ACT V

SCENE I

(Same as Act IV. Henrich, alone.)

HENRICH. Well, well, here comes grist to my mill; it's the audience hour. Now, you shall see, good people, if a man who had been twenty years in the service could bear himself better than I.--There's some one knocking. Whom do you wish to see, my good men?

(Enter two Lawyers.)

FIRST LAWYER. We should very much like to have the honor of speaking to the burgomaster.

HENRICH. He is not up yet.

FIRST LAWYER. Not up at four in the afternoon?

HENRICH. Oh, he is up, to be sure, but he has gone out.

FIRST LAWYER. But we just met a man at the door who had been talking to him.

HENRICH. He really is in, but he is not well. (Aside.) These fellows are as stupid as cattle, they don't seem to grasp my meaning.

FIRST LAWYER (aside). I perceive, mon frere, that this fellow wants to be oiled; we must slip a gulden into his fist, and then the burgomaster will come fast enough. Listen, my friend! You will not refuse a couple of gulden to drink our healths with?

HENRICH. Oh, no, my dear sirs, I never take anything as a present.

FIRST LAWYER. What shall we do, then, mon frere? Evidently we must go away until another day.

HENRICH (beckons to them). Hey, gentlemen! you are in too much of a hurry. For your sake I will accept the two guldens; otherwise you might think that I was proud and our house would be ill spoken of in consequence.

FIRST LAWYER. Here, comrade! Here are two guldens, if you will accept them; now be good enough to obtain us an audience.

HENRICH. Your most humble servant. For your sake I shall do all I can. The burgomaster is really as sound as a horse, but still he is not well enough to talk with every one. But seeing that it is you, gentlemen, it is another story. If you will be so good as to wait a moment, gentlemen, I will announce you. But there's some one else knocking. Whom do you want to see, my good man?

(Enter a Man.)

MAN (feeling in his breeches pocket). I should like to have the honor of talking with the burgomaster.

HENRICH (aside). This man knows the ropes: he goes right for his pocket. (Aloud.) Yes, sir, he is at home. You may speak to him immediately.

(Henrich reaches out his hand, but the other instead of money merely pulls out his watch.)

MAN. I see it is already four o'clock.

HENRICH. Who was it you wished to see?

MAN. The burgomaster.

HENRICH. He is not at home, sir.

MAN. You just said that he was at home.

HENRICH. Perhaps I did, sir, but if I did, I made a mistake. (Exit Man. Henrich goes on, aside.) Look at that sharper! Now you shall see if the burgomaster is at your beck and call! (To the lawyers.) I shall announce you immediately. [Exit

FIRST LAWYER. Just see how that rascal knows how to fit into his place already. Keep good countenance, mon frere, it is we who shall start the plaguing of the good tinker. Our comrades will complete the tale. But here he comes.

SCENE 2

(Enter Herman and Henrich.)

FIRST LAWYER. From the bottom of our hearts we wish the honorable Burgomaster the greatest success in his high position in our city, and hope that in gentleness, foresight, and vigilance he may not fall behind his predecessors, inasmuch as his Excellency has made his way to this high office not through wealth, family, or friends, but purely by reason of his well-known great virtues, learning, and experience in affairs of state.

HERMAN. Tres humble servitoor!

SECOND LAWYER. Especially do we rejoice that we have now an administration endowed not only with almost G.o.dlike understanding--

HERMAN. I thank G.o.d--

SECOND LAWYER.--but one who has the reputation of being friendly to all and of making it his greatest delight to hear the people's grievances and to help to right them. I may say that I almost fainted with joy when I first heard the news that the choice had fallen on Burgomaster von Bremen.

HENRICH. You must say "Bremenfeld," gentlemen.

SECOND LAWYER. I humbly beg your pardon: I should say, "Burgomaster von Bremenfeld." To-day we have come here, in the first place to extend our respectful congratulations; in the second place to consult your Magnificence on a difference that has arisen between our clients, which difference we had both agreed to have judged according to the common law of the land and the statutes. But we subsequently changed our mind and decided, in order to save time and costs, to submit ourselves to your judgment, and we promise to abide by that.

(Herman sits down, leaving the others standing.)

FIRST LAWYER. Our clients are neighbors, but there is running water separating their land. Now it happened that three years ago the water loosened a large piece of earth from my client's estate and deposited it on my opponent's field. Shall he now own it? Is it not stated: Nemo alterius d.a.m.no debet locupletari? Here his client wishes to enrich himself at my client's expense, which aperte conflicts with aequitatem naturalem. Is that not so, Mr.

Burgomaster?

HERMAN. Of course; it is unjust to ask that. You are right, monsieur!

SECOND LAWYER. But does not Justinian say expressly, libro secundo Inst.i.tutionum, t.i.tulo prima, de Alluvione...

HERMAN. What the deuce do I care for what Justinian or Alexander the Great says? They lived a few thousand years, perhaps, before Hamburg was founded. How can they decide in cases which didn't exist in their time?

SECOND LAWYER. I hope, however, that your Honor is not going to reject the laws that all Germany has submitted to.

HERMAN. That was not the way I meant it; you misunderstood me, I only meant to say--(He has a coughing fit.) Kindly continue your case.

SECOND LAWYER. There are the words of Justinian: Quod per alluvionem agro tuo flumen adjecit, jure gentium tibi acquiritur.

HERMAN. Mr. Lawyer, you speak so devilish fast--say that over, more distinctly. (The lawyer repeats the Latin slowly.) Monsieur, you have a devilish bad Latin p.r.o.nunciation. Speak your mother-tongue, and you will do better. I don't say this because I have any prejudice against Latin, for I sometimes sit and talk Latin with my servant for hours at a time. Isn't that so, Henrich?

HENRICH. It is wonderful to hear his Honor talk Latin; I swear the tears come into my eyes when I think of it. It is like listening to peas boiling in a pot, the words come so quickly from his mouth. The devil himself doesn't know how a man can manage to talk so fluently.

But what won't long practice do for you?