28 Jealousy Jealousy

With that, we

were friends, and I was allowed to visit the Palace. The chamberlain came up to

get his attention again.

Although I took

the Palace visit permit at face value, I’m glad that he wasn’t displeased at my

request.

He eventually

left with the chamberlain and the door closed behind them.

As soon as the

door shut, Mother collapsed back in her settee laughing.

‘Hahaha, like

father like daughter…’ she said. (Zuben: I was going to say the same thing)

My Mother

laughed herself silly, Father sighed as he turned to look at me.

‘You have to

study a bit more now. You are in dangerous waters.’

That…? How am

I like father?!

♢

When we got

home, I received a lot of words from Father, and was told I should reflect. But

on what should I reflect?

Now I’m lying

in bed thinking about it. But my thoughts inevitably turn to General Brennan. I

became a bit anxious.

General

Brennan wanted me to be his wife. He kissed my palm. It had made me embarra.s.sed

enough to blush, but I felt happy and nyonnyo.

His hands were

so big, and he smelled like a forest. And his baritone that reverberated

through me and caused a heat in the pit of my stomach, his twinkling hazel

eyes…

It’s too nice!

General Brennan, I love you! I pushed my face into my pillow and kicked my legs

in excitement. Such a wonderful person, why are you looking at me? What a

miracle! Perhaps because of this, I have used up all my life’s good luck.

(Zuben: You haven’t. it's just the beginning!)

I would like

to be engaged as soon as possible, if possible, before the General could change

his mind. So that things will be fait accompli. It would be possible if the

General’s feelings change. Thinking of the engagement makes me feel impatient.

I feel

insecure.

Our ages are

vastly different, I have no special skills, I am not a absurdly beautiful. My

personality is somewhat…ah~ this might be difficult. I don’t know the general

very well, and he doesn’t know me well either. If I think about it deeply, our love

seems to be made up of very ambiguous and unstable things like beliefs and

misunderstandings.

Yet…'I want to

see you, General Brennan.’ I say to the empty room quietly.

We might meet

and get to know each other better and think “This person is different from what I

imagined,” but I just saw you not too long ago and I want to see you already.

Even if I say it out loud, I know it’s meaningless, but I can’t stop thinking

and talking.

I want to see

you, but can’t meet.

I don’t know

how we can meet. What excuse do lovers of the world use? I wonder if you would

like to see me too.

I sighed.

My darling,

where are you?

My thoughts a

like a bear in a cage; going round and round. That thought made me laugh to

myself.

There was a

knock on the door, I called out and Marie came in,

‘Milady, it is

tea time. Cook made lemon pie!’

Tea would

nice, but I didn’t feel like eating for some reason. But Marie dragged me to

our drawing room. Did she want to eat the lemon pie that much? When we entered

the room, I gasped in surprise. The drawing room was filled with bouquets of pink flowers.

‘What is

this?’ I asked Marie.

‘They are from

General Brennan for you, lady.’ She said proudly.

It’s a lie.

Mother put her

cheek in her hand and looked at the flowers with a soft grin, ‘In flower

language, the arrangement means “You are attractive”’

‘Why is Mother

so detailed?’

‘That is what

Oliver told us.’

As expected, I

didn’t think Mother was the kind of person to be well versed in flower

language. But why would a butler know about flower language?

‘The charm of

the young lady is finally appreciated! You did it!’

I looked at

the flowers, General Brennan do you think me attractive?! The message could be

unintentional. He may have just picked this arrangement because he liked it.

Even so, I’m happy.

My face is

pink.

I took a seat

and Oliver gently set tea and a slice of pie before me with a gentle smile,

‘It’s a good

thing, Miss.’

‘Thank you.’ I

said as I picked a piece of the pie. I had thought I didn’t want it, but the

refres.h.i.+ng sweet-sourness filled me with joy.

♢

I chatted with

Mother and Marie for a little but after tea. A little while later I headed back

to my room. On my way, I was stopped by Oliver. He handed me a while envelope,

‘This came

with the flowers. I thought you might prefer to read it by yourself.’

I quickly

looked at the sender and my cheeks got hot.

‘Thank you,

Oliver.’ I said. Then I quickly returned to my room.

I went

straight to my window seat and opened the seal.

It was from

General Brennan of course. His feelings were written out in a dignified

handwriting. He said he wanted to meet me and hold me. He had been jealous

seeing me getting along with Prince Stefan and he would like to get the wedding

sorted as soon as possible. (Zuben: Before someone else comes and carries his

kitten off)

Oh my

goodness! The letter made me feel feverish and shy.

He was

jealous, it makes me happy.

I was also

jealous of the Prince who was close to General Brennan.

Lets also be

friends!

Chapter 29 Volker: Men who are not good at standing?

I returned to

my office because of the emergency. Nicolo informed me that my adoptive father

had come to visit.

He has long

since retired from the army. He was elderly now, but still very strong and

active due to a long army carrier.

I communicated

with Nicolo with our eyes, “Isn’t it just my father?”

“It’s still

urgent,” he replied (Zuben: They be psychics!)

I went to my

reception room where my father sat drinking some tea.

‘Father, are you

alright? Why the sudden visit?’

He had never

come to see me at work before. He eventually moved from the Royal City to live

a quiet life in the country with my mother. And he never asked for much,

neither did he come to visit unannounced. So I had a bad feeling about this.

‘I am fine. I

have come because I heard a little rumour.’ He replied.

The bad

feeling turned into a surety.

The rumour is

probably about the incident at the theatre. In other words, he’s come to ask

about Fredericka. I took a seat across from him, and my father looked at me

quietly.

‘Volker, are

we getting a daughter in law?’ he asked directly. My father really preferred to

be direct. I smiled, I hadn’t seen him for a while, it was nice to know father

hadn’t changed.

‘Yes, a pretty

bride.’

‘I’ve heard

it’s the young Honourable Miss Castley.’

‘Yes, her name

is Fredericka.’

‘How old is

she, isn’t she still young?’

‘She’s

seventeen.’

‘Seventeen!’

Father was

silent after that. I guess he didn’t know there was such a large difference in

age. Then my father looked up at me with a smile as he said,

‘You’ve done

well my boy! This is wonderful news. The most wonderful news!’

It was the

first time I had seen Father this happy with anything I had done. I returned a

puzzled smile.

‘It’s been a

long wish of mine that if I had a daughter she would be the bride or second

wife of the Viscount Castley, but it never came true. And now, you and the Miss

Castley…’

Now I’m

hearing ridiculous things.

‘Father, what

do you mean?’

Father gave me

a look and said, ‘Ignore what I said,’ and took a sip of tea. (Zuben: It was a

weird thing, daddykins)

During the

last great war, thanks to the abundant financial aid of the Castley family, the

morale of the soldiers fighting in the war was replenished due to the high

quality food and equipment supplied to the army by the Castley scion at the

time. It was Mr Castley that worked with the Prime Minister in negotiating a

cease fire and eventually the peace treaty.

He came up

against a lot of impossible conditions and opposition. My grandfather seemed to

heavily rely on the Castley money in that war and drew upon it without

permission. He used the Castley money to pay reparations to the neighbouring

countries we were at war with. It was a huge amount of money. It was

unbelievable that all that money came from a single merchant.

My

grandfather, after it was said and done, lowered his head to Merchant Castley

in apology and thanks. He was presented with honours that would be given to a

soldier that risked life and limb for the country.

Then there was

a rumour that the Merchant Castley had loaned the money from a money lender.

Grandfather investigated the source of the rumour and the person’s tongue was

cut.

Merchant

Castley had a gold vault, and that was where the money came from. The King apologised

to the Merchant Castley, but he replied to the king with a laugh, “I’m a very

good money maker, who else can lend to the King but me?”

Eventually we

were able to collect reparations and quickly repaid our debts.

Grandfather

fell for the spirit and talent of Merchant Castley, and vowed to repay the

favour.

‘But the

Merchant Castley was not happy with the rise in rank, on the contrary to him it

felt dishonourable for a nouveau riche like himself to rise in such a way. He

had hoped that the status of the Castley family would have risen more

steadily.’

‘So you’re not

against the marriage?’ I asked my father, just to confirm.

‘No, I was

happy to hear about it. I will ask to greet her family soon.’

After that, I

asked Viscount Castley to inform the King and Queen of the impending engagement

to Fredericka. And the application for marriage was prepared to be submitted to

the House of Lords.

Soon we found

ourselves just the two of us, in her family’s drawing room.

30 I’ve

Waited…

The sound of

the door closing sounded strange or was it just in my mind?

The room that

had been filled with a fluffly atmosphere suddenly changed. Rather like from

sweet pink to dark pink!

Somehow I

became embarra.s.sed and put a little distance between General Brennan and me on

the two seat sofa.

Isn’t my elbow

too close? I stayed put but I could not bear it!

‘Fredericka,’

he called in his deep voice, he turned to me holding out his arms.

I stared

blankly.

‘Come.’

Come? Come to

your knees?!

I could not

refuse, his smile was so charming. But I really didn’t want to do that though.

‘Well,

then…please pardon me.’ I asked as I let him lift me onto his knees.

My cheeks got

warm as I settled down. Right, I’m a girl with strong nasal mucosa! Strong

girl! I will not lose to nosebleeds. I cried in my heart while sitting on his

legs. There is such a hard feeling different from the chair. Are men’s leg

muscles so hard? (Zuben: I think it’s just your man, dear) My b.u.m doesn’t have

enough fat to cus.h.i.+on me.

‘Aren’t I

heavy?’ I asked.

The general

waved my question away, ‘I’ve told you before you’re not that heavy.’

He hugged me

tightly from behind. My back and the general’s stomach were stuck together and

it’s very warm. That deep forest-y smell that seems to represent him surrounds

me, I like it very much. It was such a calming scent. But, the situation was

not letting me calm down at all.

‘Ah um General

Brennan…’

‘When you stop

calling me that?’ his voice said directly into my ear. There was a warm wet

feeling behind my ear. He’s licking my ear!!

‘Brennan is my

family name, General is a t.i.tle. Can’t you call me Volker?’

His cheek was

against my ear. Did he just kiss my ear? My brain was turning to mush at his

unique baritone in my ear. My whole body is perspiring.  I suddenly softened, so I was strongly

embraced and pulled close. (Zuben: ero ero oyaji)

‘Do you not like

it?’

Don’t say such

a thing! I don’t dislike, my body is selfish.

‘Fredericka,’

My body

bounced at the sound of my name on his lips.

‘Ah Vo-l-ker,’

Oh gosh, I can’t even speak.

‘I don’t

dislike it…I’m just ashamed…’ I finally said. I used my hands to cover my face.

However,

General Bren- I mean Volker seems to be happy about it, ‘I’m sorry, I was

just…’ he didn’t finish his sentence, but I was released.

Ah I’m already

worn out…

I was returned

to my seat beside him drinking tea. My cheeks were hot. I would rather be

drinking something cooler. Because I am still a little girl, I’m very sorry, I can’t

handle a grown up erotic atmosphere. But I don’t want to be lazy.

I’m curious.

I’m

interested.

What should I

do? Should I tell him my feelings frankly?

Yes, let’s do

that.

‘Volker,’

He immediately

put an arm around me and pulled me close. My body tingled, but I didn’t hate

it. Good.

‘I don’t know

anything about things like this, and I think I will inconvenience you, but I

will do my best, so please tell me, will you?

I tucked my

face into his arm once I finished.

But he was

silent.

I looked up. I

was surprised to see Volker’s face was red.

Is he sick? (Zuben:

Well…this is a very patient bear, is all I can say)

♢