"Why are you crying, Annie?" she asked, and I looked at her with confusion at first. Then I touched my cheeks and felt the warm drops.

I couldn't explain why the tears had burst forth. It just happened The next time Tony arrived at the hospital, his chauffeur, a man called Miles, accompanied him to carry several boxes. Tony directed him to place them on the table beside the bed. He opened box after box containing different silk nightgowns. The last box held a crimson silk robe.

"It was a color that looked wonderful on your mother." His eyes were bright with his recollection. "I still remember a wonderful crimson dress and jacket I bought her when she attended the Winterhaven School for Girls."

"Mother wasn't happy there," I said, interrupting his pleasant memory. "She said the other girls treated her mercilessly, and even though they were rich girls, they were not as compa.s.sionate and kind as poor people in the w.i.l.l.i.e.s could be."

"Yes, yes, but it built her character to contend with them. What strong character she had!

Winterhaven was and still is a highly academic school. They make their students work, and they supply them with intelligent teachers. I remember telling your mother that if she reached the top of their academic lists, she would be taken to teas and meet the people who really counted in Boston society. But you're right; she didn't like the people she met there. Oh well," he added, moving off the topic quickly, "at least you'll be the best-dressed patient in the hospital."

I wanted him to talk more about the years my mother lived at Farthinggale Manor, but I thought it best to leave that until I was actually there myself.

When one of the Pink Ladies--sweet, elderly women in pink ap.r.o.ns who volunteered to do charity work at the hospital--came by with the mail the next day, she had a small stack of get-well cards for me from some of my friends back in Winnerow, from my teachers, from Mrs. Avery and Roland Star, as well as cards from Drake and Luke. I asked Mrs. Broadfield to tape them all on my wall. I saw she wasn't happy about it, but she did it anyway.

The day after his card arrived, Luke and my aunt f.a.n.n.y came to visit. Because I had a private room, they could come any time. My door was open, so I could hear Aunt f.a.n.n.y coming down the hospital corridor. I probably would have been able to hear her even if the door had been closed. She and Luke stopped first at the nurse's station.

"We're here to see ma niece," she bellowed. "Annie Stonewall."

I couldn't even hear the nurse's response, she spoke so low, but Aunt f.a.n.n.y didn't take a hint.

"Well, why are ya private rooms so far away from the elevata? If ya payin' more, ya should get the convenience. This way, Luke."

"My aunt's coming," I warned Mrs. Broadfield, who sat like a statue of stone by the door and read the latest issue of People magazine. Tony had sent up dozens of the latest magazines that morning, and Mrs. Broadfield had organized them by the windowsill. My room looked like a library. Some of the regular nurses came by and asked if they could borrow this or that during their breaks. Mrs. Broadfield permitted them to, but she wrote down each and every one of the names next to the name of the magazine on a little pad.

"Just remember where you got them," she warned.

She shifted in her seat when Aunt f.a.n.n.y's footsteps grew louder. I could tell from the clickityclack that she was wearing high heels and was all dolled-up for this visit. She stepped into my doorway wearing a wide-brim panama hat with a black velvet sash, a short-sleeved black denim jacket and tan demin skirt over a small striped tank shirt. Naturally, the skirt hugged her hips.

Despite the way she lived and the things she said and did, I had to confess my aunt f.a.n.n.y was a very attractive woman, especially when she dressed fashionably. It was no wonder young men buzzed around her like bees around a hive.

Luke came in right behind her. He wore a simple blue cotton short-sleeve shirt and jeans, but I could see he had taken extra care with his hair. He was so proud of his rich, dark hair. Other boys, envious boys, teased him because he gave it so much attention, never allowing a strand out of place.

Mrs. Broadfield stood up as soon as Aunt f.a.n.n.y entered the room. She backed away as if she didn't want to chance rubbing elbows, and slapped her magazine on the sill.

"Annie, dear!" Aunt f.a.n.n.y rushed over to my bed and threw her arms around me.

Mrs. Broadfield headed for the doorway.

"Don't hurry, honey," Aunt f.a.n.n.y responded. I nearly laughed aloud when f.a.n.n.y turned back to me, her eyes wide, her lips curled as if she had just swallowed sour milk.

Luke came up on the other side of my bed, looking timid and out of place.

"How are you, Annie?"

"A little better, Luke. I can sit up without getting dizzy, and I've begun to eat solid foods."

"That's wonderful, honey. I jist knew once they gotcha inta a fancy place like this, they'd have ya up an' about in no time." f.a.n.n.y peered down at me. "That glum-faced nurse treatin' ya okay?"

"Oh yes, Aunt f.a.n.n.y. She's very efficient," I rea.s.sured her.

"Looks it. I guess ya gotta have someone like that ta count out the drops'a medicine properly, only she'd be enough to keep someone in a coma."

"Everyone at school sends regards to you, Annie, and sends their condolences," Luke interjected, trying to steer the conversation away from f.a.n.n.y's insults.

"Thank them for me, Luke. And thank them for the cards. I just loved your get-well card." I nodded toward the wall.

"Thought you would." He beamed.

"Where's the card I sent ya?" Aunt f.a.n.n.y demanded after she perused the cards on the wall. "You sent a card, Aunt f.a.n.n.y? When?"

"Days ago. I spent a lotta time pickin' out the best one, too. And I know I put a stamp on it, Luke, so don't accuse me'a forgittin'," she added quickly, antic.i.p.ating Luke's theories.

"Maybe it will be here tomorrow, Aunt f.a.n.n.y." "And maybe that dreadful nurse threw it out before ya got it," she said, sneering.

"Oh, Aunt f.a.n.n.y, why would she do that?"

"Who knows. She didn't like me the moment she set her eyes on me, and I didn't like her much neither. I don't trust her as far as I could kick her." "Aunt f.a.n.n.y!"

"Ma," Luke warned.

"All right," she mumbled.

"All set for graduation, Luke?" I asked, trying to sound cheerful. I would miss my own graduation.

"Three days to go." He ran his forefinger over his throat to suggest it would be a disaster. "This is the first time I'll be doing something really important without you at my side encouraging and supporting me, Annie."

It was wonderful to hear him tell me I was as important to him as I hoped I would always be, but I knew he would do well even though I wasn't beside him. There were few young men his age as capable as he was when it came to a challenge or a responsibility. Our teachers loved it when he volunteered to do something, because they knew they didn't have to be on his back the way they had to with most teenage boys.

"You're going to do fine, Luke. I just know you will. I wish I could be there to hear it," I said, my eyes telling him just how much I wished it.

"He keeps makin' the speech ta the trees in the back of the house, but I ain't heard no applause yit," f.a.n.n.y interjected. Luke scowled. He was growing impatient with her and so was I. "Well, I'll tell ya this, Annie. If those sn.o.bs in Winnerrow don't give Luke a standin' ovation--"

"Ma, I asked you--"

"He's only worried I won't behave and give them snooty people somethin' more ta talk about," she explained. Then she paced around, her voice growing louder as she worked herself up. "Luke, git me that chair over there, the one Annie's nurse was layin' eggs on."

I looked to the door quickly to see if Mrs. Broadfield had returned and overheard any of this. She had apparently decided to stay away until my aunt left.

Luke brought the chair over for her and she sat down, taking her hat off carefully and placing it at the foot of my bed. She had her hair pinned back neatly. I did think there was something different about her, a new, more serious look in her blue eyes. She fixed her gaze on me intently for a moment, pressing her lips together, and then took my hand.

"Annie, honey, I've been doin' a lot of thinkin' lately, nothin' but thinkin'. Right, Luke?"

"That's all she's been doing," Luke said sarcastically. Aunt f.a.n.n.y saw the way we were looking at one another.

"I'm serious here."

"Okay, Aunt f.a.n.n.y. I'm listening. Go on." I folded my hands under my b.r.e.a.s.t.s and sat back against the pillows. My legs were still like two dead appendages. I had to shift them from side to side with my hands, and twice a day Mrs. Broadfield had to ma.s.sage them and work them up and down.

"I decided that I would move into Hasbrouck House while yer recuperatin', jist ta be sure it's kept up properly and those servants do what they're paid ta do. I'll take one of the guest rooms. There's enough of 'em, and whenever Luke comes back from college ta visit, he can take one of the others."

"I'm starting college this summer," he explained. "Harvard has a summer program that I can enter, and my full-tuition scholarship applies to that as well."

"That's wonderful, Luke. But Aunt f.a.n.n.y, have you told Drake your plans?"

"I don't see as I hafta get Drake's permission fer anythin' I do. I got certain rights and obligations. Ma own lawya's been goin' over the wills. Yer motha was kind to me, Annie, and I feel I have an obligation here. n.o.body's goin' ta tell me different, not Drake, and certainly not Tony Tatterton."

"I don't see why Tony would object anyway, Aunt f.a.n.n.y."

"Well, Drake's still finishin' college, and since no one's sayin' I'm not the oldest livin' relative here, I'm goin' to do what has ta be done fer ma family. Drake will be away; yer goin' ta be away; someone's gotta take charge. Heaven would want me to do it, I'm sure."

"I don't mind you and Luke moving into Hasbrouck House, Aunt f.a.n.n.y. I appreciate what you want to do."

"Well thank ya, Annie, honey. That's sweet of ya ta say. Ain't that sweet of her, Luke?"

"Yes," Luke said, staring at me the way he did that day after he had told me what Aunt f.a.n.n.y did to his acceptance letter from Harvard. I felt myself blush, and swung my eyes back to Aunt f.a.n.n.y quickly.

"I only wish ya was comin' back ta yer own home ta recuperate, Annie, instead a goin' off ta that big stone house ta live amongst strangers. I could take jist as good care'a ya as that leather-faced nurse Tony Tatterton hired. Bet she's expensive, too. Anyway, yer motha was never happier than when she was livin' in Winnerrow. When she was older and rich, I mean. 'Least, that's what I think."

"Why, Aunt f.a.n.n.y?" I wondered how much of the secret past she knew.

"She didn't like all them beantown phonies," she said quickly. "And she had some bad times with that loony granny'a hers. Tony, too. Everybody always mixin' everyone else up till a person didn't know who him or her was. She killed herself, ya know," she stated flatly and cast a fish-eye on me.

"I thought that was an accident, Aunt f.a.n.n.y."

"Accident, ma . . . no accident. One night she jist got sick'a bein' locked up like a loony, I suppose, and took too many sleepin' pills. Can't tell me that was an accident."

"But if she didn't know what she was doing or who she was . ."

"Annie's right, Ma. It could have been an accident."

"Maybe, but it still didn't do yer ma no good ta hafta live in that big house with all that craziness goin' on. And I don't think she woulda wanted ta be buried in that ritzy cemetery. She probably woulda preferred the w.i.l.l.i.e.s, out there in the woods, right next ta her real ma."

Luke and I shot quick glances at one another. He knew that I had often gone up to that simple grave in the w.i.l.l.i.e.s alone to stare at the tombstone that simply read, "Angel, Beloved Wife of Thomas Luke Casteel."

"Course, yer daddy probably woulda wanted the huge monument and all."

"You saw it?" I looked back at Luke quickly. He nodded and bit down on his lower lip.

"Yeah, Luke and I went ta the Tatterton family cemetery on our way here and stopped by ta pay our respects."

"You were at Farthy, Luke?"

"Well, it was on the grounds, but we didn't go to the house. The cemetery had its own entry road and was some distance away."

"No one invited us, anyway, Annie. And from where we was standin', that mansion looked cold and deserted," she said, and embraced herself as if just the memory gave her a chill.

"We couldn't see much, Ma," Luke said, looking at her with chastis.e.m.e.nt.

"It looked like one'a them old castles in Europe," she insisted. "That's why I'd rather ya was where I could look in on ya, than stuffed away in that ole mansion. It's probably haunted. Maybe that's why yer great-grandma went loony."

"Oh, Ma," Luke moaned.

"Well, Logan once told me how Jillian--that was her name, Jillian--claimed to see the dearly departed," she whispered.

Luke looked away. Any reference to my father and his mother always embarra.s.sed him. I squeezed out a silly little laugh to change the mood.

"You don't have to worry about that, Aunt f.a.n.n.y. Tony's going to fix Farthy up to make it very comfortable for me," I said. "He's got all kinds of plans . . ."

"Sure." She shifted her gaze from me as if she didn't want me to read her thoughts in her eyes.

"Aunt f.a.n.n.y, do you know why my mother didn't want to have anything to do with him?"

Still looking at the floor, she shook her head.

"That was between yer daddy, yer motha, and him. It all happened jist before Drake's custody hearin', and me and yer ma wasn't very sisterly then, so she didn't tell me everythin' and I didn't ask. After we mended fences, she wanted ta keep her unpleasant memories buried, and I didn't push none ta know. But I'm sure she had good reason, so maybe ya oughta reconsider what yer doin'," she added, her eyes small now and her lips pursed.

"But Aunt f.a.n.n.y, Drake thinks Tony's wonderful, and he's done so much for me. He's promised Drake a job for the summer, an important job, too."

"Yeah, well, jist ya keep yer wits about ya when yer in that castle, Annie, and if anythin' upsets ya, that nurse or anythin' at all, ya jist give yer aunt f.a.n.n.y a call and I'll be there in a jiffy ta bring ya back where ya belong, hear?"

Aunt f.a.n.n.y sounded funny and her ideas were often weird, but I couldn't help wondering if she wasn't right about Tony Tatterton. Were there any other reasons for his doing all that he was doing? Was Aunt f.a.n.n.y right about the stream of madness that ran through the family? For now I decided I would wait and see. At least I felt secure because Drake and Luke would be close by in Boston. In fact, I'd be closer to Luke if I stayed at Farthy. His going to Harvard, which I had thought would separate us forever, would now mean we would be near each other again.

"Thank you, Aunt f.a.n.n.y, but I think be fine, and there is all this special medical attention I need now."

"She's right, Ma."

"I know she needs special care. I jist thought. anyway,Ill be where ya kin find me. Now." She straightened up again, trying to look like my mother did when she conducted business. "Seems yer parents neva changed that part of their wills that left management of their finances up ta Tony Tatterton. So I suppose he's got control'a what happens with the factory and such."

"And Drake will have a lot to do with it. Someday he'll probably run it himself."

"Wouldn't my pa be proud'a that," she said, beam ing. She shook her head and reached into her handbag for a lace handkerchief with which to dab her eyes. "You and Luke's the only family I really got, Annie, and I mean ta do well by ya both, I'm gonna really try to behave and be a decent motha and aunt. I swear it." I could see she was convincing herself as well as me.

"Thank you, Aunt f.a.n.n.y," I said, grateful for her intentions, intentions I suspected she would have trouble sustaining.

We kissed each other's cheek. Her eyes glistened with tears. It saddened me to see it, but I fought back crying, too. She straightened up again and stuffed her handkerchief back into her bag.

"I'm jist goin' ta go down ta that fancy cafeteria fer a cup a coffee. Promised Luke I'd let ya two have some time alone, though why there's gotta be secrets kept from me, Ah don't know." She cast a suspicious eye on Luke.

Luke blushed.

"It's not secrets, Ma. I told you."

"All right, all right. I'll be back in ten minutes."

She got up, squeezed my hand, and left. As soon as she went out the door, Luke moved closer to my bed. I reached up and took his hand into mine.

"How have you really been, Annie?"