"Yeah, let's go to your bar?"

"My bar? I don't have a bar."

"You know what I mean, that lesbian bar you like to go to."

It had been weeks since Ashley had been to the bar. In fact, the last time she was there, was the first and last time she had rebuffed Tyler Jackson.

"Hey speaking of lesbians ..."

"Were we speaking of lesbians?" Kelly asked jokingly.

"Yes, we were speaking of lesbians. Now stop. Have you seen Tyler around lately?" Ashley hoped the question didn't give Kelly the wrong idea.

"Funny you should ask. I haven't seen her since my son's birthday party two weeks ago."

"I thought you girls were pretty close?"

"We are, but sometimes she gets in these moods and hibernates for a few weeks. I just give her s.p.a.ce and usually we reconnect when she's ready," Kelly said nonchalantly.

"Oh."

"Why?"

"Oh, no reason. Just trying to make conversation," Ashley said, once again hoping she didn't sound too interested in the missing woman.

"Usually, she's working everyone's shifts, but I asked the guys and they said she's been taking her days off. But something must be going on 'cause one of her buddies asked me if I had seen her lately. Asked him why, and all he said was 'wait till you see her' and then walked off laughing. I'm not sure what that meant, but I'm sure we'll find out sooner or later." Kelly shrugged.

"Hmmm."

Truth was, Ashley had been thinking a lot about Tyler lately. Every time she opened her journal she thought about the gorgeous firefighter. Rereading the pa.s.sages she had written when she stopped and ticketed Tyler and the birthday entry made her wonder more and more about the dark spirit of the woman.

"So, any new women on the horizon, Ash?"

"No, not really. Not that I'm looking. After Leslie-" Ashley stopped mid-sentence. She hadn't told Kelly or anyone, about Leslie. Too ashamed to reveal her secret, she had chosen to keep that part of her life separate from everything else. Hopefully, burying the past kept it in the past, until now.

"Leslie?"

Ashley saw the questioning look on Kelly's face, but tried to change the subject. "Hey have you tried that new steak house over on Harbor? I hear they serve a great Margarita."

"Okay. I get it. You don't want to talk about it."

"Not really. It's a part of my life that's been boxed up and put away." Ashley smiled at her partner. She wasn't in the mood for another trip down nightmare lane.

"Did I know Leslie?" Kelly continued.

"Nope, I don't think so." Ashley turned right then left.

"Turn signal."

"What?"

"Turn signal. You didn't use your turn signal. I'd hate to see you get pulled over for not using your turn signal."

"Oh, right." Ashley hated that she couldn't focus even for just a fraction of a second when Leslie's name was mentioned.

"She gets to ya, huh?"

"Who?"

"Leslie, silly."

"No she doesn't get to me anymore, but she did."

"That good, huh?"

"No, that bad."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know."

Ashley's legs began to shake as she slowed her car down. Afraid she might accidently hit the gas and not brake in time, she slowed the car even more. She felt Kelly rub her leg and sigh.

"How would you? I don't talk about her." Ashley covered Kelly's hand and held it. "Careful, I might think you're coming on to me in my moment of weakness," Ashley said, a nervous laugh squeaking out.

"Ash, are you okay, Honey? You're shaking like a leaf." Kelly's concern almost made Ashley cry. It had been a long time since she had shared anything of her personal life with anyone. She just wasn't that type of person, at least not tonight.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I think I might need that drink after all." Smiling, she glided into a parking s.p.a.ce at Vic's, the local lesbian bar. Looking around, she always looked around now, she tried to see any familiar faces. Only fresh-faced baby d.y.k.es hung out at the front door, stubbing out cigarettes and poking at each other as they eyed all the women that entered. Great! Running the gauntlet, as she referred to it. Ashley wished she could wear her shield in the hopes of scaring off any potential hopefuls, at least hopeful on their part. Many times women saw the badge before they saw who wore it and were attracted to it like p.u.s.s.ycats to cat nip. Instead, she kept her badge tucked in her wallet and put on a smile. It was a gla.s.s half full night and she wanted to keep it that way.

"Hey Sam," Kelly waved to the bartender and signaled for two drinks. "So," Kelly said turning towards Ashley, "what's your type? What does Ms. Right look like?"

Ashley looked around the room and made it a point to notice everyone and quickly dismissed most of the gyrating women. Her type, what was her type? Tall, everyone wanted tall, didn't they? s.e.xy, smart, and drop dead gorgeous didn't hurt.

"Oh, I'd settle for Ms. Right-Now. I guess it depends on the woman." Trying not to sound flippant she continued, "I think I like confidence in a woman. You know the type. She owns the room when she walks in, but isn't arrogant." Taking a sip of her drink, her face twisted briefly. "Hey Sam, could you put a bit more soda in this and a little less courage?"

"Sure thing, Gorgeous." Sam smiled and winked.

"Thanks m.u.f.fin," Ashley joked back.

"Maybe Sam's your type, Gorgeous," Kelly said, smiling.

"Ah, that would be a no. But I do like a butch if you must know." Ashley looked around the room still not spotting anything she would consider possible dating material.

"Really?"

"Really."

"I had you pegged as a femme kinda gal." The perplexed look on Kelly's face almost made Ashley blush, but she didn't know why. "Really?"

"Why so surprised?" Ashley liked the softer butches that had a tool belt, a tight, white boy beater and a smile that went along with the att.i.tude.

"I don't know. Guess I had you pegged as a connoisseur of the femme variety."

"Too high maintenance," Ashley said sipping her drink. "Besides, I'm already high maintenance enough for two. More soda, m.u.f.fin." Ashley slid her drink towards Sam and winked. Leslie had been a femme, so maybe that had something to do with her choices in women. "Call me old fashion, but I like having doors opened for me and a chair pulled out. I can't have that if we are both checking our make-up and pulling down our dress as we get out of a car. Guess I should have been born straight, huh?"

"I think it's sweet. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you lose those ideas of romance and relationships. Shoot, my dad still opens my mom's door. I think it's great actually. I need to train my husband better."

Ashley laughed at the suggestion. Kelly's husband was a heartbreaker, but he was known to be true blue to his wife. The few times Ashley had met him all he could do was talk about Kelly, when he found out Ashley and Kelly were partners. She wanted what Kelly had, a loving partner, a family, and a life outside the force.

"Was it hard?"

"Was what hard?"

"Your relationship with Leslie?"

A long pause rested between the two women. Ashley hadn't expected Kelly to press her about Leslie and she wasn't sure what to say without seeming standoffish.

"It was abusive and now she's gone. End of story." Ashley smiled at Kelly hoping she had said enough to her persistent partner.

"I'm sorry, Ashley. I should learn to mind my own business, but when I saw your reaction in the car, I knew it had to be something bad. If you ever want to talk about it ..." Kelly let the statement hang.

"I'm fine, really. I've been to counseling. I've changed the locks and burned her stuff. It's all good now. Really," Ashley said, trying to sound convincing. She didn't want to explain how she, a trained police officer, had missed all the warning signs of an abusive relationship. What would Kelly think of her then?

"Burned her stuff, huh?"

"Yeah, it was cathartic."

"Did you have a burn permit for that?"

Ashley smiled. It had been cathartic and freeing to burn what few things Leslie left behind. She was sure Leslie would use them as an excuse to come back, but when she told Leslie what she had done, Leslie was furious. Too bad. After what Ashley had been through, Leslie was lucky she wasn't facing a.s.sault charges, at a minimum.

Chapter Twelve.

Tyler sat in the darkened corner watching the women on the dance floor doing their ritualistic mating dance, as she liked to call it. Usually, she would be right there in the middle of the melange, skin on skin, hips brushing against each other. But tonight she was just a spectator. Her self-imposed hibernation period had ended when she came into the bar. She had spent her days off cleaning out some of Jill's things, boxing up uniforms, clothes, and other odds and ends. She had sent some of the items to a benefit store where they could help someone else and the rest she stored in a closet. Tyler's emotions had been all over the place as she remembered fingering a blouse Jill wore or a book she had read.

Hunching her shoulders in defeat, Tyler had begun the hard process of taking down pictures of Jill. Her reasoning felt sound at the time, but now she doubted she could finish the project. It was one thing to box up clothes and brick-a-brac, but another to take down the photos. They were of fun times, of milestones in both their lives and meant more to Tyler than a shirt or earrings. She almost melted as each photo brought a memory and a smile. Every time Tyler looked at a picture of Jill, she felt as if a scab had been pulled off a wound. It had taken all day to pack the photos away, but she had done it. With the exception of two, they were all placed in a box in the corner of the living room. Every day she looked at the box a pang of guilt went spiraling through her body. It was almost more than she could bear, so after a week of looking at the box, she finally had the nerve to put it in the closet in the spare room. The walls, like her heart, were bare, but she knew it had to be done. Now she needed a break from the a.s.sault her mind had been under. She couldn't think of a better way to forget than to head to Vic's Bar and that's how she had ended up at the lesbian bar sipping a drink.

She hadn't seen Kelly since Michael's birthday and Kelly hadn't seen her new haircut yet. This was a situation that looked like it was going to rectify itself quickly as Tyler watched Kelly and Ashley make their way to the bar. Tyler felt electricity shoot through her when she saw Ashley. She had a thing for red-heads. Shoot, who didn't? Tyler thought, looking at Ashley. Tyler noticed that out of uniform Ashley wasn't lean and athletic, she was solid and curvy. From her vantage point she could study Ashley, the way she flipped her hair out of her face, the way she flirted with the bartender, and the way she smiled at Kelly. Tyler watched as Ashley's gaze wandered over every woman in the bar, a slight smile for some and a pa.s.sing glance for others. When Ashley's gaze finally wandered towards Tyler, Tyler turned away and leaned her b.u.t.t against the pool table. Had she been thinking, she would have retreated back into the shadows, further disguising her attendance at the bar. Peaking over her shoulder she looked back and saw Ashley's attention had returned to Kelly and it looked like they were in a deep discussion. Ashley's body language was closed off now. Her shoulders were tense and her hands clenched as she dipped her head and said something to Kelly.

"Wonder what that's all about?" Tyler whispered, suddenly feeling fingers glide across her shoulders.

"What's what all about, s.e.xy?" A sultry voice whispered in Tyler's ear, causing her to blush. "Oh, I love the new cut, Tyler. It's rather roguish on you."

Tyler turned and once again leaned against the unoccupied pool table, her back to Kelly and Ashley.

"h.e.l.lo, Ca.s.sie. I haven't seen you here in a while," Tyler said as the woman wrapped Tyler's arms around her waist.

"I've been here. I think you're the one who's been MIA," Ca.s.sie said, squeezing between Tyler's legs. Sliding closer, Ca.s.sie rubbed herself against Tyler's crotch and purred in her ear, "I've missed you." Fingers ran up the back of Tyler's neck and through her short hair, gently scratching her scalp.

For a brief moment Tyler closed her eyes and rubbed her head against the long fingernails. Her heart started to beat a bit faster and her skin had gooseb.u.mps from the contact. She felt Ca.s.sie rake her nails down her tight t-shirt, which offered no protection from the contact. Tyler knew she would have scratch marks down her back later, but right now she didn't care. Her reaction was instant and visceral, goose b.u.mps sprouted along her arms. Her nipples harden as Ca.s.sie ran her tongue along Tyler's ear and then gently blew into it.

"I see you've missed me," Ca.s.sie said continuing her a.s.sault on Tyler's body.

"Actually-" Tyler began.

"Shh, the body doesn't lie, Sweetie." Ca.s.sie covered Tyler's lips with hers and slid her tongue against Tyler's, begging for entrance.

Tyler felt Ca.s.sie's tongue flick at her top lip and then pull it between her teeth and gently bite it. Tyler was used to the game Ca.s.sie played. They had briefly been lovers a month ago, but it hadn't worked out the way Ca.s.sie had hoped. The slow grind Ca.s.sie was doing against Tyler's crotch was starting to have an effect though, and if Tyler wasn't careful she knew she would do something impetuous. A girl can only handle so much, Tyler thought grabbing Ca.s.sie's hips to stop their movement.

Ca.s.sie wrapped her arms around Tyler's neck, her hips still rocking back and forth across Tyler's.

"Ca.s.sie."

"Hmm?"

"Ca.s.sie." Tyler felt lips kissing her neck and begin to suck on a spot Tyler was sure would be her undoing. "Ca.s.sie, you need to stop, Honey. This isn't the time or place for this."

"Sure it is. You've never complained before?"

The sensual voice was starting to get to Tyler, so she stood hoping to distance herself from the l.u.s.ty advances. Ca.s.sie held on around Tyler's neck and raised her knees up, putting them on the pool table. Tyler noticed this brought Ca.s.sie closer and her b.r.e.a.s.t.s practically flush with Tyler's face. G.o.d, why am I being tortured like this, Tyler thought as she wrapped her arms around Ca.s.sie, keeping her from pitching them both forward. The low cut top gave Tyler a perfect view of Ca.s.sie's soft b.r.e.a.s.t.s and tempted Tyler more than the sweet perfume that wafted off them. Tyler snaked out a tongue and slid it between the soft mounds then instantly regretted the move. Ca.s.sie arched her back slowly, pressing her crotch against Tyler's stomach. The movement caused Tyler to cup Ca.s.sie's a.s.s, discovering Ca.s.sie wasn't wearing underwear beneath her skirt. The proximity of Tyler's hands to Ca.s.sie's p.u.s.s.y made Tyler's body clinch at the contact. She wasn't a nun, but she was trying to change, wasn't she? Tyler could feel wetness start to cover her pinkies. Tyler felt Ca.s.sie tighten her p.u.s.s.y at the contact and knew she was a goner. Tyler had will power, but this was ridiculous. Ca.s.sie wanted her, so why shouldn't she give Ca.s.sie what she wanted? A mindless f.u.c.k without strings wasn't out of the question, was it?

Ashley looked around the bar. What was her type, she wondered. After everything with Leslie, she was shocked she could still consider even having a type. "Life goes on," her mom used to say when something bad happened. The eternal optimist, Ashley called her. It hadn't rubbed off on Ashley or, if it did, it rarely showed itself to her anymore. Jaded? No. Realistic? Yes. Ashley was glad she hadn't introduced Leslie to her mom, even when Leslie insisted she wanted to meet her "future mother-in-law". The relief that Leslie didn't know where her mother lived gave Ashley some comfort. It was clear that Leslie would use whatever leverage she could to try and get her back and her mother would be no exception, Ashley was sure.

Femmes filled the dance floor and d.y.k.es stood on the outside like they were lions zeroing in on prey. Each d.y.k.e had her own style, her own look. Most of the time Ashley shied away from the hardcore butches. They were ... Ashley clenched her fist and looked down.

"Hey, you okay?"

Ashley felt Kelly rub her arm. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." Ashley gave a half-hearted smile and looked back around the room.

"So, what's your type? Point her out and I'll go get 'er." Kelly laughed.

"Yeah, right." Ashley laughed, too.

"No, seriously. Point her out and I'll go chat her up for you. If she pa.s.ses muster, I'll bring her over. Besides, it isn't like we have the same taste in women." Kelly raised her eyebrows and smiled again. "Right?"

"You're straight right? You're not gay for the stay are you? I mean you aren't one of those who considers bringing a lesbian home to freshen up your marriage, are you?" Apprehension quickly crossed Ashley's face before she reconsidered what she said. She had been hit on just for that purpose once or twice and it p.i.s.sed her off.

"You're funny." Kelly poked her with her elbow and pointed, "Hey what about her?"

Ashley looked in the direction Kelly was pointing and smiled. The butch woman had a tough look, but a cute smile. Ashley looked at Kelly who was still pointing at her and raised her eyebrows. Ashley quickly turned towards the bar and grabbed her drink.

"Aw, no. She isn't my type," Ashley said, praying the woman wouldn't come over and talk to them.