"Rights of Man? The Rights of Man!

Who bestowed these rights on you?

Surely 'twas not Mother Nature-- She is ne'er unnatural!

"Rights of Man! Who gave to you All these privileges rare?

Verily it was not Reason-- Ne'er unreasonable she!

"Is it, men, because you roast, Stew or fry or boil your meat, Whilst our own is eaten raw, That you deem yourselves so grand?

"In the end 'tis all the same.

Food alone can ne'er impart Any worth;--none n.o.ble is Save who n.o.bly acts and feels!

"Are you better, human things, Just because success attends All your arts and sciences?

No mere wooden-heads are we!

"Are there not most learned dogs!

Horses, too, that calculate Quite as well as bankers?--Hares Who have skill in beating drums?

"Are not beavers most adroit In the craft of waterworks?

Were not clyster-pipes invented Through the cleverness of storks?

"Do not a.s.ses write critiques?

Do not apes play comedy?

Could there be a greater actress Than Batavia the ape?

"Do the nightingales not sing?

Is not Freiligrath a bard?

Who e'er sang the lion's praise Better than his brother mule?

"In the art of dance have I Gone as far as Raumer quite In the art of letters--can he Scribble better than I dance?

"Why should mortal men be placed O'er us animals? Though high You may lift your heads, yet low In those heads your thoughts do crawl.

"Human wights, why better, pray, Than ourselves? Is it because Smooth and slippery is your skin?

Snakes have that advantage too!

"Human hordes! two-legged snakes!

Well indeed I understand That those flapping pantaloons Must conceal your serpent hides!

"Children, Oh, beware of these Vile and hairless miscreants!

O my daughters, never trust Monsters that wear pantaloons!"

But no further will I tell How this bear with arrogant Fallacies of equal rights Raved against the human race

For I too am man, and never As a man will I repeat All this vile disparagement, Bound to give most grave offence.

Yes, I too am man, am placed O'er the other mammals all!

Shall I sell my birthright?--No!

Nor my interest betray.

Ever faithful unto man, I will fight all other beasts.

I will battle for the high Holy inborn rights of man!

[Ill.u.s.tration]

[Ill.u.s.tration]

CANTO VI

Yet for man who forms the higher Cla.s.s of animals 'twere well That betimes he should discover What the lower thinks of him.

Verily within those drear Strata of the world of brutes, In those lower social layers There is misery, pride and wrath.

Laws which Nature hath decreed, Customs sanctioned long by Time, And for centuries established, They deny with pertest tongue.

Grumbling, there the old instil Evil doctrines in the young, Doctrines which endanger all Human culture on the Earth.

"Children!" grunts our Atta Troll, As he tosses to and fro On his hard and stony couch, "Future time we hold in fee!

"If each bear, each quadruped, Held with me a like ideal, With our whole united force We the tyrant might engage.

"Compact then the boar should make With the horse--the elephant Curve his trunk in comradeship Round the valiant ox's horns.

"Bear and wolf of every shade, Goat and ape, the rabbit, too.

Let them for the common cause Labour--and the world is ours!

"Union! union! is the need Of our times! For singly we Fall as slaves, but joined as one We shall overcome our lords.

"Union! union! Victory!

We shall overthrow the reign Of such tyranny and found One great Kingdom of the Brutes.

"And its first great law shall be For G.o.d's creatures one and all Equal rights--no matter what Be their faith, or hide or smell.

"Strict equality! Each a.s.s May become Prime Minister; On the other hand the lion Shall bear corn unto the mill.

"And the dog? Alas, 'tis true He's a very servile cur, Just because for ages man Like a dog has treated him.

"Yet in our Free State shall he Once again enjoy his rights-- Rights most una.s.sailable-- Thus enn.o.bled be the dog.

"Yea, the very Jews shall win All the rights of citizens, By the law made equal with Every other mammal free.

"One thing only be denied them!

Dancing in the market-place; This amendment I shall make In the interests of my art.

"For they lack all sense of style; All plasticity of limb Lacks that race. Full surely they Would debauch the public taste."