April, 1103 A.D.

tRehabilitation had just begun at the beginning of April. It was the twentieth of April, now.

tDragon had put it off because he had wanted to be absolutely sure that all of the nerves were healed fully, so that we didn't waste all of the time that he had put into healing them.

tAnd this was already a nearly impossible process.

tI had begun with my fingers. I had been able to feel from my forearm down to my fingers, because the damage to the nerves wasn't nearly as severe there as the rest of my left side, but even with the lack of damage to the nerves there, it was still excruciating to make my fingers move.

tDragon instructed me gently to wiggle my fingers and ball my hand into a fist, and splintering pain shot through my entire system each time I flexed even one finger.

tAll of my nerves felt as if they were exploding with each movement my fingers and hand made.

tI finally understood why Dragon had told me it would be such a difficult process. If it was this hard to make my fingers move, how hard would it be to stand...? Or walk?

tDespair began to spear through me.

t.i.t took me two days to master my hand and fingers. Dragon had me to continue on, moving further up my arm, bending the arm at the elbow.

tEven more painful than the last challenge, and another day.

t.i.t took me two days to re-learn using from my shoulder down my entire left arm, lifting it off of the bed with immense pain and frustration.

tThen, the harder part began.

tDragon had me begin to focus on my feet, starting with my toes. He instructed me to move my big toe, and tears ran down my face as my body adjusted to using the newly healed nerves to make my big toe flex.

tWhen it came time to wiggle all of my toes, I screamed. My leg had been completely useless, afterall. And re-learning how to use my toes felt as if every muscle in my foot was aflame, being ripped to shreds.

tThe process with my toes took three days.

tMy ankle was next, another two-day long process of pain. And then, from my knee down, flexing my calf and forcing the knee to bend, was very tough for me.

tThat took another day.

tMoving my entire leg, lifting it off of the bed, I screamed for four days.

tLearning how to sit up on my own proved to be exceedingly difficult, and I cried in frustrated pain.

tBut with Dragon's help, I mastered sitting up within five more days.

t.i.t only took twenty days to master all of that.

tBut now.... now, the hardest part so far came into play.

tDragon helped me to get propped up, my left foot resting gently on the floor beneath me.

tHe held my arms for support.

t"Now, Kysael...straighten your leg, foot flat on the ground." Once I did so, he met my eyes. "This will be the most excruciatingly painful thing that you have experienced during the rehabilitation process so far. Are you ready to try to stand on your own?"

tI took a deep breath before I pressed my lips together and nodded. "Yes."

tHe let go of me, but kept his arms out, ready to help me if I needed him.

tI let my entire body weight sit evenly on both of my legs, and I gasped in pain, Dragon catching me before I could fall.

t"I'm alright," I said after a moment, breathless. "I was just a little unprepared for the pain to be that.... extreme." I met his eyes. "I want to try again."

tHe eyed me warily. "Are you positive?"

t"Yes."

tHe gently let me go again, and this time, I was prepared for the pain that shot through my leg. I forced myself to bear it.

tThe sooner I got through this, the sooner I'd be walking.

tThe excitement at the prospect of walking again pushed me to lift my right leg off of the floor, leaving all of my weight to be held by my left leg.

t"Kysael, it's too soon!" Dragon shouted as I screamed.

tAnd everything went black.

*

tWhen I came to, I was lying in bed with Dragon healing my leg.

t"You foolish girl! You have to take the gentlest nudges to recovery, or this will only continue to happen. If you push yourself too hard, you will only undo all of the hard work that I have put into healing you!"

t"I'm sorry...." I whispered sadly, ashamed.

t"I know that you are excited, Kysael. I am excited for you. But you have to be careful, and you have to be patient."

t"Can we try steps soon?" I asked.

tHe sighed. "Come on, then." He stood me back onto the floor, and it felt nice for him to pick me up. I didn't dwell on the thought, though. I couldn't let myself feel pleasure from his touch. I couldn't allow myself to feel that happiness. If I did, it only broke my heart all over again that I couldn't give myself to him.

t"Do not put all of your weight onto your left leg again until I tell you that you are ready. I will let you know when it is time for that." He let me go, and stepped back a few steps. "Now, gently, step toward me."

tI stepped with my left foot first, putting very little pressure on it as I took a step, and then another.

tHappy tears ran down my face. "Dragon! Dragon, I'm taking steps! I'm doing it!" I cried.

tHe smiled. "I see. You are doing great. Now, continue to slowly come over to me."

tI took gentle little steps, laughing even through the pain.

tI couldn't believe that for the first time since November, I was actually walking!

tFinally, though, the pain did get to me, and I began to fall toward him, gasping. He rushed forward to catch me, and lifted me up into his arms. His skin against mine was, once again, euphoric. I struggled not to think about how his touch seared my flesh with pleasure and tears p.r.i.c.kled my eyes. I blinked them away, quickly.

t"You did very well, Kysael. Better than I had expected this soon." He sat me down on my bed. "I am proud of you."

t"You are proud of me? I am proud of you! You are the one who made this possible, Dragon. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't even be alive..." I kissed his cheek. "I owe you more than I could ever repay you for."

tHe smiled. "You don't owe me anything." He went to the door of the room. "Get some rest, Kysael. We are done for today. I need to get back to work."

tI sighed, and leaned back in the bed. I closed my eyes, and I quickly began to dream.

tI dreamed of Kirinae, out in the forest.

tI dreamed of Kelose, with a hood over his head, his golden eyes piercing me from under the darkness of that hood, his face obscured from my vision.

tHe had a sword underneath his cloak, poking out at the side. He was hooded and cloaked all in black, and he was in the darkness in the forest.

tHe looked almost as if he were a....rogue...but why?

tThere were two children, one that looked similar to Kelose, and one that looked similar to Dragon.

tI felt as if I knew them, and I felt an odd sense of peace from seeing their faces.

tSuddenly, I saw the dream change so that I was seeing Mafrien, and I saw him hiding in the castle, avoiding some larger, more imposing Darkelf that I didn't know and didn't want to ever meet that struck fear through my heart at the sight of him.

tI also dreamed of a tall, obviously not human or elf man, with long white hair and blue eyes, and I dreamed of him whisking me around, carrying my weight as if it were nothing, leaning down to kiss me...

tAnd I jolted awake.

tDragon was getting dressed, and he looked at me. I looked over his partially nude body before I looked away, giving him some privacy to continue dressing without my ogling.

tHe chuckled. "You don't have to look away, Kysael. I belong to you."

I blushed. "But I cannot have you," I reminded him sadly.

He sighed, but he gave me a smile that melted my heart. "You seemed to be sleeping fair," he commented. "Are you feeling alright?"

tI nodded. "I feel rested. What time is it? Or what day is it?"

t"You fell asleep yesterday morning," he told me softly. "You slept through the morning, the rest of the day and the night, and it is morning once again."

t"Twenty-four hours? Goodness, I had not realized that I was so tired."

tHe smiled warmly at me. "It's been a rough time for you. I am sure that you needed every bit of the rest," he said.

tI stretched. "I was having some strange dreams..." I sighed.

t"You did murmur a lot in your sleep, though it was unintelligible."

t"Oh, have you seen Kirinae? I haven't seen her around."

t"The last I saw her was a couple of days ago, when I was talking to her about my frustrations...." Then he startled. "We haven't heard from her since then? I had thought that she was training with Moserre!"

t"No, she would have been back by now if it's really been an entire day..."

t"Oh, no!" Dragon walked around the room, pacing. "Where could she be?"

t"Relax, Dragon. Maybe she went hunting and just hasn't found anything she wants yet. Just because we haven't seen her in a couple of days doesn't mean that she's in danger. If you'll recall, I disappeared many times and was perfectly safe."

t"It isn't her safety that I am concerned with, Kysael! Kirinae can be dangerous! If someone were to cross her path and acted any sort of negative or fearful way, she could kill them!"

tI scoffed. "Dragon, I am sure that she's fine. She always is. Stop worrying."

tHe sighed, taking a deep breath, trying to calm down. "You're right. She's strong, and I don't think that anyone would mess with her, really, considering her appearance."

t"See? You're worrying yourself over nothing. I am sure that she will be back soon. But it's nice to know how much you care about her."

t"I don't know how you can be so calm about this."

t"Because I know that she will be fine, and she will return once she is ready."

tHe smiled. "I'm sure you're right. You're her mother, after all."

tI hoped that I was right.

tBut I did have to wonder where she had gone. It wasn't like her to just wander off.... or maybe it was.

tShe'd been born from me, after all, and I had just wandered off several times over the course of my lifetime.

tWhere had my daughter gone? It wasn't like her to just disappear… was it?

tI was ashamed to admit that I didn't really know her all that well.