I won't do it over the phone; he deserves more than that. But I will do it, and soon. No one tells you how hard these things are. I've never been in a situation to care enough about hurting someone, let alone two someones. This has to end, and I'm the only one that can make that happen.

It's about time I prove to myself that there's nothing I won't endure to be with Gavin. Because at the end of the day, he is the only thing in this world I know with complete certainty I don't want to live without.

Chapter Seventeen.

Harlee "I'm so glad you came." Kimber smiles from ear to ear, pulling me into a tight hug just moments after I step inside Gavin's mom's house.

"Hey," I say, pulling back to meet her gaze the moment she releases me.

"When Gavin said he was inviting you, I thought there was no way you would agree." She loops her arm through mine and pulls me further inside what appears to be a formal sitting room that sits just off the foyer.

"I'm not very good at telling that man no," I say loud enough so Gavin can hear, throwing him a playful glare as he steps into the room next to me.

"Where's Deck?" He turns his attention to Kimber.

"Your mom has him fixing a loose cabinet in the kitchen," she says. "I didn't know he was so handy. Man's been holding out on me." She nudges my hip with hers.

"That's because he's smart," Gavin teases, stepping to the side with just enough time to avoid being smacked by Kimber who misses him completely and catches nothing but air.

"You watch yourself, Porter." She wags her finger at him. "Come on. Rosie is dying to meet you." She winks, pulling me through the sitting room and down a short hallway that opens up into a rather large kitchen.

My eyes barely make it past the large island that sits in the center of the room before they land on a pet.i.te, auburn-haired lady, her focus firmly on Decklan as he drills a screw into the cabinet hinge.

"There," he says when he's finished, pulling on the door to show her that the issue has been fixed.

"Thank you, my boy." She smiles fondly at Decklan, patting his shoulder. "Don't know what I'd do without you boys." She turns, for the first time seeing that Gavin and I have arrived.

"Speaking of my boys." She smiles widely at her son, immediately crossing the s.p.a.ce toward him.

She has to be a good foot shorter than him and probably half of his weight, but that doesn't stop her from pulling him down to her level as she wraps her arms around his neck and gives him a tight hug.

"So glad you could make it," she says, taking a step back to look at him moments after releasing him from her embrace.

"Mom," he says, turning his eyes toward me which draws her attention in my direction, "I'd like you to meet Harlee."

Her face immediately lights up as she turns toward me, eyes that match Gavin's instantly finding my gaze.

"My dear, you are simply gorgeous," she says moments before pulling me into a hug as well.

I try not to tense at the contact but can't help my natural reaction to do just that. I'm not used to being around such affectionate people. I'm pretty sure I can count the times my mother hugged me on one hand. To have someone offer such affection right out of the gate is a bit overwhelming.

"I'm so glad you could come," she says, releasing me from her embrace before taking both of my hands in hers. "Gavin has told me all about you. He's quite taken with you. Of course, now I can see why." She winks, releasing my hands.

"Ignore her," Gavin interrupts, shaking his head at his mom. "She gets really excited when she gets to meet new people. It's like bringing home a new puppy; she can't help but love all over it."

"Did you just compare me to a dog?" I hit him with a playful glare.

"And she has sa.s.s." Rosie pulls my attention back to her. "I think you're gonna fit in here just fine." She winks, turning her attention back to Gavin. "Why don't you and Decklan go set the table? Leave the girls alone for a bit to chit chat," she says, shooing Gavin toward the door.

He throws me an apologetic smile before disappearing into the dining room with Decklan. While normally I would probably be panicking over the prospect of being left alone with his mother, there is something about her that just puts me at ease.

"Is there something I can help with?" I ask, gesturing to the bread and various other ingredients spread out across the counter.

"That would be lovely, dear." She smiles and nods, turning her attention back toward the food. "Kimber, will you cut some cuc.u.mber for the salad?" she asks, turning to set two large cuc.u.mbers on the island in front of Kimber.

"You got it." Kimber grabs the vegetables and immediately crosses to the sink to wash them. It's clear that this is not the first time she has helped Rosie in the kitchen.

"Harlee, if you could grab a tomato over there and slice it up for the sandwiches." She points to a row of tomatoes that line the back of the counter. If I had to guess, I would say they were pulled fresh from a garden within the last day or two. I don't how I know that but I can just tell.

"Of course." I cross the s.p.a.ce, grabbing the largest of the tomatoes before turning back to Rosie.

"Knives are over there." She nods to the opposite end of the countertop before I can even open my mouth to ask. "And there's an extra cutting board in that cabinet." Again she gestures with her head, dropping two pieces of bread onto the sandwich grill in front of her.

The three of us fall into a steady rhythm, working together in comfortable silence as we prepare lunch. Rosie pauses here and there from what she's doing to ask me a question: what I'm studying in school, where I grew up; the usual basic things. I find it almost unsettling how comfortable she has managed to make me feel in such a short period of time.

It's clear to see I'm not the only one, either. Kimber, who usually is more standoffish than I am, laughs and moves around the kitchen like she's done so a million times before. I have to remind myself that while Kimber had both of her parents growing up; she's never really known what it means to have a real mom.

h.e.l.l, her mom was a lot worse than mine in some ways. While mine was addicted to pills and absent for most of my childhood, Kimber's spent her early years trying to force her to be someone they wanted as a daughter rather than loving her for the amazing girl she already is. I'm not sure what's worse-having a mom who chooses not to love you for you or having a mom who chooses to love something else more.

Watching the way Kimber interacts with Rosie, it's clear to see that she has come to look at her as more than just Gavin's mom. In a way, the thought makes me jealous. Not that Kimber is a part of Gavin's family now; that makes me extremely happy for her. It's more of what Gavin has-what they all have- that makes me so envious.

I try to picture what Gavin's life must have been like as a child. How it felt having someone like Rosie as a mom and a household full of people who loved him. When I close my eyes I can almost see it; the picture perfect family I used to dream about when I was younger. He had it, all of it. And even though he lost his father a couple of years ago, the amount of love and happiness still evident in this house is overwhelming.

"Harlee." Kimber's voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I look up to see her studying me curiously, a large salad bowl in her hands. "Come on." She gestures to the doorway.

"Oh sorry." I shake my head.

Grabbing the pitcher of iced tea in front of me, I follow her into the dining room that sits just off the kitchen. When we enter the room, Gavin and Decklan are already at the table having a casual conversation with Paxton who must have just arrived. I smile when he nods in my direction, setting the pitcher of tea in the center of the table.

Before I can even turn, I feel Gavin's hand close down around my wrist and tug me sideways. I have no choice but to slide into the chair next to him, hitting him with an annoyed smirk the moment I do.

He raises his eyebrows mischievously, leaning in to rub his nose along my jaw. Paxton groans playfully next to us, turning his attention to Rosie as she enters the room.

"You outdid yourself, Mrs. P." He looks out over the table as Rosie sets a fresh batch of oatmeal cookies in the center of it.

The entire surface is covered with various foods. From grilled turkey club sandwiches and salad to tomato basil soup and croissants, there is a little something to satisfy just about anyone's tastes.

"I know who I'm feeding." She gives Paxton a knowing grin. "I swear you three have been eating me out of house and home for the past fifteen years." She shakes her head, pulling out the chair at the head of the table.

"And yet you keep inviting us back." Decklan laughs, dropping an arm around Kimber's shoulder when she takes a seat next to him.

"What can I say?" Rosie shrugs. "I guess I'm glutton for punishment." She pauses, looking around the table. "Well, what are you all waiting for...? Eat." She gestures to all the food on the table.

Everyone begins helping themselves as conversation flows around the table. Rosie scolds Gavin for missing their monthly spaghetti dinner. Paxton harps on Decklan about when he's going to stop living above the bar and buy a real house, to which Decklan reminds him that he has no room to talk, given that he's living with Gavin.

The bickering and playful banter that floats around me is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I have never met such a different group of people and yet every single one of them fits together to form this beautiful, chaotic mess of a family.

"Everything okay?" Gavin leans in, squeezing my leg gently under the table when he notices I haven't eaten much of my food.

"Yeah." I smile, meeting his incredible blue eyes. "Better than okay." I lay my hand on top of his. "Thank you for bringing me." I keep my voice low as to not pull attention from the other conversations happening around us.

"Thank you for coming." He gives me a half smile that instantly causes my heart to plummet into the bottom of my stomach.

I don't think I will ever get used to how intensely this man affects me.

"Gavin, have you spoken to that sister of yours?" Rosie interrupts the moment, pulling her son's attention to her.

"Which one?" he asks, reaching across the table to retrieve a cookie, taking a large bite the moment it reaches his lips.

"Charlie," she answers like it should be obvious.

"Doesn't she live here?" Gavin asks, taking another bite of his cookie, reminding me more of a young boy than the strong, powerful man I know he is.

"Don't answer my question with another question. You know how much I hate that," she scolds, wagging her finger at him as she reaches for her gla.s.s of tea.

"I haven't seen her." He shrugs, finishing off his cookie in one more large bite. "Why do you ask?"

"Well she was out all night with friends last night but she said she'd be here for lunch. I wasn't sure if maybe you had spoken to her."

The sound of chair legs sc.r.a.ping against the floor pulls my attention to the opposite end of the table just in time to see Paxton stand, grabbing his plate from the table.

"That girl changes her mind on a dime." Gavin shrugs, paying no mind to Paxton as he exits into the kitchen without looking at anyone.

I glance around the table, curious as to how the person who knows him the least seems to be the only one who picks up on the fact that something is off with him. I suspected there was something between Paxton and Charlie the first time I was around them, and seeing his reaction when Rosie said she stayed out all night with friends, only further solidifies that I was right to come to that a.s.sumption. Though it would appear that I'm alone in this revelation, considering no one has even reacted to his sudden departure from the table.

"Is she enrolling at the University this spring?" Kimber redirects the conversation slightly.

"She's still undecided." Rosie wipes her mouth on her napkin before dropping it onto the empty plate in front of her. "Honestly, I'm just glad she's home. Having my baby all the way across the country was harder than I thought it would be. Now that all my children are back in the same state, I feel like I can breathe again."

Just like that the conversation shifts in another direction, Rosie turning her attention to Kimber as she asks about how she's enjoying the semester. I swear I have never been around a group of people that can fill the silence with so many different topics in the matter of one meal.

Paxton reappears after a few minutes. He rejoins the table, his expression giving nothing away about where he went or why he left so abruptly. Like he never left at all, he joins in the conversation without skipping a beat.

I don't so much partic.i.p.ate as much as I just sit back and listen, watching everyone. I'm still trying to figure out where I fit into this group and if I even belong at all. I jump slightly when my phone springs to life in my back pocket, the sound of high pitch chiming filling the room. I thought I had put it on silent.

"Sorry," I say, scrambling to get it out of my pocket so I can silence it.

I fumble with the b.u.t.ton, finally shutting the ringer off. It isn't until then that I even pay attention to the name flashing across the screen.

Bryan.

I immediately flip my gaze to Gavin who is looking directly at me. I suck in a ragged inhale, panic flooding my insides when I realize that not only did he see who was calling my phone, but he also seems to know exactly what that means...

Chapter Eighteen.

Gavin It takes everything I have to get through the remainder of lunch without losing my s.h.i.t. Why the f.u.c.k would that a.s.shat be calling her phone? And why the f.u.c.k did she look like she saw a ghost when she realized I had seen it was him calling?

I have trouble focusing on the road as I weave in and out of the late afternoon traffic headed back toward the university. Harlee sits completely silent next to me, staring out the window.

I open my mouth to say something several times on the ten-minute drive back to her dorm, but I want to be able to look at her when she tells me what I know is coming. I'm not a f.u.c.king idiot; if Bryan calling didn't give it away, her reaction sure as s.h.i.t did.

"Gavin, I..." Harlee stumbles out as I pull into the parking lot just a few yards from her dorm building.

"You what?" I ask, shoving the truck into park before killing the engine. "What, Harlee?" I push when she makes no attempt to finish her sentence.

She unlatches her seatbelt and turns toward me, pulling her left leg underneath her on the seat as she does. She holds my gaze for a long moment, clearly not sure where she should start.

"Speak." My annoyance is clear in my voice and I don't miss the way her eyes widen slightly at my dog-like command.

I hate how frustrated I feel. It guts me honestly; to feel the way I feel about her and now to have those feelings obscured by anger. On one hand, I want to pull her into my lap and forget that she lied to me about ending things with Bryan. On the other, I know if I don't hear the truth directly from her, I won't be able to let this go.

"You have to understand, I tried..." she starts, her words falling away when a vicious laugh rips from my chest.

"Let me guess. You tried to break things off with him, but you just couldn't do it." I mimic her demeanor. "Why don't you try a different angle because that sob bulls.h.i.t might work on some men," I say, my referral to Bryan very clear. "But it doesn't f.u.c.king fly with me."

"Oh my G.o.d, would you stop?" Harlee finally seems to find her voice, her arms crossing in front of her chest as she straightens her posture. "Seriously, you're acting like a f.u.c.king child," she snaps, narrowing her eyes at me.

"That's rich." I let out a frustrated sigh, running my hands through my hair.

"Just let me explain," she continues as if I said nothing at all.

"Explain what exactly?" I c.o.c.k my head to the side to study her. "Explain how you flat out lied to me when I asked you if you had ended things with Bryan?"

"I didn't lie," she insists. "Things are over with Bryan. I just... I just haven't exactly told him that yet."

"You're un-f.u.c.king-believable you know that?" I cut in before she can continue.

"I'm trying to make you understand," she tries again.

"Please, by all means, try to make me understand." I roll my eyes, already over this entire f.u.c.king situation.

"I met Bryan for dinner on Tuesday," she starts, ignoring the look of pure rage that takes over my face. "I only agreed because I wanted to end things face to face," she quickly adds. "But when I got to the restaurant, I just couldn't do it." She hits me with an apologetic look.