"What? You expect me to be waiting around for some guy to come along and save me? And then we fall in love and get married and have children? Can you see me with children, Ike? The poor brats will end up in a crazy home. No, none of that's for me. My parents want it. I don't."

"I don't believe that."

"Don't tell me you want that?" She laughed. "You?"

"Yeah, I do, all right," he replied, wounded.

"Then what the f.u.c.k are you doing out here? You're not going to find your pretty wife in some b.l.o.o.d.y jungle."

"I know that," he agreed. Ike lifted the a.s.sault rifle so it rested across his chest. Its weight gave him comfort. "Trust me, I know. I'm just not done with Africa yet.

"You sure you don't have to p.i.s.s?"

"I'm positive."

"You've been drinking a lot of water, Nessa."

"I know. It's hypovolaemic shock. You don't have to spell it out for me."

"You can come back from the blood loss, you know."

Nessa tried to roll onto her side, but she couldn't quite make it in such an awkward position. Her teeth gritted and her eyes squeezed shut in pain. "My leg hurts so f.u.c.king bad. I think you should check under the bandages."

"I checked them an hour ago."

"Just do it, please. I'm in pain here."

"All right, luv."

Ike bent forward and slowly unwrapped the bandages. Layer after layer of b.l.o.o.d.y gauze came off until he reached the bare flesh of the thigh. The last layer stuck and he winced as he tore it off. Half-dried blood crusted over everything, obstructing much of his view, but he could not miss the discoloration. Neither could Nessa as she sat up to look.

The moment she saw her thigh, she lay back down and slammed her fists against the ground. "s.h.i.t."

"Try to relax."

"Stop telling me to f.u.c.king relax. The tissue is necrotizing. I've already lost the leg. I'm going to f.u.c.king die. And it's going to hurt like h.e.l.l."

As far as he knew, her leg was untreatable. The cells were self-destructing and without an immediate amputation the dead tissue would only spread.

Nessa used her good leg to kick Ike's bedroll out from underneath her wounded thigh. The movement yanked another cry of pain from her lips. "I don't need this b.l.o.o.d.y thing anymore. Between shock and necrosis, I'd rather die of shock."

Ike barely heard her protests. He was still digesting what he saw on her leg. He imagined racing from their camp and finding a hospital in the jungle. Could she even survive an amputation when she was down so much blood already? Maybe with an infusion.

He tried to shake the thoughts away.

Nessa Singer would never leave the Ituri Forest. Ike had barely gotten to know her and now they only had hours left. It was such a change from the day before, when he felt content to take his time and wonder where things would lead.

"Let me check the leg again," he said.

"Stay the h.e.l.l away from it, Ike," Nessa growled. "Just keep away. It f.u.c.king hurts."

"Maybe-"

"No."

"We need to see-"

"What I need is some b.l.o.o.d.y morphine!"

Ike closed his eyes. Not a good idea to come apart in front of her. He took a deep breath and tried pushing the situation away. "I'll see if Devereaux has some palm wine."

"Thank you."

Ike didn't wake Raoul. Instead he pilfered the man's pack and returned to the tent with his canister full. When he slipped back in through the flap, Nessa was on her side, staring toward the back of the tent. Tears streaked her cheeks, but she didn't make a sound.

Ike slid up behind her. "I've got some for you."

Nessa rolled onto her back. She didn't bother to wipe her eyes. When he handed her the canister, she took it gladly and tipped it back.

"Easy, luv."

She gulped the wine down without hesitation. When she pulled the canister from her lips she said, "What are you worried about, a hangover?"

Ike smiled weakly.

"b.l.o.o.d.y, f.u.c.king crocodile," she cried. "What the f.u.c.k is with that anyway? What the h.e.l.l was it doing there? Talk about rotten f.u.c.king luck."

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to him. She tucked her head against his neck, and he felt her cool sweat on the crook of his shoulder. He figured that with the amount of blood loss that little bit of palm wine might have quite the effect. In the absence of painkillers there was nothing better.

"Such awful luck, I hate this G.o.dd.a.m.ned place."

"I can agree with you there."

"And that palm wine is the most watered down bottle of p.i.s.s I ever drank. That b.l.o.o.d.y Devereaux's a f.u.c.king lightweight."

"You have quite a mouth on you, don't you?"

Nessa fell silent, and he felt cold tears against his neck. He suddenly worried he'd said something wrong. "It's okay. I like a woman who can curse."

He felt her cheek bunch into a small grin.

"Now, enough tears. You're gonna dehydrate."

Nessa laughed. "You're a real sweetheart, aren't you? Worried I'm going to dehydrate?"

"Just looking out for you, don't get on my case."

"Hangovers, dehydration, forget about that funny smell coming from my leg."

An awkward silence followed. Ike wished he could make her forget her condition for a moment, but she knew all too well that her life was slipping away. She curled against him, as some wave of emotion came over her. For lack of words, he brushed a hand along the hairs pulled tight by her ponytail and kissed her forehead, quietly, softly.

"I hate this thing," she said suddenly. She squeezed the ring between her fingers and pulled it off, holding it in her palm. "Who am I kidding?"

"I thought you didn't care."

"What's worth worrying about?" Nessa cried. "If I wanted to, it sure as h.e.l.l isn't going to happen now, is it? I wasted too much time. I had all of this time and I wasted it, because I wanted to have a good job. I don't even like chemistry. I hate pharmaceutical companies. Do you think we're out here to save lives? All H. Hurley cares is how much that little flower can add to their net worth. If I was out here to help people, then maybe I wouldn't feel like s.h.i.t."

"Just because you're making money doesn't mean you're not helping people."

"Seriously, Ike, find someone. Don't waste your time like I did. f.u.c.k Africa. Go home to Sydney or Perth, or whatever backwoods Aussie s.h.i.thole you came from."

Ike sighed. "Brisbane. I'm from Brisbane."

"Is it nice there?"

"It's a beautiful city," he said. He swallowed past the thick lump in his throat. "And besides, you're wrong. I found somebody out here."

Nessa let out a long breath. "Stop it, Ike. Just shut up."

"I'm completely serious."

"You were just h.o.r.n.y."

"Not just h.o.r.n.y," Ike said with a grin. "You didn't give me a chance with much else."

"Don't lie to me because you feel bad for me," she cried. "That's only going to make me feel worse. I don't need you to pretend things to make me feel better."

"I'm not pretending anything."

"You're saying if this was Brisbane, you would have fancied me?" Nessa asked incredulously. "With all those other girls running around?"

"I would've needed earplugs," Ike replied. "But, yeah, I think so. I think we could have made quite a couple."

"That's sweet, Ike. That really is. But it's total bulls.h.i.t."

"Well, I'm not wealthy, I'm not successful, and last I checked I'm sure as h.e.l.l not Jewish. But I would've given it a shot. And who the h.e.l.l knows?"

"You think you might have proposed?"

"Sure as h.e.l.l, yeah. Once you warmed up to me of course. h.e.l.l, I'd even convert. I'd get the operation and everything."

Nessa laughed into his chest. It felt good to feel her curled there, living, breathing. Ike wondered how much time was left. He wanted to squeeze her, but he had to be gentle. She was, after all, in considerable pain.

"Ike. Listen to me. I want you to have this."

Nessa pressed the diamond ring into his palm. She looked very pale and had stopped sweating. No more tears came out. Ike watched her helplessly, fading in and out of sleep himself, his exhaustion too great.

"What's this about?"

"I don't need it anymore. It's worth quite a bit, so I'm giving it to you."

"Are you proposing to me, Nessa?"

She grinned weakly. "If it'll make you take the b.l.o.o.d.y thing, then yes, I'm proposing to you."

Ike closed his palm. "Well then, I accept."

She let go and her fingers slipped away to fall back at her side. Her breathing came slow, barely perceptible, even with him pressed against her. She felt like a feather, ready to blow away at any moment.

"I just never pictured it happening quite like this," he said quietly.

She muttered something indecipherable, and Ike couldn't be sure whether she had understood his words.

As the sun shifted in the sky, light blazed in through the open flap. He had left it open to keep watch, but the sunlight burned his tired eyes badly. He tugged the tent flap closed.

Only for a moment, so he could rest his eyes.

Temba Ampigana Mchawi.

(Temba versus the Magi).

"If darkness exists,

and darkness is of the forest,

then even darkness must be good."

-BaMbuti proverb.

25.

In his dream, Kuntolo's spear plunged softly into her heart. The fingers gripping the shaft were his. Sam had been calling out to him in KiSwahili, a language Temba had never heard her speak. Yet they were his hands that dealt the killing blow to her breast.