I rapped on the gla.s.s, forgetting the driver had a speaker b.u.t.ton. He was accommodating and dropped me at a nearby drug store, no questions asked. I couldn't say the same for the cashier. I covered the test with a candy bar, but she still price-checked it. I should have thrown up on her pristine floors just for her snotty look.

The driver delivered me to the estate, but I wasn't sure how to dismiss him. He accepted a fl.u.s.tered goodbye as I tripped over myself into the mansion and rushed into the nearest bathroom.

I didn't recognize the blue tile.

Had I ever been in this powder room before?

It didn't matter. I locked the door in case Zach finally decided to show up and ripped open the box. The contents flew everywhere like a piata chalk-full of unfortunate surprises.

This was silly. I was on the pill. Even if Zach and I got a little too close for comfort without a condom, the pills worked just fine. I was overreacting, and I'd laugh about this later.

...Because I sure as h.e.l.l wasn't laughing now.

I could either sit and do my thing or use a small container to catch the specimen. Ew. I didn't like the odds on me doing either of the requirements correctly.

I opted to sit, but the quirky diagram drawn on the inside of the box made taking the test look like Olympic gymnastics. Sit, crouch, bend, flail. I wished my hands weren't shaking so d.a.m.n much.

But then it was done, and I resolved never to speak of it again. I rested the test flat on the counter per the instructions and waited.

My cellphone rang, and I nearly swore. I read the name. Azariah. Now was the worst time to chat with her.

But my trembling fingers grazed the wrong b.u.t.ton. The call connected. I grimaced and cradled the phone.

"Hey." I checked the call timer. Two minutes to go. "Can I call you back? I'm kinda busy."

Azariah had none of it. "Look, girl. You know I love you."

Oh, Christ, she had that tone. The settle-in-I-need-to-tell-you-how-bad-you-f.u.c.ked-up-don't-you-raise-your-voice-to-me lecture. I headed her off.

"It's fine." The panic rushed my words out, and I wasn't sure they spouted in the right order. "I already accepted your apology. We're fine. Heaven can p.i.s.s off, but we're fine. Seriously. I need to call you back. It's fine though."

"You're saying fine a lot."

"That's fi-okay."

"Look, Shay, I still feel s.h.i.tty, and I know how to make it up to you."

A time-machine? A condom? I was so not worried about what my friends thought of my money now.

"I got your party all organized," she said. "Forget the blowout. We're doing what you want."

"That's thoughtful." Thirty seconds down.

"We're calling caterers and waiters. Getting the real deal here, girl. Formal dress. Linen tablecloths. String quartet."

One minute left. "Sounds great. I gotta go."

"I just want you to know we are happy for you. I know I am."

"Thanks."

"And if that step-brother of yours does it for you, then fine. We all need a little vanilla sometimes."

Oh, I had a bit too much vanilla now. I swallowed. "Thanks."

"Do you love him?"

Dangerous question. I stilled. "I-?"

"Come on, now. Don't front with me. Are you in love with him?"

Not the best question to ask a woman holding a pregnancy test. Traditionally, the answer would be of course! Other acceptable responses included Oh, f.u.c.k! and When did that happen?

Not, I might be feeling something other than rage for the man who caused me to p.i.s.s on a piece of plastic.

The indicator was ready.

"Azariah, I'll text you later."

The call ended. I knew what the test would say before I read it.

I took a breath and turned it over.

Pregnant.

And now was the appropriate time for a freak-out of epic proportions. The type of freak-out that began with confetti cannons shooting unused condoms and ended with banners reading What Did You Think Would Happen.

Of course I was pregnant.

At the time, rolling with Zach on the floor of the library was one of the most wild and uncontrolled nights of my life. It was pa.s.sionate. It was romantic.

And Zach was exactly the type of super-strong, he-man, rough-and-tumble cowboy who would be super fertile. Able to jump tall buildings in a single bound and overcome every advancement of modern medicine just to get his girl.

Here I thought the rug burn on my knees would be the mistake of the night.

Nope.

Mega wrong.

Oh, so very wrong.

I sighed and held my head in my hands. Then I grimaced, threw the stick down, and washed my face.

This wasn't good.

Pregnant.

Holy s.h.i.t.

What was I supposed to do now?

I asked myself that question in a fancy powder rooms with imported tile, marble vanity, and beautiful fixtures. The bathroom was so big I could deliver, raise, and lose a baby in the room.

The worse part was that I freaked out in only one of the extravagant bathrooms in the mansion. h.e.l.l, I had two closets larger than my room in Momma's apartment. The garage even dwarfed my old apartment. I could fill the estate with hundreds of babies and still have s.p.a.ce left over.

I hoped it wouldn't come to that.

My chest tightened. My hands trembled, but I swallowed a quick sob.

It wasn't the room that scared me. Or the money. Or trying to take care of it. Him? Her?

It was Zach.

I could handle the heartache of him deploying, heading back into combat, leaving me for good, but what would it do to an innocent baby? I remembered what it was like growing up without a father.

I hated the thought of anyone else-especially my own baby-feeling the same.

"Figures." I pitched everything in the garbage and covered it with two dozen Kleenex. I considered flushing the test, but that didn't seem like a good idea. It was a plastic stick, not an unfortunate goldfish. "Now what?"

The door slammed.

Oh, s.h.i.t. That was what.

Zach.

Well...he was the one person who probably also deserved to hear the news. Generally fathers liked to know they were fathers. Most of them. The good ones, at least. Not that I knew any great fathers, but I really, really thought Zach might have turned into one.

If he even wanted to be a father.

If he hadn't already pledged to return to his overseas missions. Dangerous missions. He nearly died on a battlefield only a year ago. My stomach lurched, but this fear tasted different than my usual nausea. Distance wasn't the only problem that would separate my baby from her father.

Zach could get hurt.

He could die.

That was a little too much to take in right now, especially when most of my insides were trying to heave upwards and escape. Twenty-one years old, and I was pregnant.

The revelation knocked me on my a.s.s and saw fit to keep me there. How the h.e.l.l was I supposed to tell Zach if I hadn't even come close to processing it yet?

I needed some time to think. The house was big enough for me to hide in. I'd find a cozy place for the afternoon, make some tea, and I'd...figure it all out. Child-rearing 101 for the woman who just flunked out of college.

Oh, that didn't help the stress.

I snuck out of the bathroom too slowly. Zach rounded the corner as the door creaked. Thirty-thousand square feet and not a single can of WD-40 for the hinges.

"Hey," he said.

My shock turned to annoyance. For days he had been completely and totally absent-rushing around doing G.o.d-knows-what to get everything ready for his deployment. I called, texted, even made a couple dinners with extra servings for when he got back.

Apparently Zach was super-fertile but not super-considerate.

"Where have you been?" My voice edged a little too harsh.

I inwardly groaned. My anxiety released in a b.i.t.c.hy herald. I didn't want to start an argument. I took a breath. "I've been worried."

Zach shrugged. "Had something to take care of. I've got a headache. I'm going to lay down."

Another headache? He did look pale, and the sharpness of his green eyes dulled. He hadn't smiled yet.

All I needed was a flash of his dimples. If I could just have a moment with my light-hearted, goofy Zach, everything would have been okay.

But he didn't give me that. Even his voice turned gruff.

What was wrong with him?

And if he was already in a bad mood, what would a pregnancy do to him?

I crossed my arms, inadvertently hiding my tummy from him, like now that I discovered the baby I'd suddenly balloon to the size of a watermelon. As far as I knew, women didn't do that.

I hoped.

"Wait," I said. Zach hesitated before heading upstairs. "I...I have something to tell you."

"Can it wait?"

He bit the words. I frowned. What a way to welcome a child into the world. Hey, I'm pregnant, with a resounding response of f.u.c.k. No one deserved that, even a little peanut sized surprise that complicated everything.

He'd said he wanted a chance, just a shot to be with me. And he promised what I felt for him was a good thing and not the mistake of my lifetime.

Or worse-a mistake of the baby's lifetime.

"I would really like to talk to you now," I said.

Zach rubbed his face, tugging his hand over the blonde scruff on his chin. "What is it?"

He did not need to take an att.i.tude with me. I snorted. I wasn't about to shout I was pregnant at him in the same tone I'd yell for him to pick up his laundry. We lived in a mansion for Christ's sake. The money to our name almost required us discussing a child over a candlelit dinner of lobster and caviar while we thought of names like Chet and m.u.f.fy.

My heart fluttered. I could blame Zach's miserable mood all I wanted.

But it wasn't him. It was me.

I chickened out.

"I..." The words stuck. I gave up. "I talked with my attorney and investment partners. I can get the trust released to me early if you agree to change the terms."

"You had to ask me that?"

"You're named in the will, so...yep."