"No way that's true," Tim comments.

"That's what I said. Just ignore it," Kelly chimes in.

"Easier said than done," I say, "I'm really not cut out for such a public relationship. This is crazy. I have to get ready for work. I don't have time for this." I start walking to my room.

Who am I kidding? I may not have time for it, but I'm not going to be able to stop thinking about it. How am I going to teach all day? Especially if anyone saw this post - which I'm sure they did. I am not cut out to deal with this kind of attention.

I get out of the shower and there is a text from Jax: "Hope you're feeling better today."

"I am, thanks."

"I'm coming by later. We have to talk."

"Okay."

What else can I say to that? Everyone knows what it means when someone says 'we have to talk'. It's never good news.

Oh my God. It's true. Nadia got her slimy hands on him. She worked him and they both played me for the fool. He had to have seen the photo this morning. He knows I know - or that I will find out at some point today.

I don't have time to think about it. I have to get ready for work. I have a full day of teaching new material ahead of me. I can't think about Jax or let my feelings get in the way of my job.

I spend the first fear periods lecturing and writing notes on the board. I'm here, but not completely. I'm focussed, but operating more on auto pilot. I slump at my desk when lunch time rolls around. I pick at my food and read some articles on my computer, trying to keep my mind occupied. It's half working, but my thoughts still drift to Jax.

Every time someone looks at me, teacher or student, I immediately think they are pitying me. I assume they've seen the photo and think I'm just another dumb girl who got played by a player. I try to pretend everything is okay. I don't know if anyone's buying it, but I can't leave, so I don't have any other choice.

When the final bell rings, I'm relieved. Jax has practice with the high school team after school. From his text message, I wasn't sure if he was planning on coming by my classroom or my house, but I didn't ask to clarify. I busy myself and wait expectantly for him to walk through my door. He doesn't.

I go home disappointed and worried. I shouldn't have anything to be concerned about. Nothing happened that would give Jax a reason to break up with me. Unless - Nadia. If she said or did anything to Jax, I will kill her. Okay, I won't actually kill her, but I'll be really pissed.

A million thoughts race through my head. I invent scenario after scenario about all of the different things I could have done wrong. I have nothing. I did nothing. If Jax has anything bad to say, it's not because I provoked him.

I have to stop this train of thought. It's silly and childish and unhealthy. I can make it through the next couple of hours without doubting myself and my relationship. Besides, wasn't it me who wanted to do the talking?

There's a knock on my door around six. I jump and run to open it - then slow myself down. I may have been waiting for Jax to get here, but he doesn't need to know that. Fuck it, I don't care. I open the door.

Jax is standing there, looking handsome as ever. He's wearing a Rattlers tee shirt and gym pants. I glance down, knowing well enough by now that the loose fabric will give me a nice view of what's underneath. I just as quickly draw my eyes back up to his face. This is not the time for stealing looks of his generous package. Focus, Syd.

I step aside to give him room to walk in, "hey, Jax."

"Hey, babe." Jax smiles and kisses me before walking passed. I don't kiss him back. He looks a little confused, but doesn't say anything.

What the hell? Did I get all worked up over nothing? No. I didn't. The evidence is right there for everyone to see. It's like he knows I have the right to be mad and doesn't care.

I follow him to the living room. "So, what did you want to talk about?" I ask, leaning against the back of the couch.

"Right down to business, Ms. Hayes. Okay," Jax replies. He seems a little nervous - just a little. It's still so unlike him.

"Why wait?" I smirk. I'm not trying to be snide, it's more of a protective gesture.

Jax takes a seat at the dining table across from the couch and faces me. "What's up?"

I look at him, confused, "what?"

"Talk to me, Syd, what's up? Why were you acting so strange last night? I'm not a doctor, but I don't think you were really feeling sick."

My body relaxes, some of the tension relieved. He's worried about last night, not today. I feel a little better - but not completely. "

"What?" Jax asks, "why are you looking at me like that?"

"All day, I've been worried about what you had to talk about."

"What could you possibly have to be worried about?" Jax lowers his head, "oh, the photo."

"The photo was just the icing on the cake."

Jax looks confused. He has no idea what I'm talking about. Not that I thought he would.

I can't hold back. I lose my cool and everything comes pouring from my mouth. "Your friend, Nadia," I begin. I exaggerate her name by using air quotes around the word 'friend'. Jax leans back, not clear on where I'm going with this. "had a lot to say to me last night. She explained how you are using me to help your image - just like she instructed you to do. She told me how you were sent to Mesquite to clean up your image. She said that's why you are coaching the football team and that's why you're dating me. She made me feel like a piece of shit. Then I talked myself into believing she was full of shit. That she was only trying to make me feel bad. I convinced myself that you would never do that - then," I pause, trying to find the right words, my heart aching when I think of the picture of them, "then I see that stupid picture of you two from last night. She has her claws on you. It looks like you two are about to kiss or... I don't know. It just doesn't look good. And now I feel like an asshole because I know the whole world is laughing at me."

Hearing the last part, Jax jumps to his feet. He's never seen me upset like this and I think he's scared. Honestly, I've never seen me]yself this upset before. Jax puts his hands on my shoulders like he wants to hold me, but he knows it's not the right time.

"Syd, you can't believe any of this. You know me."

"I don't know, do I?"

"You do." Jax runs his hands back through his hair in frustration, "Nadia is crazy. The whole world is not laughing at you. If they are - they're crazy too."

"I don't care what the world thinks anyway. I care about how I feel and right now, I feel like an asshole."

"You shouldn't. You have no reason to."

"So none of it is true?" I challenge him, "She is your image consultant and all. She made it sound like she put you up to all of it. You know, before she seduced you."

"I'm my own man, Syd. You should know that by now."

"So it's not true?"

Jax steps closer to me, "She set up the coaching gig at Mesquite for me. That part is true."

I was hoping he did that part on his own, but I'm not surprised or that disappointed. He's a pro football player - a star - maybe doing something like that on his off season would be more likely but, it could be worse.

He continues, "I didn't want to do it at first. I thought it would be a bother - working with a bunch of high school kids - but it became more than that. Once I made that bet with you and started tutoring Mikey, I really started to care. The team began looking up to me, his grades went up, then more of them wanted my help off the field - with school, and girls. I really enjoy it. I enjoy helping them and love that they look up to me as a role model."

I smile, "that's sweet." I stare up at his face. He looks totally serious and lost in thought. "What about me - us?" I ask softly.

Jax takes my hands in his, "do you even have to question that?" he asks. He sounds genuinely hurt.

"Yes. I do. You have no idea what kind of scenarios I created in my head. It's not like it's that hard to imagine. It was right there for me and the rest of the world to see this morning. You weren't here last night. Maybe I'm as dumb as everyone thinks I am."

"No one thinks you're dumb. No one that counts anyway."

"I just hate having everything between us so public. It makes things so much more complicated. It's like everyone is rooting for you to fuck up even if it means my heart gets broken in the process."

Jax looks broken. He may be able to fix things with Nadia, but being in the public eye is a part of his life he has no control over.

"Syd. I don't know what to say. You know how I feel about you. I would never let anyone come between us. You have to believe me. All I have is my word. Unless you want to ask Nadia."

I roll my eyes, "no. I don't want to ask her anything. I don't even want her knowing I'm upset." Tears roll down my face. I can't stop them. I feel so betrayed. Jax wipes them away with the back of his hand.

I blurt out, "Why shouldn't I believe what I'm seeing and hearing. You were never into one girl. Why me? Why now?"

"Why not you, Syd?" he asks, seriously.

"I don't know. You aren't known to be a one woman kind of guy."

He looks at me with big eyes, "True. I never have been. Not in the past, but I never had any reason or desire to be. You're just different."

I roll my eyes.

"Don't underestimate yourself, Syd. Everything about you is amazing and special. You make me feel things I've never felt before - ever. I feel like a better person when I'm with you. I thought you felt it too. How could you question that?"

I shrug, "sometimes a girl needs reassurance," I add with a coy grin.

Holding my hands in his, Jax takes one step closer. He leans down so we are face to face and looks into my eyes, "I love you, Sydney. Everything about you. Nothing is going to change that."

"You love me?"

"I do. I love you."

"I love you too, Jax."

"Are you sure, or are you just saying that so I don't feel bad?" he asks, trying to lighten the tension.

"How could you even ask that?" I reply, mocking his playful tone.

"Sometimes a guy just needs reassurance." Jax's signature crooked smile forms on his lips.

He leans in and places his lips on mine. We kiss softly, thinking about the words that were just spoken. He loves me. I smile to myself and he kisses me again. I slip my tongue between his lips and our kiss deepens. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me in closer. Our kiss is passionate and full of the love we just made so much more real by saying it out loud.

Jax presses his lips to mine once again, then backs up slightly.

"You know, I've never said 'I love you' to anyone before."

"I must be special," I kid.

"You are," he says, kissing my lips once more, "plus, you body is bangin'."

I laugh, "so that's why you really love me."

"Sure is, sweet tits," he laughs.

He wraps me in a bear hug, holding me tightly against him. I hug him back just as tight.

I love the way we can go from a serious conversation to a light hearted joke. I love how real and honest Jax can be. I love that I can be myself around him - that I don't have to be afraid to speak what's on my mind. I simply just love him.

Jax's touch and kiss - and his words - sidetracked my train of thought for the moment, but the warm, loving feeling is overcome by fear and doubt again.

"What?" Jax asks, noting the change in my face.

I take a small step back and look up at him, "I love you, Jax, I really do. It's just, I don't know."

"You don't know what?" he asks, offended.

"I don't know if I can lead the kind of life you live. I don't want to be in the public eye. I don't like the feeling of having people watch our every move. I don't want to have to worry all the time that someone is waiting to manipulate their way into your life and take my place."

"That's ridiculous, Syd."

"Is it?"

"Yeah - it is."

"Well, I don't think it is. I want my simple, private life back. I don't know if it's possible to have that with you."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that this experience has really opened my eyes for what is to come if we stay together."

"So, you're breaking up with me?" The sweet, loving feeling we just shared has clearly passed.

"I don't know." I really don't know.

"Syd..." Jax is at a loss for words.

"I just need some time to think things over. If we're really going to do this, Jax, I need to be sure."

"But, I love you - and you love me - or was that bullshit?" Jax is pissed.

"I do love you. I do."

"You have a shitty way of showing it."

"What if there is some truth to what Nadia said? What if once you're done laying low in this small town, you decide I don't fit in to your life anymore?" Tears are streaming down my face.

"What the fuck, Syd? Where is all this doubt coming from?"

"I don't know. Nadia put thoughts in my head and I can't just let them go. Then, I started thinking about more things. Maybe we're just not meant to be together." I can't believe the words that are coming from my own mouth, "I just don't know if love is enough."

Jax stares at me open mouthed, "let me know when you're done thinking about things." He quickly walks to the front door.