"I know it's a bad time to go," he said into her shoulder.
"We'll manage." She sat back on her heels. "Go do what you have to do."
"A few days, that's all. I'll be back."
"Just do what you have to do. We'll be here waiting for you."
Choked up, he nodded and went to the door. "Thanks," he said to the wood. "You're great to work for, and a friend, too. And not a bad kisser."
She laughed and watched him go before letting the worry take over. He didn't remember much from last night, and now she couldn't help but wonder if with him gone, the odd little mysteries would end.
A few minutes later, Tucker came in, followed by Michael who'd come for a morning ride, which he often liked to do. She smiled at them wearily, not quite recovered from Stone's news. "No more guests we have to baby-sit," she told Tucker.
"Deal," he said, watching her carefully. "Now tell me what's wrong."
"Stone's gone for a little while."
Tucker let out a breath. "To get help?"
"Tucker-"
"You can't say." He nodded. "I know."
Michael handed her a cup of coffee and looked over her shoulder as she read over the forms for the incoming group, a bunch of novelists looking for a retreat and a chance to do some fun research.
"At least everyone's ridden before." Tucker joined in on flipping through the forms. "That's good."
"And they're not young, idiot, keg-dwellers," Michael noted. "Tucker filled me in on yesterday's events."
And he'd rushed right out here. Thankfully after Jake had left her cabin. She didn't intend to hide anything from anyone, but nor did she want to flaunt a relationship she didn't fully understand herself.
"We have two days before they get here." She drew a deep breath. Stone would be okay, she assured himself. He would.
And so would she. She stood up, rolling her shoulders, stretching a little. She was stiff as a board, and would have liked to attribute that to riding through the storm after Smithy, but she knew the truth. It was from making love all night long with Jake.
"Sore?" Tucker asked, and her gaze flew to his.
He wasn't looking at her, but down at the paperwork in his hands, so she had no idea what was going through his head. "No," she said slowly. "I'm fine."
His eyes met hers then, without judgment or cynism. "Stay that way," he said simply.
"I plan to."
Michael's face was volleying back and forth between them. "What's going on?"
"Besides the usual shit around here? Nothing." But Tucker didn't take his gaze off Callie's.
"Well, the usual shit is enough to give me gray hair," Michael said.
She patted his arm, surprised to find him so tense. Tense for her. The knowledge gentled her voice but she still had to say it. "I'm not going to ever be happy behind a bank desk, Michael. You'd be forced to fire me within a week."
Tucker laughed. "A day."
"Hey," she said, but had to laugh, too.
Michael ignored their amusement. "I know you'd be so much happier if you'd just-"
"No." She slipped her arm around him. "You'd be happier. I'm good here. At least for now. You're going to have to face that."
"Yeah." But he didn't look like that would be anytime soon.
"Jake's meeting his real estate agent out here today," Tucker said.
Callie looked at him in surprise. "So you and Jake are talking to each other?"
Tucker shrugged. "If you can't beat 'em..."
"But he is selling," Michael reminded them both. "Focus on that."
"I wouldn't have to if you'd finagle a loan for me," Callie said.
"Cal..." Michael looked tortured. "I can't do it unless you qualify on your own."
"I know. It was only wishful thinking. Don't worry, I'd never ask you to do anything to jeopardize you or Matt."
"He's my business partner and my best friend. I can't just-"
"I thought I was your best friend," she said, trying to lighten the mood, but given the look on his face she hadn't succeeded. She smiled and pretended everything was okay. "Don't worry. Maybe Jake'll change his mind."
He stared at her. "Say his name again."
"What? Why?"
"You sighed when you said it, a dreamy kind of sigh."
She felt her face flush. "I did not."
"Oh my God." His mouth fell open as the shock spread across his face. "I thought you were just playing around, flirting with the guy for something new and exciting, but he's the one. The one who makes you tingle."
"Michael-" She let out a laugh that didn't sound so convincing. "Stop it."
"You're passing me over for him, a guy who'll tear your heart out and stomp on your world. Are you already sleeping with him?"
Tucker looked pained. "Jesus, why don't you just get right to the point?"
"Are you?"
"Last I checked, that was my business," she said, but then rushed to snag his hand when he would have stormed out. "Michael, please, don't be angry."
"Angry?" He looked down at their conjoined hands. A spasm of hurt crossed his face. "That's not quite it." He shook his head then managed a smile though it didn't reach his eyes. "I've got to get to work."
"Michael-"
"I'm okay, Cal. And you will be, too." But he didn't look at her when he left.
She tried to maintain her composure but it slipped. "Damn."
"He already knew you weren't ever going to be his. He just needs to deal with it," Tucker told her gently.
"Yeah."
"I guess he thought that with Jake selling, he still had a shot."
She sagged to her chair. Somehow, somewhere, she'd lost her anger about Jake selling, but a sorrow filled her, so much so that for a moment she couldn't breathe. "How did this all get so out of control?"
He looked out the window, to where Amy was fussing with the vegetable garden, and shook his head.
"He can't afford the ranch, Tucker," she said quietly.
"I know that. Or we wouldn't be in this position."
"You know what I think?"
"No, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me."
"I think you're starting to like him."
"Yeah? Well, why don't you look in the mirror, boss, because I've got the feeling you are, too."
Callie stood there long after he'd left, trying that on for size. She and Jake...no doubt when they were together, they simultaneously combusted, both in bed and out of it. But could they really be more? He belonged hundreds of miles away, in a world so different from hers that she couldn't imagine them meshing, couldn't imagine him wanting them to.
Damn it. Why did it have to be so difficult? She didn't want to yearn and ache like this, but even more than that, she didn't want to yearn and ache like this for him. But not wanting it to be so changed nothing.
Fact was fact, and Tucker was right. She liked Jake. She liked him a hell of a lot.
19.
Tucker was in the horse corral working with Moe when Amy drove up in Callie's Jeep and began unloading groceries. Tucker hopped the fence to help her.
"I can handle it," she informed him in that lofty voice he was sure she thought scared people off, when in fact, it made him a little hot.
He scooped up four of the bags. "Sure you can, but why should you when I can help?"
"I'm fine."
He smiled at her. "Yeah, you're extremely fine."
She had four bags in her arms, too, and she just stared at him. "Why do you say such things?"
"Because they're true."
"So you always speak the truth?"
"Always," he said.
She started walking toward the house. He followed her. In the kitchen they set down the bags, and she turned to him. "I'm not like the girls you hang out with at the bars in Three Rocks."
"Those girls are just friends."
She shot him a disgusted look, and he laughed. "They are." He moved close to help her empty out the bags. "We all hang out together, Eddie and Stone, too, and none of us really hook up, if that's what you're thinking." Since he had no idea where to put the things he pulled out of the bag-fresh fruits and vegetables, meats-he just began stacking them all on the counters. "Wish you'd come with us sometime."
"I wouldn't fit in."
"How do you know?"
"I know." She turned away. "I've got stuff to do."
"Come with me tonight."
"I don't date."
"Then we'll go out as friends, with the others."
Her hands stilled. With a can of tomato sauce in each palm, she looked at him. "Not a date?"
"Just fun. A bunch of us. No pressure, no anything. You'll eat, talk, smile...hell, you might even forget yourself and laugh."
"I don't know."
"Think about it."
"Maybe. You have to go now."
"Why?"
"Because I can't think when you're in here."
He grinned. "You know, I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." Whistling, he strolled out of the kitchen, and spent the rest of the afternoon chopping wood, making sure to stay in view of Amy's kitchen window as he did.
Amy shocked herself that night by going with Tucker into town. They sat in the Last Stop Bar and Grill with a bunch of his friends, laughing and talking and-she had to admit-having a decent time. She'd worn the least faded of her three pairs of jeans, and a new T-shirt she'd gotten with her last paycheck. The music rocked, the food was good, and she actually found herself smiling for no reason at all.