CHAPTER 21.

The St Magdalena Nursing Home made Vernon Maddox feel nauseous. Old people gave him the heebie-jeebies and he wasn't afraid to admit it. He was frightened of being like them. It only seemed like yesterday when he was young and virile with a thick thatch of brown hair on his head and chest. Now the hair on his head was falling out and his chest hair was grey. At least Shirl still liked him. He felt a wave of sentiment, then returned to concentrating on the matter in hand. Finding his wife and son.

He'd only met Kate's Aunt Lil once before back before she was loony tunes and it wasn't a visit he'd ever planned to repeat. If anyone had told him that one day he'd be visiting the old bat in an old folks' home he would have told them to stop smoking crack, but here he was, clutching a droopy bunch of flowers.

He'd only just recovered from the flight. Flying scared him even more than old people, especially since 9/11. This was the first time he'd been on a plane since that terrible day, even though Kate had pestered him ever since to visit the old country. She'd argued that you shouldn't give in to terrorists, that you had to live your life as normally as possible. Yeah, right... He remembered watching footage from London after the bombings last year, with Londoners getting back on the subway or the tube, whatever it was called and those ridiculous red buses the very day after the bombs went off. Brave? It was crazy, as far as he was concerned.

It hadn't been difficult at all to find the nursing home where Aunt Lil was waiting for her flight out of here. After discovering his wife's monstrous betrayal, Vernon had rushed home in a cab and scoured the house. Who would Kate visit in England? She only had two living relatives, Lil, and her mousey sister, Miranda. Although Kate had taken her address book with her she hadn't deleted the contacts on her computer. There, under L and this p.i.s.sed him off, the way she filed people by their first name instead of their surname was the name and address of Aunt Lil's home. He moved on to M and found Miranda's address. Easy.

On his way back to the airport he had considered calling the police, getting Interpol on the case, or whoever dealt with such crimes. But how long would it take to persuade the authorities that Jack had been abducted, especially as it was by his own mother? It would be far too slow. He wanted his son back now. And another thing he wanted to do it himself. He wanted to see Kate's face when he caught up with her. That would be well worth the trauma of the flight and having to spend a few nights apart from Shirl.

The nursing home was in London, so that was where he headed first, after booking into a hotel near Paddington, the first one he saw after getting off the Heathrow Express. He vaguely remembered Kate telling him some tale about how Lil had moved from Bath (p.r.o.nounced with an ah) to London when she was in her late sixties to be near her old friends. Lil had actually grown up in London.

It was a grand Victorian detached building with ivy scaling the walls. Vernon's feet crunched on gravel as he walked up to the front door and pressed the buzzer. A woman in a crisp white uniform and a b.u.t.t to die for beckoned him in, and he explained who he was and who he'd come to see, trying not to wrinkle his nose at the smell that drifted through the building, breaking through the wall of air freshener.

'Hi.' He turned on his most charming smile, the one that he liked to practice on female freshmen. He explained who he was and who he'd come to see. 'My wife visited the other day,' he guessed. 'Kate Maddox. She would have had my son, Jack, with her.'

The nurse beamed. 'Ah, yes, the American boy. What a little angel. Such good manners.'

'Yes, he's been well disciplined.'

The nurse raised an eyebrow, then said, 'Shall I show you up to Miss Johnson's room?'

He followed the nurse up the stairs, enjoying the view of her a.s.s in her tight uniform Shirl's a.s.s had pa.s.sed its 'best before' date and was shown along a corridor with a carpet the colour of a blended roast dinner. The nurse knocked on a door but didn't wait for a response. 'Lil, darling, you've got a visitor,' she said, ushering him in.

Aunt Lil was sitting in a chair by the window. When she turned her head towards him Vernon was reminded of a skeleton in a horror flick. He could almost hear the creak. Vernon clutched his head, as if proximity to such evident senility would cause him to contract it like it was an infectious disease.

'I'll leave you alone,' said the nurse, closing the door.

It was stiflingly hot in the room. Vernon could feel his shirt sticking to his back. He looked around. A stuffed rabbit lay on the bed, a sign of how Lil had returned to childhood. Jack had a stuffed rabbit that was quite similar. He'd left it behind in Boston. Vernon had felt sentimental when he saw Jack's rabbit on his bed, but was secretly pleased. He didn't believe in boys cuddling stuffed toys. He didn't want his son growing up soft. He bet that his idol, Hemingway, never owned a stuffed rabbit.

He moved as close as he dared towards the old woman. 'Hi, Lil, it's me. Vernon Maddox. Kate's husband.'

Aunt Lil looked up at him with watery eyes, half-obscured by large-framed gla.s.ses. 'Kate? Where's Kate?'

'She's not here. I'm her husband. I'm trying to find Kate and I was wondering if you might know where she is.'

Aunt Lil blinked at him. 'She's at the Unit. With Leonard. He's a lovely man, a good friend. He'll look after her.'

Vernon moved a little closer. 'At the Unit? What do you mean? What Centre?' What was she rambling on about? 'Where is the Unit, Lil?'

'Where is it? In Salisbury, of course.'

Salisbury? Kate had mentioned it once, he thought. He had no idea where it was, but it wouldn't be hard to find out.

'After that, she's going back to study. She's a clever girl, you know. She's going to be a scientist, just like her father.' She paused and frowned. 'That was such a shame.'

Vernon realised that Lil was talking about the past. Or at least, this part of her conversation was set in the past. It was impossible to sort the past from the present, or even tell if she was aware of the present at all.

'Do you know where Kate is now? Is she at this Centre place now?' he said.

'Pardon?'

He leaned in closer still and raised his voice. 'Where is she now?'

Lil studied him and then said, in a hushed, girlish voice, 'William? Is that you?'

'William?' What was she talking about now? 'No, it's Vernon. Kate's husband.'

Lil grabbed his hand. His impulse was to s.n.a.t.c.h it away, to stop her from touching him. But she held his fingers. 'I knew you'd come back, William. I knew I'd hear your voice again.'

'Listen, my name's Vernon. Who's William?'

'He was her boyfriend.'

Vernon swivelled round and saw another old lady standing in the doorway, wearing a long coat despite the blazing sunshine outside. From the look in her eye, though, this one appeared still to be compos mentis. She stepped into the room.

'William was an American GI who Lil was seeing during the war. Overs.e.xed, overpaid and over here. He was one of them.' She laughed. 'Awfully handsome, he was, but at the end of the War he went back to America. He promised to write but never did. Broke poor Lil's heart. She never married, you know. n.o.body could live up to her William. I expect Lil heard your accent and thought you were him. Poor thing. Who are you, anyway? I'm Maud.'

Her piercing gaze was unnerving. He explained who he was and asked if she'd seen Kate or knew where she was.

'I don't know,' Maud replied. 'Lil was talking about her the other day. But I wasn't sure if she'd really been here or if she had imagined it. She doesn't make much sense these days.'

'I noticed.'

'It comes to us all, dear.'

Vernon shuddered and thought, I'll shoot myself first.

'And you probably think you'd rather shoot yourself first, but you won't.'

Vernon felt his temper heating up. What did this old crone know about him? Suddenly, he had to get out.

He pushed past Maud and ran down the stairs, not stopping to say goodbye to the nurse who had shown him to Lil's room. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the hall mirror. His face was burning. Quick to temper, that's what his mother had said about him. It was true, but so what? He liked to think of it as pa.s.sionate.

He switched on the GPS in his hire car and punched in some digits. Salisbury wasn't too far away. Then he checked how to get to Miranda's. If Kate wasn't there, he would head to Salisbury and find out what this Centre was. He didn't have anything else to go on. But he felt hopeful, like he was getting warm. He was going to get his son back. And if Kate stood in his way, he'd really lose his temper. Kate underestimated him, but he knew her better than anyone else. He knew everything about her including exactly how to hurt her.

CHAPTER 22.

'I don't wanna stay at Auntie Miranda's,' Jack whined, halfway along the M40.

Kate twisted round in the pa.s.senger seat to see Jack's sulky red face and downturned mouth. She and Paul had decided there was no further reason to be in Salisbury, after the visit to Sarah's mother, and were instead heading north.

'Oh Jack, you'll have such a great time. Auntie Miranda told me that you're going to go horse-riding and strawberry picking, and you can play in the sprinkler every day. Your cousins can't wait to see you.'

'Well, I can wait to see them,' he huffed in reply, but Kate could tell that he was slightly mollified all the same. She shot a guilty look at Paul, who was driving. Yes, it was undoubtedly far less boring for Jack to be with his cousins than trailing round the countryside with her and Paul but she couldn't help feeling as if she was off-loading him for her own more selfish reasons... Paul smiled back at her, and she dismissed the guilt. Jack would be fine.

'Are we nearly there yet, Mummy?'

'I think we must be, honey. We have to come off this motorway at Junction Ten, and we've just pa.s.sed Junction Nine.'

'Good. Because I'm bored and Billy's thirsty.... Mummy?'

'Yes, Jack?'

'Can I call Dad?'

Kate glanced at Paul again, in panic this time. She'd been dreading this request since they arrived in England. 'Um, honey, I think Daddy's on holiday too at the moment.'

'I can call his cellphone. I know the number.'

'I know you do. Well... I don't think his phone will work outside America. And anyway, it's only ten o'clock here, which means it's the middle of the night where Daddy is.'

'I want to leave him a message. Why didn't he take me on vacation? If he's not in America it won't be the middle of the night, will it? Where has he gone, anyway?'

Not the British Isles, please, Kate thought, although without much hope. She knew him well enough to suspect he'd jumped on the first available plane when he realized what she had done. She had texted him to say Jack was safe, and not to look for them but it wouldn't have made any difference. Since then she had kept her phone firmly switched off and hadn't even turned it on to check her messages. Her fear that Vern would s.n.a.t.c.h Jack back again was so deep and overpowering that she couldn't even allow herself to think about it. She might lose Jack for good. Hopefully, Vern would calm down, given time, and they could sort out access then. Just not now, when it was pride and spite that would be motivating his every action.

'Oh, honey, I'm not exactly sure. And you know what? I think his cellphone is broken, because I tried to call it yesterday but it didn't even ring.' She winced at the blatant lie. 'Anyhow, look, here's the signpost for Junction Ten! We must be almost there. Let me just check the directions, so we don't get lost on the way to the house.'

Miranda and her husband Pete's house was a rambling, ramshackle Victorian pile on the edge of Churchill, a very picturesque Cotswolds village, with amazing views out over open countryside. Pete was a vet, and had just taken over the village practice, and Miranda was a self-confessed 'professional home-maker'. Kate noted that her sister still appeared to live in the same old green wellies and shabby cardigan she'd had for years. n.o.body would ever have guessed that they were sisters. Kate's hair was chestnut brown and curly, and Miranda's light brown and straight. Miranda's eyes were brown, Kate's blue. Kate was four inches taller and two stone slimmer. Miranda had absolutely no interest in science, but knew everything about how to grow perfect tomatoes; whereas Kate couldn't even keep Busy Lizzies alive.

As they walked into the kitchen, Kate noticed Paul looking incredulously between her and her sister, and she grinned. Luckily she had forewarned Miranda on the telephone that she'd be turning up with Jack, and a man who was not her husband, in tow.

'We've only been here four months. I'm so glad you managed to see it before we start renovating. It's what you Yanks call a 'fixer-upper', isn't that right?' said Miranda, proudly gesturing to high-ceilinged rooms which flaked plaster as if suffering from psoriasis. 'Lord knows when we'll get around to it, with Pete working the sort of hours he is. I hope you'll be able to stay for lunch, so you get to see him too? He said he'd try and pop back after his morning surgery.'

'We'd love to but we might have to make tracks soon. We've got a lot to do in a couple of days. Oh, and by the way, I'm not a b.l.o.o.d.y Yank!' said Kate, jokingly. She was privately wondering how on earth Miranda could bear to bring up children in a dump like this. Yes, it would be incredible when it was finished but it was going to take years. 'The house is great, Manda. And thanks again so much for having Jack to stay. He's been so excited about seeing his cousins.'

Another lie, thought Kate. All these little tiny lies knotting together in a ball. She pictured it like a ball of rubber bands, the lies getting bigger and bigger, stretching further and further around the ball. How many more times was she going to have to lie to Jack about his dad, and why he couldn't speak to him?

'Gosh, I haven't been called Manda for years!' Miranda exclaimed, smiling. 'It's so good to see you, sis. I'm sorry I haven't been better about keeping in touch.'

'Don't worry. I know you've had your hands full.'

Later, Paul went out to play Swingball in the garden with Jack and his cousins, and Kate and Miranda were able to have a more private chat on the terrace, sipping Miranda's homemade elderflower cordial; ice-cubes in the shapes of strawberries clinking around in the tall gla.s.ses. It was a beautiful summer's morning, and the sounds of the countryside were all around birds singing, cows mooing in a field nearby, a tractor rolling down the lane by the side of the house. For the first time, Kate envied her sister's uncomplicated family life.

'So it's all over between you and Vernon. Is it because of - ?' Miranda gestured towards Paul, who was rolling around on the gra.s.s with three small children squealing and romping on top of him.

'Oh, no, definitely not! I've only just hooked up with Paul he's the twin brother of my old boyfriend, Stephen, from ages ago, you know, the one who died... We literally b.u.mped into in each other in London the day after I got here. There was n.o.body else involved in me and Vernon splitting up not from my side, anyway. Just Vernon, being a big fat bully. I'm sure he was cheating on me, though. And I didn't even care, things had got that bad. I just wanted out.'

'You could've rung me, you know, Kate. I didn't realize you were in such a state... So you've only known Paul for four days?'

There was an unmistakeable note of disapproval in Miranda's voice, and Kate couldn't really blame her for it. When you thought about it, it was unbelievable that she'd only known Paul for such a short time. It seemed foolhardy in the extreme that the two of them were traipsing off around the country on what was probably a wild goose chase. She opened her mouth to tell Miranda that, no, of course she'd known Paul ever since she and Stephen had been together. But then she thought no. That's another lie. Stop worrying about what other people think of you. You don't have to defend yourself to anybody.

Fortunately, Miranda didn't wait for an answer, so Kate was spared having to tell the truth.

'Does Jack know?' Miranda asked instead.

'About me and Vernon splitting up? No. I haven't told him we aren't going back.' The reality of the situation hit Kate again, full force, and her face fell. 'd.a.m.n. I know I'm going to have to sort something out eventually; some sort of access for Vernon, but I just can't face it yet. He'd s.n.a.t.c.h him back, I know he would.'

'And that's why you brought him to England, because you think Vernon would try to get custody?'

'I know he would. He tried to take him from me before. And I know if it went to court he could make me look bad. He forced me to go to a shrink who put me on anti-depressants...that won't look good. And he'd tell them about all the nights I spent in the lab, being a bad mother. Plus he's a G.o.dd.a.m.n pillar of the community and I'm a resident alien.'

'Poor you. Poor little Jack,' said Miranda, putting her hand on top of Kate's, her eyes full of tears.

Kate got up abruptly. She desperately wanted to know what had really gone on at the CRU, but a small part of her wondered if some of that was because she needed distraction a way of not having to think about the consequences of taking Jack away from his father.

'We'd better go, Mand. Perhaps we could stay for lunch when we come back to collect Jack again?'

'Of course. And don't worry about him he'll be fine. Take as long as you need to. What was it you said you had to do, again? I couldn't quite understand on the phone when you were telling me.'

'It's a long story. Paul needs my help to find out the truth about what happened to his brother. There are some unanswered questions around the way he died.' She didn't know what else to say really. It was too complicated to get into.

'Crikey,' said Miranda doubtfully. 'That sounds very dramatic. You will be careful, won't you?'

'Don't worry, we'll just be making a few enquiries, and it'd be boring for Jack, that's all. We aren't going to be hunted down and a.s.sa.s.sinated by any underworld gangsters, because "we knew too much".'

Her accompanying laugh sounded forced, even to her. She had an image of Sarah, lying on the gra.s.s outside the burning CRU, no longer a survivor in her memory, but a corpse. And she thought of Stephen's letter and the weird message. Again, she had the feeling that she and Paul were moving into treacherous waters. Jack would be far better off here, even though it would hurt her to be apart from him.

'Jack!' she called, and he came running up the garden towards her, panting, the colour back in his cheeks. 'Mummy's off now. Be a good boy for Auntie Miranda, won't you? I'll see you really soon, I promise. Come and give me a kiss goodbye.'

CHAPTER 23.

'He's a great kid, your Jack,' Paul said later, as they stopped at a service station just south of Birmingham, for a drink and a loo break.

After leaving Miranda's, they'd driven straight on up the country towards Staffordshire, heading for the village near Stafford where Leonard Bainbridge's widow lived. Finding her address had not been difficult the article they'd read in Starbucks, about Leonard's death, had mentioned that the couple retired to Hednesford. She was ex-directory, but Paul found her on a website that allowed users to check the electoral roll for a small fee. There was only one Bainbridge listed in Hednesford, and it was a small place, so they were fairly confident they had the correct details - even without a telephone number to be able to double check.

'I know,' Kate replied wistfully, dunking a large cookie into a mug of coffee.

Paul gave her hand a squeeze, and she nearly dropped the cookie in. 'You've been really quiet since we left your sister's place.. Are you worried about him?'

Kate bit her lip, and laid the soggy cookie back on the plate.

'No, not worried, not exactly. He'll have a wonderful time with his cousins, and Miranda will really look after him it's not that. It's just... I suppose I feel guilty, that's all. Dragging him away from his dad, and now dumping him on my sister....'