CHAPTER FIVE

Lord Akeldama's Latest

Lord Akeldama was indeed in residence and willing to receive Alexia. Despite the rudeness of her unannounced visit, he seemed genuinely pleased to see her. It was difficult to tell through the vampire's self-consciously frivolous mannerisms, but Alexia thought she detected real warmth beneath the flatterings and flutterings.

The ancient vampire sashayed forward to greet her, both arms extended, dressed in his version of the "casual gentleman at home." For most men of means and taste, this meant a smoking jacket, opera scarf, long trousers, and soft-soled derbies. For Lord Akeldama, this meant that the jacket was of pristine white silk with black embroidered birds of some lean oriental persuasion splashed about, the scarf a bright peac.o.c.k-patterned teal, the trousers the latest in tight-fitting black jacquard, and the shoes cut in a flashy wingtip style with a black and white spectator coloration that was held by many to be rather vulgar.

"My darling darling Alexia. How fortuitous. I have just received delivery of the most divine new Alexia. How fortuitous. I have just received delivery of the most divine new plaything. plaything. You You must must take a gander and give me your expert opinion!" Lord Akeldama addressed Lady Maccon by her given name and had done so since the night they met. And yet, Alexia realized for the first time as she took his hands in a firm grip, she had no idea what his was. take a gander and give me your expert opinion!" Lord Akeldama addressed Lady Maccon by her given name and had done so since the night they met. And yet, Alexia realized for the first time as she took his hands in a firm grip, she had no idea what his was.

At the preternatural contact, Lord Akeldama turned from supernaturally beautiful, his skin ice white and his blond hair shining gold, to the merely pretty young man he had once been before his metamorphosis.

Lady Maccon kissed him softly on both cheeks, as though he were a child. "And how are you this evening, my lord?"

He leaned against her, momentarily calm in his fully human state, before resuming his animated chatter. "Perfectly splendid splendid, my little tea biscuit, perfectly splendid. splendid. There is a mystery waffling about London town, and I am immersed in the thick of it. You know how I do so dearly There is a mystery waffling about London town, and I am immersed in the thick of it. You know how I do so dearly love love a mystery." He kissed her back, a loud smack to the forehead, and then released her hands to curl his arm affectionately with hers. a mystery." He kissed her back, a loud smack to the forehead, and then released her hands to curl his arm affectionately with hers.

"And it has certainly been all abuzz around my humble little abode since the excitement of yesterday." He led her into said abode, which was anything but humble. It had an extravagant arched and frescoed hallway with marble busts of pagan G.o.ds. "I suppose, you you know know all all about it, you high-powered political about it, you high-powered political daffodil daffodil, you."

Alexia loved Lord Akeldama's drawing room, not that she could tolerate it in her own house, but it was a nice place to visit. It was quite old-fashioned in appearance, white and gilded gold like something from a French painting of pre-Napoleonic times.

The vampire unceremoniously ejected a fat calico from her slumbering possession of a gold brocade love seat with ta.s.seled trim and settled gracefully into her place. Lady Maccon seated herself in an armchair nearby, one that felt deliciously thronelike.

"Well, my creamy pudding pudding cup, Biffy told me cup, Biffy told me the the most attractive little story last night." Lord Akeldama's ethereal face was intent under its unnecessary coating of white powder and pink blush. "Quite the bedtime romance." most attractive little story last night." Lord Akeldama's ethereal face was intent under its unnecessary coating of white powder and pink blush. "Quite the bedtime romance."

Lady Maccon was not certain she wanted to hear this story. "Oh, uh, did he? Where is Biffy, by the way? Is he about?"

Lord Akeldama fiddled with his gold monocle. The gla.s.s was, of course, plain. Like all vampires, he had perfect vision. "La, the troublesome boy is causing mischief somewhere not too far away, I am certain. He is in a bit of a kerfuffle over a necktie, but never mind that; you must permit me to tell you what he saw yester eve."

Lady Maccon forestalled him. "Before you do, my lord, might we send round an invitation to a new acquaintance I have made? I should very much like the two of you to know one another."

That stalled Lord Akeldama. "Really, my darling little k.u.mquat, how thoughtful. Who is he?"

"She is one Madame Lefoux." is one Madame Lefoux."

Lord Akeldama smiled slightly at that. "I did hear you had been hat shopping recently."

Alexia gasped. "How did you know that? Oh, how vexatious! Do you mean to say that you are already acquainted with the lady? Madame Lefoux indicated nothing to that effect."

"You can hardly expect me me to reveal to reveal my my sources, snow drop. As to the rest, I do not know her; I merely know sources, snow drop. As to the rest, I do not know her; I merely know of of her, and I should enjoy meeting her socially very much indeed. I hear she affects masculine garb! I shall send a card directly." He reached to pull a small bell rope. "So, do tell: her, and I should enjoy meeting her socially very much indeed. I hear she affects masculine garb! I shall send a card directly." He reached to pull a small bell rope. "So, do tell: what what did you purchase from the did you purchase from the scandalous scandalous Frenchwoman, my little clementine?" Frenchwoman, my little clementine?"

Alexia showed him the parasol.

Lord Akeldama was alarmed by its appearance. "Oh dear, it is rather"-he cleared his throat-"loud, is it not?"

Alexia thought that rich coming from a man wearing black and white wingtip shoes and a teal scarf. She said only, "Yes, but it does the most delicious things." She was about to explain further when a polite knock interrupted them, and Biffy trotted into the room.

"You rang?" Biffy was an agreeable young blunt with stylish proclivities and prodigious physical charms who always seemed to turn up when least expected and most wanted. Had he not been born into wealth and status, he might have made for an excellent butler. He was Lord Akeldama's favorite drone, although the vampire would never confess openly to having favorites any more than he would wear the same waistcoat two days running. Alexia had to admit there was something special about Biffy. He was certainly a dab hand with the curling iron, better at hair arrangements than even the otherwise unparalleled Angelique.

"Biffy, my dove dove, dash round to that scrumptious new hat shop on Regent Street and collect the proprietress for a bit of a hobn.o.b, would you, darling? There's a good fellow. She should be expecting something of the kind."

Biffy smiled. "Certainly, my lord. Good evening, Lady Maccon. Is this arrangement of your making? You know the master here has been dying to meet Madame Lefoux ever since she opened that shop, with no excuse to do so for an age."

"Biffy!" hissed Lord Akeldama.

"Well, you have," replied Biffy truculently.

"Off with you, you impossible infant, and keep that lovely lovely mouth shut." mouth shut."

Biffy bowed shortly and tripped lightly out, lifting his hat and gloves from a nearby side table as he went.

"That young whippersnapper will be the death of me. However, he has an admirable admirable knack for being in the right place at the right time. Yesterday evening, for example, he was outside the Pickled Crumpet, that knack for being in the right place at the right time. Yesterday evening, for example, he was outside the Pickled Crumpet, that horrible horrible little pub near St. Bride, known for a preponderance of military and blood wh.o.r.es. Not his normal watering hole by little pub near St. Bride, known for a preponderance of military and blood wh.o.r.es. Not his normal watering hole by any any means. And you will means. And you will never never guess whom he encountered skulking about the back alleyway, just behind the pub." guess whom he encountered skulking about the back alleyway, just behind the pub."

Lady Maccon sighed. "My husband?"

Lord Akeldama was crestfallen. "He told you."

"No, it simply seems like the exact kind of place where my husband would be skulking."

"Well, let me me tell tell you you, my petunia blossom! Biffy says that he was in a perfectly indelicate condition, trying to make his way toward Fleet Street."

"Inebriated?" Lady Maccon was doubtful. Generally speaking, werewolves were not p.r.o.ne to intoxication. Their const.i.tutions did not allow for it. Besides which, that simply was not like like her husband. her husband.

"Oh no. The poor dear had encountered that disastrous disastrous malady ravaging the downtown area and found himself entirely human and unclothed quite suddenly in the heart of London." malady ravaging the downtown area and found himself entirely human and unclothed quite suddenly in the heart of London."

Lord Akeldama's eyes were twinkling.

Lady Maccon could not help herself; she began to laugh. "No wonder he did not tell me about the incident. Poor thing."

"Not that Biffy complained about the spectacle."

"Well, who would?" Alexia had to give credit where it was due, and her husband did have quite the splendid physique. "That is interesting, though. It means that one does not have to be present when this antisupernatural blight attacks. One can wander into the infected area and be struck down."

"You think it is a disease disease of some kind, do you, my little pumpernickel?" of some kind, do you, my little pumpernickel?"

Lady Maccon c.o.c.ked her head to one side. "I do not know with any certainty what it may be. What do you think it is?"

Lord Akeldama rang a different bell rope for tea. "I believe it to be a weapon of some kind," he said, unusually blunt.

"You have heard of something like it before?" Lady Maccon sat up straight, intent on her friend. Lord Akeldama was a very old vampire. There were rumors he was older even than Countess Nadasdy, and everyone knew she was five hundred or more.

The vampire tossed his queue of long blond hair back off his shoulder. "No, I have not. But it does not have the feel feel of a sickness about it, and my experience with the Hypocras Club has taught me not to underestimate modern scientists and their vulgar technological of a sickness about it, and my experience with the Hypocras Club has taught me not to underestimate modern scientists and their vulgar technological dabblings. dabblings."

Lady Maccon nodded. "I agree, and so does the rest of the Shadow Council. BUR is holding out that it is a disease, but I am leaning in favor of a newly fashioned weapon. Have your boys found out anything of significance?"

Lord Akeldama puffed out his cheeks. He did not like open acknowledgment that his collection of apparently decorative and inconsequential drones, possessed of high family connection and little evident sense, were in fact consummate spies. He resigned himself to Alexia, and, via Alexia, to Lord Maccon and BUR, knowing of his activities, but he did not like them mentioned openly.

"Not as much as I had hoped. Although one of the ships, the Spanker Spanker, transporting multiple regiments and a.s.sociated packs, was said to be afflicted by a human condition human condition the the entire entire pa.s.sage home." pa.s.sage home."

"Yes, Major Channing mentioned something of the kind. Although the Woolsey Pack had returned to supernatural normalcy by the time they reached the castle."

"And what do we we think of Major Channing?" think of Major Channing?"

"We try try not not to think on that repulsive individual at all." to think on that repulsive individual at all."

Lord Akeldama laughed, and a handsome young butler entered with the tea tray. "You know, I once tried to recruit him, decades ago."

"Did you really?" Lady Maccon could not countenance the idea; for one thing, she did not believe Major Channing leaned in Lord Akeldama's direction, although there were rumors about military men.

"He was a splendid splendid sculptor before he turned. Did you know? We all knew he had a good chance of having excess soul; vampires and werewolves were vying to be his patron. Such a sweet young talented thing." sculptor before he turned. Did you know? We all knew he had a good chance of having excess soul; vampires and werewolves were vying to be his patron. Such a sweet young talented thing."

"We are are discussing the same Major Channing, are we not?" discussing the same Major Channing, are we not?"

"He rebuffed me me and went into soldiering, thought it more and went into soldiering, thought it more romantic. romantic. Eventually, he was converted to the fuzzy side of the supernatural during the Napoleonic war." Eventually, he was converted to the fuzzy side of the supernatural during the Napoleonic war."

Alexia was not clear on what to make of this information. So she returned to the original topic. "If it is a weapon, I must find where it has gone. Lyall said it was headed north, and we believe it to be going by coach. The question is, where, and who is carrying it?"

"And what what exactly is it?" added the vampire, pouring the tea. Lady Maccon took hers with milk and a little sugar. He took his with a dash of blood and a squeeze of lemon. exactly is it?" added the vampire, pouring the tea. Lady Maccon took hers with milk and a little sugar. He took his with a dash of blood and a squeeze of lemon.

"Well, if Professor Lyall claims it is heading northward, then northward it is. Your husband's Beta is never never wrong." There was an odd tone in Lord Akeldama's voice. Alexia looked at him sharply. He added only, "When?" wrong." There was an odd tone in Lord Akeldama's voice. Alexia looked at him sharply. He added only, "When?"

"Just before I came here."

"No, no, primrose. I mean, when did it it begin to move northward?" He pa.s.sed a small plate of some excellent biscuits, declining the comestibles himself. begin to move northward?" He pa.s.sed a small plate of some excellent biscuits, declining the comestibles himself.

Lady Maccon did some quick calculations. "Seems like it would have had to depart London late yesterday evening or early this morning."

"Just as the humanization in London stopped?"

"Precisely."

"So what we need to know is what regiments, or packs, or individuals came in on the Spanker Spanker, then proceeded north yesterday morning."

Lady Maccon had a sinking feeling all fingers were about to point in one particular direction. "I place great confidence in the fact that Professor Lyall is already hunting down just that information."

"But you already have a good idea of who the perpetrators might be, don't you, my little periwinkle periwinkle?" Lord Akeldama stopped relaxing back into the love seat and tilted forward to peer at her through his monocle.

Lady Maccon sighed. "Call it instinct."

The vampire smiled, showing his two long fangs, pointed and strikingly lethal. "Ah, yes, your preternatural ancestors were hunters for generations, sugardrop. sugardrop." Delicacy did not permit him to remind her that they hunted vampires.

"Oh no, not that kind of instinct."

"Oh?"

"Perhaps instead I should say 'wifely intuition.' "

"Ah." Lord Akeldama's smile widened. "You believe your oversized husband to be connected to the weapon?"

Lady Maccon frowned and nibbled a biscuit. "No, not exactly, but where my dear spouse goes..." She trailed off.

"You think this whole thing may be connected to his visiting Scotland?"

Alexia sipped her tea and remained silent.

"You think this has something to do with the Kingair Pack losing their Alpha?"

Alexia started. She did not realize that little fact was common knowledge. How did did Lord Akeldama come by his information so quickly? It was really remarkable. If only the Crown could be so efficient. Or BUR for that matter. Lord Akeldama come by his information so quickly? It was really remarkable. If only the Crown could be so efficient. Or BUR for that matter.

"A pack without an Alpha can behave badly, but on this kind of scale? You think-"

Lady Maccon interrupted her friend. "I think Lady Maccon may suddenly feel quite oppressed by the dirty London air. I think Lady Maccon may have need of a vacation. Perhaps to the north? I hear Scotland is lovely this time of year." Lady Maccon may suddenly feel quite oppressed by the dirty London air. I think Lady Maccon may have need of a vacation. Perhaps to the north? I hear Scotland is lovely this time of year."

"Are you barmy? Scotland is wholly abysmal abysmal this time of year." this time of year."

"Indeed, why would one wish to travel there, especially with the trains down?" This was a new voice, tinged with a very faint French accent.

Madame Lefoux had not forgone her men's garb, although she had formalized it for visiting, changing her colorful cravat for one of white lawn and her brown top hat for a black one.

"Lady Maccon fancies herself in need of air," replied Lord Akeldama, rising and going forward to greet his new guest. "Madame Lefoux, I presume?"

Alexia blushed at not having jumped in to make proper introductions, but the other two seemed to have matters well in hand.

"How do you do? Lord Akeldama? A pleasure to make your acquaintance at last. I have heard much of your charms." The inventor gave the vampire's startling black and white shoes and smoking jacket an intent look.

"And I yours," replied the vampire, casting an equally critical eye to the inventor's stylish masculine garb.

Alexia noted a certain undercurrent of wariness, as though they were two vultures circling the same carca.s.s.

"Well, there is no accounting for taste," said the Frenchwoman softly. Lord Akeldama appeared about to take offense, but the lady added, turning slightly to the side, "Scotland, Lady Maccon, are you certain?"

A flash of wary approval crossed the vampire's face at that. "Do sit," he offered. "You smell divine by the way. Vanilla? A lovely scent. And so very feminine. feminine."

Was that a return jibe? wondered Alexia. wondered Alexia.

Madame Lefoux accepted a cup of tea and sat on another little settee, next to the relocated calico cat. The cat clearly believed Madame Lefoux was there to provide chin scratches. Madame Lefoux provided.

"Scotland," replied Lady Maccon firmly. "By dirigible, I think. I shall make the arrangements directly and depart tomorrow."

"You shall find that difficult. Giffard's is not open to nighttime clientele."