_(All sing to the tune_ of "_Maryland, My Maryland_.")

Old Santa Claus is such a bore, Of him we've had too much and more; Now what we want is something new, But what is there for us to do?

A new St. Nick would be the thing, Who would our Christmas presents bring.

(_Electric bell sounds, the door opens, and Mr. St. Nicholas comes on the stage. He bows and takes off his hat_.)

_Mr. St. N_.: Good evening, young people! I see you are at your old-time tricks of hanging up your stockings. This won't do. Don't you know it's gone out of fashion? (_Goes toward fireplace; the boys rush to protect their property_.)

_John_: Who are you, sir? And how dare you interfere with our fun?

_Mr. St. N_.: I am the new, up-to-the-times Santa Claus. My proper name is Mr. St. Nicholas. I am on my rounds to take the names of all the young people who deserve a remembrance at Christmas time.

I haven't a moment to lose. My telephones are overburdened with messages, my men are distracted with the work to be done between now and daylight. _(Pulls out a book and pencil and prepares to write while he addresses Tom and speaks rapidly without waiting for a reply_.) Your name, young man? Your age, birthplace, parents' names?

Residence? Attendant at what school? What specific tastes? List of last year's presents. Make haste, time is money.

_Katie_: But Santa--I mean Mr. St. Nicholas--here are our stockings.

_Mr. St. N_.: Christmas stockings! trash and nonsense. They belong to the dark ages.

_Harry_: Pray, how do you bestow your gifts?

_Mr. St. N_.: By district messenger service, of course! Next boy _(to Charlie_), give me your name, age, birthplace, parents' names, residence, school, specific tastes, last year's presents.

_Charlie_: How did you come here, Mr. St. Nicholas? I heard no sleigh-bells at the door.

_Mr. St. N. (scornfully)_: More nonsense to explain. I came down from the north pole in an air-ship of the latest pattern. Come, now, here are these girls waiting to be cla.s.sified. _(To Dora.)_ Name, age--

_Dora_: I won't be put in statistics, even if it is Christmas and you are the patron saint.

_Charlie_: Nor I. I didn't vote for any improvements. Take them away.

_John:_ You seem a trifle ahead of the age, Mr. St. Nicholas, or else we made a great mistake in being discontented with our old-fashioned Christmas.

_Tom_: Allow me to call down your air-ship.

_(Mr. St. Nicholas is ushered to the door. The others turn back at the sound of sleigh-bells. Santa Claus appears at the fireplace_.)

_Children (greeting him with enthusiasm_): Jolly _old_ Saint Nicholas!

_Santa Claus_: Oh! ho! ha! ha! Are you really glad to see such an old-fashioned specimen as I am?

_John_: Indeed we are! We have just shown your usurper the door.

_Bess_ (_clasping S.C.'s hand_): You are the real Santa Claus.

_Santa Claus_: Yes, I am the real Santa Claus, and I cannot get to work until you children are fast asleep. So scurry away as fast as you can, and a merry, merry Christmas when you awake!

_Children_ (_singing to the tune of "Nancy Lee," end at the end leaving the stage_):

Oh! Christmas time has come again, Tra la la la, tra la la la.

We welcome it with glad refrain, Tra la la la la la.

Of all the happy holidays this year, There's none so joyous, none so dear, Then sing we all our song of festive glee, Of Santa Claus and Christmas tree.

_Chorus_.--O ring the bells, the merry Christmas bells, Their music all out pleasure tells. (_Repeat._)

(_Santa Claus unpacks his goods, and as he fills the stockings he performs various antics, holds up the objects, and dances about. Any local expressions that will create amus.e.m.e.nt he can bring in with running commentaries. The piano is heard softly till he is through, and then bursts out loudly as the curtain is drawn._)

=Christmas Offerings by Children from Other Lands.=

By ELLA M. POWERS.

(DIRECTIONS.--This exercise may be given by six little girls.

The platform may be decorated with evergreen trees or boughs, and flags should be used freely. The American girl should be dressed in an American flag and wear a cap of red, white, and blue. The costumes of the others may be as follows:

The Eskimo girl should procure a boy's fur coat, or wrap a fur rug about her and wear a fur cap or hood and fur mittens.

The Indian girl can throw about her a gay-colored blanket, and wear strings of beads about her neck, arms, and head. Her straight dark hair should be parted in the middle, plaited in two braids in the back, and decorated with short pieces of bright ribbons. Moccasins and dark brown stockings may be worn on the feet. Bracelets, earrings, chains, beads, quills, and brooches may be used as ornaments. The hands, arms, and face should be stained. To color the skin get a stick of Hess Grease Paint No. 17. Rub a little vaseline into the skin to be tinted. Then rub a portion of the paint on the palm of the left hand and with the fingers of the right hand transfer it evenly to the skin surface until the required tint is obtained.

The Chinese girl should be dressed brightly with large, square, loose hanging sleeves, a broad sash tied on one side, her hair brushed flat, coiled in the back, with haircomb and pins thrust into the coil. She may have a j.a.panese parasol and carry a fan.

The African girl may be dressed in red and black, with black hair and red handkerchief over her head and large rings in her ears. Face and hands blackened with burnt cork.

The Arabian girl can wear a tunic or bright shawl draped about her, a turban of a bright silk handkerchief, and wear feathers in her hair. She should be very dark-complexioned

The American girl enters, takes her seat in the center of the platform, saying:)

_American girl_:

And this again is Christmas day; My invitations all Have gladly been accepted; Let us see who first will call.

(Eskimo girl enters, bows, comes forward with a fur bag filled with presents, which she pa.s.ses to the American girl as she mentions them.)

_Eskimo girl_:

I'm a little Eskimo girl, I live in the land of ice, We never saw a Christmas tree Nor fruits and candies nice; But we run races o'er the snow, Beneath the big, bright moon, And from this far away ice-land, I've brought you a nice bone spoon.

My father hunts all through the day For reindeer, seal, and bear, And sends away in ships so strong These furs so rich and rare, And fish, and birds, and whales, you know, I've seen them many a time, And here's a pretty fur for you That came from the arctic clime.

(Eskimo girl offers presents and steps to one side. American girl turns and places presents on the boughs beside her. Enter Indian girl.)

_Indian girl_:

I'm a little Indian girl, I live in the far Northwest, In the land of the Dakotas, In the land I love the best.

I've brought a nice bead-basket, I made it all. You see

I know about your Christmas A happy day to thee.

And here's an arrow-head for you, And a piece of pottery queer, And here are herbs for medicine good, To make you strong, my dear.