"How could I not?" Seeing the flash of confusion cross over Ulrich's face, Alex justified his statement. "What self-respecting Tokio Hotel fan doesn't know the lyrics in German?"

Ulrich snickered as he poured orange juice for himself with a splash of cranberry juice, and cranberry juice for Alex with just a splash of orange juice. Alex brought platefuls of eggs and sausage to the table.

The slice of normalcy allowed Alex to put this morning into perspective. The entire bedroom episode was a fluke. It had to be. Best to pretend it didn't happen.

Apparently, Uli didn't get the agenda. He rubbed his hands over Alex's shoulders as he pa.s.sed him to sit. As soon as his b.u.t.t hit the chair, he asked, "So you take cold showers, and you really don't jerk off?"

Blushing at the direct question, Alex tried to answer him but could only get out, "Right."

"Aren't you out of your mind h.o.r.n.y?"

Alex shrugged. What did he know? He'd always had nervous energy ready to burn. His privates ached, but he couldn't force himself to play with his body. Even without his mother ready to beat the c.r.a.p out of him, the guilt at just thinking about touching himself had never been worth it. But after today...

"Do you want sausage?" Alex held up another link, trying to change the subject.

Uli muttered something like, "I might ask you the same thing," but he nodded and accepted the link.

Alex found the way the sausage link slid over Ulrich's lips more erotic than the dirty movie had been. Ignoring that fact, he changed the subject. "So did you finish The DaVinci Code?" Ulrich was reading popular books in English to improve his fluency.

"Apple. Screw you. You could have given me a hint."

Alex chuckled. Ulrich begged him for hints on the riddles within the story, but Alex frustrated him by making him puzzle them out for himself.

Ulrich tried to glare but his eyes sparkled in amus.e.m.e.nt. "After my transition and it's safe for us to travel, we've got to go to Europe. I want to see the Louvre and we should hit Scotland at the same time. I've got see the Pillar!"

A pain stabbed Alex but he forced a smiled. "You definitely should go with Cutter...after you're mated."

Uli blinked at Alex. "Um, yeah. But..." He hesitated. "I want you there too."

Chapter Two.

What the h.e.l.l is wrong with me? The question circled through Uli's head as he wandered the expansive grounds of the Club Zombie estate. Why did he have such strong feelings for Alex? They were just friends.

He'd been here almost a year now. South Carolina was very green and usually much hotter than Ostringen, Germany, but between his cousin Kai and Alex, he'd not had a moment of homesickness.

Alex was terrific. Of course, when he first met his shy apartment-mate, he'd almost swallowed his tongue. He'd never seen such beauty in a man before. Uli had always found the androgynous look s.e.xy. He quickly found out Alex wasn't just a pretty face. The man was smart but not a show-off. He was kind, patient, and never laughed when Uli made linguistic errors. Alex's innocence made Uli want to protect him from others who didn't appreciate him as a person.

He stared at the pond as the male ducks chased interlopers from their mates. Sometimes, that's what he felt like. Everyone seemed to be after Alex for his own selfish reasons. No one seemed to look past his model-like appearance. They seemed to get stuck on his long, dark blond hair and cla.s.sical features that were on the feminine side and never got to his infinitely sweet, innocent soul.

Guilt surfaced. He and Cutter Morgan hadn't even kissed, and they weren't even boyfriends yet. He had left for treatment and cell phones were against the facilities rules so they hadn't even talked in weeks. He knew Cutter was his mate, but Ulrich couldn't stop feeling a loss at not being Alex's. And why the h.e.l.l had he asked for a kiss?

The beautiful boy had quickly become the best friend Uli had ever had, even closer than his cousin Kai. Uli told Alex things he dared not tell anyone else. They had a lot in common. Both enjoyed horror movies, Guitar Hero 5, and the same alternative rock bands. Alex understood him completely.

Maybe they were kindred spirits because they both grew up in abusive households. Back in Germany, Ulrich's father abused him verbally. After the estate's owners, Beau and Lafayette, retrieved Kai from Ostrigen, Uli's father became physically violent too. Pushes and shoves escalated into slaps and smacks. Following the last bout of abuse, the zombies relocated Uli ahead of schedule. If those bruises were the price of freedom, he'd readily pay the fee again.

But poor Alex had suffered much more. Uli didn't realize how deeply Alex's scars ran until this morning. The depth of his mother's insanity was unimaginable, and Alex hadn't had a Kai to counteract the negativity; he'd absorbed it. Uli's cousin had protected him from most of his father's abuse. Alex had had no one.

Uli just wanted to heal Alex and make everything better, but it wasn't his place.

Frustration erupted within his chest. Why couldn't he set aside his desire for his apartment-mate? His affection bordered on disloyalty to Cutter.

Cutter and he had shared an instant bond, and Uli had known right away they belonged together. He'd even seen the pairing with his vision, the psychic sense he sometimes had about what fate would bring. His vision never led him astray.

So his feelings perplexed Uli. Nothing made sense. He shouldn't feel possessiveness for Alex. His need for the man disturbed everything Uli knew to be true. If he focused on his contradictory emotions, his whole world tipped off its axis.

"You okay?"

Kai's familiar voice cut through the chatter in Uli's head. He turned to stare at his cousin. "Oh."

"Sorry, cousin. Didn't mean to scare you. I thought you'd seen me coming."

Forcing lightness he didn't feel, Uli chirped, "Ew! I don't want to see that!"

Kai rolled his eyes and chuckled. "So what's up? Where's Alex?"

Was I that clingy? Uli shrugged and folded his arms.

"You're usually together. You feeling okay?"

Uli shouldn't take out his confusion on his cousin. "No, I'm just... I don't know."

"Did Cutter or that other kid do something?" Kai's tone implied Ulrich's new friends were to blame.

"No! Geez, give the guys some slack. They haven't done anything." Cutter was just about perfect. The one issue he did have, he was working on.

"Yeah, well maybe that Cutter kid is okay, but I don't like his friend. What's his name? Thunder? Raincloud?"

"Storm." A shot of arousal raced through Uli at saying the name out loud. He had to be the worst mate ever. He got hard for not only his best friend, but for his mate's best friend too. What the h.e.l.l was wrong with him?

Kai made a snort of disgust. "It's a stupid name. Storm."

Storm's name sounded as s.e.xy as the man himself. Guilt ate Uli's stomach but he defended his mate's friend. "He's alright once you get to know him."

Everyone thought Storm was an a.s.shole, and truth be told, he could act like one, but Storm was cool. Cutter had shared with Uli all the ways that Storm had his back. For the past couple months, Storm even dropped everything and had taken Cutter to get help for cutting. The irony wasn't lost on any of them; they just chose to ignore how inappropriate his nickname was in deference to Cutler's feelings.

"I haven't seen them around much." Kai pulled out a large packet of duck pellets and tossed a handful into the water. The waterfowl raced to gobble up the offering. Duck mania ensued.

Uli held his hand out, and Kai filled it. He tossed his handful close to the sh.o.r.eline to bring the ducks in. He smiled as the daring ones craned their necks to reach the treats. No risk, no reward.

Kai tossed some food to the ducks too afraid to come to sh.o.r.e. "So why haven't they been hanging around?"

Uli wasn't going to confess Cutter was in a mental health facility to stop his self-injurious behavior. Kai would feel it necessary to lecture Uli on the evils of cutting as if he were at an age where he'd find it cool and give it a try.

Oh spare me.

Cutter wasn't a zombie and Uli hadn't transitioned so he couldn't claim him as a mate-yet. It gutted him to think he couldn't get Cut the help he needed. Cutter's non-existent family situation meant he couldn't afford therapy and refused a.s.sistance. But Storm found a clinic that provided care on a probono basis.

There was no choice of location. The only availability happened to be five hours away. Storm had family in the area. Working for and staying with his uncle allowed him to see Cutter every day.

Kai could b.i.t.c.h all he liked about Storm, but the fact was he always stood by his friends and texted every night after visiting hours to update Uli and Alex. The messages were terse, but the four of them stayed connected.

Uli answered belatedly, "He's been busy."

Hopefully with getting the help Cutter needed to deal with the death of his mom and the financial burden it created, which was left on him. "Cutter will probably start hanging out soon."

In eleven days. Yes, Uli was counting. Cutter would be back to them. Him. Back to him. His mate.

Kai he rolled his eyes, indicating he wasn't thrilled at the prospect. "Will Lighting be back too, then?"

Uli shifted restlessly, not being able to contain his baffling need to see them-both of them. "Storm, and yes, of course he'll be hanging out too. Why do you hate him so much?"

"I don't hate him, I simply don't like his att.i.tude. He acts like..." Kai's words trailed off into a frown. "I don't know, like he owns you, Alex, and Cutter." Kai's need to protect Uli as a child kept him safe, but now that he was an adult it felt overbearing and restrictive.

"Oh, please."

Kai squinted and shook his head. "Haven't you noticed none of you can go anywhere without him checking on you? And he's always checking you out."

"Me?" Uli hated himself for finding the idea appealing.

"And Alex. And Cutter. It's not right. The kid's a s.e.x offender just awaiting his crime."

"Whatever. I've never noticed it." Though now Kai mentioned it, Uli had noticed Storm's possessive nature, and it wasn't just directed at his own best friend. He found the attention hot as h.e.l.l.

Kai tossed more feed to the ducks and dropped the subject. A number of the greedy little guys acted like they weren't fed every day and scrambled around, racing for the food. One duck leaned back and double wing whacked another out of his way in order to get in better position. Thwack. Thwack. Uli and Kai laughed together at their antics. Nothing more was said about Cutter, Storm, or Alex.

Still, they never left Uli's mind.

Ca.s.sidy Frost bounced through the partying crowd to meet Alex and him at the door. He was one of the few guys Uli had met here who seemed totally psyched to be a zombie.

"I'm so glad you dragged him to the party." Ca.s.sidy hugged Uli and then shifted awkwardly to hug Alex. "He never attends birthday parties."

Uli turned away to avoid witnessing Ca.s.sidy and Alex's squeeze. Jealousy licked up his spine at the thought of Ca.s.sidy's hands on his...on Alex. When the clinch ended, he twisted back in time to see Ca.s.sidy adjust what he considered his trademark look.

Black fishnets over tie-dyed stockings encased the man's long legs. The primary colors echoed the rest of his garb: a red T-shirt tucked into the waistband of a matching tie-dyed kilt.

"Do you like my pouch?" Ca.s.sidy held up the leather pocketbook draped around his waist.

"Yeah. Is that a sporran? It looks authentic," Alex yelled loud enough to be heard over the music.

Uli couldn't stop his smile. He hadn't expected an American to know the correct term, but Alex was super smart. "Impressive."

Alex shrugged. "I enjoy reading about different cultures."

"Yeah, I think that's what Beau called it. He brought it back on their last trip to Scotland." Ca.s.sidy grinned. "Though I made the tie-dye kilt."

Uli chuckled. In comparison to all of Ca.s.sidy vivid colors, he felt plain in jeans and his favorite blue silk shirt, but Alex said the color made his eyes pop. Cutter had liked him in all blue, and Storm had wolf-whistled the last time Uli wore the shirt. He'd have to trust them on it.

"Who's the party for again?" Alex asked.

Ca.s.sidy leaned in. "We are celebrating John Weisman's birthday."

Uli glanced around the Roman-themed suite, decked out with white marble walls, colorful mosaic floors depicting various s.e.xual positions two or more men could find pleasure in, several huge beds, and a large walk-in, silver-tiled pool.

"A birthday party, huh? With all the s.e.x, it could pa.s.s as a Roman orgy."

Ca.s.sidy shrugged. "He'll be the dreaded twenty-three at midnight. It's his last night."

f.u.c.k. That had to suck. Zombies completed their transition at twenty-three, and until John found his mate, he'd lose his ability to o.r.g.a.s.m. In the meantime, he'd still need male essence to survive and had to provide satisfaction while receiving none.

Not for the first time, Ulrich was thrilled to have found Cutter already. He needed to figure out how to explain mating to Cutter, but hopefully he'd accept doing the exchange to become a zombie himself. But he couldn't have that conversation until he transitioned. Even Kai, who trusted Ulrich's visions implicitly, advised him to wait until the transition on the off chance he was incorrect. He wasn't.

Cl.u.s.ters of zombies talked and ate, but most were in various stages of undress, foreplay, and s.e.x. One couple engaged in vigorous intercourse on the pool's edge toppled into the water, triggering a splash and much laughter.

Uli returned his attention to Ca.s.sidy, who was twenty-eight. Five years without relief. G.o.d, how could he stand it?

How could Alex? Uli could barely believe Alex's claims. To never allow himself the pleasure of release? A fierce need to rectify Alex's situation swamped Uli.

Alex's gaze was glued to the scene playing out before them. Wanting to break the s.e.xual spell the moment cast, Uli pulled Alex farther into the room to walk behind Ca.s.sidy.

Maybe Ulrich could get Alex comfortable with s.e.x. He could- But he had a mate. Still, when Alex's face pinked, Uli longed to help him.

As usual, when Alex crossed the room everything stopped and the occupants stared. Jaws dropped. It was rude.

"Take a picture, it lasts longer," Ca.s.sidy snapped. As if permission were the only thing needed, several partiers raised their phones. Virtual shutter clicks echoed through the recreated Roman bath.

Alex began to back away. "Maybe I should go." He smoothed his dark pants, which clung to all the right places.

"No. Screw them." Uli winced at the look of horror on Alex's face. Way to put your foot in your mouth. "I mean...don't worry about them."

Ca.s.sidy nodded. "Yeah. Maybe if they see you more, they'll get used to...you know?" The light sparkled off his glittery black nail polish as he gestured up and down at Alex's appearance.

"They should just get the h.e.l.l over themselves," Uli grumbled and tried not to glare. Then he sighed and pushed a few strands of escaped hair from Alex's face. "Stay with me."

Alex nodded and allowed his friends to lead him to the bar.

The sharp scent of alcohol a.s.sailed Uli's nose from meters away. The bartender almost tripped over himself to serve them when they approached the bar. "What can I do for you, Alex? And I will do anything... I mean, I'll make you anything you want."

Ca.s.sidy snickered.

Uli barely restrained himself from slapping the bartender upside the head. a.s.shole.