"My clients understand I have a small children at home. I think that fact helps put the children at ease during the photo shoots."

And yet, even with all the adjustments, Stacy wouldn't trade her new job for anything.

"I'm really big on the flexibility and freedom of it. Sometimes I work on the weekends. Sometimes I work after five," she says.

Stacy has even developed her product line further. She has started making DVDs that incorporate old super 8 film footage, photos, video, and new footage.

Most women report working harder for themselves than they did when someone else employed them, which means working late at night and early in the morning. When you work for yourself, it doesn't feel like just a job, it's who you are. Many think the success or failure of their venture is a direct reflection of their ident.i.ty, so they do backflips to make things work. Remember, it's okay to fail, work part time, or take a day off. But here's the rub-working with your child nearby is great as long as she's quiet or a nanny is around. Be prepared to add more child-care hours, even if you're working from home. Two-year-olds aren't great with "just a minute," or "not now."

Jennifer knows about hard work. She regularly works twelve-hour days, sometimes more. She still stays late into the night to stock new inventory.

"At least one woman a day comes into the store and says, 'You have the ideal life. I'd love to have my own store.' But I don't think they know what goes into running a business. It's not putting a cute T-shirt on a woman and hanging around talking."

TRANSITIONING TO WORKING YOUR OWN HOURS* Set a schedule for yourself and stick to it.* Set specific and achievable goals on productivity and/or client development, for example, you will call two potential clients a day.* During the times you're working make sure you have child care, at least for the first few weeks.* Join professional organizations to get your fix of adult conversation. You can attend meetings and do online chats.* Dress for work. It may help put you in the right mindset at first.* Don't be too hard on yourself. Recognize this is a change that will take some time to adapt to.

Jennifer has a nanny. She makes a point to have breakfast with her two sons and drive them to school.

"They understand I'm working and I think it's a good role model," she says.

Jennifer has become addicted to the entrepreneurial buzz. She's in the middle of opening a chain of nail salons called Varnish. The idea is to have a mid-priced product with uniform guidelines, including sterilized instruments and consistent time spans for procedures. The salon has cork walls and Jetson-sleek furniture.

Her pa.s.sion still lies in maternity wear, however, and she'd like to license her designs overseas in the next couple years.

"You have to go for it," she says.

RAMPING UP.

Anne Marie plans to ramp up her Rodz Pawz dog biscuit business when her kids start school.

"When all the kids are in school, I'd like to land a national account," she said.

At the moment, she's content to develop contacts, work on her product, and supplement her family's income. She says there are positive things about launching the business on a smaller scale. She has the opportunity to work out the kinks, make mistakes early, and have a longer time to raise money for a big rollout.

"When I introduce a new product, it's good to know the people I'm selling it to. I have a ready-made research group," Anne Marie said.

The research group came in handy when she created a doggy gift basket in the shape of a bone. She bought three hundred baskets, Frisbees, and T-shirts to put in the baskets. She thought the whole package would sell out quickly. It didn't. Within the first couple months she sold thirty.

She cut her losses, didn't order any more, or spend money on promoting it. She has two-hundred-odd baskets in her bas.e.m.e.nt and pulls them out for charity auctions and Christmas gifts.

Tara wants to open her own clothing boutique in a few years when all three of her children are in school. Right now she's building up her retail experience. She rented a booth at an antiques market and sold vintage purses. The experience gave her a better idea of what price points customers felt comfortable with and what types of handbags would sell well without having to invest in huge overhead. She approached a couple other stores about taking clothes she designed as well as vintage items she reconstructed on consignment. They agreed. She has been able to further her knowledge of what sells well at what price as well as build a brand around her name.

Recently Tara took a part-time job at a small independently owned clothing store. She's honing her customer service skills and learning more about what kind of clothing mix she'll need to offer to compete with the big department stores.

"I look at this as a low-cost business degree," she said.

Maria designed and marketed a line of preteen girls' clothing from home, eventually converting her living and dining rooms into a mini-warehouse and shipping center. As her business grew, she enlisted the help of her four children. They earned allowance money labeling and tagging clothes and helping with packing and shipping. Her oldest daughter took orders over the phone and her two sons entertained themselves using the label gun.

"Every one of my children had a little part of the business and they enjoyed it," she said.

When Hayley, a former systems a.n.a.lyst, started her children's clothing business she decided to limit herself to tie-dyed clothes to keep the cost down. She also used her daughter and her daughter's friends as a test market. She invited them over after school and let them play dress up with the clothes, noting which ones they liked.

To keep costs down and her hours manageable, she decided to start selling the clothes through word of mouth and at home parties. She didn't want to invest in a retail s.p.a.ce without a proven seller.

She's made her clothing for three years now and broke even this year. She's looking at several options for expanding the line, which she'll test out in the next year with her daughter and her friends. If they work, she says, they will pay for the rent on a retail location.

WAYS TO KEEP COSTS DOWN* Get family members involved. If they have a skill, like Web site design, guilt them into providing it for free. Then when you make money you can reimburse them.* Get a booth at a local craft or business fair. It's a low cost way to advertise your business.* Keep your batches of products uniform. Perfect one product line before you move on to another. It's cheaper and easier to deal with logistically.* Sell your product on consignment at other stores before you attempt to open your own. You can adjust the product and price point much easier this way.* Always ask advice. Continually pick the brains of business people you admire. You'll get your best ideas that way.

MULTIPLE REVENUE STREAMS.

Another thing to consider when starting your own business are the ancillary ways you can make money.

Sandy, the yoga studio owner, says she makes quite a bit of her money off of sales of bottled water, yoga mats, and T-shirts. Providing customers with simple impulse purchases can make the difference between profitability and losing money. Ever notice that in most Wal-Mart grocery aisles there are bananas? Know why? Because the company figured out that bananas are the number one impulse purchase of its customers.

Another way to increase revenue is to extend your brand. Jennifer, owner of the maternity store Naissance, started selling maternity clothes she designed wholesale to maternity stores across the country. The strategy increased her brand ident.i.ty, made alliances with what others would perceive as compet.i.tors, and gave her inroads and valuable purchasing research regarding other markets if she chose to expand her store.

Danielle owns a public relations firm. She also teaches public relations at a local college, does voice-overs for commercials, and writes copy for commercials.

"I do so many things because then when one thing falls through, it's not the end of the world, there's always something else I can focus my energy on," she said.

Ana, the owner of Ana Brazil, a store selling Brazilian goods and food, employs dozens of revenue-generating techniques. She sells food as well as clothing and jewelry. She leases her store out after hours for business parties. She also provides fax services, prepaid calling cards, and money transfers for Brazilian expatriates.

FAILURE.

Half of all new small businesses with employees fail in four years, according to the U.S. Small Business Administration. Two-thirds of those that fail will survive at least two years. The other third will fail before two years have elapsed. The number of small businesses without employees that survive after four years is significantly higher, but the SBA doesn't have exact numbers. That's good news: It means that if you take it slow, you have a better chance of success.

Emily failed at her first foray into catering. She underpriced her product and overextended herself-making too many promises to cater too many events. In two months she blew through the $2,000 she set aside to start the business. Six months into her foray she was in the red by $4,000. That's when she pulled the plug.

"It was crushing. I knew I made tasty food. I had plenty of customers but I didn't have the organization," Emily said.

After she closed her business, Emily took business courses and did market research. A year later, she tried again. This time she succeeded.

"I made that failure a case study. I looked at it from all the angles. I realized my mistakes and started over again," she said.

Emily upped the price of her food, hired part-time workers during the holidays, planned her time better, and figured out her niche. She noticed that family gatherings and reunions were on the rise. They wanted catered food because they didn't have the time to cook it themselves. But they didn't want just any catered food. When families get together they want comfort food with a twist. So instead of your regular macaroni and cheese, she whips up three-cheese macaroni with caramelized onions. She offers hickory smoked turkey or deep fried turkey with jalapeno cranberry stuffing at Thanksgiving.

"When people are around their mother and father, they get nostalgic for old flavors, but they've outgrown the Velveeta and white bread," she says.

Emily grossed $60,000 in the first six months of 2004.

"I've never experienced a failure as bad as my first business dying. I was depressed for weeks, but I came out of it okay and that's a good thing to learn-I can survive," she says.

Tiffany started a secretarial service from her home only to shut it down after seven months. Why? She wasn't ready to spend as much time away from her six-and eight-year-old boys as the business needed.

"I was in the same house with them but I was working fifty or sixty hours a week. I wasn't helping them with their homework, I didn't know how they were doing in school or what they were watching on television," she says.

Tiffany had a long list of clients and projects that needed to be completed. She made enough money to fund the family vacation and buy a new car in the seven months she worked.

"The money was nice. But I missed my boys. I'm not ready to work full time, even if it's from home."

Tiffany told her clients that she was shutting down the business, fulfilled the orders they had placed, and referred them elsewhere.

"I'd think about trying a business again in a couple of years. But the boys would have to be older and I'd have to limit my clients," she says.

Though the business didn't fit her schedule, she says it's nice to know that when she wants to go back to work, there's a market for her skills.

COMMON MISTAKES.

Incorporating Too Quickly The first step for many people when they launch a business is to file with the state office of incorporation. While incorporating is an appropriate step for many businesses, it pays to wait until your business idea is well formed before taking the plunge. The reason: The concept of your business, and therefore the name, is likely to change during the first few months of operation.

Not Researching the Market A frequently overlooked component of business start-ups is determining whether there is a target market for your product or service. Arrange to speak to as many of your potential customers as possible. Questions should include: Would you buy my product or service? Where do you currently obtain this product or service? How much would you be willing to pay for it? What do you like /dislike about your current provider? Where would you look for this product or service when you need it?

Overusing an Attorney Attorneys' hourly fees add up extremely quickly and their first few legal bills often shock newly minted business owners. The temptation is to involve your attorney in all aspects of your business for counsel and drafting of doc.u.ments. Many business owners quickly learn that it pays to do your own research before contacting an attorney, draft doc.u.ments for your attorney to use or use business doc.u.ment templates, and gather all information before meeting the first time. It'll save money if you do a lot of the legwork.

Spending Too Much Money on Office s.p.a.ce A nice office and great computer equipment make many entrepreneurs feel as though their dream of entrepreneurism is coming true. While one of the pleasures of launching a business is setting up an office that you are proud of, expensive trappings have put many businesses out of business before they got off the ground.

Underestimating the Time the Business Will Take When you start your own business, you work crazy long hours. Sometimes the women we talked to pulled eighty-or one-hundred-hour workweeks. This pace puts a huge strain on the family. The kids miss you. Your husband is exhausted because he's almost a single parent. Your babysitting bills skyrocket. Make sure you plot out your expected work hours before you start your business.

Starting your own business is tricky. A lot of people fail. Most entrepreneurs have a failed business under their belts before they hit on a success. They learned from their mistakes and did it differently the next time around. Don't be discouraged. There's always a next time.

A Final Note

Things are changing. It's inevitable. Decades ago, women fought for and won the right to equal treatment and opportunity in the workplace. Such a dramatic change in the social order of things was bound to sp.a.w.n a few issues, kinks in the system to work out over time.

"The world is waking up to the importance of women staying home with the kids," one former stay-at-home mom who is now back in the workforce told us.

That's true. Experts are acknowledging the important role an available parent has in the development of a child. That doesn't mean that the hands of time are turning back on women in the workplace. The move toward real equality for women at work marches on.

Instead, it means that women will feel increasingly able to move freely between work and home without being professionally punished or made to feel inadequate in some way for doing so. Those of us who make these moves now will be leaders in a new women's movement-one that recognizes the value women have to offer both at work and at home.

Driving the success of this new women's movement is a basic unchanging truth: Men and women are different. It's a simple fact of life that must and should be finally accommodated in the workplace.

As one mom we talked to noted, "It's patently ridiculous to penalize women who have children. It's a fact of life."

Another told us, "It bothers me when women can't admit they're not the same as men. We just need to be ourselves."

So how can we be ourselves and feel successful in all aspects of our lives? One fifty-year-old former stay-at-home mom who now teaches at a university summed things up pretty well: "I think as a woman everything that you want in life you can accomplish. You just have to be patient. If you're patient, you really can have it all."

Resources

CHAPTER TWO. Feathering the Nest.

"Raising a Child Calculator" can be found at www.babycenter.com.

Parents magazine, "Can I Afford to Quit?" magazine, "Can I Afford to Quit?" www.parents.com/quiz/quitjob_0405.jsp.

"How Much Am I Spending?" calculator is located at www.choosetosave.org.

Books for Vetting Baby Gear .

Consumer Reports, Consumer Reports Best Baby Products Consumer Reports Best Baby Products, 8th ed. (Consumer Reports, 2004). Yonkers, NY.

Denise Fields and Alan Fields, Baby Bargains: Secrets to Saving 20 Percent to 50 Percent on Baby Furniture, Equipment, Clothes, Toys, Maternity Wear, and Much, Much More! Baby Bargains: Secrets to Saving 20 Percent to 50 Percent on Baby Furniture, Equipment, Clothes, Toys, Maternity Wear, and Much, Much More!, 6th ed. (Windsor Peak Press, 2005). Boulder, CO.

Vicki Iovine and Peg Rosen, The Girlfriend's Guide to Baby Gear The Girlfriend's Guide to Baby Gear (Perigee Trade, 2003). New York, NY. (Perigee Trade, 2003). New York, NY.

Information on Zipcar is at www.zipcar.com.

Insurance information can be found at www.insure.com.