She nodded. "So you're going to move out."

"I'm going to stay with Haven."

"Right," she said, her throat tight. "I'll speak to my dad about getting the money together to buy you out."

"You know where I am. I'll let you know if I find a place."

She started to cry again. I just wanted to take her in my arms and make everything better. I moved toward her and she pulled farther away.

"I'm sorry," I said, again. "Do you want me to stay tonight?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No, I'll call Kelly. You should go now. I really loved you, Luke."

I closed my eyes. "I know and I love you. I really want you to be happy."

I stood, headed to the guest bedroom and collected my case.

Thank G.o.d the following day was Friday. My brain was close to a meltdown with all the adjustments and contemplations it had been doing recently. I didn't often go drinking with colleagues, but tonight was an exception. I needed to block things out. Alcohol was the perfect treatment. I could dive into those relaxed soporific sensations and let myself drown for a bit. I could use it to block out the guilt and unease, the anxiety over what was next.

Emma's reaction to our breakup had been heartbreaking. Somehow I felt guilty that she wasn't angrier with me. She had every reason to be. Unwittingly, I'd led her to believe that we could be something more. I should have been more sensitive to her.

"Shots!" Mark, one of the other lawyers, shouted as he placed a tray of vodka in front of the group of us gathered in Chancery Bar. I couldn't remember if this would be my fourth or fifth shot, but things were becoming pleasantly hazy.

"Oh, just to warn you, Wendy found out you're single," Mark whispered.

I shuddered. Wendy, our office manager, flirted with most of the lawyers who were single and a number of them had "experienced" her. I wasn't about to be another one of those guys. She wasn't my type.

"You not interested?" Mark asked. "She's s.e.xy."

I shook my head. "Never a good idea to s.h.i.t on your own doorstep."

That seemed to make sense to Mark, and he didn't push it. I scanned the faces in the bar. What was my type? Emma and I had been introduced to each other at a party. She was pretty and funny and smart. I wasn't sure I had a physical type.

We'd been drinking for hours when our group started to thin out. I checked my watch. It wasn't even nine. Jesus, it felt like two in the morning. I didn't often drink shots on an empty stomach. Perhaps it was time for me to go. But the only thing waiting for me at home was a couple that made me want to vomit, they were so in love. I pulled out my phone. What was Ashleigh doing? I could go round. We could talk. I hadn't told her I was ending things with Emma. What would she think? I wanted to know more about how she was feeling about Richard. I wanted to know more about him, whether or not he was good enough for her. More than that, I wanted to understand why thinking about them together made me jealous.

Seeing her suddenly became urgent.

Ashleigh "The building better be on fire," I shouted in response to the banging on my front door. Who the h.e.l.l was making such noise at this time of night? It was just gone nine and I was in my PJ's, my makeup off, watching television. It had been a perfect evening of doing nothing, and now someone was spoiling it.

I checked the peephole and flung the door open. "What are you doing here?" I asked Luke. "Are you drunk?" He squinted as if he was finding it difficult to focus.

"Yup. I really need some water."

I rolled my eyes and stomped off to the kitchen. The door closed behind him as he trailed after me. "It's late, Luke. Why are you here?"

"s.h.i.t." He stood up really straight. "Sorry. Is Richard here?"

I ran the cold tap and filled a gla.s.s full of water. Haven obviously hadn't told him about our breakup. I shook my head. He smiled and headed over to my sofa where he collapsed. "Do you have snacks?" he asked. "Maybe something with cheese?"

"You realize there are plenty of fast food restaurants that you can go to when you're drunk that will feed you carbs and water. There's no need for you to come to me." How was I going to keep my distance from him if he kept following me?

Luke groaned. "Stop complaining, Ash. You love looking after people. That's why you do what you do."

"You should go home," I said. "Shall I call you a cab?"

"Urgh, no. I can't face listening to my sister have s.e.x. Let me stay a bit longer. Hopefully they'll wear themselves out and then I can go home."

He wasn't making sense. "Why are you going to listen to Haven having s.e.x at your house?"

"Could I stay with you?" he asked, and his face lit up and then fell. "No. I don't want to listen to you and Richard going at it either. Maybe I can move in with Kate Upton. I wouldn't mind listening to her having s.e.x."

He was equal parts amusing and annoying when he drank like this. I threw a cushion at him. "You're hammered. Just go back to your place and you can have s.e.x with your own girlfriend."

"I need to find my own place. Will you come flat hunting with me?"

I didn't even pretend to know what he was talking about. "I'll make you a sandwich, and then you're leaving."

I set about making him a cheese sandwich, which I knew was his favorite. I didn't often see Luke drunk since he'd left college. It wasn't like him. And why was he going on about Haven and Jake? He seemed really out of it.

"If you feel like you're going to throw up, then make sure you hit the bathroom," I called into the living room.

He appeared at the door to the kitchen. "That water was good." He refilled his gla.s.s. "You're making me a sandwich?" He sounded a little more normal.

"Apparently I'm a sucker," I said as I cut the bread in half, put it on a plate and handed it to him.

"I shouldn't drink on an empty stomach."

"You think?" I chuckled at him.

"Did I interrupt your evening?"

"Yes." But as ever, I was delighted to see him.

"Was it a popcorn and pajamas evening?" he asked, grinning at me in a way that felt more flirtatious than he meant it to. It was just tortuous.

I laughed. "It doesn't mean that you didn't disrupt things."

"I'm sorry. I just went for a few beers after work and . . . I'm trying to distract myself." He scrubbed his face with his hands.

"Are you okay? You and Emma?"

"Yeah and you know, I know it's the right thing, but breaking up is always difficult. We were together a long time."

My stomach flipped over. Breaking up? I didn't respond.

"Haven told you, right?"

"Told me what? I've not spoken to her for a few days."

"Emma and I split last night. I moved out. I'm staying with Haven and Jake." He took a bite of his sandwich while my stomach took a dive and my head started to spin. "This is really good," he said, pointing to his snack. "You are Ashleigh Franklin? I'm in the right house?"

I tried to act normally. I pushed his shoulder and headed back to the living room. "Don't act so surprised. I can make a sandwich. Tell me about Emma."

"Call me thoughtless and nave, but I'd never realized that she wanted a husband and kids."

"You're thoughtless and nave."

He grimaced.

"You told me to call you that," I said.

"I know." He sighed. "Do you believe it? I mean, I feel horrible."

"I think when one person feels more than another in a relationship it's hard to get it right on either side. It's like you're are using the same map to get to different places. If she was honest with herself, Emma probably knew that you didn't want the same things she did, and that she should have walked away sooner. But you could have been more sensitive too." It was easy to empathize with Emma. We both had a level of feelings for Luke that weren't reciprocated.

"I feel horrible."

I felt happy, and maybe a little hopeful, which I knew was wrong. Luke and I weren't together because he didn't feel that way about me-it had nothing to do with Emma.

"So you've split?"

He nodded.

"Maybe you'll work it out." I was trying to see how resolved he was. Would being away from her allow him to see what he was missing?

"She's not what I want. It's over. So I need to find somewhere to live."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's the right thing, and now that it's done I'm relieved and a little guilty. But there's no sadness or longing."

I understood. It was how I felt about my breakup with Richard.

"I'm so pleased you were in and not out with your boyfriend." He sighed as his head sagged back onto the sofa. He closed his eyes. "What would I do without you?"

His words rang in my ears as I took his plate from his hand, just before he fell into an alcoholic sleep.

Didn't he realize he hadn't just been torturing Emma all these years, but me too?

Luke I scanned the dimly lit hotel bar, but I couldn't see her. f.u.c.king h.e.l.l, I knew she'd be late. Irritation p.r.i.c.kled at my collar. I'd started to type out a text when I glanced up to see her walking toward me. She smiled at me with that wide, infectious smile she had, and I could do nothing but grin back.

My eyes wandered down her body. "Ash," I said because I couldn't think of anything else. She looked . . . well, beautiful. Like, model beautiful. Words stuck in my throat. Jesus, had she always been this pretty? The lights flickered off her cheekbones and lit up her face as her hair tumbled across her exposed shoulders.

"You're looking very handsome," she said as she fingered my bow tie. I took in her familiar scent as she came closer. I filled my lungs, wanting to inhale the way she smelled. It always calmed me. She'd been wearing the same perfume since college-it mixed with her warmth to make a scent that was bespoke to her. I'd dated a girl who had worn the same perfume, but it was different on her. It didn't feel as if it suited her. On Ash it smelled like home. "I saw you come in. Did you think I was late?"

"You look incredible," I managed to say, unable to concentrate on her question. I was stuttering, ruffled by the sight of her, and she was as calm and serene as ever.

She wore a black dress with an indecently low neckline, and although it went down to the floor, every now and then I got a flash of thigh. The fabric skirted across every curve, showing off her small waist and hinting at what lay beneath. "How is that dress legal?"

"Don't start the big brother routine," she said and rolled her eyes at me.

Fraternal was the last thing I was feeling. It felt odd to notice Ash like that-wrong in so many ways, but I wanted to kiss her exposed shoulder. Her skin looked so soft and, well, kissable.

I was going to have to get myself together. I was clearly having a worse reaction to splitting with Emma than I'd expected. I placed my hand on the small of her back and led her out of the bar toward to ballroom.

"What is this thing anyway?" she asked, glancing up at me. "And why am I here?"

"A boring awards dinner. Our firm is up for law firm of the year. We're not going to win, but think of it as free wine and it might not seem so dull."

"Okay. And why am I here?"

"Do you not want to be?" The thought of her being with me as some kind of ch.o.r.e made me wince. I wanted her to look forward to the evening as much as I was. Any evening was improved by Ash being a part of it. She was funny and clever, and she knew me better than I knew myself. How could we not have a great time together? Maybe I'd have to convince her.

"I'll tell you at the end of the evening. I'll give you a score if you like. And then I can tell you if it scored higher than the alternatives for the evening." She grinned up at me.

"What alternatives?" I asked her. What would she be doing this Friday if she weren't with me? Be with Richard, I guessed. "Were you being whisked off to Paris?"

"All right, no need to be sarcastic. I like a night in with Chinese takeout and a Ryan movie."

"A Ryan movie?" I wasn't sure I should ask.

"Reynolds or Gosling. Either of them would do."

I grinned as it took me a second to tune into what she was talking about. "But not Seacrest?"

"Are you kidding? So not my type," she replied as if I'd lost my mind.

What was her type? Movie stars with eight packs? Richard the doctor?

"But as you've brought it up, is Mr. Seacrest your type?" she asked. "Is that the real reason you and Emma split?"

I rolled my eyes. She may look like some kind of fantasy G.o.ddess but she was still the same old Ash, which was just fine with me-perfect even.

We stopped at the entrance to the ballroom in front of the seating plan. "Come on, we're at table twenty-four."

We entered the vast, soulless room, which was full of chatter. To the side, a stage ran across almost the entire length of the room, and the rest of it was full of round tables of twelve seats each. I'd been to a million of these events, and they didn't get more interesting. At least Ash was here tonight, so I'd have more fun than usual. Somewhere along the road, lawyer Luke had become very serious. I guess the more people relied on you and looked up to you, the less fun you could have.

I made various introductions to Ash at our table. She sat to my right, and on the other side of her was a junior partner from our banking department, Isaac. I didn't know him very well. I hoped he didn't bore her. She thought my job was dull enough; I didn't need to give her more evidence.

We all got seated and I leaned toward her. "Are you okay?" I asked. She seemed jumpy, nervous almost.

"Sure," she said. She wasn't being very convincing.

"I appreciate you coming."

"It's fine. I'm sure I'll enjoy myself."

"I'll make sure you do," Isaac interrupted. "What's a beautiful girl out with this old bore for anyway?" he asked, pointing to me.