"I came here to tell her."

"Why?"

"So we could be together."

"You didn't want to be with me," she said feeling her weight sinking in his grasp.

"Lexi, I've wanted to tell you for so long."

"That she's a virgin."

"No. That I love you."

Lexi's head snapped up. "You what?"

"You've known that for a long time. You say it to me all the time with your eyes. I came here to straighten things out with Kate. To make things right for us."

"Did you say you love me?"

"Lexi you know I do."

"No, no I don't," she said pulling herself away from him and slamming into her car door.

"You're just lying to me."

"I'd never lie to you again. I've told you that so many times. Just let me straighten things out so we can work this out."

"I don't want to work it out," she said numbly staring at him. She was still shell shocked and saying the first thing that came to her mind. How could he say those things to her? After everything he said only a couple hours ago about wanting to be with Kate, and having no desire to let her know about what happened, how did he expect her to react? Did he think she was just going to roll over for him? She had made a decision in that coffee shop with Clark and she was going to stick by it. He couldn't just come in here with his sweet talk and think everything would just go back to normal. He wanted her now, maybe, but that wasn't good enough. He had to want her all the time. He had to need her. He had to put her first. If he loved her, that's what he would have done from the beginning. But Jack had never put anyone first in his life. "I want to be with Clark. He wants to take me back."

The look on Jack's face hurt more than Lexi ever thought would be possible. "Fine. Go be miserable with your little lap dog. Forget what I said. Just forget it," he said turning away from her pushing aside the lone tear that had managed to seep out of his eye. "Forget it all."

But she would never forget.

K.A. Linde Interview with the Mistress Pt II Lying here on the couch With my heart in my mouth I realize you were right, I was wrong and I'm in pieces and bits but that's nothing you can't fix Cause baby you're still my addiction - O-Town "Craving"

Chapter 15: Present.

Finding a town car pull up in front of Ramsey's place the next morning with breakfast and coffee wasn't exactly the type of hospitality Lexi had been expecting to receive from Bekah. When they had last parted it hadn't exactly been on good terms. So far, everything had officially gone completely opposite of how she had planned. All she had wanted to do was tell Bekah her story and get over Jack. Instead, she had stayed at his house, nearly been seduced, met Bekah's entire family, started a near brawl with the girl, made out with her brother, and went on a date with him. None of these things had fit into the master plan. By now she was supposed to be sitting on the back porch of her parents' house sipping on a margarita and enjoying the remaining week at home. Instead she found herself being whisked off to some boutique to go shopping for Jack's birthday party. A birthday party that not only did she have a date for, but it was with the aforementioned brother.

She sighed and took a long sip of the black coffee hoping the caffeine buzz would addle her brain back to its proper mode of functioning. If she could get out of this situation sooner rather than later that would be better for her rattled nerves. The only problem was she wasn't sure what to tell Bekah.

Things with Jack had never been simple enough to put a label on.

For some reason everything had to be explicitly complicated when it came to Jack. If they had just dated and got bored with each other like normal couples, then maybe she could just go to Bekah and tell her a very simple story. But under the circumstances, Lexi thought it did their relationship a disservice to reduce it to such simplicity.

How she felt about Jack crossed lines that she wasn't sure how many other people had ever experienced. The way he looked at her and touched her and just seemed to understand her made the whole scenario much more difficult to explain.

And it's not like she could tell Bekah the entire story. No one had ever heard the entire story. She was all but certain that Jack hadn't confessed anything. After all, he hadn't even mentioned a word about Lexi to this girl he had been dating for nearly two years. No way was he going to tell anyone else about New York. And Lexi never had the heart to reveal all the details to anyone else.

So that just left her back at square one. What should she tell Bekah?

What to tell Bekah did seem to be the biggest issue at hand. One, that at the present moment, she would just have to play by ear. If Bekah dug too deep into the past, she could always close off conversation. If she played it safe and just stuck to the briefest of details, and things somehow relevant to the inane reason she had flown her down here, then perhaps they could work things out.

Lexi had expected to pull up in front of some swank boutique. To her surprise Phipp's Plaza appeared before her eyes. The mall parking lot was already swarming with expensive cars bustling to feed their owner's shopping desires. Lexi hadn't been inside since high school and the only reason she hadn't returned was because she hadn't been able to spend a dime in the place. It wasn't a Manhattan boutique, but it wasn't like Lexi could afford this either.

She pushed her bangs off her forehead as she entered through the overly air conditioned sliding doors. The stench of wealth that had permeated the parking lot didn't end upon entering the building. She felt out of place in her loose fit purple tank and running shorts compared to all the fake princesses clicking along the marble in their four inch Manolos and swishing their tiny butts in professional garb.

When Lexi had received the message from Bekah, she had just been about to go out on a morning run. Thus she hadn't had much time to do anything but throw her hair into a slicked back ponytail and add the tiniest bit of lip gloss to her swollen lips. Bekah probably wasn't going to approve of her choice, but there wasn't anything she could do about it. She hadn't let Chyna persuade her into five hundred dollar t-shirt, and that was her best friend. No way was she going to let this be any different. Lexi dealt with high end, wealthy people every day of her life. She was almost certain that there was nothing Bekah could send her way that would throw her off track.

Bekah's nose turned up ever so slightly as she watched Lexi approach the entrance to Jimmy Choo. She placed a fantastic pair of brown leather boots back on the stand and sauntered up to the tiny girl. Bekah had never been one to put much effort into her appearance. She had always been the beautiful Southern Belle with long flowing blonde hair, baby blue eyes, and a clear complexion. She always stood out from the crowd and the wealth her parents bestowed her only helped with her wonderful wardrobe.

Under differing circumstances she could see why Jack had thought she would get along with Lexi. She had the same no theatrics beauty, and carried herself as if she owned the world. She looked just as beautiful if not more so than any of the other women who spent millions every year trying to achieve the flawlessness that came to these two women naturally. But Bekah couldn't like her. She wanted to. After all she would only be here for a week. Jack wanted them to get along. Ramsey seemed to like her. Well that wasn't a real reason for her to like Lexi. Usually she was disgusted in Ramsey's choices in females. But that wasn't really his fault. This girl obviously had charm.

She could twist a smile. She could tease with her eyes. She could beckon with the curve of her hips and the flick of her tongue upon her lips. Even the stupid habit she was doing right then where she pushed her delicate brown locks behind her ears was in some way charming.

Bekah just felt out done. It was a strange feeling, and this little shopping adventure was what she needed to get back her footing. She needed to remind this girl and herself exactly who she was. Bekah Bridges did not stand down or get flustered over some little girl.

"Lexi how wonderful to see you," Bekah trilled giving her a quick hug.

Lexi was momentarily caught off guard by Bekah's continued hospitality. This girl really was an enigma. One moment she was a snotty nosed bitch out for her life, and the next she was all happy-go-lucky girl next door. What was scarier was that Lexi didn't know how to predict her actions. Was it something that Jack had said that forced this woman to play nice with her today? Did Jack even know that they were out together again? Lexi hadn't bothered to call him again after their rendezvous at Ramsey's and then their texting conversation last night. She knew she would have to speak with him eventually since she had so much to figure out. She just didn't know how much of him she could handle just yet. He acted as if everything was fine and there was nothing between them, but then there were moments...shining moments where he was her Jack all over again. And she knew in those moments, he would take her as he always had. He would somehow work his magic on her and make her remember just what it was like to be with him. That was when she needed to be on guard the most. She had to get closure. Wasn't that what all this was about? Wasn't she talking to Bekah and dealing with Jack supposed to be about?

Her thoughts seemed to press in at her temples, and she forced a smile onto her face as the pain continued to crush in on her. She didn't want to think about that right now. She'd been able to forget for just the briefest of moments about Jack while she had been with Ramsey. That had been her break. Now she needed to get back to reality and fight out this battle so she could move on with her life.

"Good to see you too," she said pulling away from the embrace. "So what are we up to?"

"You'll never believe it," Bekah began ushering her away from Jimmy Choo. A slight glint in her eye remained as she passed the high heeled boots she had just been holding.

"What?" Lexi asked feigning interest.

"I had this gorgeous one-of-a-kind handmade Vera shipped to me last week for Jack's big day. Well my seamstress got a hold of it to do some last minute repairs and just destroyed it." The look on Bekah's face was pure destruction. "I've never fired anyone so fast, and she's been working for my family for years. You can't just go and ruin a brand new dress. I've no idea what she was thinking, but there was no way to salvage it and still have the desired effect."

"So you need a new dress."

"As do you," Bekah told her angling her body to direct them into Barney's.

"Oh, no I don't think so. I can't afford..."

"Money isn't an option," Bekah said the twinkle in her eye replaced by something else...a bit more mischievous.

"I'd never be able to repay you so I simply cannot accept anything, but I'd be happy to help you find something," Lexi said not wanting to ever be in debt to this woman or anyone else other than the Federal government for her student loans.

"I'll take answers to my questions as payment. How does that sound?" Bekah asked.

It sounded wonderful actually. She didn't have anything to wear to something as fancy as Bekah and Ramsey made this event out to be and she simply couldn't afford anything. But she could not let Bekah pay for her. There was more to that acceptance than Lexi was willing to succumb to. "I don't think so," she said uncertainly.

"Well let's just talk and if we find something then that was payment and if not then you're just fine. Is that better?"

Lexi chewed on her bottom lip not wanting to give into her. She tucked a lock behind her right ear and fidgeted outside of the department store. "Fine, but I doubt I'll find anything."

"Great!" Bekah exclaimed linking her arm through Lexi's and pulling into the store.

They were immediately greeted by a tall leggy associate with maroon hair and heavy makeup. She couldn't have been over thirty years old, but somehow with all the caked on layers she appeared older. "Miss Bridges, what a great surprise to see you in the store today," the woman said standing demurely before the perfume counter.

"Well thank you Katherine. My friend and I need something spectacular for Jack's big event tomorrow. Can you try to keep us away from the racks?" she asked smiling sweetly.

"Oh I think I know exactly what you mean," she said nodding and rushing towards the women's department. Lexi could tell she was excited that they had indeed come in that day since she was pretty sure everyone in this store worked on commission. Selling them two dresses for an obscene amount of money not mention anything else Bekah set her heart's desire on could keep her afloat for several months.

As Katherine bustled around the back of the store Lexi and Bekah got comfortable seated in the fitting area. Lexi didn't really know where to go next. Bekah had tried to make the conversation light and civil last time, and that hadn't worked. They both kept getting jealous and unintentionally saying things that made the other belligerent. She just needed to get through this. Lexi hoped that if she just answered the questions truthfully without any hindsight Bekah could then make up her own mind about Jack's past discretions. Lexi didn't necessarily feel the need to lead Bekah one way or another about Jack. His actions should speak for themselves. If Bekah still felt for Jack after the conversation and that he was worth her time, then that was her decision.

"So...uh...where to begin?" Lexi asked fiddling with her thumbs.

"Can you just calm down please?" Bekah asked sipping on some hot tea that appeared before them by another associate. Lexi smiled trying to sweep away her worries. She really did need to calm down. Anything negative that could come out of this exchange wouldn't be reflected back onto her.

"Yeah alright." She didn't sound all that convincing though.

"So can I just start it off then?" Bekah asked setting her tea down on a saucer and leaning back into the green cushion. Before waiting for an answer, she began, "Do you love him?"

Lexi sat and just stared at Bekah. That question hadn't been asked in the past tense. She gulped hard and fully contemplated her answer. On one side, yes of course she loved it. She loved him so much it hurt to breath. It hurt to think. It hurt to get up every morning without him. But on the other hand, she didn't know if what they had had ever truly been love. When he said that he loved her did he mean it? How could she actually know when they had never been afforded the opportunity to fully appreciate what they had?

"I believe a part of me has always and will always love Jack. Yes," she finally stated in a strangled whisper. She hated so much admitting that especially to his beautiful, perfect girlfriend. Yes, she was in love with Jack. No matter that they hadn't been together. No matter that he had left her without a backwards glance without a single act of desperation on his part. She did love him. But something about the feeling had changed and evolved over time. So that it wasn't really the same question or the same answer Lexi could give had she been asked the same question two years ago.

"Well I'm glad that's out of the way," Bekah said blowing out the breath she had apparently been holding. "I was afraid we wouldn't have anything in common.

Lexi giggled despite herself. What a strange thing for her to say.

"Now that that's all out in the open, can we just try and talk about your relationship with Jack. I just want the facts. I just want to know why you guys didn't work out if you actually do love him, and I truly want to find out if I'm actually what he's looking for." Her eyes had enlarged at the last statement and Lexi could tell inadequacy wasn't something she was used to dealing with. So then at least that put them to having two things in common. Jack tended to make everyone feel inadequate.

"Can I just ask you something?" Lexi questioned Bekah.

Bekah raised one eye skeptically then nodded. "Sure, I guess it's only fair."

"Why would you want to talk to me? I mean, why would you want to talk to any of us? Danielle and Kate and I have all had intimate relationships with Jack. Relationships with him that you will never really understand, because every relationship is in some way different than what you are experiencing. And while you could probably pick up on a pattern of some sort, and coming from an insider's perspective, I really don't think there is one. I've known Jack for a long time, and he's pretty much been the same guy since I've known him. He's had his ups and downs like everyone, but he's pretty much the same. I just...well I don't know why you would want to open up that can of worms," Lexi said spewing out everything in rapid succession.

"I disagree," Bekah said folding her hands one over another, "I think there is a pattern."

"And what's that?"

"Well I'm not certain just yet, but there's really only been one constant throughout his relationships. I didn't see it when I first started asking questions or even when I talked to Jack about it."

"But you see it now?"

"Well, I think you are the pattern."

Lexi mouth dropped. Was she the pattern? No, that had to be ridiculous. Sure she had been around for awhile, but she wasn't the sole reason that Jack had obtained a phobia to commitment. "Me?" she asked incredulously.

"Well that's why I wanted to talk to you. I feel that somewhere in this past of his, Jack has always had rather strong affections for you. I noticed it when ya'll look at each other, when he spoke to you, when you kissed my brother," she said. "But I also could tell when I talked to ya'll separately. He would get this look on his face. You would get very defensive. It was just little things that I saw was out of the ordinary for him," she explained. "Now if something is still going on, then I'd like to know about it. If not, then honestly I just want you guys to tell me that it's over so that he can move on."

Closure. It always came back to closure. If she was the missing link that explained why Jack couldn't seem to commit to anyone, then how could they ever come to closure? She wasn't entirely sure how to respond to Bekah's accusation. A part of her said that she needed to resist the knowledge that she was his reason for not being with anyone else. That would just open up a whole other can of worms that she wasn't sure if she was quite capable of dealing with. She couldn't imagine Jack confessing all of his deep seated issues were actually solved by her. Had that been the case, they would have fixed everything for better or worse a long time ago.

Before Lexi had a chance to respond, Katherine returned from the back room with two full racks of clothes specifically catered to each individual. They wasted away the afternoon fluttering from one designer to another and discussing the tragic outcome of Lexi's relationship with Jack. She hadn't been able to reveal all of the details as she originally had anticipated, but Lexi was pretty certain that Bekah had gotten enough information out of her that it would sate her desire for the time being. What she did with the information was an entirely different story. Lexi hadn't gotten a single clue as to whether or not what she was providing Bekah with was helping or hurting Bekah's understanding of Jack.

Inevitably she did end up leaving the mall with a single black dress cover from Barney's. Katherine had been exceedingly accurate with Lexi's size and without even realizing it, Lexi had found the perfect dress. And just as luck turned out it was also the most expensive dress she had ever had the luxury of trying on her tiny frame. She had gulped at the infinite number of zeros attached to the tiny piece of paper and wondered faintly why God hated her. However, true to her word Bekah had retrieved a black credit card from her Louis Vuitton bag and handed it to Katherine paying in full for everything surrounding them. Apparently she had answered enough questions correctly to deliver payment for her time.

As she made her way towards the mall entrance, where Bekah informed her that the same town car was awaiting her, she felt strangely at ease. One of reasons she had come to Atlanta again had been successfully fulfilled. No longer would she have to agonize about Bekah, and her potentially deviant plots to get her to confess everything. Lexi hadn't told her everything, but she had disclosed enough to keep her appetite sated.

Just as Lexi was almost out of the mall, Bekah stopped her in place. "Oh let's just have a peek," she exclaimed her eyes shifting to her right.

Lexi's stomach dropped as the store front registered in her conscious. Tiffany's. Bekah had directed her straight to the entrance of Tiffany's. Now suffice it to say that jewelry stores made Lexi nervous. She'd never been able to put her finger on it, but something about the inside of them made her skin crawl. Her skin would break out into a cold sweat and she couldn't help but chew on her lips from nerves. And Tiffany's with their impossible price tags and obnoxious little blue boxes just was the worst of all. She couldn't go in there.

"I really can't..." she stammered.

"Oh come on. We don't have to get anything. Just a quick look," Bekah said her smile bright and vibrant at the prospect. She grabbed a hold of Lexi's elbow and hauled her through the well lit storefront. Bekah's eyes barely focused on the stunning collections before her. She ignored the eager looks from the sales associates as she dragged Lexi to the counter she zeroed in on. Lexi felt as if she had just hit the top a rollercoaster ride and her stomach was on auto-pilot down the metallic runway.

Engagement rings clouded her vision. Perfectly cut, perfectly designed, flawless engagement rings on display shining brilliantly in the light. Lexi's hands were shaking as she reached out to touch the glass for support. This was not good. She could not be here with Bekah. It was all fine and dandy when they were shopping for dresses and exchanging information, but this...this was entirely different. She couldn't imagine one of these beautiful stones on Bekah's ring finger securing her to the man she loved...to the man Lexi loved. Her gag reflex was threatening to take over her as she swiped a thin layer of sweat from her brow.

"Aren't they gorgeous?" Bekah cooed her extra thick blond hair framing her face as her eyes ballooned at the prospect of owning such a rock.

"They're...they're something," Lexi mumbled coughing into her wrist.

"I'd love this one," she said pointing to a large princess cut diamond set on a thin white gold band.

"Would you like to try it on?" the sales associate asked materializing out of thing air with a set of keys. He undid the lock and procured the ring from its home before she even had an option of declining.

"Oh dear," Bekah exclaimed taking the ring and sliding it onto her ring finger. To Lexi's pleasant surprise it was much too large. It would have to be downsized considerably to even look remotely good on her finger. Regardless, the diamond still shone true and her French manicured hands only increased the beauty and perfect that was now placed on her hand. "Well that won't do quite yet then," Bekah conceded handing the ring back to the associate. "Next time perhaps," she added winking.

"I think...I should go," Lexi said retreating.