They say you'll remember your first kiss forever. I will.

It was Fourth of July.

It was Christmas.

Fireworks. Snowflakes.

Sunstroke and frostbite.

It was all that I could ask for and completely unexpected.

I expected demands.

He gifted me with tenderness.

I expected ego.

He let me experiment.

I expected disrespect.

He called me beautiful.

I expected him to expect perfection.

He taught me all I needed to know.

The Week Flew By

Monday Ducked Lince and made out at the park.

Learned a thing or three.

Tuesday Took in a movie.

Sat in the back row.

Really made out.

Wednesday Had a Slurpee fight.

Kissed the sticky stuff off each other's faces.

Thursday Back to his apartment.

Things got heavy.

Heart-stomping heavy.

Friday b.u.mmed a ride and went skinny-dipping up Red Rock Canyon.

Sat.u.r.day Talked with Dad, wishing I was doing something else with Adam.

Sneaked out after dinner for a smoke and a taste of tongue.

Sunday Met Adam at the bowling alley.

Somehow the Place Looked Different

What had changed?

It was still a run-down bowling alley in a bad part of town.

I had changed.

Somehow I didn't care about other people's obsessions.

I was obsessed.

Somehow I didn't care about public make-out sessions.

I plotted make-out sessions.

Somehow I didn't care about women, stealing other women's boyfriends.

Had I stolen someone's boyfriend?

Somehow I didn't care about back-room parties.

It was my turn. I'd been invited.

Choices, Choices

Life is full of choices We don't always make good ones.

It seems to Kristina you gotta be crazy to open your windows, invite the demons in.

Bree throws rocks at the feeble gla.s.s, laughs.

You Have to Remember

It had been a tempestuous week, snared by emotions rubbing me so raw I hurt at night, alone in the dark.

I finagled my way on this trip to fall back in love with my dad.

Instead I fell for a boy from the wrong side of the tracks, worse, the wrong part of the country! I had come, wanting to want to go home. Now the dark side of Albuquerque looked pretty d.a.m.n good.

So when he asked about getting high, I didn't think, I agreed. We smoked some good California green.

Took three tries to put me in the place he said I should be.

Sleepy. Not "high" at all, but real low. And real slow. Not my idea of a party, except the munchies part. I wanted to meet the monster.

Why go down if you can go up?

We Met at the Bowling Alley

I introduced Adam to my dad. He and Buddy already knew each other.

Small building, you know.

Their networking surprised me.

Not exactly sure why.

Some good green bud around.

Dad seemed to accept that I knew about such things.

Don't worry. She's safe with me.

Someone called for bowling shoes.

Adam and I eased down to the far lane.

Okay, little girl. Ready to party?

I was ready to take a big bite of freedom before my time was up.

You gotta be sure.

Mom expected me home in ten days. Of course, I was sure.

Let's. .h.i.t the back room.

We ducked behind a stack of crates, sat on the floor.

You really never tried this?

Like magic, a mirror and razor blade appeared.

You're gonna love it. You'll see.

I watched him pour powder, yellowish white.

It will take you to heaven.

Used the blade to chop the chunks fine, draw two crooked lines.

Make you want to fly all night.

He held the mirror to my face, handed me a sawed-off straw, Make you want to make love to me.