He grabbed his phone from the bed with a curse. "Do you want me to call her right now and explain to her in detail what my relationship with you means to me?"

"Don't bother. You're officially back on the market."

I tried to move past him, but he blocked me. In the small room and with his large frame, it didn't take much.

"Like hell I am."

"Just go."

"I'm not going to cheat on you, Vanessa." He placed his hands on my arms.

The possessive touch gave weight to his words, but how could I believe him?

"That's reassuring," I said, unable to meet his imploring gaze. "Let me go. I need to get ready for work."

"Let's talk about this."

"I don't have time to talk to you, Darren," I snapped. "Now, get out."

I twisted out of his grasp, went to the bathroom, and locked the door behind me. Leaning against the door, I listened for him. As if I could hear his regret, his love, anything at all that might take some of this pain away. All I could hear was my heart beating angrily in my chest. All I could feel were painful wet tears stinging my eyes.

Inhaling a deep breath, I pushed off the door and turned the shower on. I stepped in and my tears disappeared, disguised under the spray of the water.

DARREN.

I texted Cameron, letting him know we needed to talk. He was still at home so I walked in the direction of the brownstone he now shared with his bride. Maybe having Maya as a witness would help.

Because nothing could possibly be worse right now. I was a fucking idiot, and Maya was right. Vanessa didn't deserve to deal with this shit. And I certainly didn't deserve her heart. Even as I sensed her becoming mine a little more each time we were together, this morning was a classic reason why she'd been right to be guarded. But I wasn't letting her go without a fight.

I cursed to myself as I walked, sometimes out loud, earning a few odd stares from strangers on the street. I didn't give a shit. This morning had been amazing and a total goddamn disaster.

For all my wanting to give her the perfect night, this was where I'd landed.

I didn't bother knocking but walked right into the apartment.

Cameron was sitting at the kitchen table, coffee in hand. Maya was on the couch with a book. I looked between the two of them before taking a chair across from Cam.

"I fucked Raina."

His jaw was tense, and his gaze seemed fixed on the coffee cup in front of him. "I know."

"She told you?"

Maya looked up from her book for a second.

"She figured it'd be better for me to hear it from her first." Cam's words were slow and deliberate.

I got the strong sense that he was harnessing a good amount of anger toward me. "And?"

He took a deep breath. "And she was right. Kept me from putting my fist through a wall. Not sure if she could have kept me from putting it to your face if you'd been there."

I nodded. "I deserve that."

"Now I need to address it with Raina."

I drummed my fingers on the table, trying to guess how horrible that was going to be. "Maybe you should let me-"

"No way."

"I wish we could just drop this. Pretend like nothing happened."

"That's obviously not working out." Maya rose and sat down beside us at the table. "Raina had her hands all over you, so she obviously thinks whatever happened can happen again."

"I'll explain that I met someone. It'll be good practice." I stared down at my hands. They turned into balled fists when I remembered Vanessa's devastated look when she'd read those text messages. "I've made a real mess of things. With Raina. And now with Vanessa..."

I shook my head and shoved my hands through my hair with a heavy sigh. I had to fix this somehow. But I had a lot of damage to repair to even come close.

"Did you tell her?" Maya's voice was calm, infused with concern that gave me a little hope.

"I was going to. We had..." I sighed again. "We got sidetracked. I was going to try to explain things to her, but I didn't. She saw some texts from Raina and others this morning."

"And..."

"And I'm pretty sure she never wants to see me again. Can't say I blame her."

The silence that fell over the table was loud with all the things I knew they wanted to say. Didn't matter. I was the master of my own self-loathing right now.

"I think I'm in love with her," I muttered quietly.

When I looked up, Cameron's eyes were wide. Maya's were softer.

Cam blew out an audible breath. "Wow. I guess I never expected to hear that come out of your mouth."

I stared blankly at the table. "No one's more surprised than I am. But when am I ever going to find a girl like her again?"

"You should know, since you've sampled about half the available women in New York."

"What are you going to do?" Maya asked.

"I have no idea. I don't think she'll see me again."

Another minute passed before Maya spoke. "Okay. I have a plan."

I raised my eyebrows and waited for any hope she could give me.

"Cam and I have an announcement to make, and we wanted to bring everyone together for it anyway. Let me coordinate a dinner for tonight. I'll invite Vanessa and you, of course. I can't guarantee anything, but at least it gets you in the same room with her."

"She usually works late. How do we know she'll even show?"

"We'll do it close to her office so she won't have an excuse."

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get her back. I need a chance to make this right."

She stood again. "Don't make me regret it."

I nodded. Maya was giving me a chance I didn't deserve.

Chapter Thirteen.

VANESSA.

I arrived at the office of Reilly Donovan Capital with three minutes to spare. I was usually early to work. Despite the hellish morning I'd had, I was grateful to at least be on time this morning. I wasn't sure I could deal with Reilly's wrath if I hadn't been. I smoothed my hands down my black pants and straightened my blouse so the wide scoop centered on my chest.

The door was dark and imposing, its facade made of an ornately carved wood that seemed to belong in an older structure, like an early bank. I pushed it open and entered the reception area. Maroon walls were decorated sparsely with gold-leaf-framed artwork. Even the paintings seemed dark.

I approached one of two desks that faced one another. A woman my age, maybe a little older, lifted her head. She had big brown eyes, and her dark hair was short and curled against her scalp.

"Hi, you must be Vanessa." She rose and shook my hand.

"That's me." I lifted my shoulders, unable to shake the first-day jitters, even knowing I'd be providing much of the same support to David as I had before. Her friendly countenance was a reassuring start.

"I'm Adriana, Bill Donovan's assistant. They're on a call right now, but I can show you around and give you the lay of the land."

"That would be great."

She spent the next ten minutes guiding me through the various rooms. The conference room was occupied for their call, but both David and Bill's offices were as lavish as one would expect-dark polished surfaces, expensive liquors nearby, and views to the street below. If I had a million dollars or more to invest, perhaps all of those details and the scary bank door would give me a measure of comfort.

Near the entryway, Adriana guided us back to our desks. Mine was already nearly obscured with stacks of paperwork. My head started spinning as I began mentally organizing it all.

"Looks like I'd better get to work."

She nodded. "I'll let you get situated, and we can go over whatever questions you have. I have a system, but since we're starting new with this venture, I'd like to get your input too so we can stay efficient."

"Sounds great."

I powered on my computer and started sorting through the paperwork on my desk. I threw myself into every task, for once welcoming the distraction of the thousand things I needed to do today. My appetite had vanished, so I worked through lunch, not pausing until Reilly called me into his office hours later.

"In my office now, please."

I scrambled for my notebook. Something was definitely wrong. I closed the door to his office and settled into a chair across from his desk. "Is everything okay?"

He slumped into his swivel chair. "My grandmother passed away a few days ago."

Only then did I notice the tired look in his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"I have to go up to the Hamptons for her funeral."

"Of course. I'll hold things down here. Whatever you need."

He shook his head and fumbled through the papers on his desk, seeming distracted. "No. I need you there with me."

For a minute, I sensed something a little desperate in his voice, but quickly the hard-faced Reilly I knew too well met my concerned stare.

"There are some things that need to be taken care of at the summer house up there anyway."

The last thing I really wanted was to head out of town with Reilly, but my job was hardly on solid ground with this transition.

"Of course. I'll make travel arrangements."

"Good. No need for a hotel. We'll stay at the summer house."

I nodded and stood to leave.

"And a coffee, please."

"Sure."

In the office's little kitchenette, I prepped a fresh brew and brought him a cup. When I set his mug down, his hand grazed mine. I froze.

"Thank you...for everything." He looked up at me with those gray eyes that I'd grown to dread.

"You're welcome," I answered quietly.

He moved his hand away, and I left without another word.

Reilly had left the office earlier than usual, allowing me to do the same. Maya had insisted I make dinner with her and Cameron tonight. I was curious what her big announcement could be. I took the empty seat next to Eli. I hadn't seen him since his sleepover with Taylor last night and was surprised that he was solo again so soon.

"Where's the boy?"

"He's on a flight to Dubai. Photographing cityscapes." He sighed, and a faraway look touched his eyes. "Probably getting screwed by some beautiful sheik."

"You're letting your imagination run away a bit, I think."

He twirled his straw around in his drink. "Maybe I am. Would help if he stayed in town long enough to make me believe he cared."

"Have you told him how you feel?"

I was one to talk. I'd fully admitted to myself that I loved Darren but couldn't get the words out. Not that any of that mattered now. I shoved the feeling back down, but every time I imagined Darren's gorgeous face, it reared back up again, dominating the forefront of my mind. The amazing things he'd said to me the last time we were together. The way he seemed completely overwhelmed by our connection in the same way I did.

I loved Darren. And I hated that I did.