"Fuck," Shane says, afflicted, running his hand back through his hair, "I don't want to do it this way, I have to. I promise I will tell you everything. I just need a little time to sort it all out first."

"Time?" I snap, "Time? Eight years wasn't enough? You decided to come back, fuck up my life some more, then maybe wait another decade or so to tell my why? Sounds fucking perfect."

Shane walks around the counter and stops only a couple of feet from where I'm standing. I automatically back up to the counter behind me. It's becoming very difficult to hold back my tears.

"That's not my intention. Please, I'm begging you, I will explain. Let's just get to know each other a little bit in the mean time. I have no intention of hurting you again - ever." Shane takes another step closer. He looks like he's trying to approach a rabid dog. Probably a good idea on his part. I'm feeling like I could attack at any moment.

"It was never my intention to hurt you. What happened was for the best and if I didn't leave then..." he trails off.

Seeing the pain in his eyes, my heart hurts for him. I shouldn't care - but I do. He had a choice to stay or go. He chose to leave me. I don't know why I feel bad for him - he got to move on.

"So what are you doing back here now?" I ask in a calmer voice. I'm not agreeing to what he wants, but I still want to know.

"Making things right. I've been lucky to have so much success. I want to pay it forward."

"That's a noble gesture. It's very thoughtful of you," I tell him honestly, "but you didn't have to get involved with me - or my boyfriend. You could have just left us out of it - donated your community center and gone about your business."

"Beth, my life changed when I met Tommy. I inherited a brother, a loving family, and the one true love of my life. I wouldn't be where I am today without you - because of you."

"Well, you have a shitty way of showing it," I reply. I don't know what else to say. I want to keep hating him, but he's making it very hard right now.

"I'm telling you, it will all make sense soon enough," Shane says, taking another step toward me. I want to back up, but I'm already up against the counter.

"How do I know I can trust you?" I ask.

"You don't. You just have to listen to your heart."

He takes a final step toward me. I inhale a deep breath. He's too close.

Shane takes my hand in both of his and holds it, "Beth, I swear I am not going to hurt you. I'm going to protect you. Everything will make sense," he stops talking until I look up into his eyes, "I promise."

I can't hold the tears back anymore. I'm ashamed that I'm crying. I feel weak and defeated.

Shane uses the back of his hand to wipe the tears from my cheek.

"Please don't cry. I don't want you to hurt anymore."

Shane wraps his arms around me and pulls my body close to his. I begin to really sob now. He pets the top of my head, trying to calm me. The sensation of his body around mine is so comforting. I feel like I'm where I belong.

I feel Shane's lips on top of my head, gently trying to soothe me. I tilt my head up and look at him. He seems to hesitate, then kisses me gently on the forehead, still stroking my hair.

I don't know if it's nostalgia, old feelings resurfacing, or just how 'right' I feel for the first time in forever, but something takes over me. Before I have time to think about what's happening, I grasp Shane's shoulders and kiss him - hard. I press my lips into his and immediately want more. I move my hands up to the back of his head and pull him closer into me. My tongue slips into his mouth and he hugs me tighter.

We are grasping at each other, trying to get closer, ravenous for more. Shane's tongue moves expertly with mine, his lips warm and wet as they surround my mouth.

I'm lost in emotion and passion, I don't think about what I'm doing. It feels so right, but it is wrong on so many levels. Something brings me back to my senses and I bring our kiss to a halt, lowering my arms to my sides.

Shane doesn't release his arms from around me. He kisses me softly on the head once again.

"This is wrong," I say quietly, "this is bad."

"I'm sorry," Shane replies.

"Are you though?" I ask.

"No. Not really," he admits, "I want more."

I don't respond. I want more too but that's ridiculous. I don't know him - not the person he is now. I don't know if I can trust him. I also have a boyfriend. Fuck.

"Chad," I say under my breath, "I'm a terrible person."

"No. You're beautiful and amazing," Shane says. He's still holding me and I'm not making any attempt to stop him, "he doesn't know how lucky he is."

"He does," I snap back, straightening up, "he's so good to me and I just shit all over him. See, you are screwing up my life again," I say with a hint of anger back in my voice.

"Well, then, I won't let this happen again. We can just try to get to know each other again - as friends."

Yeah, right. That's not going to be possible. I came here today, guns a blazing, then made out with a man who I thought I would hate forever. I feel like a terrible person. Even more so because I really didn't want to stop.

"We can try - I guess," I reply, "I don't have much choice if you're going to be in town and possibly work with my boyfriend. Speaking of which, can you not?"

"Can I not?" Shane repeats.

"Yeah. Whatever it is, just don't get involved. Having you both work together will be extremely weird. Especially since he doesn't know we knew each other before...and now," I wave my hand around, "this."

"How about you let me hear him out? It may be something worth doing and we may not have to personally deal with each other that much."

"That is kind of selfish of me to ask," I admit, "but I still don't know what your motives are or if I can trust you."

"You can trust me, Beth."

"I don't know," who am I to talk? I just cheated on my boyfriend. "Just -please, let's keep this meeting to ourselves. Let's forget that kiss ever happened. It was a mistake. I was caught in the heat of the moment."

"I won't breath a word of it, but it was no mistake," Shane says, "we're meant to be, baby, I know that for sure now. I know you felt it too."

I did feel it - but I can't let myself - that would be crazy. I have Chad. I love him. I trust him. Shane had his chance already, he blew it.

"Baby? Really?"

"Sorry, old habit. I was caught in the moment," Shane apologizes with a smile. He doesn't seem very sorry. "Look, I'm going to keep my meeting with Chad and hear what he has to say. If it's something that's going to bother you, we can decide what to do then."

Shane says in a business-like manner, "sounds fair," I agree.

"So for now, can we try and be friends?" he asks, taking my hand in his again and twirling his fingers with mine.

I look down at our hands, "that's a little too friendly."

He let's go, "sorry."

"We can try and be friends as long as you keep your hands to yourself." I hope I can do the same.

"I will do my best," Shane promises, holding up his right hand, "scouts' honor."

"You were never a Boy Scout," I smile.

"I know," he winks. I roll my eyes.

"Okay. Seriously, Beth, just friends. Whatever it takes to have you in my life."

"Fine," I resign. I don't know what good will come of us being friends, but I'm willing to try. "I have to get going for now," I say, noticing the time.

"When will I see you again?"

"I don't know. It's complicated," I sneer at him, throwing his own words back at him.

"Ouch," Shane tries to look offended, "that's fair. How about dinner this week?"

"How about lunch?" I reply. I feel safer at lunch - in a public place, in the daylight.

"Sounds perfect. Can I make one request?"

"I guess so."

"Can you wear those heels again? I never imagined you dressing like this all the time. It's pretty fucking hot."

"Seriously? Don't make me change my mind." I look annoyed, but I get a little aroused hearing him say that - just a little.

"Just making a friendly suggestion."

"Well don't."

Shane holds both hands up in a submissive gesture and smiles, "sorry. Last time - I promise."

"You made a lot of promises today," I comment as I pick up my bag.

"And I will keep every one - promise."

"Come on, let's go."

The two of us walk outside and I place the lock box back on the door while he waits. We look so innocent - like a realtor and her client. No one would ever guess that two lives were just completely altered - although I'm not sure if it's for better or worse at this point.

We share another awkward moment leaving, and silently decide on a handshake. It doesn't matter, our bodies touching in any capacity ignites my desire. Friends. Okay, great. This should be a piece of cake.

Shane

I need to clear the air. I have to lay everything out on the table so I can move on - so we all can.

I have less than an hour before Chad gets here for our meeting. I can't wait to spend some time alone with this douschebag. I won't throw Beth under the bus, of course, but I hope he gives me something I'll be able to use against him at some point.

I dress in one of my best suits. I know the way guys like this think and I want to look like someone he can relate to. I want Chad to feel like we're 'boys'. Maybe that way, he'll be more comfortable opening up to me. I wonder how he would feel if he knew I wanted to steal his girlfriend. It kind of makes me look like the bad guy - I'm not. I love her and I know I care more about her than any man can. Hopefully it won't take long to prove that.

Kissing Beth the other day was fucking incredible. I wanted to prop her up on that counter and fuck her so hard right then and there - I could have - but I'm glad I didn't. She would have hated herself - and me. That kiss was all we needed. For now, anyway.

We didn't get very far in the way of explaining and understanding, but I definitely broke through another layer - maybe even a few. She wants me. She can't hide how she feels no matter how hard she tries. She can deny it, but in the end, Beth will be mine. I know that for sure.

For now, I'll settle for being friends. It's better than nothing. I'm looking at the big picture - the one where Beth and I live happily ever after. I've pictured it enough times and now I know it's going to be real.

Chad can't be as great as she thinks. I'm sure he's going to fuck up and when he does, I will be there to pick up the pieces of Beth's broken heart. I have a gut feeling about him. If he's as much of a scumbag in business as I hear, he can't be so wholesome in his private life. Time will tell - and I've got nothing but time. I've waited eight years already. I'm not going anywhere.

It's been so hard not to call or even text Beth the last few days. Once I get this meeting over with Chad, at least I'll have a reason to reach out to her. That's if she doesn't contact me first.

I ride the elevator down to the main floor. I've been here long enough that I know my way around and recognize most of the staff. I walk through the lobby and down a hall to the hotel's restaurant. They have a few on site - but I reserved a table at the steak house.

I check the time and let the hostess know I'm here. I'm about ten minutes early but I notice Chad walking toward me from the lobby. Game on.

"Hey, Chad. Thanks for coming out to meet me here," I greet him with a friendly smile and firm handshake.

"Thanks for inviting me," Chad replies, matching my grip.

The hostess walks us to the table. I notice Chad watching her ass as we follow her. I don't blame him, but I'm judging his every move right now. We take a seat and she hands us the menus. We both thank her. Chad winks at her. Strike one.

"So, nice place," Chad comments as he looks around, "I think I've been here before, but they all start to look the same after a while."

"They treat me well here. I guess you travel a lot?"

"I try to. I work a lot, as you can imagine, but I like to have fun too. Sometimes I go away, sometimes I just spend the night."

Spend the night? Maybe he means short business trips. I have to stop trying so hard to find faults in this guy. Just because I want him to be bad news, doesn't mean he is.

The waiter approaches the table and takes our drink order. Scotch on the rocks for Chad. Tough guy.

"Are you ready to order?" the waiter asks.

Chad and I look at each other, "I'm ready if you are," I say.

"I am. I'll have the filet," he tells the server. "You're treating, right?" he jokes, looking at me.

"I'll have the same."

We make some small talk while we enjoy our drinks. Chad still hasn't mentioned Beth. If he doesn't, at some point, I will. Before our entrees arrive, Chad orders another drink. I hope he's a lightweight. The more he drinks, the better my chance of getting some dirt on him. I just have to keep him talking.