'It's been ages since I stayed in a room with twin beds in it,' she said, gulping wine. 'Not since the CRU, probably although these beds are a lot bigger. I'd have got a double room for me and Jack, because he usually ends up climbing into bed with me but he takes up all the room if it's a single bed, so then I need another bed to swap over to. We spend all night switching from bed to bed, him chasing me. Easier just to be in a double.'

She blushed. Way too much talk about climbing into beds, and chasing even though she was referring to a six year old boy.

'Did everyone share a room at CRU? Did you share with Stephen?'

'Everyone had to share, but they weren't all twin rooms. There were some 'flats', as they were called: like self-contained apartments, with a sort of sitting room/kitchenette, and two little bedrooms off it. More civilized, although the bathroom was out in the corridor. But I was in a twin room both times I went a much bigger room, like a bedsit. The beds were at opposite ends of the room, and the rooms had an en-suite bathroom. And no, I definitely wouldn't have been allowed to share with Stephen, even if he hadn't been staff! Strictly single-s.e.x. We were meant to be in isolation with our roommate. Besides, n.o.body knew Stephen and I were a couple. He didn't often stay on site anyway, he had a rented flat in Salisbury.'

'Why?'

'Well, it was a bit dead up there. He did want some kind of life outside work, you know.'

'No, I meant, why didn't anybody know you were a couple?'

Jack snuffled and stirred in his sleep, reaching out a floppy arm to cuddle his unwieldy robot.

Kate waited until he was still again before continuing. 'I'm not sure. Stephen made a big deal about it at the time, and I never really understood why. All he'd say was that it was best if no-one knew. That was one of the other things which made me suspicious. I mean, what would it matter, as long as we stuck to the rules when we were on CRU property? But he had a real issue about it it obviously made him anxious.

'When I confessed that I'd told Sarah about us, he was really upset. He kept saying, "This is a disaster, what if it gets out? What if the rest of the staff find out? I'll lose my job!" At first I just thought it was because he was a bit of a golden boy, and he didn't want anybody to know he'd been fraternizing with the patients. It turns out there was some daft old-fashioned rule about it.'

Paul smiled. 'Old Stephen always did have jobsworth tendencies...So, tell me more about Sarah.'

As he spoke, he reached out a finger and softly stroked Kate's forearm. Kate froze, her eyes open wide with shock and pleasure but Paul wasn't looking at her. He gave no sign that he was any more aware of this little movement than he'd been by the fact that their legs were touching. She realized that she was wet inside really wet. This is ridiculous, she thought. I'm so s.e.x-starved that I'll probably have an o.r.g.a.s.m from some guy stroking my arm! She tried, and failed to remember when she'd last had s.e.x. Probably not since Jack was out of nappies.

Paul waited for her to tell him what she'd remembered about Sarah.

She cleared her throat, willing Paul not to stop stroking her. But at the same time, she couldn't help shuddering at the memory she'd had earlier, while standing on the CRU site, of Sarah emerging with her from the building, as sooty and sick as she herself was.

'Um... no. The last time I saw her was after the fire. I can't remember much about that night, except that she helped carry me out. She was ill too, so I don't know how she did it. But I do have a distinct image of her lying on the gra.s.s outside, coughing. We were all coughing, from the smoke, and the flu. I didn't see her again after that I got taken away to this hospital. I'm sure I asked about her, but for the life of me I can't remember if I got an answer. Then I went off to the States, and didn't give her another thought, really.'

The stroking was intensifying, long slow swoops up and down her forearm. Kate broke out in gooseb.u.mps all over. She wanted to grab Paul and kiss him, but couldn't bring herself to. Surely this means he fancies me, she thought? She was so out of practice. Perhaps he was just being encouraging... oh don't be ridiculous, Kate, she told herself. Of course it must mean he fancies you. You don't randomly go around stroking forearms of people you don't fancy. Not like this, anyhow.

'More wine?' She jumped up abruptly, and refilled their gla.s.ses. d.a.m.n, she thought. Now he's going to think I wasn't enjoying it, or it wasn't appropriate.

But perhaps it wasn't appropriate. Did she really want him? Or did he just represent the closest thing to Stephen reincarnated that she was ever going to get? She sighed.

Paul looked at her then, and smiled. He patted the bed next to him. 'So her name was Sarah Evergreen. Why exactly did you call her the Evergreen Eyed Monster? What was she jealous of?'

She sat down again. This time, she purposefully sat a little bit closer, so their legs were touching without either of them having to move.

'She was jealous of me and Stephen. I didn't much like her, she was a stroppy cow. My sort of age, and quite pretty, with all this red hair, and I was really pleased when I first met her, because I thought she'd be fun. She was, at first, but it soon became clear that she had her eye on Stephen. She didn't realize that we were already an item, so when she started saying how fit he was, and how she'd love to be pressed against the lab benches by him you know, that sort of thing well, it was really difficult. I couldn't say anything, because it was a big secret that Stephen and I were together. It really p.i.s.sed me off that we couldn't be open about it but after a while I just couldn't keep listening to Sarah going on and on about cute he was, and what she was planning to say to him to get him interested in her it was painful! And believe me, she really went on about it. There wasn't much else to do in there, apart from watching TV, so she'd made Stephen her little project. Eventually I decided I just had to tell her.'

'What did she say?'

Kate frowned. 'Again, I can't really remember. She wasn't happy, that's for sure. But we were both quite ill by then it must have been a day or two before the fire. I suspect that if we'd both been feeling well, we'd have had a big row, but I think she was too out of it to do much other than moan and b.i.t.c.h at me.' She shuddered. 'Ugh. She was a pain in the a.s.s. I do remember lying on my bed with a temperature, and her whining away on the other side of the room. I wanted to swat her like a mosquito. But I didn't have the energy. I felt too c.r.a.p.'

'So you both had colds?'

Kate hesitated. She wished Paul would start stroking her arm again, but apart from their legs touching, he wasn't doing anything other than listening. She hoped she hadn't given out signals that she didn't want to. Although more than likely this was exactly what she'd done, since she wasn't sure that she did want to... It was all a bit weird. The last thing she'd expected to happen on arrival back in England was meeting a new man. Let alone Stephen's b.l.o.o.d.y twin brother! It was insane. She tried to concentrate on the conversation, and not on Paul's solid, s.e.xy proximity.

'Well. I suppose at the time I a.s.sumed I had really bad flu. But now I think back to it.... it wasn't like any flu I've ever had. I suppose it could have just been that my temperature was so high that it felt worse than it was. But the only time I've ever felt more ill was when I was a kid, with the same disease that my parents....well, you know... died of.'

She felt uncomfortable, in case Paul thought she was courting sympathy, but to her grat.i.tude, he reacted in a completely matter-of-fact way.

'Do you think it could have been thing else you had? Some other illness, I mean?'

'All I can say is that it didn't feel like flu. And certainly not like any sort of cold. But it's all such a blur, and then the fire broke out, and all I can really remember after that was what I told you before, about being in that hospital weeks later, and Leonard telling me I'd got a starred First, and he'd arranged for me to go to Harvard. Anything else just comes in flashes. Or nightmares.' She paused again. 'I have a lot of nightmares. But at the time, if I was thinking rationally at all, it wasn't about the fire, or Sarah, or how ill I'd been.... It was about Stephen. All I could think about was how I'd lost him, and how it felt as if I'd never be happy again.'

She stopped, her voice thick and choked with sudden tears. It felt insensitive for him to see her eyes so full. When she glanced at him, hoping he hadn't noticed, she saw with shock that there were tears running down his cheeks too.

'Oh G.o.d, I'm so sorry,' she said, instinctively reaching out to him and putting her arms around him. 'I only knew him for a few months and he was your twin. It must be so much worse for you.'

He swiped his face with the back of his hand, and leaned into her embrace. 'No, I'm sorry. I'm not usually a crier, honest. In fact, I probably haven't cried since he died apart from when the Saints got relegated, of course.' He smiled ruefully, and Kate was reminded even more strongly of Stephen. He used to have that same self-deprecating humour too.

'It's not nice to see you upset about him, but it's kind of amazing to be with someone who understands the loss, and who loved him too. I know I've mentioned this before, but I can't talk to my parents about him. It's too painful for them. And Stephen and I didn't have any mutual friends, so this is the first time I've met anybody who... misses him like I do.'

Something in his honesty, and the catch in his voice, touched Kate deeply. Suddenly she realized that, no, this wasn't just about Stephen. She didn't just see Stephen in him, alike as they were. She was attracted to him, Paul, and the rush of adrenaline and sudden l.u.s.t would have knocked her off her feet, had she been standing.

She hugged him tighter to her and, at that moment, Jack snored and rolled over so he was facing the wall. Thanks, Jack, she thought, as she gently lifted Paul's face up towards her and kissed his lips. They tasted salty with tears, and felt so soft.

He responded immediately, wrapping his arms around her waist. To her immense relief, it wasn't like kissing Stephen. And it certainly wasn't like kissing Vernon (kissing Vernon, as she recalled, had been more like being caught in the spin cycle of a washing machine). This was an entirely new and entirely lovely experience. She immediately wanted to rip off all her clothes, and jump on him. It was lucky Jack was in the next bed, otherwise she probably would have done, she thought, sighing with pleasure as Paul touched her b.r.e.a.s.t.s with the same light finger with which he'd stroked her arm.

They didn't talk about Sarah, or the CRU, or Stephen, for the next hour and a half. The wine got finished, and Kate got stubble rash on her chin, but somehow, miraculously - particularly since they were already lying on a bed - their clothes for the most part remained in place.

'This is so wonderful,' Paul whispered at one point, their tears forgotten.

Kate nodded. 'Wonderful but very weird.'

A thought struck her. 'I don't know much about you, apart from who your twin was. You aren't married, are you?'

He smiled and shook his head. 'Nope.'

'Divorced?'

'No.'

'Girlfriend?'

'Broke up with her six months ago. Been on my own ever since. You have nothing to worry about.'

'I'm married, though,' she said sombrely, picturing Vernon's face, twisted with rage at the realization that she and Jack had gone. For some reason, she saw him standing in the doorway of Jack's abandoned bedroom, looking with fury at the neat Toy Story duvet cover, perhaps hurling it across the room. Perhaps sobbing, with rage and frustration. Oh G.o.d. She had a horrible feeling that the fallout from their flight hadn't even begun.

Paul merely smiled again. There was something so calming about being with him. 'Yeah, but you won't be for much longer, will you? I mean, isn't that what all this is about; you being over here?'

Kate nodded.

'Well then. What's a bit of pre-emptive infidelity between friends?' He kissed her again, and she somehow managed to forget about Vernon. For a short while, at least.

CHAPTER 19.

When Kate opened her eyes the next morning, her first fleeting emotion was faint disappointment that Paul wasn't in bed with her. But then, as the click and beep of Billy the robot being switched on announced the awakening of her son, she realized that that would have been impossible. Or, at least, extremely inadvisable. To her shame, she found herself wondering how on earth she was ever going to get any time alone with Paul. She dismissed the selfish thought immediately. Jack absolutely had to come first.

Although, now that she thought about it, perhaps it was time for Jack to go and spend a few days with his British cousins? Selfish reasons aside, it really couldn't be much fun for him, getting dragged around with her and Paul in their quest for answers. Her sister lived in the Cotswolds. Surely she'd be happy to have him to stay for a while? Miranda didn't even know that they were over here.

Kate decided that she would ring her today... and not just so that she could sleep with Paul, either. It would be lovely to talk to Miranda without a transatlantic hum and delay on the phone. Plus, she'd probably need to rea.s.sure Miranda that they were OK. She'd been holding off calling her so far, knowing that this would be the first place Vernon would try to track her down, and she didn't want Miranda to have to get involved. Better that she knew nothing. At least Vernon wouldn't be aware of Miranda's new address their family had moved house a few months before.

'h.e.l.lo Billy, h.e.l.lo Mummy, I love you both,' Jack said sleepily, stumbling out of his bed and into hers the one he'd started out in last night. They cuddled, Kate pressing the top of Jack's head against her lips, kissing his soft hair, and Jack wrapping one of his little legs around hers. He smelled delicious.

'We love you too, Jacket,' she said, using his old nickname.

'Mum-mee, don't call me that, it's silly.'

'Alright, Potatohead.'

'That's even more silly!'

'Sorry, Mr. Smellypants.'

Jack punched her in the ribs, surprisingly hard.

'Ow! That hurt!'

'Then stop calling me silly things,' he said, on the verge of sudden tears.

Kate had forgotten how sensitive he was sometimes. She supposed it was unsurprising, under the current circ.u.mstances.

'Sorry, Jack,' she said, hugging him closer. 'Hey, listen, how would you like to go and see Amelia and George?'

'Who?'

'Your cousins, you remember them? They came to Boston once. They've got blond hair and big green eyes. George is a year younger than you, and Amelia's a year older.'

'And their parents is Auntie Miranda and Uncle Pete?'

'That's right. You haven't seen them for a while.'

Miranda, Pete and the kids had flown out to visit them in Boston about eighteen months earlier. Vernon had made the visit as uncomfortable as he could. He may as well have placed a 'p.i.s.s Off' mat on the front porch.

Jack shrugged. 'OK. I don't mind. I might let George play with Billy, but only for a few minutes.'

'Good boy. Now go and have a wee, and we'll find Paul and go for breakfast.'

m foToday's task,' Paul said, as the two of them attacked greasy scrambled eggs and rubbery toast in the hotel dining room, 'is to track down Sarah. Can you remember where she lived?'

Kate, who was watching Jack playing with the curtain pulls he appeared to be trying to lynch Billy racked her brains again. She glanced up at Paul, who was chasing a clump of egg around his plate. He caught her looking, and gave her a little, but very meaningful smile, and her stomach did a small flip. She thought of the silky smoothness of his skin from the previous night, and how she couldn't wait to get him into She forced herself to concentrate and pointed towards Paul's laptop. 'You know, I'm sure she lived locally. I have this feeling that she told me she could see her house from the Unit. Can't we trace her on the net? Evergreen shouldn't be too difficult, it's not a terribly common name, is it?'

'No, but I can't get an internet connection here, so let's go and see if the receptionist's got a telephone directory, if you've finished.'

Kate took a final swig of tepid tea, and made a face. 'Yeah. It's not the best breakfast I've ever had.'

Paul smiled at her again. 'Perhaps I can take you to a hotel sometime where they do fantastic breakfasts. In the Lake District. Views to die for, and four poster beds.'

'Sounds good,' she said, trying to keep her voice level. 'You know how much I like my food...'

There was one Evergreen listed in the Salisbury phone directory. The initials were wrong, but after all this time Sarah was probably married and living somewhere else. It was almost certainly a relative though hopefully her parents.

'a.s.suming they're the right Evergreen, of course,' Paul said.

'Should we call first?' Kate asked doubtfully. 'Jack, don't do that, honey, you might get your fingers trapped.' Jack, bored, had been playing with the heavy fire door leading up to the hotel bedrooms, as Kate and Paul leafed through the directory beside the payphone in Reception.

'No. We've got plenty of time. Let's just drive over there and see if they're in. And if it's them, of course. You can just say you're an old friend of Sarah's.'

'What about Jack? Jack stop it!'

Paul looked over at Jack, who was now kicking the door disconsolately.

'Yeah. Bit boring for him, really. I don't think he should come in with us. I'll buy a ball and take him for a kick around in their garden, if they've got one, while you're chatting.'

Kate hoped the Evergreens would be accommodating. It seemed a bit cheeky to turn up uninvited and then ask that Jack could go and play football in their back garden. 'Or in a local park.'

'Whatever. Let's go.' Paul called to Jack: 'Come on mate, we're going to buy a football!'

Football duly purchased from a newsagents' near the hotel, the three of them set off in the car, heading for a village on the other side of Salisbury called Quidhampton. According to their map, the Evergreens lived on the main road through the village.

'Although I wouldn't really call this a main road,' Kate said, as Paul drove slowly down what was more like a narrow country lane.

'There! Primrose Cottage,' Paul cried, pointing at a low, Thirties-style bungalow.

'Wouldn't really call that a cottage, either,' she said, trying to swallow down the nerves in her belly at what she was about to have to do.

'Where are we going? Can we play football now?' Jack had undone his seatbelt before the car had pulled to a halt.

'Hang on, mate. We just have to go and see if these people are the mum and dad of someone your mummy used to know, a lady called Sarah.'

'Why?'

Paul and Kate looked at one another. 'Bit tricky to explain,' said Paul. 'It's a long story.' He turned back to Kate. 'She might even still live at home. That would be handy, wouldn't it? Save a bit of time.'

'Mmm,' Kate said, not at all sure if she was ready for this. Jack opened his mouth to demand more explanations, so she added hastily: 'You're being a very good boy, Jack. Promise you'll be good a little while longer, while I talk to them, OK?'

'OK. As long as I can have an ice-cream afterwards,' Jack said moodily.

Kate had imagined that Sarah's parents would be an elderly couple, and so when a very attractive, youthful woman in her fifties opened the door, Kate initially a.s.sumed that they had the wrong Evergreens.