Did It Show?

I mean I'd thought about the monster dreamed about the monster l.u.s.ted for the monster regretted knowing the monster but I hadn't touched the monster in over a month.

Hadn't even seen it.

Thought I might be over it.

Was it still alive in me?

Could it still have such a solid hold on me?

We Drove Down by the River

parked beneath towering cottonwoods.

Strange, how intensely desire builds when the monster waits at the far end of a drive.

On the way I learned, for a bad boy Chase was incredibly smart. Webster would envy his vocabulary, he was up on current events, could quote Keats: Give me women, wine, and snuff Until I cry out hold, enough!

You may do so sans objection Till the day of resurrection; for Bless my beard they aye shall be My beloved Trinity.

No mirrors, no blades, Chase reached deep inside a pocket, withdrew an amber bottle with a tiny spoon attached to the lid. He set it on his knee.

Hey, you're shaking. You're not scared, are you? We don't have to do this, do anything at all. We can just sit and talk if you want.

"I'm not afraid, Chase." Not of him.

Not with him. In fact, I felt quite safe.

It was monster desire that made me tremble. Chase noticed.

Take it easy with this stuff, Bree.

It brings even good people to their knees. Don't get me wrong. I like it, too. Just keep cool.

One Spoon

I was cool.

Two, I was too cool. Three, sub-Arctic. Four, my mouth hit monster mode.

Chase could barely keep up. We talked about: Good girls Bad boys Smothering moms Indifferent moms Disappointing fathers Obnoxious fathers Stepfathers-one Stepfathers-three Annoying little brothers Brothers with very big footsteps Summer trips Boring summers at home Junior years Senior years Early graduation College boards Cheerleaders Football players Artists Poets Tattoos Piercings Ex-boyfriends Ex-girlfriends Dreams Doubts Punishments Loneliness Old friends New friends Gay friends Lost friends Desire Addiction The monster More monster Kristina Bree

I Had to Explain

about Bree/me; by then, he had already asked to kiss me, and I let him because I really wanted him to, and it wasn't my first kiss nothing like that one, in fact, maybe it wasn't even my best kiss but it was pretty fine, and the fact that he had asked will forever make that kiss stand out in my mind, touch my heart, make me remember a kiss so tender it made me cry.

He held me then, smoothed my hair and I asked him to kiss me again and he did, over and over, until I thought we might melt together, fused by kisses.

In That Quite Hot Moment

a park ranger cruised by, took a good, long look.

Maybe we'd better go.

"I should get back anyway.

My mom will wonder if I don't spend enough of her money."

Ha, ha. I can always help.

As we drove away, he pulled me close, rested his hand on my knee, shifted between my legs.

Can I see you again?

"Any time, Chase." Any time.

How weird was that? A few months back I would have said no way.

Soon?

As soon as I could break away from Mom's watchful eye. Chase sure wasn't her type. Was he really mine?

I like you, Kristina.

"I like you, too." I did. He was nothing like I had imagined.

He was bright, intuitive.

Or do I like Bree?

Even if he did ask hard questions.

Jetting on the monster in spectacular fashion, I didn't know how to answer.

Doesn't matter. What's in a name?

That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.

Chase Wagner and Bill Shakespeare.

Talk about your strange bedfellows.

I was in line for that menage a trois.

Chase Wanted to Walk Around the Mall

with me, but I knew I wouldn't get much shopping done if I went on a kissing spree. A word of advice: Never shop on crank.

Your brain moves beyond the speed of light as you wander through a familiar store. First, you can't find Juniors.

Once you finally do, you need the restroom first, then you get all turned around again.

Then, you can barely take it all in. Sizes. Styles.

Colors. Trends.

Everything looks great on those goofy mannequins, so it's got to look better on you, right? You grab an armful, stumble to a dressing room, try on all those darling clothes and nothing you like fits. So you leave silk and velour and suede behind, settle for two identical pairs of jeans.

Then you hustle off to the next store and repeat the process, only this time you leave with a couple of tees exactly like a couple you bought last year.

And when you realize that, you laugh your b.u.t.t off, but really don't want to ha.s.sle with returns or exchanges so you decide to accessorize instead.

A Second Word of Advice

If shopping for clothes on crank is dumb, trolling for jewelry, belts, and shoes is something just this side of insane.

Suspenders?

Don't think so.

Nikes. Vans. Doc Martins.

One of each?

Maybe next time.

Scrunchies. Barrettes. Berets.

Ebb the sable flow?

Uh-uh.

I was stressing over earrings when another hand touched my shoulder.

I thought you were going to call.

Brendan.

Two Guys in One Day?