Anyway, we were listening to music in my room, but it was hard to do because May and June were outside my door singing. They wouldn't stop and they were really annoying. "We're trying to set a world record for singing the longest without stopping," said May.

"We're trying to set a world record for singing the longest without stopping," repeated June.

"GO AWAY! FAR AWAY!" I yelled over the noise. They were driving me crazy. They just kept singing, and June kept repeating everything May was saying and they were really loud.

I put my fingers in my ears like I couldn't take another second, but Billy pulled them out. "Want me to get them to stop?" he asked.

I laughed at Billy. He's good at a lot of things, but I knew even he couldn't reason with the real-life versions of Thing One and Thing Two. "No way can you get them to stop," I said.

That's when Billy made his I'm-always-up-for-a-challenge face. "Watch me."

He opened my door. "You two have awesome voices," he said to May and June. He sounded so sincere, like he was listening to Katy Perry singing in person and was blown away.

Just like that, May and June were quiet. Billy kept talking, slowly, like he was thinking about their talent and trying to decide what to do with it. "You have a very distinct sound. I think you could make an alb.u.m."

Now May and June were really quiet. They were hanging on every word Billy was saying. He crossed his arms and rubbed his chin. "I've got it," he said. "Why don't you write your own songs?" He went and got a stack of paper and pens off my desk and handed it to them. "Really put some thought into what you want to sing, and then write your songs. You should write a lot of them. You're really good. When you're done, you need to practice singing each one." Then he went and got Dad's old tape recorder out of the top of my closet. Honestly, I don't even think it works, but they didn't know that. He handed it to them. "When you're done practicing, record your songs on this. Then we'll see if we can find someone to turn them into a real alb.u.m."

May started jumping up and down. "Are we going to be famous?" she asked Billy.

"Are we going to be famous?" repeated June.

Billy nodded his head slightly like he thought it was a definite possibility.

"We're going to be famous!" they were both screaming and jumping. Before I knew it, May and June took the paper and the pens and the tape recorder, and they were gone. As loud as it had been in my room only moments before, suddenly it was completely quiet.

"You're amazing," I said. I did this little bow like I was worshipping Billy. But when I came back up, something happened that was even more amazing than Billy getting my sisters to go away.

Billy caught my hands like it was possible I might fall over and he wanted to make sure I didn't. I gave him a look like I wasn't going to fall over, but he didn't let go of my hands. Then he leaned over and kissed me.

ON THE LIPS!.

He kissed me just for a few seconds and in a light, soft way, like I was a fragile doll that might break if he pressed too hard, but he definitely kissed me. It wasn't like the toe-touching where I wasn't sure if he knew our toes had touched or not. Our lips definitely touched, and we both knew they did.

I didn't move. I wasn't sure what to do. Then, almost as soon as Billy started kissing me, he stopped, and looked at me. "I've wanted to do that for a long time," was all he said.

I looked at Billy. I wasn't sure what to say. I was confused. First, the toe-touching. I thought I felt something, but it seemed like Billy didn't, so I pretended I didn't. Then he practically stopped talking to me, and then he said he wanted to come over and help me download music. It seemed like everything was back to normal, and then he kissed me. Part of me wanted to ask him why he kissed me and part of me just wanted him to kiss me again. All my thoughts were swirled together in my brain.

Billy and I stood there for a few seconds, looking at each other. Then, the next thing I knew, May and June barged into my room and our moment ended. Billy cleared his throat. "Is your alb.u.m done?" he asked them.

"Not yet," said May. "Your mom called and said you have to go home for dinner. Now!"

"Now!" repeated June.

They had their hands on their hips like they were the dinner police, and it appeared they weren't going anywhere until Billy left. So he gave me a smile and walked out, but it was kind of a lopsided smile like he wasn't sure about what just happened.

And the truth is that I'm not sure about it either. It was my first kiss and it was with Billy. It sounds weird even saying it, but it was weird in a good way.

This morning, the only thing my brain was thinking about was what songs I was going to download on my phone. Now, my brain is thinking about so many different things.

What's it going to be like between Billy and me now that we've kissed? Are we still friends? Are we more than friends? What's going to happen when we go to camp?

Should I tell Brynn what happened? I can't NOT tell Brynn what happened. I tell Brynn everything. And if Billy and I become more than just friends, Brynn will know anyway. But what's Brynn going to say? She always gets excited about stuff she calls "newsworthy," but I'm not sure she's going to be excited about this.

The thing is a Billy and Brynn and I have always been the Three Musketeers. Will we still be the Three Musketeers, or now will we be the Two Musketeers and a Hershey bar?

I'm not sure. Right now, the only thing I'm sure about is that there are lots of things I'm not sure about.

As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal finds herself a little lost.

a"Carrie Bradshaw.

Thursday, May 9, 7:45 A.M.

Homeroom.

If I had naturally shiny, bouncy hair, this morning would have turned out differently. I set my alarm for 6:30 so I could get up and curl my hair. I needed a good hair day because I didn't want to see Billy for the first time after he kissed me and have him think he can't believe he kissed a girl with hair like mine.

I'm also planning to tell Brynn what happened with Billy.

I'm nervous to tell her because I'm not sure how she's going to take it, but Brynn is the person I always talk to when something happens in my life that's worth talking about. It might sound silly, but I want to be having a good hair day when I tell one of my best friends about kissing my other best friend.

Anyway, when I went into the bathroom this morning, I couldn't find my curling iron, so I went into May's room. Even though she never uses the curling iron, she thinks hiding things I use is hilarious. "May, have you seen my curling iron?" I tried to ask in a sweet voice. Sometimes when I talk nicely, she'll just give me back my stuff.

But not today.

"It must be hiding," May said, like the curling iron was able to hide on its own.

"It must be hiding," said June, the backup choir.

I knew what was next. May was going to make me play hot or cold if I wanted to find my curling iron. I really wanted it, so I played. I looked under her bed and behind her dresser and inside her pillowcase. She kept saying hot and cold but not in a way that made any sense.

I kept looking at the clock. It was getting later and later, and my hair wasn't getting any curlier and it didn't seem like I was getting any hotter, so I did the only thing I could think of to speed up the process.

I grabbed May's hair and yelled, "GIVE ME MY CURLING IRON YOU LITTLE BRAT OR YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!"

Unfortunately for me, Mom walked by right then, and even though all I'd done was try to get back what belongs to me, I was the one who got in trouble.

"April Elizabeth Sinclair, what are you doing? That is unacceptable behavior." Then Mom went on for a long time about how as the oldest sister, it's my responsibility to treat my younger sisters in a manner that teaches them how to treat other people. Homeroom is way too short to write about all the blah, blah, blah. The only thing I have to say is that my hair looks like c.r.a.p because Mom went on for so long, I didn't get my curling iron back in time to use it.

10:47 A.M., Study Hall OK. Not having curly hair is the least of my problems.

My biggest problem is Billy, who I've walked past three times since I got to school, and all three times he's ignored me. It's the same thing that happened after the toe-touching, but this time, after the kissing, it's worse. He's not talking to me OR looking at me. I don't get it.

Maybe no curls is my problem. I bet if I had curls, he'd be talking to me. Now I really have to talk to Brynn. I just looked over at Brynn, three desks away, and mouthed, "I have something HUGE to tell you at lunch." She nodded like she gets it.

I don't even care that it's fish stick day in the cafeteria. I can't wait for lunch to get here.

12:55 P.M., Girls' bathroom Lunch didn't go as planned.

I thought Brynn would get that it would be for her ears only when I told her I had something HUGE to tell her. But today Brynn's mindreading skills were at an all-time low.

"Start talking!" she said as she dragged Billy over to the table where I was already sitting. It was so obvious to me Billy didn't want to be there, but it clearly was NOT obvious to Brynn.

"So a what's the HUGE thing that happened to you?" Brynn pretended to stick a microphone in front of my mouth. She poked Billy in the ribs. "Breaking news! April Sinclair has something to say. One. Two. Three. And April, you're on a" She pointed at me like cameras were rolling.

I couldn't move. Billy looked like he was going to throw up. Brynn leaned forward like she was enjoying the suspense. I tried to give Brynn a we'll-talk-later look. Billy gave me a keep-your-mouth-shut look. For three people who always have lots to say to each other, we were strangely silent.

It was complete awkwardness.

I had no idea what to do, so I did the only thing I could think of. I shoved a fish stick in my mouth, pretended to choke, and ran to the bathroom, which is where I am now and where I'm going to stay until lunch is over. Or possibly for the rest of my life, because on the way to the bathroom, I pa.s.sed Matt Parker walking down the hall with a bunch of other eighth graders. He actually waved and said hi to me. Of course, I couldn't say anything back because my mouth was full of fish sticks.

5:15 P.M.

In my room.

The rest of the school day was a disaster.

Brynn kept asking what it was I was going to tell her.

Billy kept glaring at me like I better not say anything.

There was nothing I could do that would make both friends happy. My head was a mess.

When Ms. Crawford called on me in math, I didn't even know what page we were on. How could I think about linear equations when my brain was thinking about how Billy was going to feel if I tell Brynn he kissed me and how Brynn is going to feel when I tell her? Brynn can be unpredictable. She's truth-in-journalism honest when she's the one asking the questions, but sometimes when I tell her stuff, she gets quiet like she's thinking something but doesn't want to say it. Part of me wishes I'd never told her I had something to tell her. But I can't un-tell it, so I asked Brynn if she wanted to go for ice cream after school and talk. We do our best talking over hot fudge sundaes.

But today wasn't one of our best talks. As soon as we got our ice cream and sat down, Brynn told me to start talking. So I just came right out and said it. "Billy kissed me."

Telling Brynn made it feel more real than it had before, even when it happened. I waited for her to say something. I wanted her to make one of her newsflash comments like, "Cute couple alert! April Sinclair and Billy Weiss hook up! This is a happy day in Faraway!"

I hoped she would stick her pretend mic in my mouth and ask for all the juicy details, or even get mad about it. But Brynn didn't do any of that.

There were a few "wows" and "tell me mores," but mostly, she was quiet while I told her exactly what happened in my room with Billy. When I finished, she looked at me and nodded like she heard what I said. Then she ate her ice cream and didn't say much else. This was definitely one of those times when Brynn was thinking something she didn't want to say. I just wish I knew what that something was.

Friday, May 10, 7:53 A.M.

Homeroom.

Good news and bad news.

Good news first: I know what Brynn is thinking.

This morning, when I got to my locker, she had left me a note that said, "NEWSFLASH: April Elizabeth Sinclair gets her first kiss by 7th grade cutie Billy Weiss!" She drew hearts, lips, smiley faces, and X's and O's all over it. She signed it, LYLAS. Luv ya like a sister, Brynn.

I know the note was Brynn's way of saying she's cool with what happened.

She gave me a big hug after I read the note. Brynn really is the sister I wish I had.

Now the bad news: Billy saw Brynn hug me after I read the note. I know the look he gave me, and it was his way of saying he knows that the note and the hugging meant I told Brynn that he kissed me.

I also know the look was his way of saying he's not cool with the fact that I told Brynn. I've known Billy since third grade, and I've never seen him look mad.

Until today.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

a"Judy Garland.

Sat.u.r.day, May 11.

11:30 A.M.

Billy has not spoken to me since Wednesday.

Sunday, May 12.