Finding his voice, Alex deepened it. "I'm mad at me, not you." He stalked across the room, knowing he needed calm before handling Cutter's cutting.

"Yes, sir."

Storm and Uli rushed to comfort Cutter, but Alex stepped in front of them. "No, he's got issues and he needs help dealing with them, but this was pure thoughtlessness on his part. Don't reward him. He was selfish. He wasn't thinking of either of you or me." Alex cupped Storm's and Uli's faces and pressed a soft kiss to each of their mouths. "This is going to be difficult. Take care of each other while I take care of Cutler."

Uli and Storm nodded their agreement, but their indecision showed on their faces. "I got this. Promise." This was everything he prepared for but hoped he'd never have to implement so seriously. He ambled over to the fridge in the corner and concentrated on his breathing.

"Anyone else need water?" After the others shook their heads, he slowly drank the water. He wasn't thirsty, but he concentrated on the cool liquid flowing down his throat. His anger at not recognizing the signs of how Cutter might handle the stress of the evening dissipated.

He touched the face of Uli and finally Storm. He lingered with Storm for a moment because the man leaned into his hand as if admitting his need. Alex smiled briefly.

Alex listened to his boots click on the floor. He was a head taller than Cutter. "Tell me, did the clinic fail completely, or was this a slipup?"

"I don't know." The honest desperation tore at Alex's heart.

"Do you want help?" After an eager nod, Alex explained, "You'll work with a therapist?"

"Um, a..."

Storm burst out, "Do it, Cut."

Uli added a soft "Please. For us."

Alex stopped any further pleas. "No, he can't do this for us. He needs to do it to for himself. Do you want this for you, Cutler?"

"I want to...but sometimes everything feels so big..." Cutter's hair covered his face as his eager nod turned into a shrug of what appeared to be learned helplessness.

Alex tugged the long-sleeved shirt up over both of Cutter's elbows. "Take a good look. You don't deserve this. Do you?"

Cutter stared up at him with tears in his eyes.

"You will not treat our mates like this ever again." No more. "When you can't handle the stress and feel like hurting yourself, come to me. I'll give you what you need."

Cutter shivered, but his eyes heated.

"Eventually, we'll alter your need from wanting to be hurt to wanting to use the pain as a method to fly." Alex circled Cutler once, taking in every part of his distraught mate. "I don't want you hurting yourself. You'll give me that control."

Cutter shifted as he groaned. "Yes, Alex. I want that." He exhaled and transferred his gaze to his other two mates. "I'm sorry."

Uli opened his mouth to say something but Storm kissed him quiet.

"Undress, Cutler. My anger and frustration have subsided. First, you'll get your pain, but I'll take you past your misery to a better place."

"Yes, sir." With trembling hands, Cutter took off everything, folded each piece of clothing carefully, and set them on the chair.

"Very nice, Cutler." His little mate beamed with the praise. "Over to the bench." Alex directed him to a padded bench with a hole cut out.

"Sir?" Cutter asked as he pointed to the flat surface.

"Put your shaft through the opening." He'd gotten more comfortable using non-clinical words to describe male parts, but he still had to work on his terminology. This was not the time to practice or to be unsure. Alex guided Cutter over the bench so he was straddling the leather bed. Cutter lay forward to push his c.o.c.k through the hole as he straightened his legs.

Alex checked on his other mates. Uli and Storm were off to the side watching the proceedings while holding each other's hands.

"This won't be like the birthday spanking." The event seemed so long ago, but barely a day had pa.s.sed. "You'll get far more than twenty-one spanks." Alex meandered over to the cabinet. He opened the door and ran his fingers over each implement in turn. The strength of all the other Doms who'd used this room seemed to cling to the objects of pleasure/pain. After careful consideration, he chose a simple but painful device.

He strutted back over to the bench, allowing his training, study, and hard work to give him the confidence he needed to begin exchanging Cutler's dependence on cutting to other coping mechanisms through therapy and support. Then they would be free to explore BDSM without his self-injurious habit warping the experience into something less than positive. Alex slapped the crop against his own leg, making Uli jump and Cutter wince. Ah, but they'd learn.

"Ready?" Alex asked.

"Yes, sir."

Alex answered Cutter's agreement by the first slap of leather.

"No!" Uli yelled, as if he were being struck.

Inhaling and exhaling slowly, Alex put a hand on Cutter's back. "I'm sorry for the disruption, Cutler." Then he turned toward Uli who was being held back by a resolute Storm. "Uli, honey." Gently he stroked the man's soft cheek. "I must do this. Cutler is desperate for me to tend to him. I need you to let me." Though the blond's teeth were clenched, a slight head nod was given. Alex studied Storm for a moment before directing him. "Storm, please distract Uli pleasantly so I may give Cutler what he needs."

He removed his hand from Cutter's back and traced the single stripe across both b.u.t.t cheeks. Many more needed to be placed before they finished.

"Oh," Uli groaned. Apparently Storm was distracting him properly.

"We shall begin again." Alex raised the crop and bought it down. Cutter hissed, but thrust his a.s.s back up.

"Yes, Alex." The barely audible words were mumbled in moan.

At a distance, Alex heard buckles being unlatched and clothing hitting the floor. A pocketful of change jiggled before pinging out to roll across the room. Moans, kisses, and grunts were all far away from Alex.

He concentrated on his bucking submissive and aiming to catch the unmarked flesh at a precise point. Alex drank in Cutter's response to the crop, to the rhythm, and to the Zen of lashing someone to the point of rapture. He could see Cutter's erection stretching well past the opening in the bench. Cutter thrust as if seeking enough friction to get off.

Alex couldn't have that. He rested the crop on Cutter's back and trailed it up until he was standing next to his head. Noticing the change in position, Cutter peeked up, eyes glazed and lips parted in blatant invitation.

Any dominant would have trouble not responding to such an overture. Alex ran a finger over Cutter's lips and they instantly parted to suck his digit inside. Cutter's mouth was hot, wet, and the suction was superb. Alex's erection pressed into his zipper, but he ignored his own needs in favor of his sweet sub.

"Look at them." His voice cracked. Storm leaned against the wall, his jeans carelessly around his ankles, hand guiding Ulrich's head up and down on him.

Cutter moaned. Storm's eyes opened and his gaze locked onto Cutter's. It seemed to make him groan. He began to thrust into Uli's mouth with more urgency. Cutter squirmed and f.u.c.ked the opening that would never give him the relief he craved.

"What do you want, Cutler?" Alex asked, emphasizing his full name.

His answer was to arch his back and wiggle his a.s.s.

"You want satisfaction?" The words were accompanied by a particularly cutting strike. When no answer came, Alex swung again. "Do you?"

Cutter danced in obvious pain but was seeking pure undiluted discipline. "Yesssssss. Please, Alex."

Alex kneeled. He wrapped his fist around Cutter's rampant erection and stroked. He delivered another slash of pain. "I'm going to tell you when I want your completion. Be ready."

No words, just a grunt of agreement. Cutter arched his back, tipping his a.s.s in the perfect position.

Another slash across his a.s.s and a firm tug made Cutter moan for o.r.g.a.s.m. Whack! Stroke. Whack! Stroke. Alex tried to give him crisp, fast strikes to send Cutter into the stratosphere. His sweet man cast a pleading look over his shoulder to Alex. It didn't take a genius to see Cutter rode the edge of ecstasy, and it was completely in Alex's control whether to make him wait or push him over the edge.

At a distance, Alex heard Storm grunted out his climax followed swiftly by Ulrich's cry of completion.

Cutter writhed as he thrust back, as if he needed the fire of a cutting slash before thrusting forward into Alex's fist.

"Come." Alex gave him a particularly harsh slash of the crop. "Give your o.r.g.a.s.m to me."

Cutter screamed his release as he erupted. His essence added to the near irrestible scent that surrounded Alex. He should restrain himself from licking the essence from his fist. The doctor had been vague about what would happen if not all mates accepted each other. But Uli already swallowed for Cutter and Storm, so Ulrich's fate hung in the balance of their acceptance as did Alex's. He stared at the cream rolling down his fist.

"Thank you, Alex. Thank you," Cutter mumbled before he dropped off to sleep.

"I got him."

Alex wanted to stop Storm from picking Cutter up and carrying him across the room to the large mat, but Storm would protect their somewhat-damaged mate regardless of the outcome. He watched Storm tuck in Cutter gently before surrounding him protectively with his body. So enthralled by the care Storm gave to Cutter that he hadn't even noticed Uli at his feet.

Without a word, Uli unzipped Alex and sucked him down to the base. Alex slowly licked his fist and the burst of favor sent him into o.r.g.a.s.m right into Ulrich's mouth. When his shivers of completion ended, he helped Uli off his knees and kissed him, picking up traces of Storm's unique taste. He should probably say something, but it was all he could do to stumble after Uli to the puppy pile of men whom he desperately hoped would accept the mate bond.

Chapter Twelve.

Tonight was the one-month anniversary of when Alex and Uli had confessed to being zombies, and Cutter and Storm still hadn't agreed to the exchange yet. Alex and Uli didn't want to push them so they just enjoyed seeing them every day. Sometimes, they would hang out all day, but other times it was a couple hours in the evening.

Storm and Cutter both happily shared their essence. At times, they seemed compelled pa.s.sionately to do so, but neither had committed to the blood exchange. Taking the final step to become a zombie, for someone who wasn't born that way, wasn't a decision to be taken lightly. This was forever.

"What if we never see them again?" Uli obsessed for the hundredth time in the past hour. He paced back from checking the hallway for Storm and Cutter.

Alex shared his terror when he contemplated rejection by their mates. But he didn't give voice to the yearning that demanded he secure his mates by any means necessary. Regardless of his secondary change, he would never force the issue. Storm and Cut needed to accept the bond on their own free will.

"They had car trouble. They'll be here." Alex rubbed Uli's shoulders. Storm and Cutter had never been late and car trouble didn't quite ring true.

"I don't see why they didn't want us to come help them." Uli rolled his head back, letting out a soft groan as his tense muscles loosened.

"Shh, they have a service to deal with car problems." The slow ma.s.sage seemed to finally calm Alex's whirling lover. Changing the subject to something positive, he reminded Uli, "Storm said Cut is doing much better with the therapist." She seemed to be helping Cutter find new coping mechanisms that actually worked for him to deal with his stress and loss.

"He adores you, you know that, right? He'd accept us for no other reason than you. He wants to be collared by you."

True. Alex sensed no jealousy in Uli's statement but wanted to remind him of Cutter's feelings for him. "And you know, Cut's in love with you and has been since he met you." The poor thing still seemed a little baffled by his feelings for all of them, though his confusion hadn't stopped him from exploring various s.e.xual acts. Remembering last night's antics lengthened Alex's shaft and made him smile.

"I don't understand why Storm is hesitant. I want our mates now and I don't get what is delaying them."

"It's a big decision. To become a zombie is giving up everything he knows, everyone he knows."

"Yeah, but he'd get us." Uli was in many ways younger than his nineteen years.

Alex pulled his mate into his arms. "He'll come around." Alex prayed to any G.o.d that would listen for Storm's choosing them, for all of their sakes. Or he'd be dooming each to an existence of never quite being fulfilled, of always being partly empty; without all of them together and mated, it would be h.e.l.l.

"I guess I can be patient, as at least we know who our mates are. Poor Corey and Jackson have no clue and they've been waiting for decades. So I'll shut up." Ulrich melted into Alex's embrace.

Storm inhaled deeply the scent of the pine and excitement. He kissed Cutter before he asked, "Are you sure?" Studying his beautiful black Camry tipped over on its now-smashed-in roof hurt just a little. He had worked like a demon and saved his money to get the car. He wanted to have something his father couldn't take away from him. He hugged Cutter a little tighter.

"Very. How about you? What about your brother?" Cutter asked him.

His parents would probably view his death as a relief they didn't have to be burdened with a potential scandal caused by their eldest. His younger brother was the only reason he hesitated.

He felt guilty about leaving his brother, but what could he do? The kid followed the McGrath party line and followed every bizarre rule his father made up. "Erick will be fine. Besides, Lafayette and Beau promised to watch out for him." They had hinted he'd be able to visit him or see him even though he couldn't visit anyone else. He sure hoped so; even though they were no longer close he loved his brother deeply.

They stood watching the match tumble into the line of gas leading to the saturated car. The fire roared to life as Storm pulled Cutter into the trees that would cover them when the car exploded.

The sequence of events happened much quicker than Storm had antic.i.p.ated. He hurried to make the anonymous 911 calls before tossing his phone into the fire.

Cut giggled when the phone exploded. "Hey, the article was right." He surveyed the area before p.r.o.nouncing, "Nothing flew out." He handed Storm a brand-new phone. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Watching his car go up in flames and his entire life with it made Storm ponder a bit. "Do you think they really want us?" Maybe Uli and Alex only wanted Storm and Cutter because they were their mates. Overa.n.a.lyzing and worrying were two things Storm never found useful.

Cut chuckled while he stared at the flaming wreck. "I sure the f.u.c.k hope so." So did Storm. They'd given up everything and walked away from their old lives.

"I still don't get why we couldn't tell them the doctor arranged all this to happen."

"He said the fewer people who knew about this, the better." The zombie network was impressive, if a little scary. The doctor had arranged for a zombie in the coroner's office to identify animal bones as Cutter and Storm. It was good to have people in power on your side.

"But why we couldn't at least tell Alex and Uli." Cutter's lower lip actually pouted out. d.a.m.n.

He didn't know how to respond so Storm kissed him one more time. "You know I love you, right?" Maybe not the best time to play True Confessions, but what the f.u.c.k.

Cut stared at him skeptically. "As in friends..."

Argh! How had he fooled the person who knew him the best? Had he been such a good actor? "As in 'I love you like a man loves another man'." Cut's expression hadn't changed from the original gape. "As in 'you're mine'. I love you."

"We're going to be mates so you kind of have to love me." Cut shrugged, avoiding eye contact.

"For the record, I've always loved you."

Sirens rang out in the distance. "Your timing sucks." Cut's smile brightened his face. "I love you too, you a.s.shole."

"I'm not an a.s.shole. I just play one for an audience."

"Do you have to be so good at it?"

Smirking, he ignored Cut's smarta.s.s jab. "Come on, we have zombies to mate."

"And zombies to become." Cut stopped after saying that and cracked up, probably at how Storm tried to get him to move.