He answered by filling me again. Then a series of fierce thrusts that took me outside of my body.

I was lost. Free falling. Completely at his mercy.

"I'm coming," I moaned. Because, sweet Jesus, I needed to. My whole body buzzed, tensing around his penetration. He was everywhere. Incredibly deep.

He made a desperate sound and buried himself deep enough to set off one last wave of pleasure through me.

A quiet tone went off in the distance, and I remembered where we were. Must not have mattered because Darren didn't move. His breath was ragged like my own.

I was weak. Drained. Emotionally frazzled. Physically sated.

We'd resolved nothing. We'd only satisfied an ache that never seemed to wane.

DARREN.

I tried to catch my breath. What the hell had just happened?

I slipped from her, and she turned in my arms. Christ. She'd walked into the room the picture of elegance, and I'd reduced her to this. Her bared breasts were mottled with dark red from where I'd sucked her, badly wanting to make the marks that could show anyone else who cared that she was in fact mine. Her ass wore the imprint of my hand. I'd nearly shredded the condom to come inside her. The need to possess her ran that deep.

I'd lost my goddamn mind. All sense of control and self-preservation had flown out the window. How had I grown to care for a woman this much?

Her cheeks were flushed. God, she was beautiful down to her bones. Even if she didn't love me, I loved her, past her skin and the physical attributes that had attracted me to her.

All her raw beauty, her fire, her kind heart. The whole of who she was had taken hold of me, challenged me, changed me. I couldn't help but want to fight for her.

Day by day, I'd fallen into this dangerous attraction, so consumed that I was losing all sense of who I was.

I'd risked my job this morning without a second thought. I'd let a few swings fly in the military, but those careless days had passed.

I slept with women, took and received physical pleasure, discarded any problematic feelings, and carried on with my life. I never tried to take their hearts. That had all changed with Vanessa, and I was in over my head. This was wrong. For her. For me.

In an instant, I saw everything differently-raw and more clearly than I'd ever wanted or intended to.

I stepped away from her, immediately regretting the loss of her warmth and the memory of her tight around me. I buried the condom in the trash and tried to pull myself together. I could straighten myself out, but my head was a clusterfuck of emotion.

Nothing but the shuffling of shoes on the concrete floor and the quiet rustle of clothes coming back into place pervaded the sound of my heart beating in my ears. A heavy silence. Filled with all the things that were welling up inside of me. Things I didn't want to say but had to.

Finally I came to face her. "I'm in a world of shit if anyone finds out what happened here. You should go."

"I'm sorry."

Hurting her now would be easier than hurting her later. "I'm sorry too."

She froze for a second and then blinked as if she'd caught the true meaning of the words.

"I'm sorry I let this get so out of hand." I steeled myself to say what I needed to say. I went to war inside, but reaching for the man I was before she came into my life was easier than I'd expected. "With everything that's gone down...maybe we should take a break."

A hint of glassiness swept her eyes. A cold mask tightened my expression as I guarded myself for the worst. I'd cut things off with women before, when they started wanting a relationship, expecting that I could be capable of one. It was never easy, never something I welcomed or enjoyed in the least. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I had to protect myself. Now, I had to protect us both from a path that I wasn't sure was good for either of us.

"What are you saying?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Things are moving too fast. This morning was proof of that. We should take some time, let the dust settle for a while, and figure out what we really want here."

"Is this about Reilly?"

I shrugged. "Maybe."

"I don't know what he said-"

"Falling for you is ripping my fucking life apart, Vanessa. I'm risking things I'd never risk."

She swallowed hard and straightened before me. "Your timing is impeccable, Darren." The strength in her voice wavered, as if she were close to tears even if her expression didn't show it.

I opened my mouth to speak, to somehow justify how I could have sex with her and then say the words I'd just said. But before I could, she pushed past me.

"Vanessa."

I was calling her back and I'd barely let her go. Sickness twisted inside me.

"Vanessa!"

She was out of sight, and I rushed out the door. Down the hall after her and a second later, I was standing outside the station, watching her get into a cab and disappear down the street.

She was gone.

And I'd let her go.

VANESSA.

Once the tears started, I couldn't stop them. The cab driver was eyeballing me in the rearview mirror. I didn't care.

Darren had ripped my heart out tonight, and I had seen it coming a million miles away. I'd known it weeks ago. Falling in love with Darren had been a mistake. Maybe I hadn't said the words, but I'd said it in my heart. I loved him. I'd let him inside me in all the ways that mattered.

Despite his promises, despite the passion between us, I'd known full well that I was flirting with disaster. A raging fire, so beautiful and seductive that I couldn't resist-I'd walked right into it, knowing full well the risks.

Some people couldn't change. They weren't meant to. Deep down I knew this. I'd grown up knowing it.

I scolded myself over and over, but the truth was that Darren was temptation personified.

Now I had to pick myself up from the ashes.

I walked into the apartment and dropped my things onto my chair. I paused at the threshold into the living room.

Eli was sitting cross-legged on the couch, a full glass of wine in his hand. "You okay?"

I shook my head, and the tears started again. "No, I am not okay," I muttered. I'd just been screwed and disposed of by the man I loved.

"What's wrong?" He jumped up and came toward me.

The closer he came, the less control I had over the sobs that racked my chest.

"Come here, hon."

His arms came around me, and we crumbled into a heap on the floor. He, hushing me as I cried, and I, purging the last of Darren Bridge, swearing to everything holy that I'd never let him hurt me again.

DARREN.

I felt her slipping away every second she was gone. She was upset, and rightly so. I'd fucked her and told her to get out of my sight. Something I was used to, but the fact that I'd done it to the woman I loved was making me sick.

Something had snapped. Reilly's words clanging in my head. The feel of his face too fresh on my knuckles. I balled my hand into a fist, ready to find the guy and punch him into next week, even knowing it would solve nothing.

What I needed was a stiff drink, but the punching bag at the station gym was calling my name. I walked in, and Ian was doing pull-ups nearby. He said something as I passed that I didn't hear. I went right to the heavy bag and hit it hard without breaking stride.

"Whoa, buddy. You all right?"

"Stay away from me." I hit the bag again hard. This wasn't exercise. This was violence.

"Darren. Buddy. Slow down. You're going to break your hand." Ian was beside me now but giving me a wide berth.

"Don't fucking care." I hit again and again. Slowing down only every few rounds.

"You're going to care when you're out on disability getting fat. What's going on?"

I kept hitting it. How many times it would take before I could get her out of my head? Never had a woman do this to me. Never. Why now? Why her?

Bang. Bang. Bang. My hand was starting to ache, but I welcomed the pain. Had to feel it, until I couldn't feel anything at all.

"Is it Vanessa?"

I paused. Ian had never used her name before. She was always the redhead, the chick who had me pussy whipped, the broad. I narrowed my gaze at him.

"So she's a person to you now?"

"She's your girlfriend."

Bang. "Not anymore."

He hesitated, eyeing me cautiously. "What happened?"

I stopped to catch my breath.

"I broke her boss's nose, and when she came to talk to me about it tonight, I fucked her and told her to leave."

"Wha- Okay." He shook his head. "Tell me about the boss."

"He came onto her when they were out of town. They got off the plane and I punched him. She freaked out and told me to leave. Yeah, that was about thirty seconds after I told her I loved her. Not sure. She could be fucking him."

"Jesus Christ, I do not envy you."

Deep down I knew she wasn't. But like her, I was becoming prone to believing the worst.

I continued throttling the bag and abusing my knuckles. I spoke through my clenched teeth. "Doesn't matter now. I'm sure I'll be back on the plan shortly. Go to a bar, get a few drinks, fuck a girl I don't care about."

An old tape, one that had lost its glimmer a long time ago. I could go out after work and find anyone to get Vanessa out of my system, but I knew it wouldn't fucking work.

Meanwhile, she could do the same damn thing. Let Reilly finally take what he wanted from her. The scene played out in my head, and white rage cut through me.

I hit the bag as hard I could and stifled a groan when I felt a snap. Pain speared through my hand and ricocheted up my arm. Gritting my teeth, I slowly accepted what I'd done.

Stupid. You're a stupid piece of shit.

I closed my eyes and let my head rest against the cool leather of the bag. I'd broken my hand. What was worse, I was destroying the only thing in my life that had ever really mattered. I was losing her. I might have already lost her.

VANESSA.

I mumbled the lyrics from a sad old song that played from my speakers. My throat was froggy, and my eyes stung from all the tears I'd cried.

After about a half hour of bitching and crying, I convinced Eli I'd be fine even when I knew it was an outright lie.

I'd put on one of my mom's old Bonnie Raitt albums, grabbed Beau, and stared at the ceiling.

Darren Bridge had campaigned for my heart, and then he'd thrown it away. He was an amazing lay and a total bastard.

I squeezed my eyes closed, willing away a fresh wave of tears.

I could still feel him inside me. My muscles already ached from being pounded against a desk. I'd feel him for days...

The memory was imprinted on my skin. Literally. I was still wearing marks from the incredible sex we'd had. Maybe that's what he'd wanted all along. Worse, the memory was imprinted on my heart. I could only hope it would fade like the marks.

The phone rang, distracting me from my misery. My heart pounded unevenly when I thought Darren might call. Not that I'd answer.

It was an unknown number. I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Vanessa?"

"Who is this?"

"It's me, Michael."

I hesitated a second. "Oh." I'd completely forgotten about his call last week.

He cleared his throat. "Did you get my message?"

"Yes, I did. I'm sorry. I've been really busy."

"No problem. I understand. I've been in town for a couple of days. I was hoping we could catch up."