Chantecler - Part 8
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Part 8

CHANTECLER [_To_ BLACKBIRD.] Fine things we learn when the talk is of you!

THE OLD HEN [_Her head protruding from the basket._] Strike rotten wood, and see the wood-lice scatter! [_The basket-lid drops._]

PATOU [_To_ CHANTECLER.] He laughs at you behind your back!

BLACKBIRD [_To_ PATOU.] Ha, retriever, you retrieve?

PATOU When you pour forth your heart in your ardent cry, giving it over and over, he calls it the same old saw that your jag-toothed red crest stands for!

CHANTECLER So that's what you say?

BLACKBIRD [_Affecting simplicity._] You surely don't mind? How can it affect you?

And a joke about you is always so sure of success!

PATOU [_To the_ BLACKBIRD.] Point-blank, do you admire or despise the c.o.c.k?

BLACKBIRD I make fun of him in spots, but admire him in lump!

PATOU You always peck two kinds of seed.

THE BLACKBIRD My cage has two seed-cups, you see.

PATOU I am single-minded and downright!

THE BLACKBIRD You--are an old poodle of the year 48! I am an up-to-date bird!

PATOU [_Gruffly._] Out of my way! lest I give your black coat red tails!

[_The_ BLACKBIRD _nimbly gets out of the way,_ PATOU _goes into his kennel grumbling._] I'll show him some up-to-date jaws!

CHANTECLER Be quiet! It's his way. The truth is that if once he stood in the presence of beauty, this very Blackbird would applaud!

PATOU Not with both wings! What can you expect of a bird who, with woodbine and juniper full in sight, prefers to go inside and peck at a musty biscuit?

BLACKBIRD He never seems to suspect that the poacher is a blackguardly sort of brute!

PATOU What I know is that the underbrush is all a delicate golden gloom--

THE BLACKBIRD Yes, but leaden shot can cleave your delicate gold. The quail is such a canny bird, that he lies low lest he make his last appearance on toast.

And so, in lack of quail--

PATOU Does the great stag delight any the less in his green forest for turning over among the gra.s.s at evening some bit of a rusty cartridge?

THE BLACKBIRD No, old chap--but the stag, you see, is just another kind of a hat-rack!

PATOU Oh, but freedom, freedom, with violets looking on! Love!--

THE BLACKBIRD Antediluvian pastimes! not nearly such good fun as my nice new wooden trapeze. Oh, my cage, let us sign a joyful three-six-nine years' lease!

I live like a Duke, I have filtered drinking-water--[_At_ PATOU'S _significant start and growl, he springs aside, finishing._] You can sling mud upon me, I have a porcelain bath!

CHANTECLER [_Slightly out of patience._] Why not make a practice of talking simply and to the point?

THE BLACKBIRD I like to make you sit up, and watch you blinking.

PATOU Grrrrr--in the plain interest of public decency, I say it behooves us--

THE BLACKBIRD Don't say behooves, say it's up to you, old chap!

CHANTECLER What's all this juggling with words?

THE BLACKBIRD The thing, Chantecler, quite the thing! I knew a city sparrow once, and it's the way they talk in fashionable circles.

CHANTECLER I was well acquainted with a little red-breast, who lived beneath a city poet's eaves; he did not talk like you.

THE BLACKBIRD I belong to my time. Every chap that's a bit of a swell nowadays must be a bit of a tough. It's smart, you know.

PATOU I froth at the mouth! Smart,--there's the Peac.o.c.k's pa.s.sword!

CHANTECLER Oh, the Peac.o.c.k, by the way, what is he doing these days?

THE BLACKBIRD Ogling with his tail-feathers!

PATOU Baneful his example has been to many an humble heart.

CHANTECLER What signs do you see of his influence?

PATOU A thousand nothings.

THE OLD HEN [_Appearing._] Bubbles floating down the stream tell of laundresses up stream! [_The lid drops._]

CHANTECLER I am sure I have not seen the smallest bubble from which--

PATOU [_Indicating a_ GUINEA-PIG, _who is pa.s.sing._] See there, that Guinea-pig--

CHANTECLER [_Considering him._] What about him? He is just a yellow Guinea-pig!

GUINEA-PIG [_Snippily correcting._] Khaki, if you please!

CHANTECLER [_To_ PATOU.] Kha--?

PATOU A bubble!--And yonder waddling duck--

CHANTECLER [_Looking at him._] He is going to take his bath--

THE DUCK [_Drily._] My tub!

CHANTECLER His--?

PATOU A bubble!