I reached over and touched her hand. "Regan Martin, I thought I'd never see you again."

Regan looked up. "I know. I'm sorry."

As I looked across the table at the love of my life, I noticed her hospice ID badge on a lanyard around her neck: Regan Douglass, RN. There it was in black and white. Not only was she pregnant, she was married, too. I felt the stab to my heart. She seemed to have gotten everything she always wanted-the husband, the family, and the respectable life. All the things I couldn't give her, at least not in her eyes anyway.

"Hey, that's great. You went back and got your RN," I said, trying to hide my sadness.

"Yes, I took my boards last summer."

"I bet you carried a 4.0 the entire time, didn't you?"

Regan nodded and smiled shyly, which brought back memories of the time I met her at the nursing home. She was a new graduate nurse, afraid of her own shadow, and I was her mentor. Little did I know what our relationship would become. Back then, she had a mouth full of braces and zero self-confidence, but she turned out to be one hell of a nurse and the love of my life. Now the braces were gone, she'd gone back to school, and obviously gotten herself a husband in the process. Apparently, she was doing pretty well. I was happy for her, as happy as I could be. But I was sad that she had done this without me and sadder still that someone other than me could make her happy.

"And...you got married," I said, the words barely audible.

Regan nodded. She appeared almost ashamed of it.

"Last April. We met at the hospital. I was a nurse...in Wheeling. I took care of his dad. He didn't make it...his dad, I mean. He passed away."

"I'm sorry," I said, not knowing what else to say.

"I went back to school, too," I said, breaking the awkward silence.

Regan looked at me puzzled.

"I got accepted into the accelerated medical school program. They gave me credit for my RN degree. I'll finish up my last year of residency in June."

"Mina, you're a doctor...wow! I know that's something you've always wanted to do...and you did it."

My heart fluttered as Regan smiled, a sincere smile that told me she was really proud of me and what I'd accomplished.

"Did you pick a specialty?"

"Emergency room medicine. I like the variety and the fast pace. The shifts fly by usually. I can't see myself sitting in an office the rest of my life."

"Mina, that's wonderful...So now you're Dr. Thomas. That's great."

"Dr. Caselli actually. Sean and I are divorced. I went back to my maiden name."

Regan looked stunned. "Really? When?"

"It will be four years this November."

"Wow, a lot has happened since I've been gone," Regan said. "But if you're no longer married, why are you here taking care of Sean's father?"

"It was an amicable divorce. We've been able to maintain a wonderful friendship. And anyway, Ed was always so good to me while I was married to Sean...how could I not take care of him?"

"I guess I see your point. Sean's lucky to have you."

"Thanks."

"I can't believe you did it..."

"What, the divorce? A husband doesn't go with this lifestyle." I knew full well she didn't want to talk about my lifestyle at all.

"No, I mean medical school," Regan said, blushing. "Your mom must be very proud of you."

"Yes, I think she is." I paused because I didn't know how to ask what I wanted most to know. "I can't believe you did this," I finally said and lightly touched her hard belly. "I didn't think you wanted kids."

Regan looked down at her swollen belly. "I can't believe it either sometimes."

"When are you due?" I asked, guessing that she was about eight months along.

"The end of October," she said, again looking down as if she were ashamed or hiding something.

"How long have you been back in Ohio?"

"We moved back this past May. My dad had a stroke. He became so belligerent from the brain damage after the stroke that my mom couldn't handle him, so I...we moved back here. We bought a house one block over from my parents. Our backyards butt up against one another. It works out well."

"I'm sorry to hear about your dad," I said. "It'll be hard taking care of him and a newborn at the same time." Her pregnancy seemed to be all I could think about.

"I know, but Jim...my husband, Jim, has been a big help. He got laid off from his job so he goes over to my parents' house every day and helps my mom get Dad up and ready for the day. He and Dad get along pretty well. They both like to drink beer and watch sports...you know...guy things. He's good company for my dad and it gives my mom a much-needed break."

I looked across the table at the woman who stole my heart. I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her close. But I knew that would never happen again.

"Are you happy, Regan?" I asked, afraid of her answer because no answer would work for me. If Regan was happy with her current life, it meant she didn't love me, perhaps she never really did. If she weren't happy, my heart would break for her because somewhere in the unselfish parts of my heart, I did want her to be happy despite myself.

She nodded.

"Good, then I'm happy for you," I lied.

Regan looked up as if she had something to add. Her crystal blue gaze scanned my face, searching for something. Our reverie broke when we heard a car door slam.

Sean shouldered his way through the screen door, his arms loaded with grocery bags. All of the sudden, my heart raced at the reality of Regan and Sean meeting up again. They had only met once, and that had been the night Regan disappeared. I wondered if he would recognize her and what his reaction would be.

"Sorry I'm late. The checkout lines were long," Sean said. "I'm Sean Thomas, Ed's son." He set the bags on the kitchen counter.

Regan got up. "I'm Regan Douglass. I'll be taking care of your dad while he's in the hospice program."

I could tell Sean didn't recognize her. "I'll be with you as soon as I put this stuff away."

By the amount of bags Sean had hauled in, it was obvious he didn't stick to my list.

"I'll put the groceries away. You go ahead and get started with the admission. There are papers that will need to be signed and you're the only one who can do that," I said, getting up from the kitchen table but never taking my gaze off Regan.

I was surprised Regan didn't introduce herself differently, like, "Hi, I'm the woman who broke your wife's heart, remember me?" Actually, I wasn't surprised at all. Regan was never one to talk about things. She'd always been so much more comfortable with the pink elephant in the room. I didn't really want to trudge up the painful past, either. At least not now. Sean deserved to think only about his father now.

"Thanks, Meen." Sean sat at the table across from Regan.

I emptied the grocery bags one by one, pulling out more of Sean's favorite foods than Ed's. There were bags of tortilla chips and salsa, which I am positive were not on the list I gave him. Ice cream, doughnuts, Ho Hos, a frozen pepperoni pizza, and a six-pack of Budweiser. I shook my head as I put the stuff away. Finally, I did come across the things I had asked for.

As I busied myself putting the food away, I could hear Sean and Regan going through the admission process. Sean answered Regan's questions about current medications, allergies, and next of kin. Surprisingly, Sean had listed me, as well as himself, as Ed's next of kin.

After the paperwork was done, Regan went into Ed's room to examine him. Sean followed her. A few minutes later, they returned to the kitchen. Regan looked up at me as she put her stethoscope back in her black bag. I knew she felt Ed didn't have much time left.

"I'll be back tomorrow morning with more supplies. He's got at least two days worth of morphine left. If he should run out, you can call our twenty-four-hour pharmacy. They'll give you a refill. I can either pick it up on my way in or they'll send it to you by UPS overnight. I wouldn't let it get too low. His bone scan showed quite a few hot spots. Cancer in the bone is very painful. Without a certain level of morphine, your father will be in a lot of pain," Regan said.

Sean nodded and thanked her for coming. I watched from the window as Regan waddled to her car, not the sleek candy apple red Mustang she used to drive, but an older blue Chrysler minivan. Obviously, things had changed.

Sean came into the kitchen just as I put the last of the groceries away.

"She seems nice," he said. "Very thorough."

"Yes, she is," I said.

The silence in the room was heavy. I couldn't bear it much longer.

"Did you recognize her?" I asked.

"Recognize who?"

"The nurse. Do you know who she is?"

"No, not really. Should I?"

"Did you read her name tag at least?"

"Yes, Douglass...So...What's this about? I don't know any Douglasses, do you?"

I was losing patience with him. "That was Regan...Regan Martin...my Regan..."

Sean looked up from his paper. "You're kidding. That was the woman that wrecked our marriage?" He looked at me in disbelief.

"She didn't wreck our marriage."

"She didn't? Well, who did then?" He looked at me, challenging me to a fight.

"Let's not do this."

"What?"

"This. Talk about Regan."

"If I remember correctly, you brought it up." His anger was palpable.

"I'm sorry. I just thought you should know who she is."

"Now I know who she is. But I thought she was long gone from here."

"She moved back a couple of months ago. Her dad had a stroke. She came back to help take care of him."

"Forgive me for not feeling all that compassionate about her, but she has no business in our lives," Sean said.

"Our lives?" Sean's wounded look told me I better stop right there. "When she realized who your dad was, she offered to get another nurse on the case. I told her she shouldn't. I said that our history together wouldn't be a problem."

"Maybe not for you, but for me, it is. I don't want that...that..."

"That what?"

"That...woman in my house."

"She didn't do anything to us...our divorce was not her fault."

"You're telling me that she had nothing to do with breaking up our marriage? That if you and she didn't..."

"If it wasn't her, it would have been someone else," I whispered, sad that we were discussing this painful topic all over again.

"Mina, I'm sorry, but I don't believe that. We were happy, weren't we?" His anger had given way to utter sadness and desperation, both fueled by the fact that Regan was back. Sean didn't do so well with loss, no matter if it was me and our marriage or his father. I knew that, and I wanted to help as much as I could. I owed him that much, if not more.

"But I needed something else. Hiding...that was killing me. Look how things turned out. We still have each other. Don't you think things are better now?"

Sean lowered his head and nodded. "I just don't think it's right that she comes here like nothing ever happened."

"I told you she offered to have another nurse take Ed's case."

"So why didn't you take her up on it? You still have feelings for her, don't you?"

"No...no, I don't," I lied. "Those feelings were lost long ago."

"Then why did you let her stay?"

"Because Regan is one of the best nurses I know. You just said so yourself before I told you who she was. Give her a chance. Besides, what harm can she do now? I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't care how good a nurse she is, I still don't feel comfortable having her here, Meen. I'm sorry."

"Okay, if you feel that strongly about this, I'll call hospice and have them assign another nurse to the case."

"Thank you," Sean said. He picked up his newspaper, went into Ed's room, and turned on the TV. I stared out the kitchen window at the spot where Regan's car had been parked. What harm could she do now, indeed?

CHAPTER FIVE.

"I better get going," I said to Sean, who was sitting in the recliner next to Ed's hospital bed. "My shift starts in a few hours, and I need to get some sleep."