PEAc.o.c.k --a tact for which I stand largely in my own debt, I have const.i.tuted myself Petronius-Priest and Maecenas-Messiah volatile volatiliser of words, and that, jeweled judge, I love by my cameos and filigrees of speech to represent the Taste of which I am the--

PATOU Oh, my poor head!

THE PEAc.o.c.k [_Nonchalantly._]--shall I say guardian?

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Effervescently._] Do say guardian!

THE PEAc.o.c.k No. Thesmothetes. [_Respectful murmur of delight._]

THE GUINEA-HEN [_To the_ PHEASANT-HEN.] Now you have seen our Peac.o.c.k! Aren't you excited?

THE PHEASANT-HEN [_Slightly bored._] Yes,--because I know the c.o.c.k is coming.

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Delighted._] To-day? He is coming to-day? [_She announces to the general company, enthusiastically._] Chantecler!

THE PEAc.o.c.k [_Slightly miffed._] A far greater triumph lies in store for you, fair friend.

THE GUINEA-HEN Triumph? [_The_ PEAc.o.c.k _nods mysteriously._] What triumph?

THE PEAc.o.c.k [_Walking away from her._] You shall see.

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Following him._] Of what triumph are you speaking?

THE PEAc.o.c.k I said, "You shall see!"

MAGPIE [_Announcing._] c.o.c.k Braekel of Campine!

SCENE THIRD

THE SAME, _then gradually the_ c.o.c.kS.

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Stopping short, amazed._] Braekel? At my party? There's some mistake.

THE BRAEKEL c.o.c.k [_Bowing before her._] Madam--

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Breathless with emotion in the presence of this white_ c.o.c.k _braided with black._] This unexpected pleasure--

THE MAGPIE [_Announcing._] c.o.c.k Ramelslohe--

THE GUINEA-HEN Heavens!

THE MAGPIE [_Finishing._]--of the Slate-blue Claw!

THE PEAc.o.c.k [_In the_ GUINEA-HEN'S _ear, while the startling_ RAMELSLOHE _bows._] He is one of the most recent leucot.i.tes!

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Blankly._] A leucot.i.te--How interesting!

THE MAGPIE [_Announcing in a louder and louder, more and more impressive voice._]

c.o.c.k Wyandotte of the Sable Spur! [_Shiver of emotion among the_ HENS.]

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Off her head with excitement._] Heavens and gracious powers--my son!

THE YOUNG GUINEA-c.o.c.k [_Running to her._] Mamma!

THE GUINEA-HEN Wyandotte! c.o.c.k Wyandotte!

THE PEAc.o.c.k [_With a fine carelessness._] c.o.c.k with strawberry coronet, product of Art Nouveau!

THE GUINEA-HEN [_To the newcomers who are surrounded by astonished murmurs._]

Strawberry coronet!--Gentlemen--

THE YOUNG GUINEA-c.o.c.k [_Who has gone to take a look outside._] Mamma!

THE GUINEA-HEN --so kindly condescending to honour my poor house--

THE YOUNG GUINEA-c.o.c.k Mamma, there are still others coming!

THE MAGPIE His lordship, the c.o.c.k--

THE GUINEA-HEN Heavens, what c.o.c.k?

THE MAGPIE c.o.c.k of Mesopotamia with the Double Comb!

THE GUINEA-HEN Double! Oh! [_Dashing to welcome the newcomer._] Charmed, charmed indeed!

THE PEAc.o.c.k Out upon the obsolete! I wished to show you a few young gentlemen slightly superlative and veritably precious.

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Returning to the_ PEAc.o.c.k.] How shall I thank you, Peac.o.c.k, dear friend? [_To the_ PHEASANT-HEN, _patronizingly._] You will excuse me, I know, you charming little thing. You must understand, my dear, that his lordship the c.o.c.k of Mesopotamia has just arrived! [_Running to the_ c.o.c.k, _who bows his two combs._] A proud day for us! Charmed, delighted, enchanted!

MAGPIE c.o.c.k d'Orpington of the Feather-ringed Eye!

THE GUINEA-HEN Feather-ringed--Oh!

THE BLACKBIRD The plot thickens!

THE MAGPIE [_While the_ GUINEA-HEN _is flying toward the_ ORPINGTON c.o.c.k.] Bearded c.o.c.k of Varna!

THE PEAc.o.c.k [_To the_ GUINEA-HEN.] A typical Slav!

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Leaving the_ ORPINGTON _for the_ BEARDED c.o.c.k.] Oh, the Slav soul we have heard so much about! Charmed, beyond words, charmed!

THE MAGPIE Rose-footed Scotch Grey c.o.c.k!

THE GUINEA-HEN [_Leaving the_ BEARDED c.o.c.k _for the_ SCOTCH GREY.] Oh, that rose foot!

I do admire that rose foot! Think of introducing that rose foot at my tea! [_With conviction._] What a social event!