"Love you, too."

Nathan swung between being sure that he was doing the right thing, driving hundreds of miles to Echo Lake, and thinking he was an idiot. Every time he'd stopped for a break, he considered turning around, but after a coffee and something to eat, he always pulled back onto the road leading north.

He'd half convinced himself that he didn't care about Jack anymore and that this journey had more to do with his mother. In a way, it was true. He wanted to see the house she loved which just happened to be the place where she died. Most of all, he wanted to say goodbye. He'd wasted enough time on the past. When he left Echo Lake, he was going to make a new start.

Chapter Twenty-One.

Kate lifted her head and bit back a scream. My arm. She looked at her hand suspended above her head, every muscle and joint feeling as though she'd been taken apart and put back together wrong. She struggled to her feet and rubbed her fingers to get blood flowing. Tommy still slept in the tub, his hand on his blue monster. He looked so small and helpless. Her fault they were trapped. She'd let him down.

Turning on the faucet, Kate bent her head to the sink. The coldness of the water set her teeth on edge and another sharp pain started behind her eyes.

Grabbing the side of the basin, she knocked the soap into the bowl and realized she'd not been thinking clearly the night before. But after a few minutes struggling to force the metal over a soapy wrist, Kate gave up and sat down again.

Her wrist stung, but at least there was color in her fingers.

Tommy began to stir. A little face peeped over the edge of the tub.

"Morning, submarine commander." Kate mustered a smile. "Had a successful voyage?"

"Is it time to wake up?"

"It is if you're awake."

"Is he back?"

She shook her head. Tommy climbed out of the tub and crouched down next to her. "Can I have pancakes for breakfast?"

"Sorry, not today. Do you think you can get your own breakfast? You could help yourself to cereal, just be careful pouring the milk."

"Why did you hit him?"

Kate's heart sank.

"You shouldn't hit people. Just like I shouldn't hit Kirin." Kate thought about trying to explain. She couldn't. "You're right, Tommy. I shouldn't have hit Jack."

"You should tell him sorry."

"Yes." If he comes back. He had to come back.

"I'll get breakfast," Tommy said. "I'll bring you cereal." By mid-afternoon there was still no sign of Jack. The temperature dropped again. All they'd eaten were frosted flakes and an apple. She kept Tommy on her lap, wrapped them both in the comforter, sang songs and told him stories. Kate didn't want him to wander around the house on his own and was relieved he didn't seem keen to leave her side.

He understood she was trapped and tried to look after her. Once, when a few tears escaped, he put his arms around her neck and hugged her. He kissed the salty drops away and Kate guessed his mother had done that for him. She rocked him. Tommy looked a little like her around the mouth. Could he be hers? She'd always accepted what her parents told her. They'd taken her home before the doctors wanted her to leave and maybe that was to stop her asking awkward questions.

Neither of her parents had ever brought up the pregnancy or the birth. They didn't just want to sweep it under the carpet, they wanted it buried under the house's foundations. A tear dropped from her face onto Tommy's. Kate wiped it away. Pretending none of it happened was as bad as the way they'd made her feel for being pregnant. She hadn't asked to be raped. She hadn't wanted to be pregnant. For months she'd cried every night, burying her face in her pillow, giving in to a silent out-pouring of emotion that left her exhausted. Why had she missed the bus? Why hadn't she fought harder? Why hadn't she screamed, made more noise?

When Kate heard a car she was torn. If she shouted for help and it was Jack, he might hit her. If she didn't shout and it was a stranger, he might think no one was home and drive away. In the end, fear silenced her. When the generator started up, she sighed in relief. Tommy woke when the bathroom shutters clicked into place and Kate blinked as light flooded the room. Tommy climbed out of the tub into her lap. Kate's pulse rocketed. She had no idea what to expect.

"Daddy's home," Jack called from the other room.

"Daddy!"

Tommy ran out of the bathroom. Kate noticed the slight hesitation at the door and hoped Jack hadn't. A few moments later, Tommy ran back in wearing a cowboy hat, brandishing a toy gun in one hand and a knife in the other.

"Look what I got," he shouted. "Watch." He pressed the knife into Kate's leg and laughed when the blade disappeared. Kate held herself rigid as the breath caught in her throat.

"Doesn't hurt, see." He showed Kate how the soft blade slipped into the handle before running back to the other room.

Kate heard Jack moving around. It sounded like he was making the fire.

"Has Mommy been good while I was away?" she heard him ask.

"Real good," Tommy said.

"What have you been up to?"

"I slept in the tub."

"Not in your bed?"

"I looked after Mommy. I got her coffee."

Jack laughed. "What have you been talking about?" A thousand butterflies danced in her stomach.

"The rabbit who couldn't find his way home and he asked a chipmunk and the chipmunk didn't know, so he asked a horse and the horse didn't know and he asked an owl and-"

"I get the idea. Open those bags over there. I bought something for you."

"More presents?"

"Yep."

Jack appeared at the door of the bathroom. He'd dyed his hair back to what she presumed was the natural color. He looked older.

"Worried I wouldn't come back?"

He bent to uncuff her. "Look what a mess you've made of your wrist. The key's the only way to get out, Kate, unless you saw off your hand." Jack pulled her up. Her legs buckled and she'd have fallen if Jack hadn't caught her. He held her against him, his mouth inches from hers.

"What would you have done if I hadn't come back?" He twisted a strand of her hair between his fingers and pulled until it hurt.

"Don't know," she whispered.

"What else can I open?" Tommy shouted.

"Anything you like." Jack propelled Kate out of the bathroom.

Piles of plastic bags lay everywhere. He'd probably spent all her money and expect her to be grateful. But Kate really was thankful he'd come back because her plan had been to wait three days, let Tommy bring her a hammer and she'd smash the bones in her hand until it went through the cuff.

"There's a present for Mommy, too." Jack handed her a Wal-Mart bag.

Kate struggled to get the bag open, then wished she hadn't. She took out a framed wedding photo. She wore a long white dress and carried flowers and couldn't remember any of it.

"That's Mommy and Daddy," Jack told Tommy who'd come to see what they were looking at.

"Was I there?" Tommy asked.

"You were sleeping," Jack said.

Kate stared hard at the photograph. Why couldn't she remember? It was like a jigsaw puzzle in her mind with all the pieces there, yet she couldn't fix them together. Her fingers felt for the ring. Why did he need to marry her? Why was it worth the risk of her saying or doing something to mess things up?

Jack made another trip out to the car. This time he came back with groceries and a scooter for Tommy who looked as though he could burst with happiness.

"Oh, just what I always wanted. Can I ride on it?" Jack locked it in the upright position and Tommy immediately took off around the room. When Kate saw the quantity of food, she wondered if Jack was preparing for a siege.

"Why do we need so much stuff?" Tommy asked, propping his chin on the table by her side.

"It's a long way to the store so we can't go shopping very often," Kate said.

"I like those," Tommy said as Kate unpacked three large boxes of different varieties of cereal.

When Jack returned from another trip outside, probably to disable the car, he shook flecks of white from his jacket. "It's snowing." Tommy gasped, dropped his scooter and bolted for the door. He stopped at the threshold and stood open-mouthed.

"Real snow," he whispered.

Kate came up behind him. Fat flakes floated down from a leaden sky.

"We can go for a walk, but you have to put on the warm clothes I bought," Jack said.

"What if it goes away?" Tommy asked Kate.

"It won't for a while." She stared at the sky. Any amount of snow made escape more difficult.

While Jack got the stove going and stoked the fire, Kate filled the cupboards and fridge. Jack had bought warm clothing for all of them, plus T-shirts, pants, and sweaters for Tommy. The boy sat on the rug, struggling to get into a sweater, surrounded by a sea of packaging and the pile of things he'd unwrapped- football, jigsaw puzzles, crayons and cars.

"Is it Christmas?" he asked.

"Not yet." Jack laughed.

Tommy bounced with excitement as Kate dressed him in his new clothes. Jack had the sizes right. He had hers right, too. Kate stood in front of the blazing fire and shivered. He'd bought her a red jacket, gloves, and a hat. She couldn't do up the zipper on the fleece. Jack had to help her.

He slid his hands over her breasts and squeezed hard. "I missed these." Once the door opened, Tommy raced down the steps and out into the yard, running in circles before he skidded to a halt. Kate watched as he held out his gloved hands to catch the snow, and then lifted his face to the sky. She smiled as he put out his tongue.

"Got one," he shouted. "I want to make a snowman."

"You're already a snowman," Jack said.

Tommy ran back to Kate, tugging on her hand. "Hurry."

The snow had begun to disguise their surroundings, settling on the roof of the storage shed, gathering on the window ledges and dusting the pile of logs in the yard.

Tommy jumped up and down. "I want to make a snowman."

"When there's more snow," Kate said.

The three of them walked toward the lake, Jack holding Kate's gloved hand and Tommy running on ahead. Kate felt ill and exhausted, aching so much she was barely able to put one foot in front of the other. Tommy raced around like an excited puppy, seeking out any place snow accumulated. The snow fell faster, the air so thick it was hard to make out where they were. Kate had never seen snow falling like this.

By the time they got to the water, it was almost a blizzard, but Tommy was having the time of his life. Jack put his arm around her as they walked along the shore toward the dock.

"Can we go look in the boat house?" Tommy asked.

"No, not today," Jack said.

Tommy ran to it and pulled at the door. It was padlocked, but moved as he tugged, so he banged it.

"Stop that," Jack called.

Tommy continued to swing. Kate felt the change in Jack. His whole body tensed like an animal about to pounce.

"Do as you're told," Jack shouted. "It's not safe." Jack shot after Tommy and Kate followed. She mustered all the energy she could, determined to outrun Jack.

"You do as I say," Jack snapped, reaching for him.

Kate pulled Tommy behind her. "Don't. He's only three. If you want to hit someone, hit me."

She stood on her toes, almost nose to nose with Jack, willing him to listen.

Behind her, Tommy clutched at her legs, pressing himself against her pants.

"Please, Jack. If you want him to love you, be kind to him." He sneered. "That doesn't work though, does it? I was kind to you. I found your son, returned him to you and you tried to kill me."

Kate swallowed the words she wanted to spit at him. "I'm sorry for hitting you. I shouldn't have done it."

"You mean that? Or maybe you're sorry you didn't hit me hard enough." Jack started to push her aside and Kate caught his arm.

"Tommy, throw snow in the water and watch what happens," she said.

She felt the pressure on her legs ease, but didn't dare take her eyes off Jack.

Kate knew she had to keep trying. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I was scared. When I'm frightened, I don't know what I'm doing." Jack glared at her. "Is that right?"