Barks and Purrs - Part 12
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Part 12

Oh dog, poisoned with literature! An eternal misunderstanding separates us. "I'm a little bull-dog," you replied just now, with that stupid sincerity which disarms me. Let me say to you in my turn, "I am a Cat."

The name is sufficient dispensation. There is in me a hatred of pain and ugliness, an overmastering detestation of all that offends my sight, or my reason. When the concierge's cat dragged around his wounded paw, I threw myself upon him, fired by a righteous anger, and until he stopped his whining I--

TOBY-DOG, (_supplicatingly_)

Don't tell me!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_getting angry_) Understand then, once and for all--if the pale recital of what I did upsets you--that I wished to abolish, to annihilate in that bleeding animal the suggestion of my own inevitable death ...

(_They are quiet for a little while_.)

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_shuddering_)

This confinement does us no good. I would gladly go out into the soft sunshine and do "the bayadeer's dance," as He calls it, on the dry gravel among the leaves, which look like fried potatoes. Everything is yellow out-of-doors. My green eyes would reflect the golden sun and the flaming woods and so turn yellow too.... Now I'll think only of what is joyous and yellow, the beautiful, cold Autumn, the rosy dawn that leaves its colors in the foliage of the cherry-tree ... Come, let's prove the strength of our legs and enjoy to the full the consciousness that youth has only just begun for us ... Who knows, death may never come ...

(_He jumps down from the console-table, without making the least noise_.)

TOBY-DOG, (_stopping him_)

What are you going to do?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Scratch at the door, and strike up the "Hymn of the Sequestered Cat."

TOBY-DOG, (_indicating the figure on the couch_)

And doubtless waken Her?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_stubbornly_)

I'll sing in a very small voice.

TOBY-DOG

And you'll scratch with your tiniest claws, I suppose? Stay here quietly, He commanded it when He went away.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_loftily_)

Does He command me? He beseeches me, and that's my only reason for obeying him.

(_He sits down again, apparently resigned, and yawns slowly_.)

TOBY-DOG, (_yawning_)

You make me yawn.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

On the contrary, it's you who bore me. (_Temptingly_.) You're thinking what a good thing freedom is, aren't you?... A hen has probably escaped from the chicken yard--what sport you're missing!

TOBY-DOG

You really think so?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

I said: probably.... Have you finished exploring that rabbit's hole?

TOBY-DOG, (_disturbed_)

No ... it's so very deep! I almost buried myself, hollowing it out yesterday. The earth that stuck to my muzzle had some of the animal's fur in it....

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_more and more satanic_)

I suppose you'll finish that to-morrow ... or some other day. TOBY-DOG, (_sadly_)

Why not say next year, while you're about it?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

What's the matter with you? Your shiny black lip hangs down an ell, and your froggy eyes glitter with tears. Are you crying?

TOBY-DOG, (_sniffling_)

No ...

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Poor, sensitive heart, console yourself. You'll have your pleasures and your friends again. At this very moment the farmer's dog is crunching bones in the kitchen ... to beguile the long wait for you.

TOBY-DOG, (_overcome_)

Oh! oh! the farmer's dog!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

She's not alone either; that great dane, the watch-dog, keeps her company.

TOBY-DOG, (_rebellious_)

That's not true!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Go see.

TOBY-DOG, (_after one bound toward the door_) No, that would make noise.