Just inside the village gates stood an inn, its function as unmistakable in China as in England. Troth took them through a broad arch into a courtyard where three of the four walls had doors leading into guest rooms, while the fourth was a shed. The air was ripe with the odors of animals and frying fat.

Before Troth had even finished tethering the donkey, a middle-aged woman bustled from the manager's quarters with a tea tray. As she and Troth conversed, a cup of steaming tea was gently pressed into Kyle's hand. He raised the cup clumsily to his lips, a.s.suming that even a deaf, blind grandfather should be able to manage tea.

After he'd drunk, Troth took the cup and went inside with the woman while Kyle relaxed on the donkey, cultivating patience. In England he'd been accustomed to servants taking care of life's menial tasks, but that had changed when he left on his travels. His long-term valet had declined to follow his master to foreign places, and the manservant who'd replaced him had left Kyle's service in India.

Unable to find an acceptable subst.i.tute, he'd decided to manage for himself while he was in Canton, and found that he rather enjoyed the privacy of not having a manservant constantly underfoot. Now Troth was handling every aspect of their journey, and it felt rather odd to return to idleness.

Still, entertainment presented itself. A very small child toddled up to the donkey. As he regarded Kyle with great solemn eyes, he squatted, his trousers opening along the crotch seam as he relieved himself on the soil of the courtyard. Kyle blinked behind his gauze bandage. While the boy's garment was a very practical design, it would never catch on in London.

Two pretty young women wearing heavy cosmetics pattered up on bound feet. Probably they were prost.i.tutes, since the inn would be a good source of business. One took the child's hand and led him away, but the other stayed and surveyed Kyle.

Apparently reaching a favorable conclusion, she patted Kyle's knee-no, above the knee; her hand was sliding up his thigh. As she rattled off a cheerful question, he froze, embarra.s.singly aware that his body was responding to her practiced caress. Was this a local custom that his guide had neglected to explain?

Troth stormed from the inn, barking gruff imprecations at the prost.i.tute. Unintimidated, the girl answered back, and a sharp exchange occurred. It ended when the girl smiled wickedly and trailed a provocative hand down Troth's arm. Then she minced away, hips swinging in invitation.

Muttering oaths, Troth led the donkey across the courtyard and helped Kyle down with a viselike grip on his elbow. The bedroom opened directly off the courtyard and was dominated by a platform bed. Kyle glanced around as she returned to the donkey for their baggage. Furnishings were spa.r.s.e and the small, high windows were covered with paper that admitted only a dim light, but he'd stayed in worse places.

After Troth came in, kicking the door shut behind her, he asked softly, "What was that business in the courtyard all about?"

She dumped the baggage unceremoniously by the wall. "Wasn't it obvious? That hound-begotten s.l.u.t was looking for customers."

"That I guessed, but the discussion between you seemed rather prolonged."

"I told her you were too old to traffic in trollops and that she insulted your dignity," Troth said acidly. "After which she informed me that you most certainly were not too old, and she'd service you for free because of her great reverence for her elders."

"What a hospitable nation this is!" Kyle said, amused by the absurdity.

Troth gave him a dagger glance. "Should I call that harlot in so you can take advantage of her generosity?"

"Of course not. But I'm... impressed"-he began to laugh-"at how far the Confucian 'honor one's elders' philosophy is carried."

Troth leaped at him and clamped a hand over his mouth. "For heaven's sake!" she hissed. "Do you want to bring everyone in this inn down on us? Anyone who hears will know you're no invalid grandfather."

His laughter vanished as she pressed against him. Through the gauzy bandage, he could barely see the outline of her features, but the warmth of her body was palpable. The lingering arousal caused by his encounter with the prost.i.tute kindled into fierce need, not for any woman, but for this one. He cupped her cheek, smooth as warm silk. It had been a long time since he'd been with a woman, and far, far longer since he'd desired one as much as he desired Troth.

Body took over from brain and he bent to kiss her. The brims of their straw hats collided and hers fell back onto the floor. Dangerous, dangerous folly, but her mouth was so sweet, so welcoming. As the kiss deepened, he slid his hands downward, feeling the supple strength of her back, the warm curve of her hips as he drew her close.

For a blissful moment she melted against him. Then she pulled away, her eyes wide and dazed. "I... I must stable the donkey. And food. I'll get food." She scooped her hat up and bolted from the room, pulling the brim low to hide her face.

Blood pounding, he sank onto the edge of the bed. How could he have been so stupid? The trip had hardly begun, and already he had succ.u.mbed to temptation.

It would be child's play to seduce her, but he was a man, not a child, and seduction of an innocent was profoundly dishonorable. Only a scoundrel would take advantage of her inexperience. In Britain she would have a chance to be the woman she longed to be. Intimate involvement with him now would interfere with that irrevocably.

He was skilled in self-control, and certainly that was the right course with Troth. Why did it have to be so d.a.m.ned difficult?

Troth brushed down the donkey with shaking hands. G.o.ds, but it had been hard to leave Maxwell! She had wanted nothing more than to draw him to the bed so that he could teach her of the mysteries between man and woman. But that embrace had happened too abruptly. Instinct told her that there must be more between them than pa.s.sion, or a bedding would leave them awkward and guilty: she'd feel awkward, and he'd feel guilty. In any case, the timing was wrong.

By the time she finished grooming the donkey, the beast was sleeker than it had ever been in its lowborn life. She left the stable, which was an open shed to the left of the main entrance. The gate was closed now that night had fallen, and a single wavering torch illuminated the courtyard.

Luckily, only a few rooms of the Inn of Heavenly Peace were occupied tonight, which meant that she and Maxwell would have some privacy. They were becoming skilled at conversing in voices so low that no one more than a few feet away could hear, but a momentary lapse could have serious consequences.

She stopped by the kitchen and collected the tray of food she'd ordered earlier from the innkeeper's wife. When she returned to the room, she saw with a pang of regret that Maxwell had made a pallet on the floor for her. Obviously he'd recovered from his earlier pa.s.sion.

After she entered he dropped a heavy wooden bar into the brackets on each side of the door so they were secure. Then he began unwinding the bandage. "I've wanted to take this off for hours."

She tried not to stare as the familiar features emerged from behind the dusty gauze. Gentle, doddering grandfather disappeared, replaced by a man in the prime of his strength. When he removed the wig and ran his fingers through his hair to loosen it, she wrenched her gaze away before she could make a complete fool of herself. "A good thing no one can see in, Grandfather. Just remember that while the rooms on both sides of us are empty, sounds will carry far in the night."

He lit the small oil lamp in the center of the low table as she transferred the dishes from the tray to the table. It was humble fare, rice and a mixture of chopped vegetables flavored with ginger, along with a teapot and utensils. This was the real China, just what he'd wanted. She sat cross-legged by the table, searching for a neutral topic. "In the north, where winters are cold, the beds are built of brick so that small fires can be built underneath for warmth."

He folded himself down on the side of the table opposite her. "This could be useful in England. We have hot-water bottles for the feet, but they cool quickly."

"My father used to talk wistfully of the cool mists of Scotland. He never mentioned hot-water bottles." Glad that no strain lingered from what had happened earlier, she poured tea for them both and prepared to enjoy the simple food and Maxwell's company.

Awkwardness returned at bedtime. Suppressing a yawn, Maxwell said, "I'm ready to retire. Good night." Then he sat on the pallet and pulled off his shabby shoes.

"I'll sleep on the floor."

He set the shoes neatly by the wall. "No."

"The bed is more comfortable," she protested. "You should have it whether you are grandfather or lord."

"Outside this room, we are in China and I will do as you say. But when we are in private, you are a lady and I am a gentleman," he said firmly. "And a gentleman always gives the best place to the lady."

In Macao she'd seen how Europeans were elaborately protective of their womenfolk, as if the females were made of gla.s.s, but such behavior was so alien to Chinese custom that even the idea discomforted her. "I will not be able to sleep if you are not comfortable."

He rose and gave a graceful bow. "Alas, my lady, my conscience shall torment me horribly if I sleep on the bed. You must agree to my wishes if you don't wish to be cruel." He offered her his arm. "Let me escort you to your place of rest."

His courtly manner brought a smile to her face. Feeling like the lady he called her, she placed a light hand on his arm. "I yield to your gilded tongue, my lord, but I fear that I shan't sleep a wink."

He gazed down at her, humor bright in his eyes. "I'm tired enough to sleep on sharp stones, so you might as well get a good rest, too." He escorted her the half dozen steps to the bed, then left her with another bow.

"Shall I put the lamp out?"

"Please."

He pinched out the flame. In the near-total darkness she heard him strip off the outer layer of his clothing before he lay down on the pallet. She removed her own outer garments, then stretched her tired body on the lumpy mattress that covered the bed.

Though she ached with tiredness, she couldn't relax, and not only because of her discomfort at having superior accommodations. She lay staring upward, acutely aware that he was only a few feet away. Memories of his embrace were painfully vivid.

Why had she foolishly pulled away? Partly it had been her sense that it was too soon, but also, she realized, there had been some fear-of the act itself, of the unknown, of Maxwell, who fascinated her but was in many ways a powerful, enigmatic stranger.

Now, too late, she cursed herself for her misgivings, for he had hungered for her as much as she had wanted him. If she'd been a little braver, she might be lying in his arms now. The knowledge made her ache with emptiness. Such a moment might not come again, for he was no randy lecher who'd bed anyone, and she was hardly woman enough to lead a disciplined man astray.

As the minutes stretched interminably, she wondered if she should make an advance tonight, while memory of their kiss still lingered. Though she would risk humiliating rejection, that would be better than knowing that she had not even tried.

She was tired, so tired, of waiting and wanting.

Not having quite enough courage to act boldly, she decided to leave it to fate. His breathing was slow and steady. If he was asleep, she would try to sleep herself. But if he was awake... She murmured, "My lord?"

"Yes?"

The sound of his deep voice sent a jolt of determination through her. She slipped from the bed and stretched out beside him on the pallet. Laying a tentative hand on his chest, she said haltingly, "You desired me earlier. I... I am here now."

He muttered an oath. "I deserve to be whipped for my behavior." His arm came around her with gentleness, not pa.s.sion. "Your... generous offer is very tempting, but I can't accept. Though here women may live to serve men, English gentlemen are not supposed to take advantage of young females. You will have a new life and new opportunities in Britain. To lie with me now might damage your future."

She buried her face against his shoulder, dizzy with the pleasure of being so close. She loved his scent, so male and provocative, and the size and strength of his hard body. "There are no guarantees of what I will find in the land of my fathers. I am not a desirable young girl, my lord, and no man has ever shown interest in me. You did, at least a little." Her mouth twisted. "Or was that only because you were still feeling the heat of the harlot's touch?"

His other arm came around her, but it was still not a lover's embrace- even with no experience she could tell the difference. "I find you very desirable, and I swear that many men in Britain will feel the same. You need not give yourself to me because you fear there will never be another man for you. Believe me, your greatest difficulty will be in choosing the mate you want most."

How politely a gentleman lied. Trying to keep the tears from her voice, she whispered, "Don't British men have concubines? I would gladly be yours, if you would want me now and then."

His hand stroked down her arm, the warm palm sending tingles through her. "It's true that some men have mistresses, Troth, but infidelity is a sin. If I had a wife, I would never dishonor her so."

He'd never called her by her real name before, and hearing it quickened her pulse even as her spirits sank. "You reject me so kindly, my lord. But if I cannot be your wife or your concubine, will you not allow me to be your lover, at least for these next two weeks? I would ask nothing more of you."

"But you should ask more!" he said roughly. "You should demand to be a wife, not a mistress. To be cherished, not used."

"Even shameless, I cannot attract you." Tears stinging, she started to rise.

His arm tightened, holding her close. "You attract me greatly, but to act on that would be wrong when I cannot give you what you deserve."

Her mouth twisted. "I wish you didn't respect me so much. You may say I should settle for nothing less than being a wife, but you and I both know that a lord would never wed a penniless half-blood, and you will allow nothing else."

He sighed. "This has nothing to do with wealth or bloodlines. Any flaws are not in you, but in me."

She felt tension in his body, and it was not from desire. "What do you mean?"

After a long silence, he said painfully, "I've never told anyone this, but I was married once, very briefly. When Constancia died... my heart died with her. I am not fit to be husband to any woman who might love me."

The knowledge was startling, and made sense of his behavior. "I'm so sorry, my lord."

His fingers brushed her brow, pushing back tendrils of hair. "Call me Kyle, my Christian name."

Kyle. She appreciated the honor of his private name, though it was far less than she yearned for. "Did you marry in secret because your family was against the match?"

"My father would have been horrified if he had known. My brother and sister-perhaps they would have understood, because they both know what it is to love. But what I felt about Constancia was too... too personal to speak of."

She touched his chin, feeling bristles. He must shave in the morning, or he'd have a very un-Chinese beard. "If you speak of your beloved, it might ease the pain."

"Perhaps... you are right." Another silence. "Constancia was my mistress for many years. She was from Spain, whose people are very like the Portuguese you knew in Macao, dark haired and dark eyed and beautiful. She was a courtesan and many years older than I. That makes it sound as if what I felt for her was no more than a boy's infatuation with his first woman, but she was the warmest, most loving person I have ever known. When I was with her... I felt peace such as I have found nowhere else." His voice became almost inaudible. "Peace, and pa.s.sion."

Having known the love of such a paragon, no wonder he had no interest in lesser females. "At least you had the courage to marry her even though it would be thought a dreadful mistake by your family."

"Making her my wife was the wisest thing I ever did. I only wish I'd done it sooner. It does me no credit that the thought occurred to me only as she lay dying."

Wanting to warm the bleakness in his voice, she said, "Late, but not too late. You were fortunate to have found each other, my lord."

He kissed her forehead lightly. "Kyle."

"Kyle," she repeated obediently.

She was prepared to be sent back to the bed, but he turned a little, resting his cheek against her hair. Intensely glad that he allowed her to stay, she settled against him, and soon slept.

Chapter 17.

England Christmas 1832 The Renbourne family was gathering for Christmas. Troth had worried about meeting Kyle's sister, but Lady Lucia turned out to be as engaging as Dominic. She also had the height, blue eyes, and waving dark brown hair of her brothers. Her husband, Robert Justice, was a quiet man with warm eyes that regarded Troth with some curiosity but more kindness.

The two Justice children were close in age to Dominic and Meriel's pair. "Dom and I married within weeks of each other," Lucia explained when the children noisily greeted each other. "Good planning, don't you agree?"

"Indeed." Troth watched the four cousins race off in a pack, marveling at the fact that she now had four children calling her aunt.

The midday arrival of the Justices was followed by a lively luncheon. Afterward Troth withdrew to the library. Not only did she crave quiet, but this would allow the Renbournes and Justices the privacy to discuss their brother's eccentric choice of a bride.

She loved the library, which had a collection of books that would have impressed even Chenqua. She chose a volume of poetry at random and settled down to read in one of the wing chairs that flanked the fireplace. It was a bl.u.s.tery afternoon and wind rattled the windows, but here she was safe and warm.

The book proved to contain the works of seventeenth-century British poets. Had we but world enough, and time, This coyness, lady, were no crime. She smiled wryly as she read the lines. She'd been the one acting the part of the importunate lover, though Kyle had hardly been a shy maid. Instead, he'd been a man of honor.

The grave's a fine and private place, But none, I think, do there embrace. She closed the book, her eyes stinging. She would never regret her shameless behavior. The greatest comfort she had found had been Dominic's quiet statement that Kyle had died doing what he most desired, and few men were so lucky. She wanted to believe it, though she couldn't help but think that living as one most desired was far better.

The library door swung open and an elderly man stumped in with a cane. If she hadn't known that the Earl of Wrexham was coming to spend Christmas with his family, she would not have recognized him as Kyle's father, for there was little resemblance. But he had the unmistakable arrogance of a n.o.bleman, a fierce will in a frail body.

She rose and dropped into a curtsy, her heartbeat accelerating. "Lord Wrexham."

He halted a dozen feet away, squinting to see her more clearly. His gaze lingered on her slim waistline. Was he relieved or disappointed to see that she was not carrying a child? A mixed-blood child. "So you're my so-called daughter-in-law. What part of Scotland did your father come from?"

"Melrose, south of Edinburgh."

"My wife was a Highlander. The blood runs strong in my children." He gave a harsh bark of laughter. "No bad thing, for she was far handsomer than I."

He lowered himself awkwardly into the chair on the opposite side of the fireplace. "d.a.m.ned gout," he muttered. "Tell me about my son's time in China."

She did, emphasizing the pleasure Kyle had found in exploring a world so different from his own, and the bravery with which he had died. The earl stared broodingly at the embers of the fire, his expression like granite.

After she finished her account, he said harshly, "I would never have permitted such a marriage, but... it's no matter now. If you gave him some happiness, I suppose I must be glad for that." He rose painfully. "You'll be well taken care of in the future." He hesitated before adding in a gruff voice, "I... I'm grateful to you for coming all this way to tell us about my boy's last days."

He left the library, leaning heavily on his cane. Troth rested her head against the chair back and closed her eyes, shaking. The worst was over now. She wasn't surprised to learn that the earl would have opposed his heir's marriage bitterly, but of course, if disaster hadn't befallen their expedition there would have been no marriage to oppose.

As Wrexham had said, it was no matter now. She did not carry an heir to Wrexham, so the family honors would pa.s.s safely to Dominic and his son. The old man could afford to tolerate her unexpected self.

It was less than she'd hoped for, but perhaps more than she deserved.