Time to look for some fun. I was wandering about to look for something to do. I first exchanged some of the gold I took from the sunken s.h.i.+p for my own expenses, then started to look for some food. I saw a few familiar faces like Eusta.s.s Kid and Killer, Jewelery Bonney and Capone Bege. At the restaurant I ate more than Bonney and caught her attention. I knew that her powers had to do with age so I avoided having to touch her even though I wanted to. After the restaurant ran empty to make anymore food I paid my bill and went to another restaurant. On my way out I was stopped by Bonney.

Bonney: Hey! How dare you take my food away!

Sage: I paid for my food just like you did, so what is the problem?

Bonney: You owe me food.

Sage: I can give you some juicy meat but it is up to you if you find it delicious.

Bonney: You think you can just talk to me that way and not pay any consequences, ya b.a.s.t.a.r.d?

Sage: I think I am one of those few who can talk to you that way, act upon it and have no repercussions.

Bonney: Hmph. Big talk but do you have the b.a.l.l.s to back it up?

Sage: What do you propose?

Bonney: An eating contest. The one who can't eat anymore loses, pays for everything and has to do whatever the winner says.

Sage: What do you get for winning?

Bonney: You get to pay for everything including my s.h.i.+ps supplies.

Sage: What if I win?

Bonney: HA! Since you won't win, make it whatever you want.

Sage: (With a big grin on my face) Fine, if I win, I want you for a one night stand. Oh and before you weasel your way out you can't change the way you are or me by any means.

Bonney: Tch! Fine, that restaurant (Pointed at a nearby restaurant) will be where we will have the contest. We will meet back here in 2 hours, got it?

Sage: Haha, that's fine.

Within that time I opened a Yomotsu Hirasaka back to the Naruto universe to go home briefly. This time I remembered the timing and energy drain. I traversed in under an hour. I finally reached back home through the same way I came, at the portal in my back yard. I saw Mei first and greeted her. Tsunade went food shopping and Mei was watching the children. The entire time I was gone only a few days pa.s.sed here. I have no clue how the time function works but the 2-3 months I spent in the One Piece Universe is only 4-5 days here. Tsunade came back and I was able to tell them my experience there. I told them when the kids are old enough I will take all of them there to experience a new world. I played with my children, put them to sleep and recovered enough energy before I went into the yard to re-enter the portal and return to Sabaody Archipelago for the contest. Within that entire time I had 30 minutes to recuperate from the energy drain but because it was an eating contest and I was nearly running on empty, this will surely not end well for Jewelry Bonney. I went back to the meeting spot and entered the restaurant.

Bonney: I see you didn't run away.

Sage: Why would I run? Are you someone I should run from?

Bonney: You don't know who I am do you?

Sage: I just know that after this you will be just another women in my bed.

Bonney: Dream on.

I'm guessing due to her Ak.u.ma no Mi (Devil fruit) of altering age she can use it to slow or heighten her metabolism letting her eat more. By the end of this she will be eating more then just food. A few hours later I won the contest, duh, so she paid the bill for the contest and I looked for an inn. With replenished strength another 3 hours pa.s.sed after f.u.c.king the s.h.i.+t out of Bonney, at least she was true to her word.

I got a call from the Den Den Mus.h.i.+, Transponder snail, I borrowed from Franky saying that Camie has been kidnapped. I grabbed my clothes and slapped Bonney on the a.s.s before I left. Over the Den Den Mus.h.i.+ I listened in until they concluded she was at the slave auction house. I was already waiting for everyone there so we could enter together. Nami explained that she had enough money to buy Camie back but with the pieces of s.h.i.+t bidding for a mermaid the money they carry won't mean anything. I looked at the crowd and spotted the Tenryuubito, my targets. I was pondering how I would go about killing the woman without angering Sanji too much. I guess I could use Tsukuyomi so she can live out her life in a fraction of a second and kill her like Itachi did to Izumi but as for her brother and father, they are free game.

As the auction started I spotted Eusta.s.s Kid, Killer, Law and his crew. I felt around and took the gold the bidders had on their person telekinetically. I tapped Nami on the shoulder and showed her the bags I've collected but warned her not to get her hopes up.

Nami: Sage, why are telling me not to get my hopes up on buying Camie back, don't you want her back?

Sage: It's nothing like that but have you ever heard of the Tenryuubito?

Nami: I have heard of them, but so what?

Sage: They are here in those special seats there. (I pointed to the s.h.i.+t heads with the bubble fishbowls on their heads). If you think you can outbid them and walk away without a fight or having an admiral coming after us then think again.

Nami: Then, what do we do?

Sage: We're pirates right? Take her back by force. You can still bid if you'd like but don't be discouraged by the amount that fat sack of s.h.i.+t raises it up to.

After the first few people that were auctioned off the main event was coming. I disliked the auctioneer as well so he will also die. The showmans.h.i.+p started and Camie was brought out in a giant fishbowl. Before Disco, the Human Auctioning House auctioneer, could start at a price, Charlos, the World n.o.ble son, stood up and bid 500 Million Beli. Like in the original Nami and the crew were shocked by the amount he shouted out. I was able to steal only 250 million from the bidders so we were 50 million short but it didn't matter. Charlos could have said 1 million or less and no one would out bid him because of who he is. Since the outrageous amount was announced and the bid closed, Disco made sure that Camie was secured. Luffy with Zoro and the flying fish riders busted through the door. Following the story, Luffy saw Camie…

Luffy: Camie! Hold on, I'll save you!

Hachi: Stop! Mugiwara (Strawhat)! (While grabbing onto Luffy)

Hachi held on to Luffy and exposed himself as a fishman in the process. Everyone in the crowd screamed in terror. As Luffy shook loose from Hachi's grip, all that was heard was a gunshot. When Luffy turned around he saw Hachi laying down in a pool of blood. With Charlos dancing while saying he "caught a fishman" in that ridiculously annoying. I waited until Luffy punched the s.h.i.+t out of him before I did anything so he could establish the fact that no one f.u.c.ks with his friends. I flashed next to Luffy, walked toward Charlos, picked him up by the head and smashed his head apart killing him on the spot.

Shalria: Charlos nii-sama!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!

Rosward: Charlos, my son!!!!!!! SOMEONE CALL AN ADMIRAL AND BATTLEs.h.i.+PS HERE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE WILL PURGE THIS LAND OF THESE Sc.u.m!!!!!!!

The crowd drew back, even Kid and Law were not in smiles like they were in the original. I told Luffy to get Camie and be careful of the exploding collar. I flashed next to Rosward.

Sage: (Grabbed him by his neck with my tail) Feel the pain of those you have tormented you mortal piece of s.h.i.+t.

I grabbed his arms from the shoulders, dug in and ripped his arms off. To stop him from dying too quickly from blood loss I burned the gaping holes where his arms used to be. I moved on to his legs to do the same. I dropped him, put my foot on his temple and stomped down. Terrified of what I have done to her father and brother Shalria collapsed on the ground.

Shalria: Spare me you plebian! Spare me worm!

Sage: (I squatted down and grabbed her by the chin) I'm guessing this is the first time you're begging someone for anything right? Because this is not how you beg someone to spare your life, you f.u.c.king thot!

I activated my Mangekyo Sharingan and in less then a second Shalria died as I showed her a reverse version of how she treated her slaves. She died with a horrified ugly and shriveled face. I could have cared less how I killed her, the only reason I held back and didn't make it b.l.o.o.d.y is because I didn't want to lose respect from Sanji as he was helping me with my cooking. At the same time that I killed her, in an effort to stop me, Rayleigh used his Haoshoku no Haki (Color of the Supreme King) but all I felt was a slight tingling sensation. Other than me, the rest of the guards were knocked out. A giant opened the curtains and Silvers Rayleigh stepped out of stage.