"I am," she argued, any further protest silenced by her emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.

I held back her hair and rubbed her back, my heart bleeding for my friend, my heart bleeding with the powerful flashback that hit me of doing the exact same thing with Mom. Only with Bex, her body was having trouble with the poison leaving her body, with Mom they were fighting her body with poison. Unlike Mom, Bex was going to win this battle. I had to believe that.

She wiped her mouth with toilet paper, her defeated gaze turning to me.

"I can't do this, Lil," she croaked.

"You can," I told her firmly, helping her off the floor.

We walked slowly to the living room, Bex relying heavily on me, her body weak. Days of withdrawals had turned her into a shadow of herself, I would have barely recognized her if it wasn't for the purple tips peeking out of her shaggy bun.

Once I'd settled her back on the sofa and watched her curl into the blanket with a grimace, I walked into the kitchen, where I could still see her.

I was at a loss. I had to work tonight. Had to. My funds were running seriously dry, funds that both Bex and I needed now she wasn't working. I knew there would be no way I could have afforded a new phone to replace my smashed one. Then one had been sitting inside the door of the apartment when I got up. Someone had broken in. Someone who knew the code of the new security system we had.

Use it. Were the words that were scrawled on the box.

I had to ignore the pang that came with thinking of him. Of the fact, he was going to do everything he could to take care of me, even with the way I treated him the other night. I couldn't focus on that. I had someone else to take care of.

There was no way I could leave Bex alone. After snatching a couple of hours of restless sleep after Asher had left two days ago, I consulted a nursing friend who now specialized in treating people with addictions. Her help was invaluable, as were her pointers in finding Bex's stash. I had flushed various bags of powder, hidden in spots in Bex's room, including lipstick tubes. I'd felt like I was violating her trust, but her survival was more important to me than her trust at that moment. Though my friend had been more than willing to help in any way she could, I knew having a stranger, no matter how nice, sit with her and witness this, would send Bex into a tailspin.

I was at a loss. Bex's friends from the club were uncertain, considering she had told me that was where she'd first been offered the bag presenting her with an escape.

Quite simply, I was fucked.

Later that afternoon, after finally realizing I'd have to forfeit another paycheck and figure the repercussions out later, my problems were solved by a small and slightly crazy woman.

"Rosie," I exclaimed in surprise when I opened the door.

She was clad in her normal glam. Every time I saw her, she was wearing something completely different than the last time I saw her. She was all in black. Black sleeveless turtleneck tucked into a short black leather mini and black heeled ankle boots. Her shoulder length curls were tumbling out of a messy bun. I was wearing one of Asher's tees and leggings with holes in them.

"Please tell me the beautiful couple I had placed all my money on isn't already dust?" she greeted, hands on her hips.

I let out a breath, glancing back to Bex asleep on the sofa. I stepped forward obscuring Rosie's view of our interior.

"We're not over," I said slowly. "We're just on a break," I explained.

Her eyes narrowed. "Ross and Rachel were on a break, look what happened to them," she snapped, the only person that could use a Friends reference in serious conversation. "Asher's gone from smiling like a fat cat with cake, to grimacing like a fat kid deprived of said cake," she continued. Her eyes softened as she glanced at me. "You don't look so good yourself, Lil. What's going on? Why haven't you called? I'm your friend. I want to help."

Her words, her kind eyes maybe just the fact I was functioning on little to no sleep and suffering from Asher withdrawals was the reason I stepped out of the door and into her arms, sobbing. The entire story of Bex's overdose, everything came tumbling out.

After I had finished, she'd pulled me out her arms to regard me with sad eyes.

"Fuck," she whispered. "Life hasn't stopped delivering you punches has it?" she mused in sympathy.

I laughed bitterly, rubbing my eyes. "I guess not," I said slowly.

"Well, I would ask why Asher isn't here, helping you with this, but I'm thinking it's the same reason why Gwen, Amy, and I aren't privy to this. You think you have to handle all this alone." She gave my shoulders a squeeze. "I'm not gonna tell you to call him, fill him in. That's your choice. I'm not going to offer to pitch in financially because I know you won't take a dime." She rose her brow slightly at how my frame flinched at this. "I am going to offer what I can. What you're going to accept. I'm going to stay here. Hang with Bex while you go to work," she decided.

I shook my head. "I can't ask you to do that."

She pursed her lips. "It's a good thing you're not asking then," she said.

I didn't have the energy to argue anymore. So I let myself take the help that she offered. The help she offered without judgment, without expecting anything in return.

I dragged myself into my car. I was tired. No, I don't think there was a word to explain what I was. My days were spent watching Bex like a hawk. Caring for her. Her entire body was crying out for a fix, and no matter what her mind wanted, the body was hard to say no to. So I watched. Didn't sleep. And when she was sleeping I opened my textbooks with bleary eyes, thankful that by some small miracle my teachers had let me study from home under the guise I was suffering from mono.

Somehow I managed to plaster a smile on my face for my entire shift, though my tips told me it wasn't as convincing as my recent tequila-filled grins. I was swearing off anything mood altering for the time being. My mind was taken up with the various things I had to get done, on top of making sure my best friend successfully survived heroin withdrawals and mentally calculating the days I had till my next assignment was due, one that my college career hinged on. No pressure. All of this had the underlying taste of longing. For Asher. Somehow, with my life being one kidnapping away from a soap opera or bad reality show, I missed him. I felt like I was going through withdrawals too. That my body was itching for him, yearning for my next fix.

I pulled up to my apartment with those things battling for the forefront of my mind, Asher winning hands down. It was then, a delightful sort of irony took over when my headlights illuminated a familiar Harley. Two of them in fact. My tired body soared, renewed energy coming from the fact my next hit was so close. Reason went out the door. All the reasons why not. So it was in my eagerness to get to the elation his presence promised that I forgot to check. Do what I always did when I pulled into the parking lot of my dodgy apartment building in the bad part of town. I didn't need to. Asher's bike was there. Asher was there. It meant safety.

Safety that obviously wasn't guaranteed when I was slammed against the door I'd just shut.

"You think you can hide behind your dogs," a rough voice hissed, a huge body pressing me against the car.

I could only see a dim outline of the figure in the darkness of the parking lot. His hand pressed painfully against my throat. Terror pulsed through me.

"There'll be a time when they get sick of that snatch when they throw you aside." The hand not at my neck trailed down my side.

My heart beat furiously, and my eyes were glued to the door of my apartment, willing it to open. I struggled to contain my panic, my airway cut off both from the pressure of his hand and the terror creeping up my throat.

"Or maybe they won't," the voice continued slowly. "Maybe that pussy will keep them entertained. It doesn't mean that one day when they're not expecting it, we'll take what we are owed." The hand moved to my breast, and I cried out, the sound silenced by the pressure at my neck. "Maybe we'll just take it now," the voice mused.

"Dude, we gotta go," another figure emerged from the darkness.

The hand at my throat loosened and the head moved. "We'll go when I say we go," he snapped.

His distraction gave me the opportunity to bring my knee up to connect with his crotch. I felt satisfied with the grunt of pain he emitted, and the fact he doubled over enough for me to dart out of his hold.

I didn't hesitate. "Asher," I screamed with my husky voice, running past the stationary second form. I heard muttered curses from behind me as my apartment door opened.

"Asher," I screamed again as my run across the parking lot seemed to take forever.

"Lily," I heard his bellow.

The screeching of tires had me looking over my shoulder to watch a black car zoom out of the lot. Because I was looking one way and running another, I smacked into something, hard. Luckily that something was warm and smelled musky and safe. Hands reached out to steady me.

"Flower," Asher said urgently.

"A-sh-ash," I wheezed, clutching his shoulders. A fist tightened around my lungs, the terror and the exertion of my short fight and run already catching up on me. This time, it wasn't anxiety or fear strangling me. This was real, my body's response to the incident moments before.

"Lily, your inhaler, where is it?" he demanded sharply, immediately registering the reason for my strangled breathing.

I was frozen for a split second, then out of instinct, I reached for my bag on my shoulder. My panic intensified when the realization hit that I must have dropped it in the struggle. I pointed at my car while the wheezing got worse.

Calm. I told myself. You're safe. Asher means safe.

"What's going on ... shit Lily, are you okay?" a familiar and concerned voice asked with urgency mirroring Asher's.

"Get her bag from the car, now," Asher demanded, lifting me into his arms. The dim light illuminated his attractive face, tight with concern. "You've got more inside, right?" he asked while striding with apparent ease up the stairs to my apartment.

I nodded. "Totally soap opera," I wheezed between strangled breaths. I would've laughed if I had the ability. And wasn't scared out of my wits.

"What?" Asher frowned down at me.

I didn't have time to reply.

"Lily! Oh my God is she okay?" A pale looking Bex leaned against the door, regarding us in horror.

"Get her inhaler, now," Asher barked at her, and she scrambled to comply.

"I'm fi-fine, it's n-not bad," I tried in vain to reassure him.

He frowned down at me once more and settled on the sofa, positioning me so I was on his lap.

Bex thrust my inhaler at me, and I self-consciously puffed on it, aware of the many sets of eyes focused on me at that moment. As my breathing calmed, I felt Asher's hand on my chest relax, though his body stayed tight and his hand didn't move.

"Okay, I had a fuckin' internal struggle the entire way back in here," Lucky said, bursting into the room, his attractive face worried. "I know handbags are like a chick's sacred space, and no man should venture in without express permission, but it seemed like life or death. Someone tell me what the fuck I'm looking for in here before my hand gets bitten off by some handbag urchin hiding in the depths of this colossal thing," he pleaded with his head bent, riffling through my bag.

His head snapped up, and he focused on me, on what was in my hand and realization dawned.

I couldn't help the giggle that burst out of me at his face, and the fact he was holding my baby pink tote, one tattooed hand still elbow deep. When he saw where my eyes were focused, the muscled arm immediately retreated. A tampon came attached to that muscled arm, he looked down in horror and quickly dropped it. He gingerly held the bag by its handles, holding it slightly away from his body like it was an undetonated bomb. This made me laugh even more.

"Is she okay? Are there drugs in that? If so, I'll take a toke when you're done," Lucky deadpanned, nodding to the bag.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Asher shake his head and Bex rolled her eyes from her spot in front of me. When my laughter finally faded out, the seriousness of what had just happened crept back in.

Asher lightly touched my chin so I was focused on him. Despite everything, I drank in every aspect of his features, as if we'd been separated for months. I was aching for my fix. For his lips on mine. His body on mine. My need almost outweighed everything else around us. Almost.

"What was that? Why are you guys here?" I asked before he could go all alpha and demand to know if I was unharmed and untraumatized. I was sitting on his knee close enough for him to see no immediate bloody bullet wounds.

His face searched mine, resting on my mouth for a moment. "Want to tell me if you're okay first, flower? Then we'll get into explanations. On both sides," he added ominously.

See? Alpha male protectiveness. There must be classes on it.

My back straightened, and I felt my face flame upon the realization that both Lucky and Rosie, who was unusually quiet in the corner, had seen me sucking on my inhaler after having a small tussle with random men and running a couple of meters. These guys dodged bullets without a breaking a sweat, maybe not Rosie, but I knew she could take care of herself. Me? I wheezed and whimpered after a minor altercation.

"I'm fine," I said quietly, my eyes moving downward self-consciously.

Again, Asher's hand moved to make our eyes meet once more. I noticed his hand was still resting lightly on my chest.

"You were just attacked in your own parking lot, no one expects you to be fine, Lily," he told me quietly.

I met his eyes. "I am," I replied firmly. "I won't be if someone doesn't tell me what's going on." I moved my eyes around the room. Lucky had gingerly put my handbag on the ground and was watching me with knitted brows, his gaze kept flickering to Bex, with something that looked like annoyance and concern. It was something I'd never seen on him. Granted, I didn't spend huge amounts of time with him, so I wasn't exactly flush with knowledge of his facial expressions, but it seemed unusual. Rosie was sitting across from us, her eyes were glued to Asher and me, her brows knitted with worry. Bex looked at her hands.

The silence hung heavy in the room for a moment before Bex looked up with watery eyes.

"It was because of me," she whispered in a voice I didn't recognize. Broken. Defeated.

"It is not because of you," Lucky interrupted with a face like a hurricane. "That's the last time you're laying the blame of this shit at your pretty little feet, got it?" he commanded roughly, his eyes locked in some sort of stare off with Bex. I watched in amazement as she held it for a moment then nodded, looking away. Lucky's jaw was hard and he kept watching her. Bex never lost stare-offs, never. Even though Lucky may have been a scary, albeit well-tempered biker, she normally wouldn't have flinched at his stormy gaze. But today she did. Her mask had been ripped off, now she was battling with her demon, and the vulnerable girl underneath peeked out. It broke my heart. Reason number a million and one why I wished my mom was still here. To heal her. To help me fix her.

"They were here because they're the scum of the earth who consider women property and don't like it when they get told otherwise," Asher cut in.

I restrained a snort. Despite the sorrow edging into the forefront of my mind, I couldn't help but see the irony.

Asher saw something in my face. "We never see women as property, flower. Not our club. Women aren't possessions to be owned and traded. Any fucker that thinks that is someone that needs to taste lead," he declared hotly.

"And who are these specific ... fuckers?" I asked softly.

Lucky, who had been seriously regarding Bex, let out a choked sound. We all looked at him. He waved his hand.

"Sorry, shit. I'm well aware of the need to teach these fuckers a serious lesson. But I wasn't even sure you could utter the word 'fuck,' Lily," he told me seriously.

Despite myself, I grinned. I was the only one.

"You know Bex's boss?" Asher asked, getting us back on track.

I nodded. "I've had the displeasure."

His face tightened. "The strip club serves as a recruiting tool for his main business, peddling flesh," he stated flatly.

I nodded again.

Asher looked at me in surprise.

"You knew?" he asked.

"No, but I'm not surprised. That guy gave me the serious heebie-jeebies," I declared, my concerned eyes on Bex. I didn't know where this story was leading, but it wasn't anywhere good for my troubled best friend.

"Bex?" I said slowly, needing the rest to come from her.

"I said no," she told me quickly, as if I would doubt her, judge her. I would never do either. We all did what we had to do to survive, to make it through. There were choices that people had to make that weren't pretty or ideal, but they were necessary.

"Or I may have used more colorful words than a one syllable response, just to get my message across." She grinned, a glimpse of the old Bex shining through. "I thought that was the end of it. Obviously not," she finished.

I felt like I'd missed something. "That's why those thugs were here? To bully you into prostitution?" I guessed.

The way the air turned wired had me thinking my guess was correct. I glanced over to a hard-jawed Lucky.

"Thing one and thing two came knocking at the door, trying to intimidate the little female into letting them in or they'd huff and puff and blow my house down. Didn't count on the fact I'd seen way worse than them. And I had bigger, badder, wolves on speed dial," Rosie spoke for the first time, grinning, as was her way. Growing up with bikers had her slightly insane. In a good way.

"I don't get it," I said, furrowing my brows. "Carlos may be an asshole, but he can't expect you to go back working there after that? What did he have to gain from it?" I asked Bex.

She shrugged. "The fact I've got nothing else. That I need to eat."

My eyes popped out. "You're not going back there?" I asked in disbelief.

She obviously hadn't been to work in the past few days, for obvious reasons. Reasons that hadn't been shared with the group. Reasons I tried to remind her of with her mind. The slippery slope of addiction was one thing that should have scared her off, this was another. Like she said, she had to eat. Sometimes we didn't have the luxury of choice.