"The bait in the tin-pot was some lob-worms, which the little boy had collected out of the garden adjoining the field, and they were spilt and scattered about by his fall.

"He picked up as many as he could find, however, and ran off again; but one escaped his notice and was left behind.

"This gentleman was insensible for a few seconds; but as soon as he came to himself, and discovered that he was in a strange place, he began to grumble and find fault.

"'What an uncouth neighbourhood!' Such were his exclamations. 'What rough impracticable roads! Was ever lob-worm so unlucky before!' It was impossible to move an inch without b.u.mping his sides against some piece of uncultivated ground.

"Judge for yourselves, my dears," continued Aunt Judy, pathetically, "what must have been the feelings of the 'SOMETHING' which had lived proudly and happily in the meadow field for so long, on hearing such offensive remarks.

"Its spirit was up in a minute, just as yours would have been, and it did not hesitate to inform the intruder that travellers who find fault with a country before they have taken the trouble to inquire into its merits, are very ignorant and impertinent people.

"This was blow for blow, as you perceive; and the TEAZE-AND-TWIT system was now continued with great animation on both sides.

"The lob-worm inquired, with a conceited wriggle, what could be the merits of a country, where gentlemanly, gliding, thin-skinned creatures like himself were unable to move about without personal annoyance? Whereupon the amiable 'SOMETHING' made no scruple of telling the lob-worm that his BETTERS found no fault with the place, and instanced its friend and admirer the Alderney cow.

"On which the lob-worm affected forgetfulness, and exclaimed, 'Cow?

cow? do I know the creature? Ah! Yes, I recollect now; clumsy legs, h.o.r.n.y feet, and that sort of thing,' proceeding to hint that what was good enough for a cow, might yet not be refined enough for his own more delicate habits.

"'It is my misfortune, perhaps,' concluded he, with mock humility, 'to have been accustomed to higher a.s.sociations; but really, situated as I am here, I could almost feel disposed to--why, positively, to wish myself a cow, with clumsy legs and h.o.r.n.y feet. What one may live to come to, to be sure!'

"Well," Aunt Judy proceeded, "will you believe it, the lob-worm went on boasting till the poor deluded 'SOMETHING' believed every word he said, and at last ventured to ask in what favoured spot he had acquired his superior tastes and knowledge.

"And then, of course, the lob-worm had the opportunity of opening out in a very magnificent bit of brag, and did not fail to do so.

"Travellers can always boast with impunity to stationary folk, and the lob-worm had no conscience about speaking the truth.

So on he chattered, giving the most splendid account of the garden in which he lived. Gorgeous flowers, velvet lawns, polished gravel- walks, along which he was wont to take his early morning stroll, before the ruder creatures of the neighbourhood, such as dogs, cats, &c. were up and about, were all his discourse; and he spoke of them as if they were his own, and told of the nursing and tending of every plant in the lovely spot, as if the gardeners did it all for his convenience and pleasure.

"Of the little accidents to which he and his race have from time immemorial been liable from awkward spades, or those very early birds, by whom he ran a risk of being snapped up every time he emerged out of the velvet lawns for the morning strolls, he said just nothing at all.

"All was unmixed delight (according to his account) in the garden, and having actually boasted himself into good humour with himself, and therefore with everybody else, he concluded by expressing the condescending wish, that the 'SOMETHING' in the field should get itself removed to the garden, to enjoy the life of which he spoke.

"'Undeniably beautiful as you are here,' cried he, 'your beauty will increase a thousand fold, under the gardener's fostering care.

Appreciated as you are now in your rustic life, the most prominent place will be a.s.signed to you when you get into more distinguished society; so that everybody who pa.s.ses by and sees you, will exclaim in delight, 'Behold this exquisite--hm--!'"

"Oh dear, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, "was the 'hum,' as you will call it, so silly as to believe what he said?"

"How could the poor simple-minded thing be expected to resist such elegant compliments, my dear No. 6?" answered Aunt Judy. "But then came the difficulty. The 'SOMETHING' which lived in the field had no more legs than the lob-worm himself, and, in fact, was incapable of locomotion."

"Of course it was!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed No. 5.

"Order!" cried Aunt Judy, and proceeded:-

"So the--hm--hung down its graceful head in despair, but suddenly a bright and loving thought struck it. It could not change its place and rise in life itself, but its children might, and that would be some consolation. It opened its heart on this point to the lob-worm, and although the lob-worm had no heart to be touched, he had still a tongue to talk.

"If the--hm--would send its children to the garden at the first opportunity, he would be delighted, absolutely charmed, to introduce them in the world. He would put them in the way of everything, and see that they were properly attended to. There was nothing he couldn't or wouldn't do.

"This last pretentious brag seemed to have exhausted even the lob- worm's ingenuity, for, soon after he had uttered it, he shuffled away out of the meadow in the best fashion that he could, leaving the 'SOMETHING' in the field in a state of wondering regret. But it recovered its spirits again when the time came for sending its children to the favoured garden abode.

"'My dears,' it said, 'you will soon have to begin life for yourselves, and I hope you will do so with credit to your bringing up. I hope you are now ambitious enough to despise the dull old plan of dropping contentedly down, just where you happen to be, or waiting for some chance traveller (who may never come) to give you a lift elsewhere. That paradise of happiness, of which the lob-worm told us, is close at hand. Come! it only wants a little extra exertion on your part, and you will be carried thither by the wind, as easily as the wandering Dandelion himself. Courage, my dears! nothing out of the common is ever gained without an effort. See now! as soon as ever a strong breeze blows the proper way, I shall shake my heads as hard as ever I can, that you may be off. All the doors and windows are open now, you know, and you must throw yourselves out upon the wind. Only remember one thing, when you are settled down in the beautiful garden, mind you hold up your heads, and do yourselves justice, my dears.'

"The children gave a ready a.s.sent, of course, as proud as possible at the notion; and when the favourable breeze came, and the maternal heads were shaken, out they all flew, and trusted themselves to its guidance, and in a few minutes settled down all over the beautiful garden, some on the beds, some on the lawn, some on the polished gravel-walks. And all I can say is, happiest those who were least seen!"

"Gra.s.s weeds! gra.s.s weeds!" shouted the incorrigible No. 5, jumping up from his seat and performing two or three Dervish-like turns.

"Oh, it's too bad, isn't it, Aunt Judy," cried No. 6, "to stop your story in the middle?"

Whereupon Aunt Judy answered that he had not stopped the story in the middle, but at the end, and she was glad he had found out the meaning of her--HM--!

But No. 6 would not be satisfied, she liked to hear the complete finish up of everything. "Did the 'HUM'S' children ever grow up in the garden, and did they ever see the lob-worm again?"

"The--hm's--children did SPRING up in the garden," answered Aunt Judy, "and did their best to exhibit their beauty on the polished gravel-walks, where they were particularly delighted with their own appearance one May morning after a shower of rain, which had made them more prominent than usual. 'Remember our mother's advice,'

cried they to each other. 'This is the happy moment! Let us hold up our heads, and do ourselves justice, my dears.'

"Scarcely were the words spoken, when a troop of rude creatures came scampering into the walk, and a particularly unfeeling monster in curls, pointed to the beautiful up-standing little--hms--and shouted, 'Aunt Judy, look at these HORRIBLE WEEDS!'

"I needn't say any more," concluded Aunt Judy. "You know how you've used them; you know what you've done to them; you know how you've even wished there were NO SUCH THINGS IN THE WORLD!"

"Oh, Aunt Judy, how capital!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed No. 6, with a sigh, the sigh of exhausted amus.e.m.e.nt.

"'The HUM was a weed too, then, was it?" said No. 8. He did not quite see his way through the tale.

"It was not a weed in the meadow," answered Aunt Judy, "where it was useful, and fed the Alderney cow. It was beautiful Gra.s.s there, and was counted as such, because that was its proper place. But when it put its nose into garden-walks, where it was not wanted, and had no business, then everybody called the beautiful Gra.s.s a weed."

"So a weed is a vegetable out of its place, you see," subjoined No.

5, who felt the idea to be half his own, "and it won't do to wish there were none in the world."

"And a vegetable out of its place being nothing better than a weed, Mr. No. 5," added Aunt Judy, "it won't do to be too anxious about what is so often falsely called, bettering your condition in life.

Come, the story is done, and now we'll go home, and all the patient listeners and weeders may reckon upon getting one or more farthings apiece from mamma. And as No. 6's wish is not realized, and there are still weeds {1} in the world, and among them Gra.s.s weeds, _I_ shall hope to have some cream to my tea."

COOK STORIES.

"Down too, down at your own fireside, With the evil tongue and the evil ear, For each is at war with mankind."

TENNYSON'S Maud.

Aunt Judy had gone to the nursery wardrobe to look over some clothes, and the little ones were having a play to themselves. As she opened the door, they were just coming to the end of an explosive burst of laughter, in which all the five appeared to have joined, and which they had some difficulty in stopping. No. 4, who was a biggish girl, had giggled till the tears were running over her cheeks; and No. 8, in sympathy, was leaning back in his tiny chair in a sort of ecstasy of amus.e.m.e.nt.

The five little ones had certainly hit upon some very entertaining game.

They were all (boys and girls alike) dressed up as elderly ladies, with bits of rubbishy finery on their heads and round their shoulders, to imitate caps and scarfs; the boys' hair being neatly parted and brushed down the middle; and they were seated in form round what was called "the Doll's Table," a concern just large enough to allow of a small crockery tea-service, with cups and saucers and little plates, being set out upon it.

"What have you got there?" was all Aunt Judy asked, as she went up to the table to look at them.

"Cowslip-tea," was No. 4's answer, laying her hand on the fat pink tea-pot; and thereupon the laughing explosion went off nearly as loudly as before, though for no accountable reason that Aunt Judy could divine.