, focusing her gaze on me as I slide out of Gavin's embrace. "You've been gone for a while. I wanted to make sure everything was okay." She looks behind me to Gavin. "I see you're just fine." She smiles, spinning around without another word.

I follow her back to the table in silence, noticing immediately that Gavin chooses to hang back and not come with us. I avoid Decklan's gaze as I slide into my stool. Looking down at the food in front of me, I reach for the ketchup like nothing out of the ordinary is going on.

I feel Gavin reappear at the table moments later, but I don't look in his direction right away. I need a few minutes to process, to figure out what the h.e.l.l just happened before I find myself sucked back into the trance he seems to put me in.

I keep my focus on my food, forcing down one sweet potato fry at a time despite the fact that each one I eat seems to stick in my throat and threatens to come back up. Gavin doesn't touch me again. I think he knows I need a little s.p.a.ce, and I'm thankful he's not pushing it.

I turn my attention to Kimber when I hear her whisper arguing with Decklan who appears to be anything but angry. In fact, he seems happy. Really happy. He ignores Kimber's attempts to deter him from whatever it is he's about to do, turning his attention to everyone at the table.

"Since we have all of you here, I'd like to make an announcement," Decklan starts, ignoring Kimber's attempts to silence him. "This is not how we planned to tell you all, but it seems easier this way since we're all together." He drops his arm around Kimber's shoulder and proudly tucks her into him. "I've asked Kimber to marry me."

His announcement causes more than one person at the table to gasp in surprise and poor Tracy looks suddenly very ill. I don't know why, but it seems like no one saw this coming. Obviously, they know Decklan much better than I do because I'm not the least bit surprised by this news.

"Obviously, I said yes," Kimber huffs, giving Decklan an aggravated look, which immediately turns into a smile when he crinkles his nose playfully at her.

He drops a sweet kiss to her mouth, prompting an even larger smile from her when he pulls his face away.

"I love you," he mouths, ignoring the congratulations and hoots of celebration that now sound around the table.

This is what changed me. Witnessing the type of love Decklan and Kimber have for each other has only intensified my need to be loved like that. Before they got together, I was happy in my ignorance. I thought being free to hook up and do whatever I wanted to do was what would make me happy.

Now I see how wrong I was. What would make me happy is to find someone who looks at me the way Decklan looks at Kimber. I flip my eyes hesitantly to Gavin whose hand closes down around mine underneath the table even though his eyes remain focused on his best friend.

It's almost like he can sense the sadness and yet utter elation that is seeping through me all at the same time.

"I think you can put your ring on now." Decklan nudges Kimber's shoulder with his, clearly very anxious to show the world just who she belongs to.

She grins up at him before grabbing her clutch purse from the table. Moments later she is pulling out a radiant cut halo ring with a light pink diamond perched in the center. It's probably the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. The style and color fit Kimber perfectly; beautiful, elegant, one of a kind.

"We're going to wait a while." Kimber immediately turns her gaze to me as she slides the ring onto her finger. "I'm not moving out on you or anything," she promises, which is actually quite a relief. I can't even begin to imagine what college would be like without having Kimber as my roommate.

"We were thinking maybe next year," Decklan continues for her.

"We still have a lot of details to figure out," she adds, smiling up at her fiancee.

Fiancee... It's odd to think about.

"Well this calls for a toast," Gavin announces after several long moments.

His hand finally releases mine as he stands, holding up his bottle of beer.

"To Decklan and Kimber." The smile on his face literally takes my breath away. I don't think I have ever seen a more beautiful man up close.

"Deck, you aren't just my best friend, you're my brother," He continues. "I couldn't be happier for you right now man. Kimber." He turns his attention to my teary-eyed friend. "You gave him peace. Something I never thought he'd find. I'll never be able to truly thank you for that. Take care of him."

"Here. Here," Paxton chimes in, standing to raise his beer bottle as well. Everyone else at the table follows suit, raising their gla.s.ses to toast Kimber and Decklan.

Once everyone has settled back into their seats and the initial shock of their announcement seems to have worn off, the conversation once again flows freely around the table.

"It's ours," Decklan answers simply when Charlie presses to find out how he proposed. "Our memory. Something just for us." He winks down at Kimber before turning back to Charlie who seems almost impressed with his response.

She catches Paxton's gaze as she turns away from Decklan, and I can't help but feel like I see something in their exchange. I keep my eyes on them for several more seconds before I realize it must have just been in my head. The two seem completely at ease and normal, though a part of me can't help but wonder if that's not an act for their current audience.

I decide it's none of my business, turning my head away. That's when I realize Gavin is staring at me. Not just looking at me but staring. His eyes are locked on my face and his forehead is scrunched together like he's in deep thought.

When I catch his gaze he instantly snaps out of it, giving me a warm smile before turning away. Making a grab for his beer bottle, he drains the contents in one long gulp and then turns back toward me.

"You want to get out of here?" He keeps his voice low enough that no one else at the table can hear what he's saying, his blue eyes locked on mine.

"I can't," I answer just as quietly, shaking my head.

"Yes you can," he challenges.

I flick my eyes to Kimber who nods when Decklan whispers something to her and then turns toward me.