"I'll protect you," said Cecil, laying his hand over mine.

I whipped my hand away. "Cecil!"

On Blackberry Night, the lads and la.s.ses run barefoot through the swamp, pretending to try to catch the Devil; but it would appear the Devil catches them instead, for they consume quant.i.ties of beer and wine, and they shed their clothes, and there are always a number of surprise weddings come Advent.

How does Father feel about Blackberry Night?

He's against it.

"I'm so in love with you," said Cecil.

I looked into his fallen-angel eyes. How convenient if I could fall madly for him. I could marry into stained gla.s.s and a lawn made of money.

"All the more reason I should decline your kind invitation." What did regular girls see in him that I didn't?

"I won't touch you," he said. "I'll protect you."

Some girls choose to marry into stained gla.s.s without the madly-fallen bit. But I, at least, would need quite a lot of stained gla.s.s.

"I can protect myself."

"You don't know Blackberry Night," he said. "You'll find, I think, that your father has kept you rather ignorant of the world outside the Parsonage."

There wasn't enough stained gla.s.s in the world that would convince me to marry Cecil Trumpington: aspiring highwayman and prig.

"I know more than you give me credit for," I said.

This was the wrong thing to say. It was provocative. It made Cecil lean in still farther and say, "Do you," with a most unpleasant inflection on the do.

Cecil teased me to reveal my worldly knowledge, and I found amusing ways to sidestep his questions, and on we went with this for quite a while until it occurred to me that this is what is called flirting.

It's a tedious exercise.

It takes no more than a single brain cell to flirt, making it perfect for Cecil and leaving me another few billion to admire the paper napkins, which Eldric had folded into paG.o.das. To smile at the long-toed dragon feet Eldric had crafted for the braziers. Their claws were painted gold. And to glance from time to time at Eldric and Leanne. Mostly they were wandering about drinking champagne, but I once caught her hiding from Mad Tom behind Eldric. What? The superb horsewoman afraid of poor Mad Tom? She did look ridiculous.

I was jealous, wasn't I? I wanted to be Eldric's only friend. But that's not the way the world works, Briony. You have only one friend, but regular people have dozens.

Yes, I was jealous. I was practicing one of the seven deadly sins (although it doesn't actually take much practice). I probably had all seven.

Anger?

Absolutely. I was especially gifted there. So have a care, Briony! You don't want to blow them all to cinders.

Gluttony?

Just look at my shining plate.

Pride?

Absolutely. I hated myself, but I also loved myself in a hateful way. I loved being clever, I loved being special, I loved being a witch.

l.u.s.t?

Don't think about that! But my eyes wandered to Eldric and Leanne. Had they done what Pearl and Artie had done? Stop, Briony! Bad things happen when you're jealous.

Cecil leaned in too close. I felt his hot breath on my cheek. Why didn't I care whether he'd engaged in the Pearl-and-Artie activity? "You've gone all dreamy," he said.

I leaned away. He'd gone all l.u.s.ty.

"I can't take my eyes off Leanne," I said. Look at someone else, Cecil. "Don't you think her beautiful?" Don't l.u.s.t after me, Cecil. I'm not a regular girl.

"Too bold for my taste." Cecil took possession of my hand again, tugged me toward him. "I prefer the white G.o.ddess style."

The white G.o.ddess rose, the Brownie rose. "What did I say about forcing me about? Are you tipsy?"

"Not tipsy!" said Cecil. "No, not that, and I promise I won't-Look here, I'll fetch you a sweet!"

He leapt up, bounded for the sweets table. It looked very much as though he was drunk. But he bounded steadily enough (for a bounder, that is), and he returned with three dishes of trifle, Eldric, and Leanne.

They'd been playing at Metaphor, which had set them to laughing immoderately and sploshing champagne everywhere except inside of themselves. Just as well, perhaps, as I suspected they already had plenty inside. Eldric pulled out a chair for Leanne, but she preferred to stand, and so, of course, did he.

"Leanne is a Klimt, of course," said Eldric.

"Is she?" I'd never heard of a Klimt, but I was in no danger of exposing my ignorance, for Eldric staggered into an explanation of what was Klimt-ish about her.

It seemed that Klimt was a painter in Vienna, and it also seemed that Eldric had visited Vienna. He'd told Leanne but not me. Eldric knew just how Klimt would paint Leanne, which was all in gold, with flowers growing from her hair, and he'd arrange her clothes, just so- Leanne interrupted. "She's a little young for Klimt, don't you think?"

"Oh sorry, sorry, so sorry!" said Eldric.

Eldric was tipsy. Cecil was something else.

I was young, I was dressed in white, I was an underdone sugar cookie next to Leanne's shot-silk taffeta, glinting blue and green, except that there were fewer glints than there might have been, which was because there wasn't as much taffeta as there might have been, which was because Leanne wore her skirts right up to her ankles, quite exposing her enormous feet.

"But I found myself stuck on the sculpture," said Eldric, and for a moment I pictured him impaled on a monument, until I realized that he was still playing at Metaphor. "What sculpture would Leanne be, do you think? You're so clever, Briony, you'll know at once."

An old one, missing its head.

"Unlike you, I haven't traveled," I said, and dug into my trifle, which I'd ordinarily have enjoyed, as it was simply bursting with cream and custard and rum. But I wore white and I'd never been to Vienna, so what was the point of anything?

"I know what Briony would be," said Cecil. "She'd be a Dresden figurine."

"One of those dancing ladies?" I said. "They're not sculptures, and anyway, I'd end up breaking myself."

"I absolutely must step away from the fire," said Leanne, shaking her laughing hair and looking at Eldric with her curling eyes. As the two of them moved back, Mr. Clayborne joined us to wish Leanne a very happy birthday.

"It's your birthday?" I said.

"Tomorrow, actually," said Leanne.

"We're going to raise a gla.s.s at midnight," said Eldric.

This was a birthday party. I was glad her birthday was tomorrow, which was the first day of August. I didn't want her to have been born in July. July was a jolly sort of month, not all hot and puffed up on itself.

Oh, August One! I remembered making Eldric laugh that day in the Alehouse, when I was guessing at his birthday. And here we were: Leanne was an August One. Wouldn't Eldric remember how we'd laughed?

I paid little attention to the conversation, although I did hear Mr. Clayborne say that Eldric looked perfectly dreadful, which I'm glad to say he did.

"Briony!"

I jumped, but it was only Rose, tugging at my sleeve, announcing that the Mirk and Midnight Hour was upon us.

I pressed my hands to my ears. What had I been thinking-or not thinking! I'd let Rose's ten o'clock bedtime slide by, but Rose had kept an eye on the clock. She'd warned me of the midnight chimes.

My hands on my ears hardly m.u.f.fled the chimes, which are wonderfully penetrating. So was Eldric's voice, calling for attention. "Let us raise our gla.s.ses to Leanne on this, her twenty-third birthday!"

"Why, Eldric!" cried Cecil. "I never thought you'd take up with an older woman!"

That's about as clever as Cecil gets, but everyone laughed. It was the champagne, no doubt. Cecil positively glowed. I do have to admit he has lovely skin.

Rose pulled my hands from my ears.

Eldric acknowledged Cecil with a flat Cheshire Cat smile, then tugged it into a real smile as he saluted Leanne with his gla.s.s. "To Leanne, the best companion a man could ever have."

The guests broke into a chaos of laughter and teasing. Eldric blushed. Leanne didn't. Perhaps she runs on petrol, not blood.

Eldric had been thinking of Leanne that night, the night of our communion, the night of the b.i.t.c.h. He hadn't been communing with me at all. He'd been communing with thoughts of Leanne.

"The party's over." Rose's voice was choked with tears. "And Robert didn't come."

"The party's not over," I said, which was idiotic, as I oughtn't to encourage Rose to stay up.

"Yes, it is," said Rose. "It's always over at the Mirk and Midnight Hour."

"Let's go, then." I couldn't bear to look at Eldric with Leanne anymore. I was jealous. And why not?

There are no preconditions for jealousy. You don't have to be right, you don't have to be reasonable. Take Oth.e.l.lo. He was neither right nor reasonable, and Desdemona ended up dead. I wouldn't mind Leanne ending up dead. I wouldn't mind exploding her into fireworks of peac.o.c.k and pearl.

Who cares about pearls, anyway? They're overrated, in my opinion. What is a pearl but a bit of sand and oyster spit?

Rose and I went inside. I didn't say good-bye. This is the advantage of having a sister like Rose. You never have to say good-bye.

Up we went, up the crumple of stairs to our room, with Rose crying the whole time and worst of all, the Brownie following. He wasn't begging yet, but he soon would be, begging for his story.

"Read me a story," said Rose.

"But Rose-"

"Please, mistress!" When the Brownie looked up, one saw mostly the sharp tip of his long nose. "Make me my sweet story!"

"There are no stories!" I spoke to Rose, of course, only to Rose. The Brownie needn't think I was speaking to him.

I said what I always said about the books having burnt, and Rose said what she always said about wishing her book had burnt, and I didn't ask what I always don't ask, which is what on earth is her book? Then I laid myself down where I belonged, on my side of the do-not-cross line. I belonged in the imprint of my own self, which as always, was right next to Rose.

17.

Mooncrumbs I awoke at once. Darkness leaned on me, panting in my ear. I looked over the do-not-cross line into the moonlit window. Eldric's face floated in the gla.s.s. I clutched the neck of my nightdress before sliding out of bed. There was too much Briony, too little nightdress.

I pulled at the cas.e.m.e.nt, released his face from the gla.s.s. He reached through the window, his beautiful hand, his five beautiful fingers outspread. If I were a poet, I'd write about hands, nothing but hands. I touched the whorled petals of my fingertips to his; our hands made the roof of a house.

But, wait: Eldric had been ill only five days ago, the night of the garden party. How could he be so entirely recovered?

"The time has come," he whispered. "Time for wolfgirl to come into the night."

Into the night! An electrical thrill ran between my shoulder blades. "But my nightdress?"

"Into the night!"

I gave him my hand. My whorled fingertips bloomed. Into the night!

The roof was slippery with moonlight. A skitter of roofs ran below, the view spattered with dormers, chimneys, corbels, oriels. Our descent was planned in ingenious bad-boy fashion. Ropes ran over the roofs, dipped over edges to roofs below, where other ropes waited.

Eldric showed me his bad-boy technique. You lay your middle on the rope and squizzle yourself along the rope and over the edge. It is generally thought a good idea to hold tight.

Down he went. I did the same. You might read about such an adventure in a book, but it's different in the moonlight, different to experience it in three dimensions-the rope pressing into your middle, feeling thicker than it looked; the slates too, larger than you'd imagined, smelling of dampness and stored-up weather. Your nightdress bunching up beneath as you slip over the edge, and the pa.s.sing thought that at least you're wearing undergarments of an unventilated variety. Your feet finding a knot in the rope, which you don't need, but getting another little thrill when you realize that the lion boy-man attended to every detail with you in mind.

Eldric would never plan an initiation for Leanne. He never could. Even if Leanne didn't mind sacrificing her blue-green skirts to the rooftops, she'd never be able to haul herself up and down ropes. She had too much heft up top.

I was fast, I was strong. I almost laughed to see Eldric strolling about on the roof below, as though he weren't tensed to leap should I fall. But I had my own bad-boy muscles. He'd learn to trust them as I did.

We scribbled down the last ropes, tumbled into the garden, which was heavy with the scent of azaleas. Eldric must be feeling very much recovered indeed, to have arranged not only for a full moon, but one of unusual brightness. She was dazzling, glinting off the Flats and the Quicks.

I looked at Eldric. The moon hung in his eyes.

"Into the Slough, wolfgirl!"

Into the Slough!

Impossible that Eldric could love Leanne. Not a girl who thrilled to the hanging of a witch. Not a girl who in the land of metaphor game was a motorcar.

"Bible Ball first." Eldric s.n.a.t.c.hed a gossamer bag from some fold of air.

From what I understand, motorcars are all hot air and rude noises, vented from certain unmentionable regions.