More'n I've ever seen. I ain't so sure he's not drinkin' before work. Been signs of drugs around too. Pot, mostly. A couple of vials of other shit I didn't want to know nothin' about.

Cord tried to rein in his temper and the underlying fear for his wayward brother. Come clean with me, no bullshit. Is Colt doin' drugs?

I doan know. I jus' know he's a train wreck waitin' to happen and I doan wanna be no place around when he finally goes off the rails.

Cord drained his beer. Too late. He's here.

He alone?

Yeah.

That's surprisin'.

He watched Colt stop at the bar and knock back three shots of something before he carried two beers over to another table.

Think he saw us?

Hell yeah he saw us. I'd avoid me too. Cord stood. Head on home. I'll handle this.

Think I'll stick around.

The second Cord stopped in front of Colt's table Colt said, Look. I know you're pissed off. You've got a right to be, okay? I had a rough fuckin' night. I blacked out. Woke up naked in my bed around four this afternoon, hungover as hell, no idea what happened. Don't know why my cousins couldn't bother to wake me up.

They ain't your mama.

No shit. But it ain't like I haven't done it for them a time or two.

He studied his brother's disheveled appearance. Scraggly hair, bags under his eyes, marks on his neck. Incredibly swollen lips. Didja get punched in the mouth last night? 'Cause it's puffed up like a bee sting.

Colt brushed his hand over his lips and frowned. Not that I recall.

That seems to be the problem, bro. Even if Kane and Kade and even Dag would've been around to wake your drunken ass up, I'd've sent you home.

Why? 'Cause I had a little too much liquid fun last night? It ain't like you didn't do shit like that.

Wrong. I never once blacked out. I never once missed a day of ranch work because of drinkin' and you've missed two this week alone.

I knew you'd be a self-righteous prick about this.

Heavy pause. What the fuck did you just say to me?

You heard me. Colt deigned to look at him. Precious Ky's gone so you've got nothin' else to do 'cept work. Some of us have a life outside of the ranch. Some of us are tryin' damn hard not to end up like you: cold, cruel, a bitter woman-hater, a fuckin' recluse, a workaholic loser with a stash of porn and a sore hand.

Never in all the years that he'd been dealing with his overbearing family had he wanted to kill one of them.

Until tonight. Until now.

Cord grabbed Colt by the shirtfront and hauled Colt across the table. The second he had a free hand he punched Colt in the jaw hard enough Colt's head snapped back. A beer can crashed and rolled off the table, spewing foam everywhere.

He cocked his arm and punched Colt in the mouth, feeling the scrape of his brother's teeth on his bare knuckles. Before Colt's nose met his fist, Colt landed a blow alongside Cord's temple and nearly knocked his head from his neck.

Cord staggered back, taking Colt with him.

They crashed into another table. Bottles shattered and beer splashed on the floor. Shirts ripped, flesh connected with flesh. Grunts, curses and groans of pain were intermingled with more curses, blood and crunching glass.

Kade intervened.

Cord forgot what a big guy Kade was until his younger cousin literally picked him up and set him aside like he was an eighty-pound hay bale, not a two-hundred-pound pissed-off man.

Cord, what the hell is wrong with you?

That cocksucker said some shit that don't fly with me. I called him on it.

Colt laughed. Picked himself up off the floor. Fell back down in a pile.

Cord knew Colt wasn't staggering because he'd thrown such accurate punches. His brother was hammered beyond all reason. Again. In public.

What were they gonna do? How had Colt gotten so hopelessly off track? How in the hell could he help him?

Once Colt made it to a chair, he spit a hunk of bloody saliva on the floor. I ain't apologizin' for nothin', bro. You're a fuckin' prick like Dad and everyone knows it Sympathy vanished and Cord lunged for him and they were rolling around on the floor. Punching. Kicking. Bleeding.

By that time, the bouncers showed up and separated them for good. A crowd gathered. His dad's and his uncle's longtime buddies. The guy who owned the feed store. He hoped his eyes were playing tricks on him and that wasn't the family banker back by the jukebox.

So much for not making a scene. He scanned the crowd and his gaze caught AJ's.

Hers was somber. Not full of pity or some mislaid compassion, but understanding. For the first time he wondered why he'd put up such stupid parameters of no public acknowledgment of their relationship. And like it or not, it was a relationship, a relationship based on sex, but that didn't change the basic definition of it.

Also didn't change the knowledge that he, cold, bitter, woman-hating, reclusive Cord McKay would like nothing better than to walk straight into her arms. Right here, right now, right in front of Toots the bartender, Sam the banker, Bebe the town gossip and everyone else.

Kade took him aside. He's wasted.

Yeah. I noticed.

Says he wants to press assault charges against you.

I ain't surprised.

Toots ain't callin' the sheriff. I'm gonna take him home.

Thanks. Cord knew that wasn't enough, so he repeated it. Thanks, Kade. I really appreciate it.

No problem. But I will tell you that you're gonna hafta come up with a way to deal with him, Cord, and I doan mean with your fists. I lived with the son of a bitch and I'd no idea it'd gotten this bad.

Appears he's been good at hidin' it up until now.

Appears so. But it's out there now. Whole damn town's gonna know about it by tomorrow. I doan envy you tellin' Uncle Carson and Aunt Carolyn 'bout this. I'd call them right away before someone else does. Kade focused on Cord's cheek. Get someone to look at that cut. You're bleedin' pretty good.

Someone. Right. He had no one.

Cord made it to the exit when he smelled her behind him. He slowly turned around and wondered if he looked as pathetic as he felt.

You okay?

No. Sore. Pissed off. Embarrassed.

I figured. You going home?

Yeah. But first I get to wake my folks up and tell 'em their son's a drunk and caused a scene in public. Then I get to call my brothers and my baby sis and tell them the same damn thing. He sighed. What the hell am I gonna do about him?

I don't know. AJ looked right into his eyes. I want to come home with you. No strings. I just really don't think you should be alone tonight.

AJ Would it be so hard to let me take care of you? Just for one night?

Cord stared at her, wishing his hand wasn't bloody so he could touch her sweet face. Wishing he could be a man instead of a shell of one.

Cord?

I'd like that, baby doll. I'd like that a helluva lot more than you could ever know. I'll see you at home.

Chapter Fifteen.

Kade threw Colt in his pickup and he passed out before they hit the outskirts of town. He had that same hollow feeling in his gut he'd seen in Cord's eyes. Poor bastard.

No extra cars were parked at the Boars Nest, just Kane's and Dag's trucks.

Great. He hadn't seen his cousin since he'd inadvertently seen way more of Dag's nocturnal activities that night he'd moved out. If he was lucky, maybe Dag'd be passed out and he wouldn't have to deal with another fucked up situation with one of his cousins.

Colt managed to stumble into the house on his own. Kade still felt some perverse responsibility to make sure his brother was all right. After he checked on Kane and found him snoring in bed, he noticed Dag sat in the darkened living room, drinking cheap whiskey straight from the bottle.

Evenin' cuz.

Evenin' Dag.

You pissed I moved inta your room?

No. Just wondered why you skipped out on your dad.

Dag snorted. He don't need me. He's got his hired hand and Chassie's squeeze, Trevor to whip the West homestead into shape. He saluted with the bottle. Fuckin' place is rundown. None of the damn equipment works, and somehow the old man sees that as my fault. Even when I ain't been around for years.

Maybe that's why he's blamin' you, Dag. He's old. He ain't been able to take care of that place for a long time. Since way before your mama died.

He don't wanna take care of it. He ain't never wanted to be a rancher. He wanted to be a damn mechanic. But rather than stand up to granddad, he knuckled under. And instead of lettin' me pursue my dream of pro rodeo, he done the same damn thing to me.

Dag took another swig. Makin' me quit the circuit to come home to tend to forty lousy cows and two hundred acres. I could hate him for that alone.

You don't mean that.

Dag sighed. I probably don't. It's just I didn't ask for this. Ain't my fault I was born first, the only male. I ain't like you and Cord. I don't wanna spend my life a slave to the land.

Kade bristled. So instead you're just gonna be a drunk? Carryin' on about your glorious past rodeo days? Don't you think there are times Cord and I wanna walk away? Say fuck it and do something easier?

No, I don't. You've both got too much of that goddamn McKay pride my daddy warns me about.

What the fuck does that mean?

Why do you think my dad didn't want his sister your mother to marry a McKay? Because they don't care about no one but themselves. You ain't neighborly. You ain't aware of nothin' that goes on outside the borders of the all important McKay Ranch.

Drunk talk. That ain't true.

It is. You've all got too much pride.

I'd rather have some pride than none like you.

Fuck you too.

Here was the opening he'd been looking for. No thanks. But I didn't know you swung that way until I got an up close and personal view of some of your nighttime activities.

What're you talkin' about?

Don't pretend you don't know.

I don't. I can't remember shit about anything.

You've been drinkin' so much you've been blackin' out?

So?

So, do you ever wake up with a sore mouth, a sore dick and a sore asshole with no clue of how you got it?

A hint of wariness crept into Dag's bloodshot eyes.

I don't care if you're gay, Dag. But if bein' gay and bein' afraid to come out is causin' you to drink too much, you need help on a couple of different levels, cuz.

Me? Gay? I ain't gay. Is this some kinda joke?

Kade shook his head. I came home one night and found you in bed with not one, not two, but three guys. At first I thought you were drugged and I was gonna step in and break it up, but you appeared to be enjoyin' suckin' Max off, while Leroy fucked you in the ass. Didn't catch the name of the guy suckin' you off. Then you mentioned you'd fucked and sucked both the guys before. Multiple times.

Dag's face went ghostly pale.

Like I said, I don't care if you're gay. I do care if you're so drunk you don't know what the hell you're doin'. I do care if you put my brother or our cousins in danger because you're habitually drunk. You are out of control, Dag. Bad.

He swallowed hard several times. You ain't kiddin'? You saw me?