"You're offering me a pension? What about the doctor's exam?"

He waved a hand in dismissal. "I'll take care of all that. You can decide to take your chances on that shoulder, but I warn you O'Hern, if you're coming back, I wouldn't count on a promotion either. Because I'd be forced to report your-er-disability."

Kate knew all too well the implications of her particular-well, gift. She had never intended to return to the force or carry a gun again. At least he was offering her a choice even though the decision was obvious.

"I guess you're right about how tricky shoulder injuries can be," she said, almost choking on the words. She'd prepared herself to give up the job, but it still hurt.

He stood, straightening his uniform jacket, not meeting her eyes. "Very good, then. I'll attend to the paperwork immediately. Good day, Ms. O'Hern."

Kate sat there in silence after he left. So this is what it all came down to. No gold shield, no dramatic career to look back on, all of the sudden she was a civilian, on the outside. God, she was going to miss it.

"Feeling sorry for yourself?" Anne's voice cut into her reverie.

"Yeah, go away. On second thought, I'll go." She pushed back from the table and stood. "I think I need a drink, or two."

"Turner give you your walking papers?"

"More or less. He's arranging for a disability pension, which should be enough to live on, I guess."

"What are you going to do?"

"I told you, I'm going to go get drunk. The case is over, there's no need for further analysis, doctor." Kate started to walk past her, but Anne blocked her way.

"Kate, I know you're angry, but don't take it out on your friends."

Kate turned away, tears suddenly filling her eyes. Dammit, pull yourself together. God, she was so tired, she just wanted to crawl into a hole and sleep, ignore the world and everyone in it. Everyone except Josh.

"How'd you like to work for me?" Anne said.

Kate looked up. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. It would mean going back to school, a whole new field. Think you're up to the challenge?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Not every crime-fighter carries a gun, Kate. You could do consultations like I do. Learn how to profile, get in a killer's mind, help the local cops know who they're dealing with and how to catch him."

"Don't I have to be a psychologist like you?"

"A lot of us started out as cops. You'd take courses in psychology as well as some of the forensic sciences. And you'd get a chance to see what this new gift of yours could really do, once you have it under control."

A chance to keep doing the job she was born to do. What would Josh say? Then she smiled, glanced out the window. It was a new day-and both she and Josh were still alive. But were her future and his bound together? Her stomach did a flip-flop and she wasn't sure if it was nerves or hunger. "Can I give you an answer later?"

"Of course." Anne handed Kate her jacket. "Need a ride home?"

Home? Where was that? Her apartment? Josh's house? It was now a crime scene, cursed forever with dark, bloody memories. Would he forgive her? Because of her, he'd lost his home, maybe his career, almost his life.

Kate looked down at herself, she hadn't had a bath in over a day, she was still wearing the blood and water stained sweatpants and shirt.

"No, I don't think so," she said. "I'm going to clean out my locker so I won't have to come back."

"Chicken," Anne said. "Remember what I said about not trying to control everything. Some things have to happen at their own time."

Kate couldn't argue. All night she'd been anxious to get to Josh's side, to talk to him about everything she felt, and now she was nervous, stalling. What words could she say to make up for everything he had suffered because of her?

Anne gave her a knowing smile as they walked down the hallway. Uniformed officers streamed past them, heading into roll call. "Take care, Kate. Let me know what you decide."

Kate watched day shift gather in the cavernous room. How many hundreds of times had she reported here to have her day mapped out for her? Now she was on her own, no direction.

Other than toward Josh. Kate shook her head and rushed down the hall and out the door. To hell with her locker and dry clothes and a shower. She knew what she wanted and where she was going. She only hoped that he would forgive her; give her a second chance.

Josh watched the sunrise from the comfort of his car parked outside the precinct house. The police hadn't kept him very long, so he had the luxury of a long shower at the hotel, followed by a stop at Krispy Kreme to reward Kate's fellow officers, and finally had picked up Hershey at six o'clock when the veterinarian opened.

Hershey barked, tail thumping against the leather of the back seat where he stretched out, his head leaning against the arm rest, nose pressed against the window. Josh followed the dog's gaze to the station house door. Kate came through it, still wearing the same filthy clothing he had last seen her in. Her curls were matted to her head, her face was pale, but her eyes glowed with a radiance that competed with the brilliant sunrise behind her.

He covered the distance between them in record time and took her into his arms. He had so much he wanted to say, but once she was there in his arms, he forgot everything.

"Are you all right?" she asked, breaking away and scrutinizing him. Then she looked past him to the car and Hershey. "Both of you?"

"Nothing a little R and R won't heal," Josh assured her. "Let's get you home and cleaned up, then we'll talk."

Instead of the rebellion he'd come to expect whenever he tried to take care of her, the look she gave him was filled with uncertainty. She was more exhausted than he'd thought.

Had Blake done something to hurt her before Josh got there? The thought raced through him, made his heart skitter. He almost asked, but one look at her bruised expression made him keep silent. There would be plenty of time for talking later-an entire lifetime for them both, if he had his way.

Kate collapsed into his arms, her body trembling as he held her. His arms around her were everything she had ever hoped for-more than she deserved considering what she had put him through.

"Can we stay like this forever?" she whispered when she finally found the strength to speak.

He chuckled. "I don't think I can leave Hershey in the car that long. Besides, we're leaving for Ohio."

Kate's heart misfired. How could she be so stupid? She was trying to find the courage to ask him to forgive her, to give her a second chance, and he was trying to say good-bye!

She pushed away from him, pulled her shirt around her as if the thin cotton could block the icy fingers squeezing her heart, stealing her breath.

Josh watched in dismay as she moved away from him. Light years away, it felt. Damn, he should have made his invitation to go to Ohio sound more like an offer, less a command. But taking her away from this dreary city with its bloody memories was the only thing he'd been thinking about all night.

"This isn't easy for me-" she started, then frowned and stopped as if considering her words. A chill raced through him, had he misunderstood, assumed too much in thinking that she'd join him?

"I need to ask you, tell you," she faltered again. He stood, took a step closer to her, trying to bridge the distance between them.

What was so difficult for her to say? The most confident, strong woman Josh had ever met, a woman who could face a killer unarmed and come out on top, but who could not meet his gaze?

"I love you." The three words came from her with a defiant edge. She raised her face, stared at him head on, daring him to respond.

Josh couldn't help the laugh that burst from his lips. He'd been so worried that she had been about to say something else. She glared at him, her good hand fisted on her hip.

"What's so funny?" Her voice lowered. "I'm sorry I left you at the hospital, sorry I didn't tell you what I was doing. Can't you give me a second chance?"

"I want to give you more than that," he told her, his lips caressing her cheek, his hands resting on her hips, pulling her back to him, where she belonged. "I want to give you the rest of my life."

He felt her draw her breath in, watched as she closed her eyes for a long moment. When they opened again, it was with a smile that filled her entire being.

"Really?" Her voice was filled with awe and wonder.

He kissed the freckles on her nose. "Really."

She nodded at that, then her smile widened into a devilish grin. "I've always liked your bedside manner, doctor," she said in a husky whisper as her hand slid beneath his shirt. "Guess it wouldn't be so bad having you around on a permanent basis."

EPILOGUE.

The hum of the wheels against the blacktop quickly lulled Kate to sleep. She woke as the car slowed, opened her eyes in time to see an Amish man in a horse and buggy nod to Josh as Josh carefully passed him. Josh shifted gears, then his hand returned to her leg and Kate realized it wasn't the car's change of speed that had awakened her.

It was missing his touch, his warmth.

Hershey's snores filled the car, mingled with the classic rock on the radio. The landscape was a rich medley of golds, reds and greens, all spread out across rolling hills, forests and farmland.

"Where are we?"

Josh glanced at her, flashed her a quick smile. "Almost home."

The road curved through a small town with one red light. Kate noticed two buggies hitched at a community hitching post and several people dressed in Amish clothing mingling with the other townspeople. Then Josh turned onto a rural route that led through a dark forest for several miles before emerging into more farmland. He pulled the car onto a dirt lane and they drove over one last hill.

Kate caught her breath. "This can't be it."

Josh stopped the car. "Why? What's wrong?"

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Kate climbed from the car and stared at the house before her. A white farmhouse, red tin roof, red shutters, red front door. Gingerbread adorned the porch, wide, welcoming stone steps led the way up.

The house of her visions-of her dreams.

Josh's arms circled around her from behind, snugged her close. "Welcome home, Kate."

She turned within his embrace, raised her face to his and kissed him deeply, ignoring the tears that streamed freely down her cheeks. Home.

It wasn't the house, the safe haven of her dreams, that inspired the joy she felt. It was the man who was with her, the man who would always be at her side, who would always believe in her. Josh was her home.

She never wanted to leave the warm comfort of his presence. After all, she'd died once to get here.

Till death do us part, she vowed. Again.

About CJ Lyons:.

As a pediatric ER doctor, CJ Lyons has lived the life she writes about in her cutting edge suspense novels. She has assisted police and prosecutors with cases involving child abuse, rape, homicide and Munchausen by Proxy and has worked in numerous trauma centers, as a crisis counselor, victim advocate, as well as a flight physician for Life Flight. CJ credits her patients and their families for teaching her the art of medicine and giving her the courage to pursue her dream of becoming a novelist.

Her first novel, LIFELINES (Berkley, March 2008), received praise as a "breathtakingly fast-paced medical thriller" from Publishers Weekly, was reviewed favorably by the Baltimore Sun and Newsday, named a Top Pick by Romantic Times Book Review Magazine, and became a National Bestseller. LIFELINES also won a Readers' Choice Award for Best First Novel.

Her second novel, WARNING SIGNS, was published by Berkley in January, 2009, with the third, URGENT CARE, in November, 2009. To learn more about CJ and her work, go to www.cjlyons.net.

Books by CJ Lyons.

Angels of Mercy Series:.

LIFELINES.

WARNING SIGNS.

URGENT CARE.

ISOLATION, coming soon!.

BORROWED TIME.

NERVES OF STEEL.

BLIND FAITH.

Shadow Ops Series:.

CHASING SHADOWS.

LOST IN SHADOWS.