"Screw Tony. I don't care what he thinks. Look at him over there, trying to act like the big shot."

"Let it go, Ro. You know he lost his mother, too."

"Yeah, I know...It's just that he's such a..."

Just then, Peggy and a couple of the other nurses and nurses' aides from St. Mike's came through the line.

"Hey, hi, oh, my God, it's so good to see you," I said to Peggy, sweeping her and the crew up in a big group hug.

Peggy broke our huddle and stepped over to where Rosetti was standing and took her hand. "I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom was a great person. We'll miss her a lot."

"Thank you," Rosetti said. "And thank you for taking such good care of her. I really appreciate it."

Peggy and the aides stayed for quite some time, which helped Rosetti cool down. We got to talking about how the other residents at the nursing home were doing and how much they were going to miss Teresa, as well.

Sean walked into the funeral home with some of the other police officers from the station, including the chief. They had come to pay their respects to their coworker. By the look on Rosetti's face, she was happy to see them.

So much loss had taken place in such a short amount of time. It seemed a short time ago that I was standing in this same spot during Ed's calling hours, with Sean at my side.

"Hey, Rosetti, how' ya doin'?" Sean asked as he came through the line. "Sorry for your loss," he said and awkwardly hugged her.

"Thanks, Sean, thanks for coming," Rosetti said.

"Hi, Meen, how you holdin' up?" Sean asked as he bent down and kissed me on the cheek.

"Fine," I said. "Thanks for coming. I know it means a lot to Rosetti that you and the guys are here."

Sean filed through, as well as the other officers, family friends, and relatives. Finally after three long hours, Teresa's calling hours were over. After the Novena to the Blessed Mother, everyone but the family filed out, then with Tony in the lead, one by one, the family walked by the casket to say good night to Teresa. The funeral service was scheduled for the next morning at the church, then the burial in St. Mary's Cemetery.

As Rosetti approached her mother's casket, I could see the tears well up in her eyes. She reached out and touched her mother's hand and kissed her forehead, just as I had seen her do so many nights at the nursing home. "Bye, Ma, see you tomorrow," she whispered.

A motorcade of cars pulled up in front of Teresa Rosetti's home. The lights were already on in the kitchen, dining room, and parlor when we pulled up to the curb. Rosetti turned off the motor and sat in silence.

"You okay?" I asked.

Rosetti rubbed her eyes and nodded. "Mm-hmm...just tired. It's been a long day."

I reached across the front seat of the car and touched her face. She looked at me and smiled wearily.

"You're holding up very well," I said. "Your mother would be proud of you."

Rosetti let out a sigh and shook her head.

"Why do you beat yourself up so much?"

Rosetti shrugged. "I don't know...Catholic girl guilt, I guess...you know, never feeling you're good enough."

"But you are good enough, Rosetti, you're the best." I took her face in my hands.

Rosetti smiled a halfhearted smile and looked away.

"What is it?" I asked. "What's going on in that head of yours?

"I don't want to go in there," Rosetti said. "I know they're my family, but it doesn't feel right. Tony's in there acting like the put-upon son. He acts like he took such good care of her, when in reality he hasn't seen our mother since last Christmas. You know, come to think of it, neither one of my brothers was there for Mom when she needed them. But look at them now. I just can't take it, Mina."

"Okay, then don't. Let's go back to the apartment. We can order a pizza and just relax. Just you and me," I said, settling back in the passenger's seat.

Rosetti's face brightened. She turned the car on. As we pulled away from the curb, I could see Tony watching us from the dining room window. I didn't mention it to Rosetti.

The quiet apartment felt like a sanctuary. It felt good to be home. I drew a warm bath for Rosetti, then went into the kitchen to order the pizza. When I returned to the bathroom with fresh towels, she stood before me naked. My breath caught in my throat. I wondered if I would ever get used to seeing her this way. She stepped closer to me and began unbuttoning the buttons on my blouse one button after another. Slowly, my insides began to simmer. Rosetti pushed the silk blouse off my shoulders, then reached behind me and unfastened my bra. It floated to the floor and lay in a pile at my feet with my discarded blouse. I closed my eyes as I felt her caress my chest and cup both breasts in her hands.

"You are just gorgeous," Rosetti whispered. "What did I do to deserve you?"

I pulled her closer and kissed her full on the mouth. Her strong hands caressed my back, then slipped into the waistband of my slacks. Fervently, her hands worked on the button and zipper. Rosetti slid her hands inside the front of my pants and into the warm wet invitation her nearness had created.

"See what you do to me," I whispered, my breath coming in short gasps.

Rosetti groaned. She tugged my slacks and panties down around my ankles. As our bodies pressed together, I felt her enter me, one finger, then another, then another. My thigh pressed between her legs, and we rhythmically moved together, climbing until our passion peaked. Rosetti's breathing became ragged and my legs buckled as wave after wave of orgasm pounded through me. We sank to the tile floor, gasping for air, and held each other close. We lay there, lost in the sensations of surrender and tranquility of the moment.

The door bell rang, startling us from our reverie. Rosetti stood up, legs still wobbly, and lumbered out to the kitchen wrapped in my pink bathrobe. She came back a few seconds later and rummaged through her pants pocket. She pulled out a crumpled ten-dollar bill and stuffed it into the pocket of the robe. She returned to the bathroom with a steaming hot pepperoni pizza and two cans of Diet Coke.

We moved our party into the bedroom, where between bites of pizza, we made love into the early hours of the morning and collapsed into each other's arms for a much-needed, but fitful, night's sleep.

The morning sun blazed into the bedroom, illuminating the remnants of leftover pizza crusts and flat Diet Coke cans. I peeked at the alarm clock, and it wasn't even seven thirty yet. Rosetti was still sound asleep. I slipped out of bed and into the kitchen to make some coffee and something to eat for us before we had to leave for the funeral home. We had to be back at Morelli's by nine thirty. The service would start at ten.

As the coffee brewed, I rummaged through the cupboards for something for breakfast. I found some bread that had turned moldy at least a week earlier, a can of tuna and, bingo, a box of blueberry Pop Tarts. I kept the tuna, tossed the bread in the trash, and popped the Pop Tarts in the toaster.

"What are you doing?" Rosetti asked as she stood naked in the doorway of the kitchen and rubbed her eyes like a sleepy little kid.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"No...I was awake. Although you were making enough racket out here, I'd be surprised if anyone in the building can sleep," Rosetti joked.

"I was trying to make you something to eat before we had to leave for the funeral home."

"Thank you, I appreciate that. The coffee smells good. What else are we having?" Rosetti poured herself a cup.

Just then, the Pop Tarts popped up in the toaster.

"Ta da!" I exclaimed.

Rosetti shook her head and smiled. "You are really some gourmet cook."

We laughed as I gingerly removed our extremely hot breakfast pastry from the toaster and tossed them on a plate.

"I hope those are blueberry," Rosetti said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Today is your lucky day."

But in my heart I knew, all kidding aside, that today would be one of the hardest days she had to go through. I was glad I could be here with her. I wanted her to know that I would be there always, no matter how tough it might get.

We sat at the dining room table and ate our Pop Tarts in silence.

"You okay?" I asked, breaking the melancholy silence.

Rosetti nodded. "I just want to get this over with. I don't want Tony, or anyone else for that matter, causing any trouble. I just want to bury my mother." She wiped her mouth with a paper napkin, stood, and headed for the kitchen with her coffee cup and plate. She kissed the top of my head as she walked by.

"Thanks for breakfast," she said. "It was delicious."

"You knew going in that I'm no Julia Child," I teased.

"Yes, I did. I think I can live with that."

Rosetti and I were the first to arrive at Morelli's. I held her hand as we walked over to Teresa's casket. Rosetti bent down and kissed her on the forehead, then gently touched her hand before kneeling on the velvet kneeler in front of the casket. I knelt beside Rosetti and we said a silent prayer. At least I did anyway, the act of contrition and a Hail Mary, my standard prayers for funerals. When I was in second grade at Our Lady of Perpetual Help School, the nuns taught us to say the act of contrition and a Hail Mary upon entering any church and at funerals. Sort of like utility prayers-good for any occasion. After a few minutes, Rosetti stood and I followed her to the line of chairs against the wall in the area designated for the family of the deceased.

Slowly, the remainder of Rosetti's family trickled in. First, Tony and his family arrived, then Gianni and his family. They all paid their respects to Teresa before coming over and silently taking their places in line next to Rosetti.

Friends of the family trailed in and quietly took their seats. And then Father Mathew began the prayer service.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust..."

My mind wandered as the service continued. Where do we really go after we die? Is there a heaven and a hell? I wonder what you have to do to end up in either place. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Rosetti. She looked stoic, her way of dealing with all this.

The prayer service concluded and it was time to say our final goodbyes to Teresa. Friends and family filed by the casket. Then it was time for the immediate family to say goodbye. Tony went first, followed by his family. Gianni stood and guided his family through the line. One by one, they leaned over the casket to kiss Teresa goodbye. My throat tightened as Rosetti stood and took my hand. We walked over to Teresa one last time.

"Goodbye, Ma." Rosetti broke down. I gently took her arm and handed her a Kleenex.

Tears streamed down Rosetti's face as she bent down to kiss her mom for the last time. I reached out and touched Teresa's cool stiff hand. "Goodbye, dear friend."

Rosetti and I walked out of the funeral home and to the waiting limousine, where the rest of the family waited. It was cramped in there until Ellie suggested that the kids sit on the adults' lap. During the entire ride to the church, I could feel Tony's heavy gaze on me. I tried not to let it bother me.

We piled out of the limo and went in the side door of the church. The entire Rosetti family sat in the first three rows of Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church. Two altar boys dressed in red and white vestments walked down the center aisle of the church, one carrying a heavy gold cross as the other carried two crystal flutes, one containing water and the other containing wine for the communion consecration. Father Mathew followed the altar boys down the aisle and up to the altar where a high Mass was said in honor of Teresa.

After the burial in St. Mary's Cemetery, the entire congregation was invited back to Teresa's house where friends and neighbors had prepared a special luncheon. The house was packed. You could smell the tomato sauce and fried peppers from the driveway. Many of the mourners had filtered out onto the front and back porch, just to find somewhere to sit and eat.

As the day went on, the crowd dwindled and only a few close friends and family remained. Rosetti was sitting in the dining room talking with one of her cousins. I started clearing some dishes from the dining room table and carried them into the kitchen to wash them. In the hallway to the kitchen, I ran right smack into Tony.

"Oh, excuse me," I said, feeling my face heat up with embarrassment.

"That's okay, I should have been looking where I was going," he said as he looked me over. "You know, I'll never understand why my sister is the way she is, but I can understand what she sees in you." His cold dark gaze roamed over my body. I felt violated again.

I pushed past him and made my way into the kitchen, set the dishes in the sink, and turned on the faucet.

"Was it something I said?" Tony asked, still standing in the doorway.

I shook my head, unable to come up with a reply that would defuse the situation.

I busied myself with washing the dishes, hoping he would just go away, all too aware of his presence behind me. I turned around to reach the dirty plates that were stacked on the kitchen table and found Tony close enough for me to smell the Crown Royal on his breath.

"Are you sure you're a dyke? You don't look like one and you don't act like one." His speech was thick from the alcohol.

"What's a lesbian supposed to look like?"

"You know...like my sister in there..." Tony nodded toward Rosetti. "Short hair, masculine...hell, when we were kids, people thought she was a boy until she hit puberty. She was always like that...tough and hard. I don't get it. What does a pretty thing like you see in her?"

My heart pounded and I was starting to feel trapped.

"Different people have different tastes." I picked up a glass and dried it. I reached to put the glass away when I felt him press his massive body against me.

"Well, maybe you just need to be with the right man," Tony whispered in my ear as he leaned into me.

"I don't think that has anything to do with it." I pushed against him, trying to squeeze free from between him and the kitchen counter.

He caught me around the waist, and I could feel his hardness press into my back. "But how do you know if you don't try it?" The stench of liquor and garlic on his breath made me nauseated.

"Get off of me!" I said through gritted teeth. Perhaps I should have screamed, but I didn't want anyone in the living room to hear us and find out what was going on. With all my might, I tried to push the tub of lard away from me, but I couldn't budge him. He grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me around so we were facing each other. When he pinned my hands down on the kitchen countertop, I instinctively raised my right knee to his groin. Tony's eyes bulged and his face turned crimson as he slowly lowered himself onto the floor, clutching the family jewels.

"Dyke," he gasped.

I stepped over him as he lay on his side on the kitchen floor.

I joined Rosetti and her cousin in the dining room.

"You okay?" Rosetti asked. "You look upset."

"I'm fine. Just taking a breather before I finish cleaning up."

It was seven o'clock in the evening when the last of the guests left. Rosetti looked drained as she sat at the kitchen table nursing a cold cup of coffee. Gianni and Ellie were packing up to head back home that night. They were scheduled back to work and their girls had to be back at school in the morning. Kathy was upstairs packing for their return trip, as well. There was no sign of Tony.

I was scheduled in the morning, as well, and needed to get home and get some rest. As I put the last of the dishes away, the doorbell rang.

"Who could that be?" Rosetti asked as she wearily got up and went to answer the door.

I heard Rosetti open the door and a male voice, which I recognized as the chief's.

"Come in," Rosetti said and gestured Chief Watkins toward the kitchen.

"Why, hello, Mina," Chief Watkins said, surprised to see me in Rosetti's kitchen. I'm sure this confirmed the rumors he tried to ignore about me and Rosetti.

Rosetti and the chief sat at the kitchen table.

"Can I get you something? Coffee? Something cold to drink?" I asked.

"Coffee would be great," Chief Watkins said.

I put on a fresh pot and pulled out some pineapple squares one of the ladies from the church had made and set them on the table. When the coffee was finished, I poured Chief Watkins a cup and warmed up Rosetti's.

"I know this has been a tough day for you, Rosetti," Chief Watkins said as he pulled a sheet of paper from the manila envelope he was carrying. "But the ballistics report is back on the shooting, and I thought you'd want to know the results."