"Why don't you invite us girls to play?" Katie asked, her mouth in an exaggerated pout.

"Because it's fun, but painful," Ren said. He looked over to BJ, trying to include him, I guess. "Have you played paintball before?" Ren asked him.

"No, I hunt." His answer was terse.

"He uses real guns," I said, laughing at Ren and Noah.

BJ glanced at me, looking surprised, and then he gave a shy smile. I realized he was quiet because he felt like he didn't fit in. We were Crystal's friends, not his, and he probably didn't know if he would be accepted.

"I've played paintball before," Crystal said. "It hurts and its messy. And I get shot a lot."

"Me too," Ren said.

"Is Kyle coming to the dance?" Crystal asked.

"He's supposed to be," Noah said. "He might be late, though." He scanned the crowd, and I knew he was worried. I was, too.

More people were going out to the dance floor and a beat came on that the girls all knew. We practically jumped out of our seats and started dancing. Ren followed, as well as Noah and BJ, but Steve waited back at the table.

We jumped around, the boys either being deliberately dorky or making fun of grinding. (May I never see Noah do another pelvic thrust as long as I live.) Except for BJ, who danced with all the seriousness of a funeral director.

We kind of danced as a group, not as couples, which was fun. That way Noriko didn't feel left out. She wasn't as crazy as the rest of us, despite her five years of dance. She can do splits and stuff when she wants to, but she won't show off.

When a slow song came on, we had to pair off. Ren asked Noriko to dance and she looked over at me to see if I minded. I waved my hand at her and went to find Steve. He was at the punch bowl, watching a group of girls. I stood next to him, wondering if I should ask him to dance or if he was going to find the courage to ask one of the girls in the group.

I finally asked him if he wanted to dance and he seemed relieved. We didn't so much dance as rock back and forth, but that was all right. I talked about the classes he had and the weather. He dutifully answered my questions, but didn't come alive until I asked how he'd programmed the Matrix onto his calculator. He explained the program and I tried to keep up with him. I was lost pretty quickly, but at least he was having a good time.

I looked over at Ren and Noriko; he was twirling her around as she laughed. I wasn't jealous at all, just happy for her. Somehow I was certain that although Ren enjoyed dancing with her, he'd prefer to be with me.

The fast, jumpy beat started again and we bounced all over the floor. Noah grabbed Katie by the elbows and they did a square dance. He kept a straight, dignified face but Katie laughed and they had to stop.

A slower song came on and this time Ren took my hand. I liked how we didn't have to say anything to each other; we knew this dance was ours. Dancing with him was easy. My hand fit into his and he knew exactly where to hold me. We moved around and past other couples, some of them clinging tightly to each other and kissing and others who seemed awkward and distant with each other.

One couple madly kissed next to us and then their mouths parted and string of spit hung between their lips. Ugh.

I supposed we could kiss. I didn't really want my first kiss to be on the dance floor in front of everyone else. I wanted it to be romantic and unforgettable. Or maybe it would be terrible because I would miss or something. And he'd never kiss me again. That would be horrible. Maybe I could avoid a kiss.

I looked back at Ren and he smiled and twirled me. I did it rather gracefully and somehow my hand returned to his without any effort. My dress swirled around my legs, twisting for a moment and spinning out. It was so fun I tiptoed up to his ear and whispered, "Do it again!"

He laughed and spun me around. Once again I returned to his hands. He tried a few more turns with me and we did them well.

"We're amazing!" I said.

He twirled me again for the compliment and then instead of catching my hand, pulled me in close against him, his hand pressing my back to hold me against him. It was like falling into electricity. I don't think I hid my surprise very well. In fact, I think I kind of stared into his eyes, but he did, too. I stepped away from him and we continued dancing but I didn't want to twirl anymore, I just wanted to feel his hand in mine. I wanted to stop time, to stay where we were. The song ended and he let go of me, our hands sliding apart.

The fast songs started again but I only tolerated them. I wanted to dance slow with Ren. Again and again and again. He must have felt the same way, because he forgot that he was supposed to be gallant and dance with Noriko every and now and then.

We twirled sometimes but he did not pull me in close again, until the last dance, and then he didn't twirl me at all. He held me close against him and put his head down, touching mine. Sadly, the thrill of being heartbeat to heartbeat with him made me completely lose my head and I couldn't think of a single thing to say. Was I supposed to? What would I say anyway? You're the most extraordinary human being ever created? He would think I was joking, and I wasn't.

The thought of his mouth on mine made me even more light-headed. Was he thinking about it?

The last dance ended and we stepped away from each other. There was a thick tension between us even though we were no longer touching. He took my hand and led me back to our table, where the rest of the crew was waiting.

The lights turned on and it was suddenly less magical. In the bright lights I could see sweat stains on the guys' shirts and mascara getting a little blurry under the girls' eyes. Ren, however, was only more bright, his hair darker and his eyes more intense. He defied even the magic-sucking lights.

Crystal sighed, her arm twined around BJ's. "I hate for it to end."

Steve checked his watch. "You have six more minutes."

Noah and Katie looked at each other, stifling their laughter.

"That means my dad is coming soon," I said, echoing Crystal's sigh of disappointment. "I'd better say goodbye."

I hugged all the girls and Steve, who bent his arms around me so stiffly it was like wood cracking. As Ren and I walked away I looked back and saw Katie scrunching her nose at me.

Although he held my hand I felt awkward, as if we were supposed to do something now that we were alone-probably the dreaded kiss. I was nervous because I wanted him to but I wasn't sure he wanted to and if he didn't I would be crushed.

The entrance was crowded with people and I realized we weren't going to be alone before my dad picked me up. We waited by the doors, watching for my dad's car because it was too cold to wait outside. He held my hand and rubbed my palm again, but this time it was comforting.

"Delaware does pretty good with Homecoming," he said, looking down at me with a smile.

"Has your old high school had Homecoming yet?"

"Yeah. I was feeling sorry for myself until tonight. Now I feel sorry for them. I got to be with you."

I couldn't stop the dumb, goofy, idol-worshipping smile that took over my face. I bit my lip to regain my composure, but the grin wouldn't go away. "Ditto."

He laughed. "Wow. I was hoping for a little more than that."

"Like?"

"Ummm, best night of my life, you're so hot, blah blah blah."

I tried to look incredulous but I was smiling. "Really?"

"Really." A flash of seriousness broke through his teasing and my already racing heart found a quicker pace. Ren Tanaka, with his perfect answer for everything, needed to hear me say what I'd been dying to tell him. I was awestruck, and hopelessly shy.

I swallowed. "Then it was the best night of my life, and you are so hot. Blah blah blah. And I'm so lucky. Blah blah blah."

He leaned down, his forehead against mine. "Hey," he said softly. "You added extra."

"Yeah." It was all I could manage.

He closed his eyes and I stopped breathing. He moved his forehead away from mine and opened his eyes, looking into mine. Was he going to...

"You're dad's here."

I looked out the window. Yup. Good old Dad. Great timing.

"Oh."

Before I could move, his mouth was on mine, warm and firm. The shock and thrill ran through me, a warm rush that took away my breath. He let go and I swayed towards him, dazed and euphoric.

"Was that okay?" he asked, and I was surprised to hear his voice was husky.

Confused, I wasn't sure what he was asking. Was it okay that he kissed me? Was the kiss okay?

"I don't know. It was my first." Agh! He didn't need to know that!

"It was?" he asked, and his face changed from tender to surprised, or alarmed, or something. I'd said the wrong thing and ruined the moment for both of us.

"I've got to go. Bye." I pushed open the door and walked out into the chill, a gust of wind taking away my breath and the shivery feelings left after the kiss. I jumped in the car and talked non-stop all the way home about everything that didn't matter. I figured if I told my Dad a lot of information he wouldn't know he was missing anything.

All the while I was trying to hide my misery. Now Ren would think I was stupid. Who cares about a first kiss? It's not that big of a deal, is it? It probably wasn't a big deal to him. Lying in bed debating about whether or not I was a big idiot, I touched my lips and smiled. I could almost feel what it was like again. It was a wonderful first kiss, either way, and I would always remember it.

CHAPTER NINETEEN.

Ren I wasn't going to kiss her. But I didn't know she was going to be so beautiful. When she stepped out of the car in that long black dress with her blond hair falling straight down her back I knew why I would fall in love with her.

I loved how she shivered and pretended she wasn't cold. And when I danced with her and she whispered in my ear to twirl her again I knew I was in trouble.

I waited on purpose to dance close with her. I couldn't stand to feel her against me all night, that would drive me crazy. She was so bad at hiding the way she felt, too. Some girls try to be distant so guys will chase them. But she was glowing, her eyes shining, just because she was with me. I didn't need to know the future to realize we fit together perfectly.

It was even easy to tune out all the Yurei that suddenly came to life with so many people in one room. Some couples would last, which surprised me. But they were very rare. We were one of the rare ones. She didn't know it, of course, but I did.

That's why I wasn't going to kiss her. I knew someday in the future it would become part of our memories, our story, and we would remember it many times. I wanted everything to be special. I kissed her by the school door with people walking around and talking on their cell phones.

I made our first kiss hurried and stolen. Her first kiss, altogether. Doesn't everyone remember their first kiss? I felt like she'd slapped me in the face when she said it was her first.

She rushed away as if she didn't care. Maybe she didn't. Maybe because I'd been so casual about it she didn't think it was important. But it was important, so much more than she knew.

Before I went to bed, I thought about texting her, but I was so mad at myself I couldn't. I stayed up late eating junk and watching TV in my bedroom. I changed the channel until I was too tired to stay up any longer, and fell asleep to old show I used to watch when I was a kid.

"Get up." The voice cut through the darkness, but I didn't move. It came again. "Get up."

It sounded so real, like someone was in my room. Once more I heard the voice, but it was fainter, like a song on the radio losing its signal.

I opened my eyes, my room flickering with the light of an infomercial. Had I heard a voice? Or was I dreaming?

"You don't have much time."

I sat straight up, my heart pounding. Someone was definitely in my room. I looked towards the door and there was Kyle's Yurei, standing next to my dresser. He watched me intently, his faded blue eyes commanding my attention.

I should have been scared out of my wits, but I wasn't. Yurei didn't scare me, even though this one was breaking every preconceived notion I had about them. All they had done in the past was appear and I would know certain events about them. They certainly didn't speak to me. But this one was different. Maybe it's because I asked for him. Maybe he had a whole different set of rules.

"Time for what?" I asked.

"Time to save him. No one knows but you. You have to stop him, if you can." I could sense the terrible urgency that emanated from him, waves of desperation and sorrow that threatened to drown me.

However, I was in a bad mood, angry at myself over MacKenzie. I already knew I didn't have much time to help Kyle, I didn't need the Ghost of Christmas Future to tell me that. But what could I do about it?

"I don't know how."

The Yurei shook his head at me. Obviously he thought I could change the future, which wasn't true. I just saw it, right? There was no one to tell me anything. I was figuring it out as I went along. He faded away and left me to my infomercials and my frustration. Would I be responsible for Kyle's death if I didn't act? What was I supposed to do?

CHAPTER TWENTY.

MacKenzie On Sunday Dad took us to church and then we visited Mom and Derek in the hospital. Mom wore a charcoal gray dress that brought out the blue in her eyes. I thought again that we made a good-looking family-Dad broad-shouldered in his dark suit, crisp white shirt and tie, James in a white shirt, tie and khaki pants. I wore a red wrap-around dress with black tights and boots to keep warm. We sat next to Derek's bed, each of us taking a turn to say something, except for James. Mom said it was okay if he didn't know how to talk to Derek. James usually found a way down to the cafeteria when we visited Derek. I told Derek all about the dance, and about my fabulous dress.

I was getting used to seeing Derek asleep. I could barely remember him when he was healthy. He didn't look like anything was wrong with him at all, except he never opened his eyes. Everything about him was just as perfect as it was before the accident, even the wound on his head was slowly fading away. His skin still looked tan, although it was gradually losing the summer glow. He breathed so quietly it was almost silent, his chest barely moving at all. I touched his fingers to make sure they were warm. They were, but they lay limp and motionless, whether I held his hand tightly or gently.

Mom kissed his forehead before we left. She winced, as if she were in pain, or as if she hated to leave him. I wondered if she always looked that sad when she had to kiss him goodbye.

We collected James and Dad from the cafeteria and went home. We made grilled cheese sandwiches and watched football, all of us on the couch.

I thought about Ren, though, nonstop. Where he was, what he was doing, if he was thinking about me. Maybe he was with his family, too.

I found a split in one my nails and pulled it off, wondering if he compared our kiss to other girls he had kissed. There was no doubt it was not his first kiss. He was too confident. If he graded my kiss, would it score low? Perhaps he could be generous and give me a C-. I was running out of nails to split.

Someone scored a touchdown and I joined the celebration just a fraction of a second late. I don't think my parents noticed.

When the game ended we put on a movie we'd seen before. We had popcorn and sometimes Dad would blurt out the next line before the character said it and we'd throw stuff at him. It's impossible to watch old movies with him. He says every line.

After the movie Dad called for prayer and we knelt around the coffee table. It had been a while since we prayed as a family; we forgot about it sometimes. James said it this time, asking that Derek would get better and come home.

I could feel Derek's absence, and our family felt so much smaller without him. It wasn't even like were missing one fifth, it was more like half. They should have another math for this-emotional math that had its own proportions and equations. I hated this equation, though. Whatever it would like on paper, it was hard in real life.

Monday morning I slept in on purpose so I wouldn't be able to walk to school with Ren. No need for all that awkwardness first thing in the morning.

My parents didn't know because Dad went to work earlier and Mom had driven James to school. Besides, I wasn't going to be that late, just a few minutes. I walked out the door, glad that I could avoid meeting with Ren before I was ready.

Since I knew I wasn't going to see him I wore my big puffy jacket. It was enormous. My mom thought it was rugged because it had feathers in it or down or whatever. It looked like it was stuffed with an entire flock of birds, not just the feathers. Maybe some penguins. I think Happy Feet was in there somewhere. At least it was warm.