Come, come, now, admit it's too bad!

"You're a turbaned old Turk, and malignant; Your daughter Lenore I intensely adore And I cannot help feeling indignant, A fact that I hinted before.

"To see a fond father employing A deuce of a knout For to bang her about.

To a sensitive lover's annoying."

Said the bagman, "Crusader, get out!"

Says Guy, "Shall a warrior laden With a big spiky k.n.o.b.

Stand idly and sob.

While a beautiful Saracen maiden Is whipped by a Saracen sn.o.b?

"To London I'll go from my charmer."

Which he did, with his loot (Seven hats and a flute), And was nabbed for his Sydenham armor, At Mr. Ben-Samuel's suit.

Sir Guy he was lodged in the Compter, Her pa, in a rage, Died (don't know his age), His daughter, she married the prompter, Grew bulky and quitted the stage.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

KING BORRIA BUNGALEE BOO.

King Borria Bungalee Boo Was a man-eating African swell; His sigh was a hullaballoo, His whisper a horrible yell-- A horrible, horrible yell!

Four subjects, and all of them male, To Borria doubled the knee, They were once on a far larger scale, But he'd eaten the balance, you see ("Scale" and "balance" is punning, you see.)

There was haughty Pish-Tush-Pooh-Bah, There was lumbering Doodle-Dum-Deh, Despairing Alack-a-Dey-Ah, And good little Tootle-Tum-Teh-- Exemplary Tootle-Tum-Teh.

One day there was grief in the crew, For they hadn't a morsel of meat, And Borria Bungalee Boo Was dying for something to eat-- "Come provide me with something to eat!"

"Alack-a-Dey, famished I feel; Oh, good little Tootle-Tum-Teh, Where on earth shall I look for a meal?

For I haven't no dinner to-day!-- Not a morsel of dinner to-day!

"Dear Tootle-Tum, what shall we do?

Come, get us a meal, or in truth, If you don't we shall have to eat you, Oh, adorable friend of our youth!

Thou beloved little friend of our youth!"

And he answered, "Oh Bungalee Boo, For a moment I hope you will wait-- Tippy-Wippity Tol-the-Rol-Loo Is the queen of a neighboring state-- A remarkably neighboring state.

"Tippy-Wippity Tol-the-Rol-Loo, She would pickle deliciously cold-- And her four pretty Amazons, too, Are enticing, and not very old-- Twenty-seven is not very old.

"There is neat little t.i.tty-Fol-Leh, There is rollicking Tral-the-Ral-Lah, There is jocular Waggety-Weh.

There is musical Doh-Reh-Mi-Fah-- There's the nightingale Doh-Reh-Mi-Fah!"

So the forces of Bungalee Boo Marched forth in a terrible row, And the ladies who fought for Queen Loo Prepared to encounter the foe-- This dreadful insatiate foe!

But they sharpened no weapons at all, And they poisoned no arrows--not they!

They made ready to conquer or fall In a totally different way-- An entirely different way.

With a crimson and pearly-white dye They endeavored to make themselves fair, With black they encircled each eye, And with yellow they painted their hair (It was wool, but they thought it was hair).

And the forces they met in the field-- And the men of King Borria said, "Amazonians, immediately yield!"

And their arrows they drew to the head, Yes, drew them right up to the head.

But jocular Waggety-Weh, Ogled Doodle-Dum-Deh (which was wrong) And neat little t.i.tty-Fol-Leh, Said, "Tootle-Tum, you go along!

You naughty old dear, go along!"

And rollicking Tral-the-Ral-Lah Tapped Alack-a-Dey-Ah with her fan; And musical Doh-Reh-Mi-Fah, Said "Pish, go away, you bad man!

Go away, you delightful young man!"

And the Amazons simpered and sighed, And they ogled, and giggled, and flushed, And they opened their pretty eyes wide, And they chuckled, and flirted, and blushed (At least, if they could, they'd have blushed).

But haughty Pish-Tush-Pooh-Bah Said, "Alack-a-Dey, what does this mean?"

And despairing Alack-a-Dey-Ah Said, "They think us uncommonly green, Ha! ha! most uncommonly green!"

Even blundering Doodle-Dum-Deh Was insensible quite to their leers And said good little Tootle-Tum-Teh, "It's your blood we desire, pretty dears-- We have come for our dinners, my dears!"

And the Queen of the Amazons fell To Borria Bungalee Boo, In a mouthful he gulped, with a yell, Tippy-Wippity Tol-the-Rol-Loo-- The pretty Queen Tol-the-Rol-Loo.

And neat little t.i.tty-Fol-Leh Was eaten by Pish-Pooh-Bah, And light-hearted Waggety-Weh By dismal Alack-a-Deh-Ah-- Despairing Alack-a-Deh-Ah.

And rollicking Tral-the-Ral-Lah Was eaten by Doodle-Dum-Deh, And musical Doh-Reh-Mi-Fah By good little Tootle-Tum-Teh-- Exemplary Tootle-Tum-Teh!

THE TROUBADOUR.

A troubadour he played Without a castle wall, Within, a hapless maid Responded to his call.

"Oh, willow, woe is me!

Alack and well-a-day!

If I were only free I'd hie me far away!"

Unknown her face and name, But this he knew right well, The maiden's wailing came From out a dungeon cell.

A hapless woman lay Within that dungeon grim-- That fact, I've heard him say.

Was quite enough for him.

"I will not sit or lie, Or eat or drink, I vow.

Till thou art free as I, Or I as pent as thou."

Her tears then ceased to flow, Her wails no longer rang, And tuneful in her woe The prisoned maiden sang: