"You could have judged me."

"That's stupid. Why would I do that?"

"'Cause I was an idiot."

"You were young, you didn't want to fail, that's understandable. You're still like that."

She smiled. "I think of it as driven."

"Yeah, to the extreme. You're so worried about failing everyone else that you don't think about yourself."

"Well, aren't you Mr. Know-it-All?" she accused, lifting her head to meet his smiling face.

"You also cover your real feelings with sass. It's pretty funny to watch."

She glared. "Are you teasing me?"

"No, just pointing out the obvious."

"You mean my flaws?"

He scoffed. "Those are not flaws, those are what make you unique, amazing, and beautiful."

Her lips curved as she slowly nodded. "Well, then."

He bit the tip of her nose, and her giggles filled the room. Moving her leg up his, she hooked the other one over his hip as his hand slid up her leg, his eyes boring into hers. "Here's a secret, but don't read into it. I think you're starting to let me in a bit."

She grinned, knowing he was right. "You think?"

"Yeah, I do," he said with a smug grin, leaning back into the pillows as his hand moved up and down her back. "I like it too."

"I bet."

Eyeing her, he shrugged. "Maybe you'll be ready to move in with me soon?"

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Benji..."

"Come on, you know you want to."

"I'm not entertaining that right now," she decided and he laughed, rolling on top of her, falling between her legs before taking her by the ribs. Looking at him with wide eyes, she said, "You tickle me, I'm not in control of what I'll do. I have broken Jayden's nose twice. Keep that in mind, Paxton."

His face twisted in horror. "Twice?"

She nodded. "I don't like to be tickled."

"Jeez," he said, moving his hands up to her bare breasts, his weight welcome against her. "Fine, no tickling. But give me a time frame. What are you thinking?"

"Time frame for what?" she asked, laughing at his expression. He didn't have his contacts in or his glasses on, so he was squinting. Looking adorably dorkish with his hair falling in his eyes. Reaching for his glasses off the nightstand, she put them on his face, and he smiled.

"Thanks, but give me a date, a time when I can bring it up again. Or I swear, I'll ask you every day to move in with me."

"Benjamin, no!"

He paused. "That's hot, the way you say my full name. You should do that more."

"Jesus, you're infuriating!"

"Shh, give me a time frame. A month?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Two months?"

"Benji."

"Three months?"

"I swear, you are impossible. Why are you rushing this? Just let it ride."

"'Cause it's what I do. I rush the goal to score. You are the ultimate goal, and I want to score."

"You just did," she said dryly and he laughed.

"Plus, I'm tired of the expiration date you try to throw on us. I want something to look forward to, something we decide is the next stepping stone."

"Or," she challenged, "we can just let it happen."

He gave her a look. "If we did that, nothing would ever happen."

She considered that and then shrugged. "You could have a point."

"Exactly. No, come on. Three months?"

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head. "Yes. Three months. We will revisit this notion in three months, you crazy."

He nodded, visibly calculating in his head. "So end of February."

"Oh." She paused. "I thought you meant the length of time of us being together."

He liked that better, his eyes lighting up. "So, end of January. I like that."

She tried to act like it didn't give her butterflies or a gushy feeling as she nodded. If they kept on the way they were, she'd be living with Benji when she came back from Florida. Maybe he'd want to come? "I'm actually going to Florida to do the design for Shea and Elli. Maybe you'd want to go with us if you aren't in the All-Star Game."

"I probably won't be, so count me in."

"If we're still together."

"See! Stop trying to expire us," he demanded and she smiled.

"Yeah, yeah," she laughed, snuggling into his side. But then she paused. Her heart was pounding at the possibilities, but one thing was for sure. Lifting up, she looked down at him. "I want to be in love before we move in, by the way. I don't want us just moving in 'cause it's easy. I want it because we love each other and want to build a home together. If we aren't there at three months, then it's okay. Okay?"

As she gazed at him, his eyes were dark and she swore he was holding something back when he looked up into her face. His lips curved and he nodded before whispering, "Okay, but I want you to promise me something right now."

"Okay?"

"You stay with Jayden till then, or with your mom. But don't go get an apartment or a hotel room. Okay?"

"But what if we decide we don't want to live together at the end of January?"

His face was stone as he held her gaze. "We will."

"How do you know? You frustrate the hell out of me, you know that?"

He scoffed. "Good, I love the way you look when you're mad," he said, nibbling at her jaw. Rolling her eyes, she wrapped her arms around his neck as he looked up at her, his nose pressing into hers. "This is going to work. Me and you. Just accept it."

"Anything can become a factor, anything can break us."

"Not if we don't let it."

She eyed him, unable to understand how he could be so confident about them. "How? How are you so self-assured?"

"Because I met someone who, without even realizing it, reassures me to believe in us."

Her lips curved. "I do?"

He nodded. "Yup, every time you try to fight what's happening between us, it only makes me want to fight you harder for you. Just FYI, I'm a scrapper. I will win."

She grinned. "Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah," he said, rolling them over. "I beat alcoholism, I worked my ass off to earn my spot back in the NHL, and every day I strive to be a good man. It used to be for Ava and Leary, but now, I want to be a good man for you."

She paused, her heart stopping in her chest. "Do you still miss them?"

He met her gaze and he nodded, his pain visible. "I miss the stuff I can remember. I miss their smiles. The way Leary said 'Daddy.' How Ava used to look at me with love in her eyes when I was me, not the drunk. She hated the drunk. Can't blame her. I hated him too because I missed a lot."

"That's awful," she said, her eyes widening as he nodded.

"It is. I don't remember the cool things at all. Like Leary's first steps, her first words, or anything like that. It's sad and it's something I have had to learn to deal with. I asked for a lot of forgiveness. For the longest time, I blamed myself. But I was sick. So sick."

"Alcoholism is scary."

"It is," he agreed as her heart ached for him. "I know now, if I had a chance to go back to all that, to do it differently, I-" He paused, and she knew what he was going to say next. That he'd go back and do it all over again, that he'd be the husband Ava needed and the father Leary deserved. She expected it. It was who he was, a good man, no matter that she never would have had the chance to be with him. That she never would have had the chance to be fully happy.

Looking down, he cleared his throat. "I would have gotten divorced when Ava asked the first time, and then I would have been the father Leary needed once I got clean."

She exhaled deeply, surprised. He looked up, their eyes meeting. "I hurt them enough. I broke their trust. I lost my chance to be good for them. I know that now, and I'm not trying to disrespect their memory-"

"Never," she answered. "I would never think that."

"But they would have been better off without me."

Her heart was in her throat as she held him. "It takes a real man to know that."

"I've grown from it, accepted it, learned from it. And now, I just want to be better than what I was to them. I want to honor them by making you and Angie happy. I want to do right by you two."

Swallowing hard, she smiled. "I want the same."

"Good. You got it," he said, kissing her lips softly. But she didn't kiss him back like she normally did. No, she was too consumed with her feelings, her worries. When he pulled back, he looked confused as he asked, "What's wrong?"

She shook her head and she hated how the tears threatened to fall. "I'm worried about Angie."

His eyes filled with compassion as he held her gaze. "Me too."

"Do you think she's okay?"

"I hope so."

Emotion choked her as she closed her eyes. "Do you think tomorrow is going to be bad?"

Rolling them over, her body pressing into his hard one, he hugged her. "You know what? I don't know. I know that's not the answer you want. I know you want me to tell you it's going to go great. But I don't know, and I'm sorry I don't," he said, his mouth near hers as he spoke. "But I can promise you, no matter what happens, I will stand beside you, and I will be there for you through it all. Okay?"

Yeah, her heart was going nuts, and it took everything not to cry out in joy. If it had been her mother, she would have promised it would be fine. That everything would work out. But Benji didn't do that. He just promised he'd be there, and that almost made it all better.

Almost.

But even with the nasty feeling in her stomach, she knew she'd be okay. Not because she was always okay, but because she had Benji.

Lucy was going to need Benji too.

Because when she got to the rink...

Rick was nowhere in sight.

"I don't understand why he isn't answering the phone," she said frantically, calling him for the ninth time.

"Maybe they overslept?" her mom said, hopeful and always so damn positive. "It's early."

But Lucy shook her head, dread filling her chest as it went to voice mail once more. It was taking everything out of her not to lose it. Not to scream. Not to drive over there and kick Rick's ass. She knew she couldn't do that, though, that it would only make matters worse. Plus, she was a fucking lady. Most of the time.

"God, Mom, weren't you listening to me? He's being a dick like always and not bringing her 'cause it's not in the parenting plan," she spat out as she called once more, again going to voice mail. Benji's arm came around her waist, pulling her into his side before kissing her temple.

"Breathe," he whispered against her ear. "Calm down. It isn't her fault."

"I know that," she bit out, only seeing red. "But I don't know if you know, but my daughter is not here when she is supposed to be."

Meeting her gaze, he held it as he nodded. The man had the patience of a saint because even she knew she was being a little hostile. "I know, but we knew there could be a chance he wouldn't show. Breathe."

Sucking in a breath, she let it out and then nodded. He was right. They had hoped Rick wouldn't do this, but she was pretty sure she'd always known he wouldn't show. He was more concerned with hurting Lucy than he was about caring for Angie's needs, and she was fucking done.