K.A. Linde Can't Take It Back Damn, ain't it crazy When you're loveswept You'll do anything for the one you love 'Cause anytime that you needed me I'd be there It's like you were my favorite drug -Rihanna "Rehab"

Chapter 10: May Three Years Earlier.

Lexi crept back into the beach house just before sunrise. Her and Jack had sat together all night peacefully enjoying each other's company. Their attempt at a pleasant friendship had been mildly successful. Lexi was just glad that they had resisted kissing again. She was pretty sure they had gone over the line that was normally reserved for friends. But it was so incredibly mild and tame compared to their normal impulsive demeanor, neither of them had complained. She had given Jack a long hug at the base of the stairs. Both were staying on the cautious side, and didn't want to be caught together like that in the house. She checked to see that the coast was clear and then slunk across the den and into the bedroom. Being extra careful not to wake Sandy up, Lexi gently twisted the handle and secured it into place. When she turned around, she realized all efforts were futile. Sandy wasn't there.

Lexi's heart beat in a panic. If Sandy wasn't there, then that meant that she knew that Lexi hadn't been in bed. She could feel herself beginning to hyperventilate in terror. Sandy would tell everyone that she hadn't been in bed. Lexi had no idea what to do. She couldn't risk everyone finding out that she had been gone.

Quickly changing clothes, she lay down on the empty bed, and contemplated her options. She could rush out of bed now and start making breakfast or something. However, she wasn't sure at what point Sandy had left last night and it might make her look even more conspicuous. She figured she could go find Clark, and snuggle with him. That would cover her tracks if Sandy came back, but would hardly explain anything if Sandy had snuck out earlier in the evening. And anyway, after staying up all night with Jack, she hardly wanted to see her boyfriend. They hadn't done anything wrong...well after they had talked it out they hadn't. But either way, she wasn't quite ready to wash the familiar scent off of her skin or erase the memories of their night together just yet.

So she was fresh out of options. Just as she was about to give up, the door burst open and Sandy sauntered in looking all too pleased with herself. When she noticed that the room wasn't empty, she gasped dramatically and swung the door closed behind her.

"When did you get back?" she asked hesitantly fear evident in her face.

Lexi wasn't sure why she looked so terrified. Lexi was the one who was out at all hours of the night doing things that she didn't want anyone to know about. Why would Sandy be so scared? "What time is it?" Lexi asked stalling.

"Please don't tell anyone I was out," Sandy squealed rushing to the bed and sitting heavily on the quilt comforter. "Oh God, please don't tell anyone." She looked to be about to go into hysterics. "I didn't expect you to be back this morning."

Now Lexi was really confused. Where had she been? Why was she so frantic about people finding out? Luckily, this gave Lexi an out from being confronted about why she had been out all night. "Where were you?" she questioned Sandy trying to compose her features.

"Okay, I'll tell you, but promise you won't say anything," she demanded grabbing for Lexi's hands as tears became to well in her eyes.

"Sure I promise." Lexi was just damn curious.

"Okay. Okay," Sandy said taking her hands back and brushing at her eyes. Obviously, she took some comfort in the fact that Lexi wouldn't say anything. Her hysterics abated, she began speaking. "Well I woke up when you left. I knew immediately where you were going."

Lexi tried to keep her face neutral, but couldn't help her look of surprise. "Where was that?"

"Obviously you were going to Clark's room," Sandy said making the most girly giggle Lexi had ever heard.

"Oh." Lexi breathed out a sigh of relief. Of course that was where this girl would think she had been. Most sane women would have gone to see their boyfriend in the middle of the night while they were on vacation. That would have been the logical thing to do. She scolded herself.

"Don't worry," Sandy said conspiratorially, "I won't let anyone know that you guys were up all night."

Oh God, Lexi didn't know it was possible to feel this bad. This little innocent girl was being so kind to her, and reminding her that she had a loving boyfriend only a floor above her. Lexi bit her lip to the point of pain and then began to push her hair behind her ear. She did not want to cry right now. But Clark was so damn smart. He would know. He would see Jack all over her. He'd be able to piece everything together and realize what had really gone on last night. She stared wide-eyed at Sandy in terror. This was going to be one long vacation.

"But when I saw you were gone, I snuck upstairs to the master bedroom." So maybe she wasn't all that innocent. Lexi nodded along anyway. Really, she should have figured as much. The two had been all over each other since they had arrived. "Well Seth was very persuasive, and I...well...I stayed most of the night. I didn't sleep much though," Sandy said feeling as if she were confiding in a friend. "I know you and Clark are together, but have you and Seth ever?"

Lexi quickly shook her head no. There was no way in hell. Seth was such a pig. Her terror temporarily subsided she answered. "No. No. No. No. No."

"Oh well, you should maybe give it a try. He's...wow...amazing."

Lexi had never been a take-a-guy-out-for-a-spin type of girl. Actually, that kind of made her nauseous. "Yeah I don't think so."

"More for me then," she said contentedly. "He just made me swear not to tell anyone. It's our little secret. So if you could just keep it between us that would be great."

Lexi smiled at the girl. Not innocent...no, but naive. Obviously Seth wouldn't want Sandy to tell everyone that they were sleeping together. That way he could sleep with the other two girls he had brought with them without any of them knowing about it. How did Sandy not see that? Lexi didn't really care to find out. As long as they were both under the impression that they were keeping each other's secrets that would work out just fine for her.

She was exhausted, but still she was unable to let sleep take over her long enough to really help her out any. Tumbling noises from upstairs informed her that the guys had woken up. From that point on, it was going to be impossible to sleep. Lexi grabbed her Vera Bradley toiletry bag and hobbled into the empty bathroom. She gasped when she saw her reflection in the mirror. No wonder Sandy had thought she had been up all night doing the nasty. She was a wreck.

Her hair was tangled and windblown from a night on the beach. Her cheeks were plump and rosy; her lips cracked and chapping. Two large circles had formed under her bloodshot eyes from sleep deprivation. Luckily, Sandy hadn't noticed the sand covering her body or else she might have asked more questions. Despite physical exhaustion and renewed fear that Clark would notice a difference in her, she was ready to start the day. She was ready to see Jack again.

After a shower, Lexi figured she at least looked presentable, and was ready for some breakfast. As she exited the room and began to climb the stairs to search for something to eat, the smell hit her. Pancakes.

She turned the corner and found Clark already in the middle of whipping up a fresh batch. Smiling brightly as she entered the room, she walked up to him and grasped him around the middle.

"Well good morning to you too," he said leaning down and giving her a kiss. "You look fresh this morning."

She blushed. "Thank you, dear."

"Go have a seat, and I'll get you some pancakes. Orange juice, yes?"

"Uh...yeah. Sounds great," she said turning away from him. Her gaze rested on the breakfast bar that she hadn't noticed the first time around. When she recognized who was sitting there looking smug, her cheeks reddened further.

"Mornin'," Jack said tilting his head at her as a welcome. She watched as he poured an exorbitant amount of maple syrup on his pancakes.

"Good morning to you," she said cheerfully, taking the seat next to him and glancing back up at Clark. After pouring several pancakes onto the griddle, he turned around and was staring at her intently.

"Sleep well?" Jack asked between mouthfuls of the oozing goodness.

Lexi leaned back in the chair and prayed she didn't blush. "Sure," she said unable to keep a mischievous smile from creeping onto her face. "You?"

"Nah. Slept like shit. That couch is full of lumps. Feels more like sand," he told her forcing down another bite, but still not looking up at her.

Clark looked between the two, and seemed genuinely pleased that they were having normal conversation. Every other time they were in a room together, Lexi was fleeing the premises or they were locked in a tight, spitfire conversation for several minutes then Jack would storm off. It wasn't pretty. He was happy that perhaps his discussion with Lexi yesterday had paid off. Maybe they were finally going to be able to just relax around each other.

"Man, that's because it probably is full of sand. Think about how many times people sit on that couch after coming in from the beach," Clark said shaking his head.

A brief knowing look passed between Jack and Lexi. She tried to hide her delight at Jack's playful comments. It felt nice being able to discuss their night together without anyone...even Clark really knowing what they were talking about. To anyone else, all the comments Jack just made would seem completely neutral. It was exhilarating.

"You're probably right," Jack agreed scraping the last remnants of his breakfast from his plate. "I probably should have thought about that before I let it keep me up all night."

Lexi accepted the plate of pancakes and orange juice from Clark, and tried not to look anymore impish than usual. Just as she began to dig into her plate, Kate walked in.

While they had been up all night, they had confided in each other about their relationships; the ups and downs about being with their significant others. At first, Lexi had found it strange to discuss these things with someone who had been feverishly kissing her only minutes before, but after they began their discussion, neither could seem to stop. It was refreshing to be able to speak with someone so openly about your relationship, knowing that they didn't mind...actually reveled in the bad qualities that were mentioned.

Lexi had found out that Jack and Kate met through a mutual friend of theirs. She was pretty much everything you expected out of a cheerleader prom queen type: average height with stick straight naturally blonde hair to her shoulders, large baby blue eyes, and a toned build with a killer tan. She wore her emotions on her sleeve, and her bubbly personality only intensified that aspect of her character. The silver spoon she'd been fed on since birth made her have a predisposition for expensive name brand clothing, acrylic French manicures, fake n bake tanning, and ultra bright highlights. The only things keeping her from being a snotty brat was the fact that her parents were extremely religious. At least in the respect, she had been humbled from her high horse. The faith had remained with her all through college. No matter what had gone on Saturday night, Kate could be found every Sunday morning sitting in a pew...confessing her sins.

Despite the fact that Jack wasn't on a sports team for the school like her three previous boyfriends, his natural charm won her over. She liked his music and adventurous nature even though she wasn't a big fan of the big wide open outdoors herself. She had been hooked after the first date. He had taken to her to the nicest restaurant in town for a candle lit dinner with wine pairings, roses, and everything. The whole shebang. Afterwards, they traversed a moonlit path around the campus gardens. When he had described it to Lexi, she couldn't help thinking that it was far removed from a simple carnival ride.

They had started talking just after Lexi stopped returning his calls, and had been dating for over a year and a half now. Just as the saying goes the best way to forget the last is to move onto the next.

Kate sidled up to Jack in her bright yellow bikini and broad-rimmed floppy sun hat. Lexi watched as she kissed him briefly on the lips, and then hooked her leg up onto his lap and swung herself up on top of him.

"Are you ready to go to the beach yet?" she asked wide-eyed.

"Just about," he said circling his arms around her waist and leaning his head against her shoulder. "I could use about five more hours of sleep. You interested?"

"You didn't sleep?" she asked.

"He slept on sand all night," Lexi said taking a long sip of orange juice.

Kate jumped as if just realizing that they weren't alone. "You were on the beach?"

Jack flicked his gaze over towards Lexi in warning. Lexi just continued eating. She knew that she wasn't that great of a liar. She couldn't word things like Jack could. He could manipulate his language so that no one would be able to tell anything was different.

"No, I was telling Lex and Clark that the den couch feels like it's full of sand."

"Oh, gross. You know that I'd come and share with you to make it more enjoyable, but I just cannot sleep on a couch," she said flicking her hair over shoulder. Every time she moved it just bounced back in front. "Well, you need to go change so we can get our asses on the beach," she said sliding off of his lap and tugging him out of the kitchen.

Lexi skimmed her eyes across the departing couple. Her stomach twisted at the sight of Jack's arm hanging loosely around Kate's waist...well a little lower than her waist. She really wanted things to work out so that she would be able to be around Jack more often, but so far she wasn't all the certain they could stay like this. She couldn't adjust the way she felt about him. But she knew that she'd have to at least try for Clark's sake.

"You two seemed to be getting along better," Clark said flipping a pancake over.

Lexi shrugged. "I guess," she said nonchalantly. "I'm going to go change for the beach. Thanks for breakfast." She hopped off her chair, kissed him on the cheek, and then rushed out of the room before she could give herself away.

The next few days passed in a similar fashion. The group would spend a fun filled day at the beach hanging out in the ocean, playing volleyball and Frisbee, and a whole hell of a lot of sun bathing. Each night after everyone passed out from physical exhaustion, Lexi would crawl out of bed and into the den. She would shake Jack from his slumber if need be, and they would slink down to the beach to spend the remaining hours until daybreak together. The next morning, they would wake up at the crack of dawn eager to be in each other's presence. She had resorted to afternoon naps on the beach to keep herself going during the day. Clark couldn't figure out why she was so tired all the time, but she continually blamed it on the sheer amount of alcohol she had consumed coupled with the sun's heated rays.

Lexi was lying back enjoying just such one of those afternoon cat naps when she was jostled awake. She grumbled as her earbuds fell out of place and drifting ocean noises took over for the tunes that had been playing from her iPod.

"Wake up sleepy head," Clark murmured as he sat down on the towel adjacent to her.

She swiped at her eyes and pushed herself up against her elbows. "How long have I been out?" she asked sheepishly.

"A couple hours."

"Where did everyone go?" she asked noticing that at least a few rather pertinent individuals were missing from the group.

"Probably doing to each other what I want to do to you right now," he muttered huskily his voice dipping low.

Lexi gulped. She tried to clear her mind of all thoughts of Jack. She did not want to think about him right now when her boyfriend was suggesting rather appealing options. However, she couldn't help herself. All she could think about was whether or not Jack was with Kate, and what they could be doing up at the beach house almost completely alone.

"You want to go join them up there? I'm sure we can find an empty room in that mansion of a place," he said winking slyly at her.

She giggled half-heartedly her smile not fully reaching her eyes. "Maybe."

Clark moved closer and rested his head in her lap. She wound her fingers through his thick slightly curly black hair. He had let it grow in longer for the beach, and she enjoyed the feel of it knowing it would all be gone before graduation. "I bet I can convince Hunter to take the couch tonight if you want to sleep with me," he offered. "Obviously you're not getting enough sleep."

In that moment, she was glad he couldn't see her face. Guilt creased her features. The last thing she wanted to do was give up one of her last precious nights with Jack. She didn't care how tired she was. They would never have an opportunity like this again, and she was planning on savoring every platonic second of it. "No, it's fine. Don't worry about me. I think I'm just adjusting to the bed finally," she volunteered the information off hand.

"Oh, well I was thinking I could give you some more incentive," he said sitting up and pulling her face into his hands. His mouth covered hers quickly and deliberately. Only earlier that week she had reveled in every kiss. Now that she had tasted Jack again if only briefly, the movement felt robotic and dispassionate. She felt no express desire him in that moment and that knowledge worried her.

She smiled against his lips and pulled back. "I think I'm going to pass. You heard Seth. Thin walls and all. I'd rather not have everyone hearing us, and then talking about it."

His eyes shifted focus. "Since when are you concerned with other people hearing and being self-conscious?"

"I'm not self-conscious," she whined. "I just...don't want everyone to hear."

"You don't want Jack to hear?" he asked pointedly.

"I don't see how that has anything to do with it," she stated her voicing coming out faulty.

"Look Lexi I know you said that you took my words to heart and that you guys are going to be better and all that. But I just have a really bad feeling about all of this," he said honestly.

She quickly took the defensive. "What are you saying Clark? Do you think that I'd do something?"

"No, I didn't say that."

"Then what are you saying?"

"Baby, I trust you." He took her hands in his and looked into her big brown eyes. "I just don't trust him. I don't think if he were given the chance that he'd be able to stay away from you."

"And what, I'm just going to sit by and let this happen?" she asked her defensive anger getting the best of her. She had done just that so many times before.

"I'm not saying that either. Stop putting words in my mouth. I'm not trying to start a fight with you," Clark said calmly. "I just have a bad feeling. I was hoping you would reassure me that my feelings are just misguided judgments of a jealous demented boyfriend," he said looking up at her pleadingly.

"Well, I agree with you at least about Jack. I'm not sure if he's ever been faithful with anyone he's been with. But that's the reason that you shouldn't be concerned," she said feeling the lie start to form on her tongue. "Why would I let him get to me knowing that?" She really wanted the answer to that question.

He just shook his head. "I dunno Lexi, but I hope you're right."

"You know me better than that," she said snuggling closer to him.

"You're right. I do. I love you Lexi."

She gulped. "I love you too."

All throughout dinner Lexi remained aloof and withdrawn from the group. Her conversation with Clark echoed in her ears. She couldn't help wondering if she should tell Clark that Jack had kissed her. But if she did that, then she would have to tell him about going out on the beach with Jack. She would have to explain why she had continued to meet him on the beach after that first night. She wasn't sure that she would be able to do that. Sure they had said they were going to just be friends, but she wasn't an idiot. They wouldn't be sneaking off together every night if they were just friends. After everything that had happened between them, Lexi was pretty certain that they could never just be friends.

"You sure you don't want to join me? I'm sure you would sleep better in my arms," Clark persuaded hugging her tightly around the middle outside of her bedroom.

"Rain check. I'm really beat," she said nuzzling into his arm. She was really tired. That was the true part of the statement. The only problem was she wouldn't be sleeping again for several hours.

"Alright. If you change your mind, you know where I am."

He kissed her once more and then trotted up the stairs. Lexi breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn't pushed her further on the subject. She quickly ambled into her room. This was the worst part about the night. Waiting. For Sandy to either sneak out of the room to visit Seth or pass out. Waiting. For the sounds of Clark and the guys quieted down and subsiding to slumber. Waiting. For the coast to clear.