I smile wryly. "No, actually, she tried to cut me with a knife, like, for real, when Angie said, 'First things first, I'm the realest.'"

Biting her lip, Avery tries not to crack up as I nod. "Exactly."

"Uncle Jace, what is transgender and can I catch that?"

Avery sputters with laughter as I glare. Meeting Angie's gaze in the mirror I say, "Ask your mom. And also, I'm not transgender and you can't catch it. It's not a disease."

Still laughing, Avery bends over and I just shake my head. "What's so funny?"

"Who knows?" I say to Angie. "She's crazy. You ready?"

"Ready!"

I look at Avery and she glances up at me, still giggling as I ask, "Ready?"

Sending me a sneaky grin, she laughs. "Let's do this."

And we are off. It's a beautiful day. So instead of heading to the rink, like we would usually do, we go to the park where I know we can not only play a little stick and puck but also play on the big playground Angie loves. When I first got my license and I was the main one watching Angie, we went to the park a lot to spend our afternoons. Angie is my little homie.

But the whole way to the park, I'm invisible, and all that matters to Angie is Avery. Angie is full of life, talking a million miles a second. I'm sure some people would be annoyed by it, but Avery is eating it up. She's just as enthusiastic as Angie, and it fills me with all kinds of funny feelings.

When we arrive, we are the only ones there, thankfully, and Angie is bouncing as she waits for me to lace up her skates. "Are you not playing, Avery?"

"I don't have skates. I guess I'll be the goalie."

"Cool," Angie says with a grin. Why does that make me so happy? Avery's all about it, ready to play, when any other time, she acts as if she hates it. A part of me doesn't think she hates the sport; I think she hates that it stole her family away. But that isn't hockey's fault. Hockey loves you and lures you into its awesomeness. It was her family's job to include her.

"Think I can score on her, Jacey?" Angie asks, stealing my attention.

Looking back at Avery, I wink. "I think so."

Avery kicks me in the back of the knee, and I laugh as I tie Angie's other skate. Then she is off, taking the puck to the goal I set up. She skates with ease, probably because we've had her on skates since she could first wobble. I remember Rick would get p.i.s.sed about her skating and playing with us at such a young age, but I don't think any of us cared. Because he is a douche, and Angie is ours.

"She's good."

"Yeah, we started her early," I say, lacing up my own skates. "I have some extra skates you can use."

She laughs. "Please. No way my feet would fit."

"True. Try to keep up."

Giving me a dubious look, she rolls her eyes. "Everything is a compet.i.tion with you."

"Not my fault I love to win." I wink, stealing the puck from Angie, and then they are both chasing me. Soon, it doesn't matter that Avery doesn't have skates because we are having too much fun. I love how she is with Angie. She's funny and goofy; I love this side of her. I'm not saying she isn't like this with me-she is, just more sarcastic. Nonetheless, she's always fun. But with Angie, it's as if she's gone back a few years in age and she and Angie are BFFs. It's cute.

When Angie attempts to score on her, it goes past Avery with ease, and soon she's playfully glaring at Angie. Angie has been scoring on Avery all afternoon, but unlike the other times she scored, this time, Avery runs out after her, tackle-hugging her and picking her up off her feet. Their giggles surround me like a big, warm blanket as I watch Avery hug Angie close to her chest, kissing her cheek.

"You sneaky little thang!"

I laugh out loud as Angie giggles even harder before breaking away and skating off. Shooting me a look, Avery asks, "What?"

"That was country as all get-out," I tease and she glares. She hates when I tease her for becoming more Southern.

"Shut it."

"Oh, no offense, ma'am. Just stating the truth, which I think is kinda hot," I drawl, skating around her. "Soon, you'll be drinking sweet tea and rocking on the front porch with me."

"You're insane." She tries to smack me, but I'm too quick.

"It's okay, baby. Just be a country singer-it's way hotter."

Rolling her eyes, she lunges for me and I catch her, but she knocks me off-balance. I end up on my back with her on top of me. I cry out from the rock digging into my back, and she laughs as she hugs my neck.

"Ew! Mommy said don't kiss in front of me," Angie yells, but we both ignore her.

"Why would she say that?" I ask incredulously, pointing at her. "Look away, Angie. Save your eyes!"

And then I'm kissing Avery. Her mouth is like the sweetest honey, and I can't get enough. When I hear Angie gagging, I smile against Avery's lips and she pulls away.

"This is fun."

"It is."

"Thanks for inviting me," she says, getting up and holding her hand out for me. Taking it, I get up on my own before I wrap my arm around her waist as she grins up at me.

"Anytime. I hope you'll come more."

"For sure. I'm down." She flashes me a bigger grin as she runs off to block a shot Angie just took. As I watch them go back and forth, something inside me just breaks. Well...it doesn't really break, it just gets bigger.

It's my heart.

Yeah, I think I'm almost there.

But I still feel like Avery could be my first heartbreak.

And that bothers me.

Today was probably one of my favorite days so far.

Angie is a hoot and a delight to be around. Of course, Jace is a blast too, but Angie was just so much fun. I've always wanted a little sister, someone to love and love me back. It's been something I've craved, and today, I got it. I was overwhelmed with it all. It was perfect.

As we drive back to Lucy's office, Angie has so much to say. She is so energetic and so much like Jace, it's crazy. When he asked me to come, I was a little nervous. I hadn't had much experience with kids, but the moment I met her, it was like when I met Jace-we clicked. She is the yin to my inner-child yang, and I love her to pieces. I'm kind of sad we have to drop her off, and apparently, so is she.

Hugging me tightly as Jace puts her car seat back in Lucy's car, she turns to face me after I kiss her cheek. "When do I get to play with you again?"

Tucking a stray curl behind her ear, I smile. "I don't know. I am going to Jace's game Friday. I think you're going too."

"Awesome! I am. I can't wait. Jacey is the best hockey player ever!"

Giving me a smug grin, Jace nods. "Told ya."

Grinning, I cup Angie's face. "I've heard. I can't wait to see. So it's a date? Me and you?"

"Yes!" she exclaims as Lucy comes outside. "Mommy! Avery is coming to the game Friday."

Doing jazz hands, Lucy catches Angie when she jumps into her arms, kissing her loudly on the cheek. "Awesome. Means me and grandma get to feel her out the whole game and embarra.s.s Uncle Jace the entire time," she says with a wink, and I grin back.

"Oh yay," Jace says dryly while I giggle.

"Can't wait."

"Maybe we can all go to the dinner afterward, especially since Jude and Claire will be in town. We'll make him pay," she adds with a grin as she hugs Jace tightly. "I called Mom."

I watch as he tenses up before pulling back. "What did she say?"

"She isn't happy, but she doesn't care who is there. She is there for you."

"Figures. She didn't seem broken up about it, did she?" he asks nervously. I have no clue what's going on, but it doesn't seem good.

"No. You know since she started dating Coach, she's changed. I think she's getting over him."

"I hope so."

"Doesn't mean you should trust him, though, Jace," she warns, and I feel like I should walk away. This is family s.h.i.t, and since I'm not family, I should probably b.u.t.t out. But then Lucy is talking again, and I'm too nosy to walk away.

Personality flaw, I know.

"He is gonna hurt you. He's burned all of us."

Jace nods slowly before folding his arms over his chest. "I hear you."

"Okay, well, I'll text you if you need to watch your back for Jude and Jayden, but I'm sure they'll call."

"Yeah, for sure."

"Oh, and thanks. I think she had a blast," she says happily as she looks at Angie, who has a grin a mile wide.

"I did," Angie exclaims. "Avery is my favorite!"

Grinning big, my heart soars. No one has ever said that about me.

"Whoa!" Jace mock-complains. "What about me?"

She reaches for him, and he takes her as she kisses him loudly on the cheek. "Well, duh, you'll always be my favorite."

"That's my girl," he whispers against her cheek before kissing and putting her on her feet. "Love you both. See ya later."

"See ya. Thanks again. Great meeting you, Avery."

Smiling back at Lucy, I wave. "You too. Bye, Angie."

"Bye!"

As we walk back to the car, Jace wraps his arms across my shoulders, pulling me in against his chest. Kissing my temple, he asks, "Did you have fun?"

I nod as a grin pulls at my lips. "So much fun."

"Good. Guess what?"

"What?"

"You're my favorite, too," he says before taking me in his arms and kissing me hard on the lips. His fingers thread into my hair, and I feel like I'm flying as our lips move together in perfect unison. We haven't kissed nearly as much today as we usually do, and I don't want to let him go as his tongue moves into my mouth, deepening the kiss. While I bring my hand up against his face, I replay the conversation from earlier and it worries me.

I can tell he wants more from me, that he may very well be in love with me, and I don't know how to handle that. I don't know how to feel about it. While it excites me, gives me the chills, and makes me want to do a giddy dance, it also makes me want to run and hide. Because...can it be real? Can he be real? Can what we are feeling be real?

The reason I'm asking is because the last two weeks have been a whirlwind of happiness. When I say I wake up happy, I do-like super happy. And sometimes that makes me think I can skip my meds, which is huge because I need them. But when I'm with him, I feel like I don't. It almost seems like a fairy tale. I mean, we spend every free moment together. And even that may not seem like enough time together to us, so we try to make more time for each other. I didn't think I could do it all and still nurture what we have, but I am. Between cla.s.ses, my gigs downtown, and those at the coffee shop, we are making it work. That might change in January when I start my internship with Empress Records, but he promised me it wouldn't. That we will find the time to just lie together, which is my favorite thing to do with him. My head against his chest as his heart thumps against his ribs.

I love the sound of his heart. It's so strong, and I swear it is the beat of every song I write. Boy, have I written a lot. I write about him, about the way he makes me feel, and how happy I am. It's so freaking different than writing about wanting to run a blade across my skin just to make it bleed. Or how picking up the shards of my heart is hard when all I want to do is cut my body with them. I'm happy. Honestly happy, and I don't ever want to feel anything but happy.

I'm sure that means I have to keep kissing this man for that to happen.

I have no problem with that.

Pulling away, I run my fingers along his jaw as he looks down at me, his eyes burning into mine. "I've missed kissing you all day."

"I was just thinking the same thing."

He winks. "Smart girl."

Grinning, he kisses my nose before reaching for the door. Returning his grin, I get into the car and he does the same before we are off. Unlike on our drive over here when I was a.n.a.lyzing everything he had said before, we talk animatedly with each other. More about Angie than anything, but I still can't shake what he said. I know I owe it to him to give him more information than I have so far, but it's difficult. I don't know how to give him all of me when some parts of me are so damaged, I'm not even sure they are worth giving. How do I explain what I did? How do explain what Caleb did? Will I seem weak? I mean, I was. And man, what if I tell him I'm on meds? Will he be disgusted by me? Think I'm pathetic because I can't function without medication to steady me? I don't know, and that's what worries me so badly.

I love how we are right now.

And I don't want it to end.

But he wants more. Not only has he basically said it, but I can feel it.

"The douche my sister was married to, Rick... Man, we all hate him," he says as he hits the interstate to get back to school. "He cheated on her with like four different women while she was pregnant with Angie and then he started a relationship with his now-wife after Angie was born. He left my sister on Angie's third birthday. I truly thought my dad was gonna kill him. I was only like sixteen, I think? It was nasty."

"Jeez, that's crazy."

"No, what's crazy is that Angie has to go see that douche every other weekend. He doesn't love her. He just likes f.u.c.king with Lucy. I hate him."

"Me too, and I don't even know him."

"Believe me, you're better off without knowing that a.s.swipe," he says, pure loathing dripping from his voice. "Lucy may be the oldest, but we all treat her like she's the youngest. We're really overprotective."

I smile. "That's sweet."