"The song a sad one in its day, Brought some to verge of tears: But when they heard Von Hinden bray The place was near all jeers!

"'You're off your line,' the singers laugh, Von Hindenburg said 'Nay, I'm only wobbling on the staff, My ba.s.s is weak today.'

"'Your vocal chords are out of joint, Your lines are running wrong, Therefore I think I will appoint Myself to sing a song.'

"So saying, Kaiser Bill arose And clearing out his throat, a.s.sumed that well known lordly pose!

And sang without a note.

"The music with me still abides, My ears with discord ring: Dear mother you would split your sides, To hear the Kaiser sing.

"O, why the agony prolong?

This was the burden of his song:

"'On der sh.o.r.e of Italy Mine Spag-etta vaits for me, I am longing so for thee Mine dear Venus by der sea.

"'Und anodder maiden fair, She vos vaiting 'over there,'

"Und I'll take mine supmarine, Und mine super-air-machine, Und 'Columbia der Chem of der Ocean'

Vill soon be mine own Kaiserine!'"

Here Eitel woke and poked my ribs, And whispered in my ear, "The words to suit his royal nibs Would thusly run, I fear."

"Fair Saint Helena is the maid, That calls thee to her side-- She is lonely, I'm afraid, Since her former war-lord died!"

'Twas at this point a warning dire Came Hertling thru the hall, And danced in words of lurid fire Upon the gilded wall.

And "Mene, Mene," once again A tyrant's eyes behold, The writing on the wall was plain As in the days of old.

And gazing on that fiery scroll The guilty Kaiser quakes-- May G.o.d have mercy on his soul When Germany awakes!

JOHN LABONNE'S DREAM

Or

A SAD AWAKENING

A Song of the Trenches

All las' night I was me dreamin', Dreamin' where de cannon's roar, An' my spirit, so it's seemin', Wend its flight to home once more.

Dare I heard de church bells ringin'

An' de robin red breas' singin', Back to me de tam was bringin'

W'en I part wit' Rosemarie.

Rosemarie! De bells are ringin', oh how sweet de melodie!

Rosemarie! De robin's singin', an' it's always callin' me!

It was springtam an' all nature Seem to join de robin's song, All de sheep an' cattle feel it, For de winter was so long.

O, it was one joyful meetin', Ev'ry creature give me greetin', An' ma heart tattoo was beatin'

W'en I t'ink of Rosemarie.

Rosemarie, ma heart is beatin', O how sweet dat pain can be!

Rosemarie, it kips repeatin', an' each beat is true to thee.

Springtam creep along de meadow, Springtam whisper on de hill; W'ere de sunshine chase de shadow Ro'nd ma home at St. Camille.

Dare it stood, ma well known dwellin', Dat I love beyond de tellin', And ma heart in me was swellin'

W'en I see ma Rosemarie.

Rosemarie, my heart is swellin', and it's all for love of thee!

Rosemarie, it kips on tellin' dat you're all de worl' to me!

Joyfully she come to meet me, Wit' de love light in her eye; Smilin' tru' de tears she greet me-- Nevaire more to say good bye.

W'en I see dem tear drop fallin', Jus' lak dew of early mornin', Hangel voices seem lak callin', Callin' Joe to Rosemarie!

Rosemarie, de angels' callin', O how sweet dat soun' to me!

Rosemarie, you' tear drops fallin' coax ma heart across de sea!

Paradise den open to me, As she whisper, "Welcome home."

To my arms her form I drew me-- Den, Sapre! I wake, an' boom!

Roar of gun for church-bell ringin', Howl of Hun for robins' singin'-- Loving arms no more are clingin': War is h.e.l.l, sweet Rosemarie!

Chorus

Rosemarie, de bells are ringin', O, how sweet dat melodie!

Rosemarie! de robins' singin'

An' it's always callin' me!

THE DERELICT

(When Seattle Was Wide Open.)

I will write a short sketch Of that free hearted wretch Whom all fakirs delight to espy.

He is seen every day Just below Yesler Way, Either "full" or distressingly "dry".

He alights from the train, Or a boat from the main, With intentions both honest and clear.

But the weak-minded wight, Led astray before night, Is filled full of doped whiskey and beer.

How alluring and bright Is each glittering light, As he joyfully watches the throng; And his spirits are gay As a bird's are in May, And as gayly conducive to song.

How seductive the speech In which sirens beseech Him to share the delights of their spree.

Ev'ry man in the set Is "hail fellow well met", And each woman delightfully free!