Ivory silk. Ivory lace. One-shoulder neckline with a sheer lace back. The pleated bodice is "fitted" and the skirt "flared."

The veil is gossamer chiffon. The train is three feet long.

And these are the shoes: ivory satin pumps.

Let me hold the picture to the light, maybe you can see better . . .

Do you think that I will look . . . pretty . . . in this?

You'd said I was your beautiful girl. Many times you'd said that, Brett. I believed you then, and I want to believe you now.

Please say yes.

YOU WILL WEAR your U.S. Army dress uniform. So handsome in your dress uniform with "decorations."

You will wear the dark glasses. You will wear white gloves. The dress cap, so elegant.

Corporal Brett Kincaid. My husband.

We will practice. We have months to practice.

(YOU'D HAD A "stateside" promotion-you'd said.) (All things have a meaning in the military-you'd said. And so stateside had a meaning but what is that meaning?-we did not know.) (We know only that we are so proud of our Corporal Brett Kincaid.) YOU ARE MISTAKEN-YOU do not look wounded.

You do not look "battered."

You do not look "like shit"!

You are my handsome fiance, you are not truly changed. There will be more surgeries. There must be time to heal, the surgeon has explained. There will be a "natural healing"-in time.

You can't expect a miracle to be perfect!

The ears, the scalp, the forehead, the lids of the eyes. The throat beneath the jaw, on your right side. Except in bright light you would think it was an ordinary burn-burns.

Oh please don't flinch, Brett-when I kiss you. Please.

It's like a sliver of glass in the heart-when you push me from you.

IF PEOPLE ARE looking at you in Carthage it is only because they know of you-your medals, your honors. They are admiring of you, for you are a war hero but they would not want to intrude.

Like Daddy. He is so admiring of you, Brett!-but Daddy has a funny way about him when he's emotional-gets very quiet-people wouldn't believe that Zeno Mayfield is a shy man really.

Well I mean-essentially.

It's hard for men to talk about-certain things. Daddy had not ever had a son, only daughters. To us, Daddy talks. We listen.

And Mom talks about you all the time. When you were in Iraq, in combat, she prayed for you all the time. She worried more when we didn't hear from you than I did, almost . . .

All of my family, Brett. All of the Mayfields.

Try to believe-we love you.

I WISH YOU would come back to church with me, Brett.

Everyone is missing you there.

We have a new minister-he's very nice.

And his wife, she's very nice.

They ask after you every Sunday. They know about you of course.

I mean-they know that you are returned to us safely.

There are other veterans in the congregation, I think. They don't come every week. But I think you know two of them at least-Denny Bisher and Brandon Kranach. Maybe they'd been in Iraq, or maybe Afghanistan.

Denny is in a wheelchair. Denny's younger brother wheels him in. Or his mother. How's Brett Denny is always asking me and I tell him you'll contact him soon . . .

How's Corporal Kincaid. How's that cool dude.

No, please! Don't be angry with me, I am sorry.

. . . I will not bring Denny up again.

. . . I will not bring church up again.

Don't be angry at me, please I am sorry.

JUST FIREWORKS, BRETT! Over at Palisade Park.

The windows are shut. Air conditioner is on.

I can turn the music higher so you won't hear.

I said honey-just fireworks. You know-Fourth of July in the park.

Yes better not to go this year.

I told them not to expect us-Mom and Dad. We have other things to do.

WHICH TABLETS?-the white ones, or . . .

I can bring you a glass of water.

OK, a glass of beer. But the doctor said . . .

. . . not a good idea to mix "alcohol" and "meds" . . .

Don't-please.

WE WILL PRACTICE, in the church. Before the wedding rehearsal, we will practice.

You do not limp. Only just-sometimes-you seem to lose your balance-you make that sudden jerking movement with your legs like in a dream.

I think it is not real. It is just something in your head.

HAND-EYE COORDINATION. THEY have promised.

In the video, you can see how that boy improved.

There are many miracles. The great miracle God has provided is, you are alive and we are together.

The doctor-neurologist-says it is a matter of neuron-recircuiting.

It is a matter of new brain cells learning to take over from the damaged brain cells. It is neurogenesis.

Like not-sleeping. The brain "forgets" how to sleep. Like-sometimes-the brain forgets how to control "elimination." It is no one's fault.

These reflexes will come back in time, the doctor said.

WHEN THE GRENADE exploded, and the wall collapsed.

It was combat. It was in action. Which is why you have been awarded a Purple Heart.

And the Infantry Combat Badge which is a special badge beautiful gold-braided in the shape of a U with a miniature facsimile of a long-barreled rifle against a blue background. A badge to hold in the hand and contemplate like a gem.

Like a gem that is a riddle, or a riddle that is a gem.

How brave you were, from the start.

Which is why you must not feel shame, that you are returned to us.

You are not a traitor or a coward. You did not let your platoon down. You were injured, and you are convalescing. And you are in rehab.

And you will be married.

WE WILL HAVE CHILDREN, I vow. A son.

I know this. This is possible!

We will do it. We will surprise them. In rehab they have promised-the older doctor said, to me-If you love your future husband and will not give up but persevere a pregnancy is not impossible.

Lots of disabled vets have fathered children. This is well known.

The MRI did not detect any growth. The MRI did not detect any blood-clots. The MRI did not detect any "irregularities."

Whatever you see in your head like in dreams is not real. You know this!

CORPORAL BRETT GRAHAM Kincaid.

On the maps, we tried to follow you.

Baghdad-that was the first.

Diyala Province. Sadah.

Where you were hurt-Kirkuk.

Where the maps gave out-faded.

So far from Carthage.

OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM.

Very few people in Carthage know the difference-if there is a difference-between "Iraq" and "Afghanistan."

I know: for I am your fiancee and it is necessary for me to know.

But still I am confused, and there is no one to ask.

For I dare not ask you.

The look in your eyes, at such times!-I feel such cold, a shudder comes over me.

He does not love me. He does not even know me.

Reverend Doig was explaining last Sunday there is no end, there can be no end, never an end to war for there is a "seed of harm" in the human soul that can never be wholly eradicated until Jesus returns to save mankind.

But when will this be?-Jesus returning to us?

Like Corporal Kincaid returning.

Yes I believe this! I want to believe this.

Must believe that there is a way of believing it-for both of us. When Reverend Doig marries us.

WHAT DID I tell them, I told them the truth-it was an accident.

I slipped and fell and struck the door-so silly.

At the ER they took an X-ray. My jaw is not dislocated.

It's sore, it's hard to swallow but the bruises will fade.

I know, you did not mean it.

I am sorry to upset you.

I am not crying, truly!