The fire was lit, the big barbecue too and the smell of wood smoke and cooking drifted over us all. My hair would stink all night but I didn't care. Cherri and I sat together, drinking from the same bottle of beer and although everyone acted friendly they left us to ourselves. Even Jeff and Chrissy accepted what we'd become; maybe because no kids remained; maybe because we'd all changed over the summer. We sat on a coat on the grass and talked about after. It was the word of the evening, everyone talking about what they'd be doing after camp.

"What are you doing next, Dani?" Jeff asked when I went to the grill for a burger with cheese.

"College."

"And Cherri?" He assumed I was as familiar with her plans as my own.

"She's going to try and make it as a singer."

"Yeah? Good for her. Tell her good luck from me."

"I will."

I wandered off, guilty because Jeff and Chrissy were so friendly tonight, trying not to think of what I had to do tomorrow, how to get Jack's pictures back, weird talking to them both, knowing what I knew about them.

Walking back to our spot Mandy came up to me, unsteady on her feet, obvious she'd been taking advantage of the free beer.

"Dani. Hi. Wanted to say bye."

"You're not going tomorrow?"

"Early Monday. I've got a long flight from LAX."

"You're gonna have a long day."

"Tell me. Fourteen hours with a stopover in New York. And when I get home I'll be jet-lagged to buggery."

I laughed, always amused when she unwittingly used an English phrase meaning something else over here. "Write me, won't you?" We'd all exchanged addresses, I had over a dozen scribbled in back of my new notebook under the f-stop and speed notes. Writing her details under Cherri's.

"Of course I will," Mandy said. "I'm going to miss you both."

Mandy came close and hugged me. Hugged me tight. Her big breasts flattened against mine, her mouth pecked my cheek then moved and kissed my mouth. I didn't kiss back, but she wanted me to, and I was tempted, Mandy sexy the way slightly big girls sometimes are, comfortable with her body and over summer Cherri and I had worked out she wasn't into men. She'd never been as explicit as tonight, but an undercurrent had always been around. Like me, the friend back home a smokescreen; although when I thought back Mandy never assigned a sex to her friend.

I felt wetness against my cheek and pulled back.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, Dani, nothing at all. I'm just going to miss you all so much. This summer has been... fucking awesome!" She flushed, the expletive the first time I'd ever heard her deliberately cuss. She grinned. "Oops."

I laughed and hugged her, let my hand brush against her breast and she reddened even more and I wondered what the hell I was doing because I didn't want to sleep with her, but I'd changed so much over the summer, like us all I guess. I'd arrived shy and uncertain, thinking I was one thing and now leaving knowing I was something else, not yet sure what to make of the revelation, not sure I wanted to be what I was. Cherri had changed me, but not just Cherri. I had changed myself. Something about the summer had loosened the internal ties to set my true nature free. I had discovered my locked up sensuality. Cherri had released something wilder I was still attempting to come to terms with, unsure if the wildness was a part of me or something responding to Cherri.

"If you ever get to England, you have to call me." Mandy drew me back from my thoughts. A good thing.

"I will."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I hugged her, kissed her again, this time I the one leading. Mandy's lips were sweet, her mouth tasting of mint and beer and when her lips parted I let my tongue explore a little. I pulled away before things went too far and Mandy muttered that I really did have to call her and as I walked back to find Cherri I wondered if I would. The idea excited me, glad Cherri would be sharing my bed tonight because once more wetness formed between my legs and my nipples tingled. I wondered could a girl suffer dehydration from over-arousal?

Cherri was where I'd left her. I passed on Jeff's wishes, handed her half the burger and she handed me a fresh bottle of beer.

"I saw Mandy," I said, sitting down beside Cherri. "She's leaving first thing."

"I like Mandy." Cherri's words slurred a little and she must have drunk more beer while I'd been away.

"Me too."

"Should'a had a threesome, would've been cool."

A week before I'd have been embarrassed, the old Dani Walker. "Too late now."

"Probably."

I glanced at Cherri, face splashed by firelight, a glint in her eye that might have been wickedness or more likely only firelight.

"You don't mean that."

"No?" She took a long pull of beer.

"How come you're the sexual predator all of a sudden?"

"I'm not."

"You want me and you to fuck Mandy, and you're not a predator?"

"How d'you know I meant me and you?"

I pushed her with my elbow and she rolled sideways.

"Hey, watch the beer." She held her bottle upright even though she lay on her side. I reached over and pulled her upright, glanced around and kissed her quickly while no-one was looking.

"Besides," Cherri said as our lips broke, "it's only predatory if she doesn't want us. And Mandy wants us. You know she does."

The ache between my legs grew more insistent, Cherri dropping images into my mind, the images forming and growing like fractals. I swallowed beer so I didn't have to say anything, but Cherri was on the case now.

"I bet she's hot in the sack."

"You think?"

"English girls. College educated. Everyone knows they're hot."

I laughed. "Christ, Cherri, you sure can generalize."

She laughed. "It's true! I bet she's fuckin' hot. Come on Dan, let's fuck her tonight."

"It's you I... want." I'd almost gone and said love.

"Me too babe. I wouldn't fuck her on my own, only with you. But you want to, don't you? Come on, I know you do."

I shrugged. "I guess she is hot."

Cherri roared with laughter, drawing glances from around the fire and I poked her with my elbow again but she was ready this time and stayed upright.

"Are we gonna do it then?"

"What if she doesn't want to?"

Cherri laughed again, covering her mouth this time. "You're hot for her, Dan, I know you are. Okay. I'll take the lead, let's see what happens."

I drank my beer, not trusting myself to speak. On the far side of the fire Greg argued with Sara. They'd been a constant throughout summer, something I was grateful for because without Sara Greg would have been even more antagonistic. Now they were falling out. I watched as they stood face to face, their body language obvious, mouths working as they argued and then Sara said something and slapped Greg's face. As she spun away he grabbed for her, caught her arm and I thought Greg might hit Sara but he only hissed something in her ear and let go. Sara's head dropped. She turned slowly, moved away, and Greg straightened his shoulders, a smile playing on his handsome mouth. He turned and stared across the fire directly at me and the smile grew to a grin. I turned away, not wanting him to know I'd been watching.

Around eleven the fire had burned down to embers, the barbecue coals stopped glowing and white ash caught in the wind and eddied up from the grill. The night grew cold, another frost coming and I stood and offered a hand to help Cherri stand.

"We still on?" she asked as we started up the track to our cabin.

I walked with my hands in my pockets, cold now. "I guess." I hardly recognized myself any longer, but I liked the new me, liked being able to say what I thought, liked not being timid.

"God, I need to pee like fuck." Cherri ran ahead into the dark and I laughed.

"You need to get better control of your bladder," I called after her.

"I'm only small," she called back, her voice faint.

I slowed my pace, enjoying the darkness, the quiet night around me. Wind soughed faintly in the tree tops. Small waves lapped on the lake shore. Scattered lights shone from the cabins still occupied. I stopped and turned back, gazing down over the camp, arms hugged around myself to retain a little warmth. I'd miss this place, but anticipating college, new experiences, new chances to make a place for myself in the world, wondering if a place existed for Cherri too. We couldn't just end. I felt so deeply about heraloved her, believed she loved meathis couldn't be the end for us.

I grinned, shocked and excited, experiencing a sensation which had been coming increasingly to me the last few weeks, a sense of free-falling, of letting go. The old Dani would have been scared to lose control. The new one relished it.

Lights came on in the Simmons's place and my stomach turned over, remembering something else we needed to work out, and fast, tomorrow.

I shivered and turned back just as something big came out of the darkness and barreled into me. I flew through the air and landed hard on my side, knocking most of the breath from me. Whatever hit me followed through and landed on top. I panicked, scared a bear or a cougar had come from the woods, drawn by the scent of barbecue, hungry and ready for meat. But it wasn't an animal, what attacked me was worse than an animal, it was Greg.

"Hey, Dani... ready to say goodbye?"

I twisted round and swung my hand to slap him but he caught my wrist easily, pushed my arm back onto the damp grass.

"You want me, Dani. Don't pretend you forgot how good we were together. I still think about you, I think about you all the time."

"Let. Me. Go." I wriggled, grunting each separate word out.

Greg laughed. "I love when you pretend this way. Really turns me on. Turns you on too, doesn't it? Let's get these clothes off you." He grabbed my other wrist, holding both in one big hand, the other unbuttoning the front of my shirt, not trying to be gentle, buttons popping and cotton tearing, cold night air against my chest and belly. Greg grabbed a breast and squeezed painfully.

I took a lungful of air.

"Don't scream, Dani. Don't even think about screaming."

I let most of the air out. "Or what?" This more violent than the first time Greg raped me, but I was a different person now. I'd be putting up a lot more fight this time.

"Be a shame to mess up your pretty face, but I will if you scream."

"Fuck you!"

"Yeah, exactly. How rough you want me to be, Dani?"

I lifted my knee but despite his drunkenness Greg reacted too fast and rolled aside. Somehow he managed to keep hold of my wrists but my legs worked free and I tried another kick, caught him on the shin and he grunted.

"Bitch." He slapped me. Not on the face, on the breast, hurting even more than if he'd hit my cheek. Still grasping my wrists Greg used his free hand to unzip his pants, working them awkwardly down his thighs. His cock sprang out hard and ready and he walked on his knees so it lay close to my face. He worked on the buttons of my pants, tugged the zipper down and pulled at them but I pressed my butt against the grass and he couldn't expose me further without releasing my wrists. We stayed that way for a moment, Greg obviously struggling with what to do next and I wriggled harder, one hand starting to work free.

Greg stopped struggling with my pants and grabbed tighter around my wrists, my break for freedom forestalled. He shuffled closer, the glistening head of his cock brushing against my cheek and I turned my head away.

"No, no, no. You want this. Open up, Dani."

"You put that anywhere near my mouth and I'll bite it off."

Greg chuckled. "Playing rough, yeah, you like playing rough don't you?" He rocked his hips, his cock sliding across my cheek, thigh pressing against my neck and the smell of his arousal, rank and sharp, made me want to throw up. A fleeting image of Jack arced through my mind, of what his cock might feel and taste like in my mouth, of how I wanted that, of how I did not want this, determined Greg wasn't going to humiliate me as he had before. I flung myself from side to side, frantic now to break free, Greg's cock jabbing into my eye socket, tangling through my hair but I kept fighting and he had to use both hands now to hold my arms, had to move away and use his legs to pin me down.

I couldn't escape.

I went still, breathing hard, Greg's chest heaving above me.

"My, my, you've turned into a wildcat. I might just have to knock you out again."

I spat in his face.

"Again," he said, and I almost did until I realized that was exactly what he wanted.

"Get off me!"

Greg laughed. "Or what?"

I drew a lungful of air again and Greg released one wrist and cupped his hand over my nose and mouth. I tried to scream around his palm but the sound emerged muffled. I tried to bite his hand but he moved away, brought it back before I could call out. He put his weight behind his arm, pressing down painfully, my chin pushed sideways, nose flattened and mouth closed, blocking off all airways. My chest heaved, craving oxygen, and I stared up as realization dawned in Greg's eyes of what he was doing, expecting the pressure to ease as soon as he saw I couldn't breathe but instead he hunched over, adding more weight and if I could I would have screamed in agony at the pain lancing through my face.

"Now who's in charge?"

Greg began to move against me, his stiff cock rubbing along my belly. My chest heaved, fighting for air, but none came. Greg watched me closely as I fought, stared into my eyes, trying to gauge when I might pass out. The pain began to ease, not because he let up but because my body started shutting down. Tingling in my fingers and toes bled inward along my arms. The dark night sparked with lights but they were inside my head. Greg spoke again, still humping against me, but his words came from a distance, making no sense and I grew warm, the tingling reaching my shoulders and hips, moving on, coming to still my heart and I should have been afraid but nothing seemed worth the effort anymore. I wondered if Greg would rape me after I was dead.

A flare of light haloed Greg's short hair then faded. His face lit up as though illuminated and I stared at him, watching his eyes fade, fade away from me, darkness coming from the edge of my vision, spiraling down, taking me with it. A loud bong sounded, like the dull clang of a bell and I wanted to laugh because the bell tolled for me, calling me to the other side, sad because so much remained I wanted to do; I hadn't even gotten to kiss Mandy's plentiful breasts, touched her ample belly and thighs. I would never get to kiss Cherri again, and at the thought tears sprang into my eyes.

The pressure had gone now. I stared up at the sky, stars framed between moving treetops, watching as lights crossed the darkness and voices spoke distantly.

"I think you've killed him..." Sounded like Cherri, and I wondered if an afterlife existed, if I could stay around and watch the girl I loved more than anything in the world. Maybe that would be enough.

"I don't think so. I didn't hit him so hard."

The ground beneath was cold and I shifted, trying to get comfortable. No point being dead if you couldn't get comfortable.