"Pfft. That's because you were going to rule the world someday. High school was made for kids like you. I was just trying to have some fun and be myself."

"And now look what's happened. You're ruling the world, and I'm the one goofing around in the Gray."

"Hardly," I said. "If I were in charge of the world, we'd all be in some serious s.h.i.t."

"No, I can't. That wouldn't be right," said Tim.

I frowned, trying to figure out where that answer fit into our conversation. "What did you just say, Tim?"

"But if she was hurt by it, I'd never forgive myself," he said.

"Tim, are you talking to me?" I was so confused.

"Tim!" said Tony sharply. "I told you not to engage!"

I felt up Tony's arm to his shoulder, trying to grab hold of my wayward friend.

"Okay, if you say so," Tim continued. "But you know, if she gets mad at me, I'm going to blame you."

"He's talking to a spirit. Get him, Jayne!"

I s.n.a.t.c.hed Tim's little body off Tony's shoulder, knowing it was going to p.i.s.s him off; but no way was I going to lose my friend in this nasty void.

"Unhand me, you giant beast!" he screeched. "You're ruining my hair!" He sounded more like my roommate already.

"Be quiet, troublemaker. You broke the rules. Now you're going to pay the piper." I turned my voice towards where I thought Tony was. "What should I do with him?"

"Put him somewhere he can't escape from but where he won't be hurt. We'll be out of here soon."

With lightning speed I considered all the possible pixie jails at my disposal. There was my pocket, which I ruled out immediately as a great way to crush at least his wings if not his whole body since these pants weren't the loosest pair I owned. My moccasin wasn't any good either because I'd never be able to keep him contained in there. I chose the last resort, knowing he was going to be super cranky with me later, but there was a little bit of poetic justice going on for me in my head, getting him back for not only suggesting that I use my a.s.sets to cause a cataclysmic event but also in advance for the hard time I knew he was going to give me over my escape from the dragons. Plus, it had sure sounded like he was about to sell me out or do something that would p.i.s.s me off, so he totally had it coming.

"Get in there, you little punk," I said, shoving him down into my sports bra. No ghost would follow him into my cleavage, I was sure of it.

I could feel him scrabbling around in there and shouting something, but his words were too m.u.f.fled to make out. I pressed the top of my bra down to my chest so he couldn't slip out of any gaps.

"Where'd he go?" asked Tony.

"Never mind. Just get us the h.e.l.l out of here."

I ignored the whispers that came more urgently to my ear and the cold ribbons of restless souls sliding across my skin. I took shallow breaths, even worried about the possibility of taking one of them home in my lungs.

"We're almost there. Spike, or errr, guy pretending to be Spike, I need you to agree to something before I bring you out on the other side."

"By all means. I will do whatever I can to please you, Pa.s.sage-Maker."

"You have to agree to submit yourself to the council of the Fae when we arrive, and you also must agree not to disappear or leave the Here and Now without their permission."

"As you wish," he said.

I wasn't sure if we could trust him or not, so I added my little piece. "And if you break that promise to my friend, I'll hunt you down and mess you up myself."

His voice was suddenly very close to my ear, sending even more shivers through my body. "I would expect nothing less of the Mother."

I felt like growling at him but held myself back. The spirits were getting more agitated, and the last thing I needed to do right now was get distracted or feed their unrest.

I saw a flash of light ahead, and then it disappeared. A moment later, it came back again, but higher up. It was like a sliver of yellow, blinking in and out, sometimes up at my face-level, and other times down lower, at our knees. It was like a curtain covering a sunny window, swaying in the breeze, sometimes blocking the light and sometimes not.

"We're here," said Tony, breathing out an audible sigh of relief. "All you need to do is go through the seam there. Keep your fingers open and shake off any hangers-on you feel before you step out."

I watched demon-Spike go through first. As he pushed aside the veil separating the two realms, for brief moment his form was bathed in brilliant light; and then he disappeared and the light winked out as the curtain closed behind him.

"I hope you don't mind if I go first, Jayne. I've reached my limit for time in here. I'm worried about dead spots again."

"Holy s.h.i.t, Tones, go!" I yelled, pushing him towards the seam.

He half-fell and half-stepped through, leaving Tim and me alone in the Gray.

"Well, Tim, here we go. Shake off the bad guys and don't even think about dragging anybody out of here with us." I took a step forward and had one leg partially out, when I was suddenly grabbed from behind and yanked back in.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN.

"I REALLY WISH YOU WOULD stay a while longer," said a voice from my left that I knew only too well. The hands that belonged to someone standing behind me had both of my upper arms in a tight squeeze. I could feel claws through the material of my tunic. They hadn't dug in yet, but the threat was there. Troll!

"Who is that?" came Tim's m.u.f.fled voice from my bra. "Where am I? Why do I smell sweat in here?"

Ignoring Tim, I said, "I'd love to stay and chat, but I have somewhere important to be." I kicked my foot backwards, making contact with the troll's leg.

"Bring her back in with us. I have a few things I'd like to show her."

"Go to h.e.l.l, Leck. Oh, wait ... looks like you're already here," I said, slowly reaching my hand down to find my weapon at my leg. The hands holding me didn't stop me, which gave me a flash of hope that I might still make it out in one piece.

"Oh my G.o.d ... I'm in your bra aren't I?" said Tim, sounding panicked. "Holy giant b.o.o.b alert! Help! S.O.S! Rescue party needed, stat!"

I grabbed the top of the dragon fang and pulled it out inch by inch. It might not have any dragonfire power in it here, but it was still a pretty sharp stick and was probably worth at least a good eye-poking or possible clubbing over the head. I was willing to give it a shot, anyway. I continued to ignore not only Tim's panicked cries for help but also his pummeling of my b.o.o.bs.

"You think you are so intelligent, don't you?" mocked Leck. "But of course, how could you be, when you're so fundamentally wrong about not only where I am, but about everything else you've ever a.s.sumed from the moment you took your first step as a changeling?"

"Well, not everyone can be as smart as you, Leck. Or as ugly." I threw my arms up to dislodge the grip the troll side-kick had on me and spun around, swinging my club out in front of me.

It made contact with the side of someone's head with a nice solid thunk. I didn't know whose it was until I heard the roar of unhappiness that followed. Definitely troll screams. d.a.m.n. Not Leck. I took a step back towards the seam, swinging the weapon in front of me to the left and right like a giant sword. It made whooshing sounds giving me a weird sense of security. It might be mostly powerless, but at least it sounded bada.s.s.

"Stay the h.e.l.l back or I'm gonna knock you into next week. I played softball, you know! I know how to hit home runs like n.o.body's business!"

"Take her. The dark has no power here."

I felt hands grab me from behind, but didn't fight them off. They were coming from the seam where I knew or hoped my friends were waiting.

At the same moment I felt their hands on me, the troll reached out for me too - I could see the outline of his clawed, meaty fist with the light that was leaking through from the Here and Now. The left side of my body was out of the Gray now, but the rest of it was still in.

I swung my weapon as my body leaned backwards, being pulled from behind. Blackie made contact with the troll's fist and sent up a huge fireworks display of blue sparks, a loud sizzle and stink mixing in with the screams of the monster that was in obvious pain.

"That's right, troll-demon s.h.i.thead!" I shouted, thrilled that Blackie was back in business. "Dragonfire! In yo face!"

Before I could deliver the punishing blows I had pictured in my mind as my next moves, I felt myself yanked backwards into the Here and Now, the curtain between the realms falling closed behind me.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN.

I LANDED ON MY BACK, Tony cushioning my fall underneath me.

"What was that all about?" he grunted from the ground, breathing heavily.

I sat up, brushing my arms and thighs off, taking my time answering him, reveling in the fact that not only was I alive, but I was unscathed and back in the Here and Now.

"Do you mind, Jayne?"

I turned around to look at Tony's red face, his head still flat on the ground.

"Mind what?"

"Getting up!" he yelled, pushing weakly on my b.u.t.t and lower back.

I smiled, taking my time with rolling away from him. "Oh, I'm sorry. Am I squashing you?" Once I was off I answered his question. "I had a little meeting with Leck and a troll friend of his." I stood, trying to remove the bits of gra.s.s and leaf that were stuck to every part of my pants. I reached under my sleeves, finding some on the back of my arms, too. I plucked at my tunic, trying to get them off.

"Leck's in the Gray?" Tony asked, being helped to his feet by demon-Spike.

"Yeah. Nice, eh? It totally suits him."

I felt a scratching in my bra. "Oh, s.h.i.t. I forgot. Sorry, Tim." I reached into my shirt and opened the top of my bra, intending to fish him out; but before I could even get my hand in, he flew out on his own. And man, oh man, was he mad.

"How dare you put me in your bra ... of all places! Do you have any idea how sweaty your cleavage is? Do you have any idea the amount of oxygen there is in there? Not enough, Jayne, not enough." He fake-heaved a few times in midair.

I tried to look contrite, but it was impossible. He was having the worst hair day he'd probably ever had in, like, a hundred years. I only wished I had a mirror to show him.

"Why are you smiling?!" he shouted. "Do you like torturing small defenseless fae? Perhaps that's the reason you were sent to the Underworld, have you ever thought of that?"

"Uh, Tim? Your hair is seriously f.u.c.ked up. Just thought you should know."

His mouth froze in mid-b.i.t.c.hing. He slowly reached his hands up to the sides of his head, his palms making contact way sooner than he expected with the hair sticking out above his ears.

"Huh? Wha...?! What have you done to me?!" he screeched, flying away, his hands crazily slapping the sides and top of his head in an effort to control his electrified hair. He disappeared in the distance.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Tony with a bemused expression, watching Tim go.

"I guess I messed up his hair too much. Plus, apparently he's not a fan of my cleavage."

Tony lifted an eyebrow. "I can imagine."

I punched him in the arm. "Shut up and stop talking about my b.o.o.bs; I'm feeling violated."

"As if," he said, laughing lightly. "But seriously, what happened to you? How'd you end up in the Underworld in the first place?"

I put my arm through Tony's and pulled him along, heading back towards the compound. "That, my friend, is an excellent question. Let's go ask someone smarter than us. Maybe we'll be able to get some answers there, because I sure as h.e.l.l don't have any."

"How'd you break that hanging spell?"

"If you ask me again, I'm going to pound you, Tony," I said in a very calm voice.

"I'll ask Gregale, then."

I jerked hard on his arm as I kept walking. "You will do no such thing. We're going to forget it ever happened."

Tony laughed. "Whatever you say, bossy pants."

I had the distinct impression he was going to ignore my order. "You'd better listen to me, Baloney Head."

"Or what?"

"Or I'll ... shove you into my cleavage or something."

"Oh, gross. Are you trying to make me vomit right now?"

I laughed, pulling him along faster. "Hey! My cleavage isn't that bad!"

Demon-Spike, who'd been walking along quietly behind us said, "Spike agrees with you on that."

I stopped walking and spun around, having just remembered he was there and still possessing my friend's body. "Hey! Listen up, demon guy! I want my friend back, whole, and not with your personality or whatever inside it. So what do we need to do to make that happen?" I planted my hands on my hips, ready to get angry if necessary.

Becky appeared without any warning at all, just to the right of me.

"Aaack!" I screamed, jumping to the side. "s.h.i.t, Becky! What the h.e.l.l!" My heart was instantly set to racing again, and just when it had gone back to a normal rhythm. I rested my hand on my chest for a few seconds, trying to get my pulse under control.

Once I'd accomplished that mission, I stepped over and slapped Becky's arm. "Stop doing that, Beck. You gonna give me a friggin heart attack one day."

"Sooooo-rryyyy! I'm just coming to inform you that the council wants to see you guys. Both of you," she said, pointing to Tony and then me. "Where've you been anyway? Everyone's been back in the compound for hours."

"We've been tied up, messenger girl. You can go tell the council that I'll be there after I've had a shower and changed my clothes. I have dragon breath all over me."