"A while back, I accompanied her back to her hometown, ever since then, it became harder for me to accept you . "

Yang Sisi widened her mouth .  "You… Previously, when you weren't in Beijing, it's because you went to her hometown?"

"Yes . "

"So that night when you canceled dinner all of a sudden, it was because of her?"

"Mmh . " Xu Jiamu knew that his honesty was hurtful, but he wasn't willing to deceive her . From the moment he had asked for her number, he had already hurt her . The only thing he could do now was to be truthful, it was the only form of respect he could offer .  

"When you called me and agreed to meet in Beijng, it was to break up with me?"

"Yes . " Xu Jiamu nodded lightly .

Yang Sisi couldn't suppress her tears .  "Didn't you end things with her? Weren't you prepared for a new life? What changed your mind? Did things work out between the two of you?"

"No . " Xu Jiamu shook his head, the scene of Father Song at his deathbed flas.h.i.+ng past his mind . His gaze turned glazed .  "It was because I realized that after so many years, the first one who inflicted harm wasn't her but me . "

Yang Sisi blinked her tear-stained eyes, looking up at him wordlessly, waiting for him to continue .

"She was with me for eight years, from when she was nineteen to twenty-seven . It was the most beautiful period of her life, and during those eight years I didn't know when she fell ill, I didn't know when she quit school, when she was injured, when she was bullied, when she spent her New Year's alone, when she called from loneliness . . . .  

"Eight years, three thousand nights and I didn't know anything about her .

"The most hurtful thing wasn't my harsh words or the child that was aborted, but the negligence .

"And I had neglected her for eight years .

"She gave me eight years worth of time and opportunities, waiting for the day I would cherish her, but never once was she rewarded .

"During those eight years, I didn't give her any care, warmth, or the slightest bit of happiness . . .

"Can you imagine something? I helped you carry your bag, grabbed onto your shoulder to protect you from traffic, s.h.i.+elded you in my embrace when it was crowded, gave you a hot cup of ginger tea when you were on your period, endured the scorching heat to get you the drink you wanted, bought you whatever you desired . . . But imagine, I've never done any of these in the eight years I was together with her .

"Everything I'm now is all because of her .

"If it wasn't for her, I would never be the sensitive Xu Jiamu I'm now .

"She used eight precious years to change me . . . " Xu Jiamu's eyes turned red .  "How can I use the things she taught me on another women?

"So . . . " Xu Jiamu's voice weakened .  "I'm really sorry, I really can't continue this . . . "

Because . . . She made me better, so I can only use everything I learned for her .

Yang Sisi stared at him for a long while in silence .

"A while back, I accompanied her back to her hometown, ever since then, it became harder for me to accept you . " . . .

Yang Sisi widened her mouth .  "You… Previously, when you weren't in Beijing, it's because you went to her hometown?" .

"Yes . " .

"So that night when you canceled dinner all of a sudden, it was because of her?" .

"Mmh . " Xu Jiamu knew that his honesty was hurtful, but he wasn't willing to deceive her . From the moment he had asked for her number, he had already hurt her . The only thing he could do now was to be truthful, it was the only form of respect he could offer .   .

"When you called me and agreed to meet in Beijng, it was to break up with me?" . . .

"Yes . " Xu Jiamu nodded lightly

Yang Sisi couldn't suppress her tears .  "Didn't you end things with her? Weren't you prepared for a new life? What changed your mind? Did things work out between the two of you?" .

"No . " Xu Jiamu shook his head, the scene of Father Song at his deathbed flas.h.i.+ng past his mind . His gaze turned glazed .  "It was because I realized that after so many years, the first one who inflicted harm wasn't her but me . " .

Yang Sisi blinked her tear-stained eyes, looking up at him wordlessly, waiting for him to continue

"She was with me for eight years, from when she was nineteen to twenty-seven . It was the most beautiful period of her life, and during those eight years I didn't know when she fell ill, I didn't know when she quit school, when she was injured, when she was bullied, when she spent her New Year's alone, when she called from loneliness   . . .

"Eight years, three thousand nights and I didn't know anything about her

"The most hurtful thing wasn't my harsh words or the child that was aborted, but the negligence

"And I had neglected her for eight years

"She gave me eight years worth of time and opportunities, waiting for the day I would cherish her, but never once was she rewarded

"During those eight years, I didn't give her any care, warmth, or the slightest bit of happiness

"Can you imagine something? I helped you carry your bag, grabbed onto your shoulder to protect you from traffic, s.h.i.+elded you in my embrace when it was crowded, gave you a hot cup of ginger tea when you were on your period, endured the scorching heat to get you the drink you wanted, bought you whatever you desired . But imagine, I've never done any of these in the eight years I was together with her

"Everything I'm now is all because of her

"If it wasn't for her, I would never be the sensitive Xu Jiamu I'm now

"She used eight precious years to change me . " Xu Jiamu's eyes turned red .  "How can I use the things she taught me on another women? .

"So . " Xu Jiamu's voice weakened .  "I'm really sorry, I really can't continue this . " .

Because . She made me better, so I can only use everything I learned for her

Yang Sisi stared at him for a long while in silence